This too shall pass....

A Better Post Will Be Forthcoming

2012-01-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

Listen you guys.
I know I haven't been around much.
I have been doing stuff.
Crafty stuff for CHA.
And anti-hoarder stuff for, well, humanity.
Since Christmas, I have been de-junking.
And in de-junking, I have run across many old things...old love notes from Sam when we were dating, stick figure drawings from the kids, someone's baby tooth...
I have been crying a lot.
Stupid hormones.

Anyway, I leave tomorrow for CHA.
HERE is a link to my accounting of CHA from a couple of years ago.
I will be taking a camera.

I don't mean to brag, but I will be meeting Tori Spelling.
At a fancy invitation-only dress-up reception.

I am embarrassed to say that I never watched 90210, and I really haven't caught any episodes of her "Tori and Dean" show on Oxygen or wherever it is.
I am not sure what to say to her.
In fact, the only thing I think of when I hear the name "Tori Spelling" is that she has been in every magazine everywhere when they do a "Plastic Surgery Gone Bad" feature.

Apparently she is releasing a Jewelry or craft-type line at CHA.
I was unclear.
I just hope she makes enough money doing her line to fix herself.
Or that her line features very distracting cleavage necklaces.

Also, I hope I don't make a fool of myself.
Whenever I go to something fancy I feel like one of the Clampetts.

P. S.
I took those shoes back to the thrift store, and got my five bucks back!
They put them back on the shelf.
(?!!!)

Thrift Store Shopping.

2012-01-16T14:52:00.001-07:00

It is no secret that I love thrift store shopping!

I used to hold onto the stigma that thrift store shopping was gross, and just a glorified yard sale.
But, we have an awesome thrift store, near the gym.
My gym partner Ponica and I would often frequent the thrift store after our work-out, to find treasures.
We started in on the clothes one day, and I was hooked!

Here is what I like about thrift store clothes.
They have been washed and worn. And broken in.
Nothing bugs me more than buying a sweater from a department store, wearing it once, and then washing it...and having it turn into an oddly shaped muffin-top baring, arms tourniquet.
I don't like to lay my damp sweaters out on those mesh drying racks.
I don't like to have to try and remember if my shirt can't be dried in the dryer.
I can barely remember my pin number.
Clothes maintenance shouldn't require space in my brain.

Enter the thrift store.
When you try something on, that is exactly how it is going to fit.
Forever.
Also, when you can score designer jeans?

Original price $178.00

My cost: Six bucks.
I have gotten tons and tons of brand name shirts, jeans, slacks, skirts and shoes for dirt cheap.
It is also the thrill of "the hunt" that makes it so fun.
And also the occasional "WTH is this?"
Thrift stores often have very odd items of clothing.

I went thrifting on Saturday.
I found a dang cute pair of shoes.

They hadn't even been worn!

Five bucks!
My size. Comfortable wedge heel.
I was pretty excited about them.
I thought they would look cute with my black skirt, black textured tights, and gray cardigan.
So in the cart they happily went!

You have to be careful in the thrift store.
I once wore a pair of shoes into the store that were kinda uncomfortable to walk around in. It was my first time wearing them. I had purchased them previously from the thrift store for $6.
My sisters and I were planning on spending the rest of the day shopping, so I took those shoes off, and tried on some other shoes at the thrift store that might be better for our shop-til-you-drop.
I found a pair that felt okay, so I tested them out, and walked up the aisle and back a few times.
When I came back, MY SHOES were gone.

Someone was buying them, apparently.

The shoes I was trying out, were tagged $6, so I just wore them out of the store, and called it a good trade.
I kinda wanted to chase down the people buying my shoes, and tell them they were uncomfortable!

Anyway, always keep your real shoes and clothes in your cart when you are at the thrift store.
I clump around in the shoe department, with my right foot-shoe off, ready to try on shoes, and the left foot still in my own shoe.
People are less likely to purchase one single shoe.
So far.

Back to my cute new shoes.
Sunday morning dawns.
I shower, do my hair, slap some make-up on, and start getting dressed.
On goes the cardigan, skirt, tights....and WHAT?
I can't get the left shoe on.
Internets, there have been some mornings where literally overnight, I can bloat up, and not fit into my jeans.
They are not good mornings.
And some mornings, overnight, you feel too jiggly to pull off a tight shirt.
I get it.
But shoes? My feet have never bloated before?
This was new.
I tried to do the Cinderella Step-Sister thing, and squeeze into them.
You can't suck foot fat in.
I totally know they fit in the store!

I double checked the size.
Yep, a size 8....and oh, wait a minute....the left foot? Size 6.
Which explains why they had never been WORN.
A 6 and an 8.

Who the crap donated those shoes to the thrift store, and thought it was the right thing to do?

Did they think, that by some miracle, some woman plagued with a rare foot disease in which one foot is normally sized, and the other is shriveled and withered, would find those shoes and quickly snatch them up, grateful for the miracle?

I am taking them back.
Five bucks is five bucks.

About Customer Service and Christmas Money

2012-01-13T14:02:00.004-07:00

I have had a couple of experiences lately that have made me think about customer service.
A while back I ran across this website that runs daily deals.
Deals that are limited in number, and when they are sold, they are gone.
It is called "Pick Your Plum."
I am sure you all have a similar one bookmarked- it seems like a million of them have popped up.
This particular one is geared towards girly/crafty things, (headbands, jewelry, project kits) so I have placed a bunch of orders with them over the course of the past few months.
(No, I am not being compensated in any way to endorse their site.)
I was just pleasantly surprised when I opened my first order from them.
It shipped quickly and when I opened the package, it was packaged carefully- each item bagged with a handmade tag stamped with the company logo.
And the best part?
A Laffy Taffy dropped out of the package.

A tiny little unexpected treat all for meeeeee!
And I am not sure how they knew, but they picked the banana flavor.
My favorite.
I am not saying that next time I crave Laffy Taffy, I am going to place an order with them.
Well, maybe.
You can always win me over with candy.
But it put a smile on my face.
That little something extra.
I am hesitant to link you to the site, since they have limited supplies of "deals" and I will now have to beat you all to them!
But I can whole-heartedly back that company.
Great prices. Cheap shipping.
I have e-mailed them with questions, and have gotten a quick response.
I am sure they do a lot of business, but they made me feel like I was one of their favorite customers.
You don't see that a lot anymore.

Take for instance Satan's Warehouse.
I was there one evening with a friend of mine, who has to be the nicest person on the planet.
That being said, I watched her, as we shopped, gradually morph from Pollyanna into a crusty troll.
If the mix of crappy music, constant overhead cashier pages, and screaming children weren't enough, it seems like that place periodically moves an entire department to another area of the store, just to "mix things up a little."
The employees, if you can find them, and if you can speak their native tongue, which is never English, can't seem to locate the items you are looking for either.
They give you the deer-in-headlights-stare, coupled with a shoulder shrug.
Occasionally, you can get one who will volunteer to "help you find it."
And then proceed to lead you over to the area you already just scoured, and then tell you "Gosh, I am just not sure. Let me call a CSM (Walmart speak for customer service manager) for you."
Which is code for "You are going to hear me page out on my little black phone, and then I am going to disappear forever."
Anyway, back to my friend.
When we did locate her items almost all of them were out of stock.
No lie.
Just an empty space where they should be.
Some of her items she begrudgingly substituted with something else, but a good portion, she knew she would have to come back for another day.
I watched her physically and mentally wilt.
And finally, when we approached the check-out, she had reached her limit of patience and compassion.

Now, I am not sure about the timing of things in life.
Sometimes fate has a funny way of working things.
They must have had a recent staff-meeting on customer service, because the first thing our chipper checker ( and the ONLY checker, with a line stretching back to layaway) said to us was....wait for it....

"Did you find everything alright this evening?"

The proverbial dam burst.
My usually mellow friend let loose on the poor cashier.

"Why do you even ask that? Are you going to physically leave your little perch and help me find something if I asked? Are you going to pretend that you even know where anything is in this store? Do they MAKE YOU SAY THAT?!!"

The poor cashier rang her items up with lightening speed.
My friend, having released those pent-up frustrations, apologized to the cashier (and the 632 people in line behind us)--while she bagged her own items.
I just sat back and ate my Rolo's.

My friend apologized to me in the car.
"I am sorry you had to be there for that. I am not sure what is wrong with me- that place just frustrates me every time."

Preaching to the choir, sister.

You can talk to employees all you want about customer service, and match every ad, but bottom line is walking the walk.
And with no competition to speak of, what is the motivation?

That is why I was blown away this week by another example of excellent customer service.
(Again- not being compensated to state my opinion here.)
I placed my first order with an online stamps and etc. company "Papertrey Ink."
I have often gone to their site, and made a mental wish-list.
But truth be told, I have so stinking much scrapbooking crap that I could never justify paying for more.
And I am not really a stamper.
I just love the style on the site.
Everything is so pretty.
And they don't use cheesy fonts on their stamps.
No Comic Sans, or Brush Script.

Well, lately I have been doing a lot of cards, and cards need a sentiment.
I do this complicated text box thing in Word.
I make a phrase, measure it to fit a tag, print it....then adhere the tag to the printed phrase, and run it back through the printer again.
Sometimes it shifts.
And I curse.
And then have to die cut another tag, and attempt running it again.
So I thought to myself, "Man, it would sure be nice if there was a various sentiment stamp set that fit these tags."

Well there is.
Here:
Tiny Tags

And here:
Tiny Tags II

And also a die set that fits all the stamps perfectly.

So I used my Christmas money, and bought them all!

Let me insert a small insight here, on the Christmas money thing.
My parents give me and my sisters Christmas money, with certain restrictions.
You have to spend the money on YOURSELF.
No bills, or household expenses.
And it is an unwritten restriction, that you must spend it on something slightly frivolous.
Something you have wanted for a while, but have not been able to justify it into the household budget.
They like it when you report back on what you spent the money on.
Once I bought a vacuum.
It was not well received.

So these stamps were perfect for me.
It's kinda like the story of the toilet seat.
I am going to use the heck out of these things, and why didn't I treat myself to them long ago?

I happily placed the order, and three days later, the package was sitting on my porch.
Inside the box, each item was individually wrapped in tissue paper, just like Christmas!

I want you to look closer.
Enclosed in the tissue is a real live "Thank You" card.
Hand-signed by the owner of the company, and some employees, I presume.
Thanking me for my order.
"We look forward to exceeding your expectations in both quality and service."
(Um, you already have.)

Also in the package?
A free "Thank You" stamp set.
There is nothing on their website, baiting you to order.
"Order now, and get this FREE STAMP SET."
It was a pleasant surprise.
My order was only forty bucks, but my business was appreciated.

Kinda refreshing.
Now, I don't expect "freebies" or candy to make me a returning customer, but there has got to be a happy medium between that and bag-your-own-groceries.

I still have Christmas money to spend.

Hello 2012!

2012-01-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

Or as the cool kids say "twenty-twelve."
Unless you automatically just read the title like that to begin with.
I didn't.
I still say "two thousand, twelve."
To be completely honest, I have to admit that I actually say "two thousand eleven."
It will take me until at least April to peg the right year down.
Wow.
A whole paragraph about nothing!

Here is another.
I just drank a bag of chips.
You know how nothing is left in the bag, but the crumbs and super concentrated flavoring powder?
Usually people throw the bag away at that point.
Not I.
I drink it.
I also really love the last bowl of cereal.
The bowl that is crumbs and then when you add milk it turns into instant mush, with lots of sugar.

My diet plan is going great, thanks for asking.

I am knee-deep in projects for CHA.
Here is a CHA recap, from a couple of years ago, if you are curious what it is all about:
CHA 2009
It is basically a trade-show for crafting.
Good stuff!
I am busy making projects for it, and then I will be going to the show to work a booth.
Awesome people watching in my immediate future.

I dug myself out for a minute here, to say hello.
And also because I have lost my adhesive gun.

It is the size of a standard house cat.
And it is LOST on my counter.

It looks like an episode of Hoarders in here.
And I look like a contestant on the Biggest Loser, what with my sweatpants and Cheeto-dust cleavage.

Back to my projects!

Choose the Right

2011-12-30T16:58:00.003-07:00

I am starting out a new year, with a new Primary class in church.
They have me teaching the eight and nine year old kids.
Totally right up my alley, since that is about the brain level I am on myself.

The lesson manual I use this year, really focuses the first few lessons on "CTR."
"CTR" is the Mormon equivalent of "WWJD?"
The letters "CTR" stand for "Choose the Right."
We have songs about it, jewelry, and tee-shirts.
And vinyl wall-art, and pillow-cases, and probably underwear.

I once saw a girl with a fancy "CTR" tramp-stamp, which is about the biggest oxymoron I have seen in all my 40 years, as my religion is opposed to tattoo's.

Anyway....I made a poster (8x10) and a hand-out (4x6) for my new class.
I thought I would share it, in case anyone else out there would like their own copy.
You can right click on the image, save it, upload it to a photo center, and have it printed.
The first image is the poster, sized to be printed as an 8x10, and the next image is sized as a 4x6.
If you have any issues downloading or whatever, shoot me a comment, or an e-mail, and I will try to help you.

Wish me luck on my new class.
The first few weeks are like herding kittens.
Kittens on Red Bull.

Tapering Off the Sugar Makes Me Grouchy.

2011-12-28T14:20:00.004-07:00

Someone needs to wire my jaw shut.
For many reasons.
I am eating everything that is not nailed down. I don't even like plain M&M's....but they are right there....
Someone gave us a gourmet caramel apple.
It is so pretty!
Dunked in chewy caramel, then coated in white chocolate, and then generously sprinkled in glittering cinnamon-sugar.
I found the apple to be in my way.
All I really wanted was the candy it was wrapped in.
'Tis the season where fruits and vegetables are for suckers! Give me carbs! And sweet, sweet, sugar.

And here is the other reason it would probably serve all of humanity to have my jaw wired shut.
I have a few Holiday Season vents I would like to share.

Unexpected gift givers: I have found there are only a couple of ways to deal with unanticipated offerings: A-keep on hand several generic pre-wrapped gifts to do the instant exchange with, or B- re-gift. Either way requires lying. "Oh my gosh! You! Let me get YOUR gift, Merry Christmas, you!"

Caroling: Seriously folks, nothing is more uncomfortable than a surprise attack of carolers. It is awkward for everyone involved. I have been on both ends of the awkwardness. On the performing end, you are forced to plaster on a fake smile that says "I love this! I love giving! And freezing!"
There is always a handful of people in the group that really do have singing talent, they are needed to drown out the rest of the people that were suckered into the group. They belt out those tunes, like that are auditioning for Broadway! They know all the words to "Good King Wenceslas." They often own things like woolen ascots, or faux fur muffs. They live for this crap!

To be on the receiving end is equally painful. Maybe more-so.

Here you are, minding your own business, just barely sitting down on the couch to take in an episode of Modern Family, when the doorbell rings. The porch is crowded with strangers and an occasional acquaintance who burst into song simultaneously the minute the door cracks. Surprise!
How many songs are they going to sing?
Don't they know we have radio now?
Do you invite them in? Thank them? WHAT IS THE PROTOCOL?
Must I whip up some glog or Wassail?

Wassail: Take some perfectly good, ice cold, refreshing apple juice, spike it with some bark and seed pod shards, boil it up on the stove until it smells and tastes just like a Glade Plug-in. Serve it up!
Everyone loves it!
Yeah...no one on my team loves it. I think if you are on team Wassail, I can safely assume you also enjoy raisins junking up your cinnamon rolls, and secretly enjoy the occasional slice of fruitcake.

Odd batteries not included: I get it that manufacturers don't include batteries in things. The batteries can go bad quickly, or even leak and ruin the product. But for the love, please use normal batteries if you are not going to include them. Nothing is worse than getting something unwrapped on Christmas morning to find that it needs a 9-volt, or a CR123.

Gifts that require intentional post-Christmas exchanging: "I thought this sweater looked just like you, but they didn't have your size." Better yet, when the well-meaning giver buys you a size XS, when the entire world can plainly see what a pipe dream THAT is.

Even more annoying is when it is not accompanied by any sort of a sales receipt.

The kids being out of school: "Christmas Break" my butt. I am happy for all of the teachers of the world, but having all my kids home, for two whole weeks, cooped up inside- because it is 17 degrees outside is not really a catalyst for "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

New Year's: I gotta be honest. New Year's gives me anxiety. I don't really even know how it is spelled. Is it New Years, or New Year's? Grammar police? Help?
I feel compelled to lay low the weeks leading up to the holiday, thus avoiding any invitations to parties. By the time New Year's rolls around, I am tired. I want nothing more than to eat leftovers, and sit on my own couch, in sweatpants and watch a movie.
Preferable a movie that I have already seen, that I can fall asleep to.
Worse is the week after, when people ask you what you did for New Year's. Nothing says "Party Animal!" like admitting to being in bed by 10. To sleep.

Hey man, I'm going to need my rest.

I have a whole list of resolutions that I am gearing up to fail epically at.

Christmas Wrap-up

2011-12-27T11:09:00.004-07:00

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
Christmas for us, isn't as exciting as it once was.
Our youngest, Mikayla, is 8, and at the age where she is afraid to *not* believe in Santa.
She believes this year, but she has seen a lot of holes in the whole theory.
We are hoping next year, she will have figured it all out, and we can take off for the holidays.
A real "white" Christmas...meaning: our pasty white butts sitting on a white sand beach.

This will help to illustrate how different Christmas day is with a house full of teenagers.

Christmas was on Sunday, and our church services began at 11 a.m. Sunday morning.

I had to literally wake the kids up to make it to church on time.

At 11.

They didn't care that Santa! had! come! and dwarfed the tree in presents!

Nope. Not as fun as when they were all little, and our home was electric with excitement.

Stockings are now stuffed with acne face wash, and deodorant.

We started a tradition a few years ago.

Along with their Christmas Eve pajamas, we give them a gag toy to play with.

They look forward to this stupid toy almost more than the real Christmas the next day.

One year we gave them flying monkeys.

Another year, we gave them Nerf guns, and another year they got Sing-a-ma-jigs.

This year I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find something for them.
But I did.
Oh, man. I totally did.
They all got "Happy Hamsters."

They were the awesomest stupidest things ever!

New fleece PJ pants, heck no, I DID NOT make them.

They run on batteries, and when you put the Hamsters in the plastic ball, they scurry around the carpet. When they hit a wall, or a chair leg, or a random pile of crap, they switch directions.
Some of the stupider hamsters would only go in circles.
We had hamster races all night long.


Ready tiny warriors? GO!!!

We like stupid at our house.
We are easily amused like that.
The kids personalized their hamster balls.
"Eat My Pellets!!"
"Fluffy II"
That was Christmas Eve.
They all slept together in Jayden's room, and the next day woke up for church.

After church, we came home, changed back into our PJ's and did the whole Christmas thing.
It was a good day.

The kids are out of school for another week, so we have been playing games and watching movies every night until the wee hours. It is going to be a rude adjustment to go back to a schedule.
I attempted today.
I hit the gym for my normal 8 a.m. class.
It was a big mistake.
Huge.
My body was very angry.
It was tired, and also harboring 18 pounds of Eggnog Fudge.
But I persevered.
Mostly cause Santa brought me some new shoes, and I looked dang cute.

Priorities, people.

Santa also brought me a Happy Light.

I have been using it for a couple of weeks now.
I also supplement vitamin D3.
I am happy to report, it TOTALLY WORKS.
No kidding.
I feel normal again, and an added bonus, I no longer have the 2-3:00 musttakeanap slump.
Nor do I crave carbs and sugar.
It is a Christmas miracle!
I know I have a lot of Seasonal Depression suffering readers that have been waiting for my report back on my light therapy.
It works, people.
I don't think it is in my head. I am a very skeptical person.
But, if it *is* in my head, who the crap cares?
I feel better.
I got my light at Costco for fifty bucks.
Much cheaper than murder.

On today's agenda: Reclaiming the house.
I am swimming in the post-Christmas clutter, and I have had enough of it.
And the fudge.

December Greetings!

2011-12-15T17:41:00.004-07:00

It's been a bad year for the elderly in our family.
I lost my Grandpa a bit ago.
Sam lost his Grandma this past week. She was the last of our Grandparents.
So we attended another funeral this week.
I guess when I get older, now would be a good time of the year to go--you would escape yet another bitter cold Utah winter, and you could forget about Christmas.

Win/win.

Sam found this picture in a magazine, tore it out, and brought it to me.
He thought he was funny, and "how do these people KNOW you?"

They don't know me.
Yet, they do...

Cause they have me pegged.

See my bathrobe chasing me?
See how angry it is, that I would leave it?
See the scowl on my face?
If she were wearing a track suit, and Uggs, and walking out into a frozen tundra instead of the pleasant looking illustrated yard I would wonder if I was literally being stalked by Bristol-Myers Squibb.

Seasonal Affective Disorder has been kicking my butt.

There was a stretch when I didn't really get out of bed for three days.
I read a lot.
Seasonal Depression feels like you are dead inside, and you don't really care that you are a mere shell of a person.
You don't really want to run out in front of a truck, but then again, if that truck came barreling towards you, you wouldn't move out of the way.
It comes and goes.
I am in a good cycle now.
Sam has banned me from listening to Christmas music, cause he thinks it is "depressing crap" and contributing to my mood.
He also gives me dollars to go tanning.
And brings me Rolo's.
I go through spurts, and right now Rolo's rock my world.
Sorry Big Hunk, you were so last week...

Anyway, on to less depressing stuff!
I am finished with Christmas shopping!
I bought almost everything online this year, and holy cow, I will never go back to shopping, in a store, on my own two feet like a sucker.
Me and my robe have spent a lot of quality time in front of the computer.
Search, click, enter free shipping code, discount code, Sam's credit card number, send!
Then watch for the delivery truck.
Me and my robe love getting packages!
I love this time of year for the good mail alone.
We have been getting Christmas cards from friends and family.
I used to do those.
I got really tired of planning the photo, taking the photo, printing the photo, etc, etc.
My family is the ROT when it comes to stuff like that.
So I cut it out of our seasonal traditions, and no one seemed to care.

This year, however, I figure it has been long enough that people probably wonder how we are faring.

So here you are, Internets.
Our 2011 Family Christmas Letter:

Jayden is our oldest and will be turning 16 this year.
Being the service-oriented child he is, he is always begging us to let him drive us places.
We told him he could drive any time he wanted--when he got his learner's permit.
We told him he needed to get his Eagle first.
For those of you who don't know what an "Eagle" is....lucky.
It is a Boy Scout thing.
Jayden puts as much effort into Scouting as he does the rest of his duties.
Nada.
I can say that last phrase with full confidence that I will not hurt Jayden's feelings should he read this. Jayden took Spanish, and will therefore not be able to translate it.
But, he is excellent at finger-boarding.
"Flip, snap, snap....flip, snap, snap."
I am sure this is a skill he will be grateful he put many hours of practice in, and honed in his teen years.
He also showers every day for 2.5 hours.
He is about six feet tall.
Has abs like a washboard.
And weighs 130.
He likes to snack on celery and sunflower seeds, even when there are chocolate chip cookies in the house.
Like a damn rabbit.

This is Brendan.
He is 13.
He is our most valuable child.
He is currently in possession of $6000.00 worth of braces.
I take him to the orthodontist every three weeks. They give him new elastics each time. As a result, he has gotten into the habit of not opening his mouth fully to speak.
Like a ventriloquist.
We affectionately call him "mumbler."
"Brendan, what do you want for Christmas?"
"Mufffmffrooonooofurrr."
"Right."
I can't understand a word that comes out of that kids' mouth.
He likes to tease his sisters until they cry, and then deny it.
He is plugged into his iPod 24/7, and likes to sneak crappy music onto it.
If there is an obnoxious song on the radio, one you can't change the station fast enough for, rest assured it will be in Brendan's "most played" rotation.
He is also getting stellar grades like his brother.
I would tell you what they are, but I don't want you guys to be all jealous and stuff.

This is Shayne.
His voice changed this year, and now he sounds like James Earl Jones.
He likes to watch Spongebob.
It is weird to see a 12 year old boy, but then hear a man's laugh come out of that boy.
He has the attention span of a gnat.
If you send him on an errand that requires him to leave the room, you can forget about seeing him ever again.
His physical body is comprised solely of peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
That is all he eats.
I make him take a multi-vitamin.

This is Shayne's twin sister, Shianne.
She is also 12, going on 18.
She enjoys drama, pouting, and is very generous in distributing stink-eye.
She wears my shoe size, and my shoes.
She loves when other people are in trouble, and goes out of her way to make sure that they are.
And then she wonders why in the world "everyone hates me!."
She does like to cook, and has learned quickly the power a warm chocolate chip cookie has over an angry mom, or a livid brother.
She did just receive the "student of the month" award in Junior high.
I called to verify.
I was sure they were mistaken.
She is getting curvy, and pretty, and her Dad has cleaned and loaded all the shot-guns.

This is the baby of the family, Mikayla.
She is eight.
She can whistle whole songs through that gap in her teeth.
Her foot odor could be used in a gas chamber.
We buy her new shoes every 2-3 months, because at that point they are toxic.
She loves to craft, and has crafted up the whole house.
Everything she creates is a "treasure" and gets stuffed into nooks and crannies in her bedroom.
Mark my words, that girl is destined to become a star.....on Hoarders.

Sam and I keep getting better looking every year.
We can't help it.
We continually get offers for modeling, which we promptly turn down.
We don't think it is fair to the general public.
I was "Mother of the Year" again, this year.
Sam is so handy, he made me a hand-carved wooden cabinet to house all of my many awards.
In his free time.
He still works two jobs, hits the gym, and thinks that sleep is for the weak.
He eats a lot of protein, protein shakes, protein bars...
They give him a lot of gas, which is always hilarious, and the smell is so very attractive to me.
His hobbies include: metal detecting, crossword puzzles, and golf.
I worry that he will have nothing left to do when he is a retired old man.

I have had a very busy year maintaining my "trophy wife" status.
I can't live without my tweezers, as my chin has given my teen boys a run for their money with it's menopausal whiskers.
My hormonal mood swings keep everyone on their toes!
Who will greet us when we get home from school?
"Nice mom", or "crazy chemical mom?"
No one knows.
Not even me.

To summarize our 2011.
Our family has logged many hours lovingly sitting on the couch together watching trash.
We have spent quality time stuffing ourselves with Chalupas and other Taco Bell dollar menu delights.
We went on a bike ride once, and Shayne's chain fell off.
We almost went on a trip, and then Sam's truck needed $1800.00 to run again.
We inherited three Parakeets. The kids love them. Sam thinks he can talk to them. I think they are secretly plotting to peck my eyeballs out.
2011 has been mediocre.
Nothing spectacular, and yet, nothing horrible.

Just how we roll.

Pinterest is my Mistress.

2011-11-21T20:55:00.004-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest.

I figured today was a good day to make good on something I have spent hours searching, organizing and pinning.

To actually try one of my pins.

It was a dreary day outside, and I really saw no need to leave the comfort of my new robe.

I got this robe at Kohl's.

With Kohl's cash.

So the universe practically gave me this robe.

It is soft as premature butterfly wings.

When I wear this robe, it feels like a hug from an angel.

It is also a sex deterrent, I have learned.

Another bonus in my book.

It has pockets.

I find that robes need pockets, since bras are prohibited, and that is usually where I carry my cellphone.

So anyway...back to Pinterest.

I found this Crème Brûlée Cheesecake Bar recipe.

I almost had all of the ingredients for it at home.

I improvised on the recipe with what I had on hand, and guess what Internets?!

My version kicked butt.

I haven't made the original to compare, you can find it HERE.

But I will share mine with you.

The recipe calls for a package of sugar cookie mix. For some reason, I have had this box of Jiffy Sugar Cookie Mix in my pantry forever. It is a small box.

I used that, and added some graham cracker crumbs. The crumbs were so stinking good. I loved the texture it added.

The recipe has you use three egg yolks.

I thought the lonely little discarded whites should get used too.

I probably could have saved the whites for some nutritious/low cal egg burrito that I could eat and pretend that I like, but I opted instead to make a meringue top for the cheesecake.

Totally delicious.

Here is the recipe.

Remember, you can click on it to see it better, or you can right click it, save it, and print it out as a 4x6 photo.

Either way, you are probably going to want to change into your own robe before you make this.

Belts are not going to be your friend.

A winner!

2011-11-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful comments!
My winner is comment number 44:

Sharyn said...
Who is Kandis Smith? ;)

Anyway - I rarely enter these, but man, love that Times and Seasons.

4:07 PM

So Sharyn, I need a snail mail addy, and Times and Seasons is yours!

Congrats!

shauntewadley@gmail.com

Echo Park and May Arts

2011-11-14T07:00:00.006-07:00

Welcome to the Echo Park/ May Arts Blog Hop. You are probably here via Kandis Smith.
You are right on track.

Listen up.
I know a whole bunch of you cringe when you see a scrapbook-y post on my blog.
But another whole bunch of you also cringed when you saw my hideous face pictures from the dentist.
So I guess I can't please everyone when I am documenting my life.
But I can give crap away, to maybe ease your visual burden.
Maybe this kit:

Or perhaps this one:

Or any of the kits you see on the Echo Park Paper website, which is HERE.

Just leave me a comment on this blog post, and tell me which collection you would like to get your hands on. I will draw a random winner next Monday, the 21st, who will get a free kit collection of their choice.

My personal favorite is an oldie, but goodie, (Country Drive) and the collection that I chose to make a layout using my new stash of ribbon from May Arts.

I said that all casual like- May Arts.
If you are crafty at all.
Or part squirrel, like me.
Or like pretty things.
Or just like to breathe oxygen...you need May Arts in your life.

This ribbon is not the stuff you find on spools at Walmart. (Sorry Offray.)
It is beautiful, thick, has great texture, and comes in deep, rich colors.
I cried a little inside when I cut it for my layout, I have enjoyed just rolling around in it.
Here is a layout I made:

First I want to point out, that the photo I used is from 2006. That little girl is 8 now, not 3, and I really miss her. She talks back now, and doesn't like to brush. Sigh.
I also want to point out the detail of the ribbon.

Can you see the pleated edge on the border?
It came like that.
For real.
I tucked half of the ribbon underneath the paper, and it made it look like I know how to sew.
Look at the puffy, fuzzy ribbon:

More puffy-fuzzy, and some velvet.
I told you there was texture!

It's the best part of my job, when I get to mix two really great companies.
Sort of like graham crackers (good) dipped in frosting (better).

And yeah, my diet isn't going well.

If you want to see what the other Echo Park designers have done with their May Arts goodness, the next stop on the Blog Hop is:
Wendy Sue Anderson

If you are lost, you can check:
Echo Park Blog
May Arts Blog
There are other giveaways to win!

Thanks for stopping by, and good luck!

I am so screwed.

2011-11-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

I thought I had until Easter to get my willpower under control.
Stupid Cadbury.

I might as well get out some duct tape, and strap the four bags I bought yesterday to my butt and thighs.
We all know that is where they are going to end up anyway.

Three wise suggestions.

2011-11-04T06:27:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I like to leave smashed bug carcasses on my bathroom mirror as a warning to other bugs.

And let this next picture be a warning to all humans:
Don't go to the dentist, and then afterward, go anywhere public.
I was planning on going to Costco, since our dentist is right there...

Yaaaaarrrr! Matey!

Seriously?
I had to have four shots.
I was numb from my chin to my eye.
MY EYE WAS NUMB.
When the kids saw me, they alternately stepped away in fear, and then laughed.
Then I saw myself, and I laughed so hard I cried (out of my good eye.)
Needless to say, I skipped Costco, and sped to the safety and concealment of my home.

I had Jayden take "Hurry and take some pictures!"

Why couldn't this have been Halloween?!

Don't worry, he didn't need to hurry.
I went in to the dentist at 2, and I was still numb in places when I went to bed at 10.
It was a long night.
And my third suggestion for the day is: get your camera back from your 15 year old when you ask him to take pictures, especially if you have a full bladder.

A Strangely Awesome Week.

2011-11-03T07:00:00.004-07:00

This is Shayne.

He is 12.
He is my nicest kid. He is a middle child, and always wants everyone around him to be happy.
He also can't find squat.

"Shayne, could you bring me the book I left in the family room?"
It could be the only thing in the whole room. Literally. The whole room could be empty, and that kid would still come back to you empty-handed.

"Shayne, can you put this in the fridge?"
And you will find it the next day, in the pantry.

I have thought about having him tested.
Except for the fact that he is pulling straight A's in school. So I don't think he is broken. Maybe just selectively broken...at home.
Very frustrating.
We would usually follow up his botched errand with a "what is wrong with (you) (your eyes)?"

We tease him about it now, since it is so seldom that he actually follows directions correctly, and has the good fortune to triumph!
He attempts...and then fails, and comes back to us, empty-handed, and slump-shouldered.
All we can do it laugh now.
So imagine my surprise, when the other day, he had a random success!
I believe in positive parenting, so I made him document his milestone on the family calendar.

We had another string of break-throughs this week, that I wanted to document on the calendar as well.
This is my husband.

(He even looks better-looking to me, after this week)

I came upstairs the other day, and Sam was quietly putting all our clean laundry away.

It didn't stop there.

Our dishwasher has been crapping out.
I know it is shocking, but we aren't the best pre-rinsers in this house.
I barely dare mention it to Sam, when the dishwasher is crapping out, because he is a fanatical pre-rinser.
And he judges us.
When he takes the dishwasher apart, he cleans out the filter, and the spinny thingie, and he SAVES ALL THE COLLECTION OF GUNK TO RUB IN OUR FACES.
Yep. Post-clean, there will always be a guilt tupperware on the counter.
Full of interesting things like:
Bread twist-ties
Pistachio shells
Broken glass
Barbie shoes
Earrings (YAY!)
Crusty Mystery Meat
Etc.
So anyway, the same week that he put the clean basket away, he also cleaned out the dishwasher.
Willingly.
And there was no tupperware.

Internets, it doesn't end here!

Sam works graveyard shifts, so I often leave him in bed when I get up for the day- then when he gets up in the afternoon, I make the bed.
(Or sometimes don't.)
But I am the official bed-maker, when it gets made.

No one saw this coming...but he also made the bed.
Voluntarily.
And put on all the decorative pillows...where they are supposed to go.

I found this strange...this string of events.
I was a little leery.

I did some sleuthing in our insurance records.
I wondered if maybe I had a terminal illness that I had forgotten about.
Or maybe...Sam was secretly transgendering into the woman I always wanted him to be?

Then, internets, the next one will blow your friggin' mind, as it did mine.
Without me asking or even suggesting, or hinting- he scrubbed the shower clean.

I am thoroughly embarrassed to have to admit to this back-story, but it must be told, for you to understand the magnitude of this final miracle in this string of events.
Our shower was gross.
It had that orange slime in the corners.
I knew I needed to get to it soon....it was just that I shower after I go to the gym.
Sometimes my arms are so tired I can't scrub.
And other times, my legs are so sore I cry when I drop the soap.
There just hasn't been a good time.
So I have resorted to showering without my contacts in, so I am blissfully unaware of how much worse it gets with each passing day.

Sam cleaned it. Spontaneously.

What is going on?!

I thanked him profusely for each thing.
I offered to...uh, "make him cookies", as a thank you, in the middle of the afternoon!
He said he was okay.
I had to brag to someone.

Sorry, but my husband wins this week!

Too bad for the rest of you.

Heads Up.

2011-11-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

I can't enter this thing, cause I am on their design team, but Lifestyle Crafts is doing insane giveaways this month. This week you can win a Canon 60D and the cutest camera bag ever:

Yep, that turquoise purse is a CAMERA BAG!

If you even *think* you are crafty, you need to get off the computer right now, and enter this thing.
Here are all the details:
I MADE THIS CONTEST

If you are local, you can sure as heck come borrow some of my dies.
I would love to see someone I know win this.

Yesterday was Halloween.

2011-11-01T10:56:00.003-07:00

My girls were the only kids in the family that were interested in dressing up this year.
I take that back.
Brendan also went out with friends to terrorize the neighborhood.
He made a half-assed effort to disguise himself.
He pulled out his felt mustache, and some leftover 3-D movie glasses. And a hat.
I didn't get a picture. Didn't really want one.
It was shameful.
My girls dug through our costume closet, and put together this:

What are they?
No one knows.
They just wanted ratted up hair.

I think it is in their DNA, the desire for "bangs to heaven."
They get that from me.
I rocked the 80's.

Rocked.

(With a little "all hail the AquaNet.")
The girls pulled in a lot of candy.
I gave out a lot of candy.
The theme for the evening was candy.

Internets, I have fallen off the wagon. Hard.

I have been very bad with the eating of the candy.
I have talked myself into thinking that candy can be "breakfast."
After all, Snickers contains peanuts, and peanuts are protein.
I ate so many candy corns Sunday night that I was literally sick.
But I kept eating...because the bag wasn't empty....and by golly! I am not a QUITTER!!

Internets, I have a problem.
The candy...it calls to me.
Even common household items are tempting me.

(Please tell me you also see a Hershey Bar and not just a calculator.)

I did the right thing, and went to the gym today.
I wasn't feeling it.
I had a banana, instead of Twix to "fuel" me.
Sugar lows are pretty sucky.
And then the (size 0) teacher started in on how "bad" she was...and I thought "oooh, I might be in good company!"
And she proceeds to confess that she had THREE whole fun-sized candy bars!
Well, shame on her.
I think she may have caught my eye about then, and I do tend to wear my emotions on my face.
She got a real good dose of "are you freaking kidding me," stink-eye with a side order of nose scrunch.
I refuse to be happy for the willpower of others.

She tried to back-pedal, and say she may have even had more...she is not really sure, cause she was so out of control!!

uh-huh. I bet.

So anyway, today, I am having a hard time, what with the candy wrappers all over the floor, and the leftover candy, and the trick-or-treat bags staring me in the face.

I am so happy that Thanksgiving is coming.
I might as well give up, and outfit myself in every color they make:

Belts are not going to be my friend until well after January.

Leaves, Candy, and Ideas.

2011-10-27T19:12:00.002-07:00

Fall came to Utah a couple of weeks ago. We took a drive up the canyon, and the trees were ablaze with color!
We hit it perfectly!
Last year we missed the "mother nature show" by a couple of days, and we were disappointed by brown, dried up hideousness.
I swear, in Utah, Fall is one week long, Spring is one week long, Summer is about 7 weeks, and the rest of the 43 weeks in the year belong to Winter.
Sometimes I hate it here.
Except when I see pictures of giant spiders and cockroaches and chiggers than live in other parts of the country.
Those kinds of things DIE! here because of our winters.
Hey man, I am trying to be positive here.

Here are my kids:
My rear end was literally shoved into a bush, up against a tree for this shot.
The things I do...

Jayden took this next shot. Yep. I have my hair in a side braid.

It's a little "polygamist-y" but I don't have to blow it dry with the hairdryer.

Leaves me more time for Pinterest.

I did a photo shoot the other day. The pictures looked like this:

And this:

So I could do some layouts that looked like this:

And this:

See how I can add my own dangling banner thingies?

I thought I was pretty cool to come up with that. It was, in fact, my only good idea this week.

The rest of my ideas have been very stupid.

Like the one where I bought two ginormous Costco bags of the good kind of candy for Halloween.

The kind with Twix, and Almond Joy, and Snickers.

(All my favorites!)

Then the idea I had to open the bag.

Then the idea I had that I could trust myself to eat just a couple...

(Every 15 minutes!)

Then the idea I had to step on the scale this morning.

And still talk Sam into taking me out to lunch.

(Let's just say I didn't get a salad)

And to strip all the beds in the house to wash sheets.

(Slave to the laundry room.)

I told you I had a whole butt-load of bad ideas!

But...I have also pinned a lot of good ideas on Pinterest.

Including this quote I found.

I made it pretty, using a free digital kit from Kara Henry.

(Thanks Kara!)

Just like my recipe cards, you can click on this image, save it, and print it as a 4x6 photo for yourself, or a young woman in your life who could use a little wisdom.

Have a safe and happy Halloween!
Don't come to our house.
We are almost out of candy.

Forgive my depressing ramblings...

2011-10-24T12:11:00.002-07:00

My grandpa Hunt passed away last week.

He was my last grandparent.
I have been in a funk since then.
I have had lots of rambling thoughts about it all.
I think the transition is what has made this passing so hard. Knowing that he is the last of "that generation" in my family and except for some sort of tragedy (knocking on wood) the next funeral Sam and I will attend will be for one of our parents.
And then we will be the ones putting the photos and memories together, writing down life sketches (how much do I really know?) , and trying to maintain some sort of composure, while feeling orphaned.
It sucks.

If I were to wish for an ideal way to die, my grandpa certainly nailed it.
He was kicked back in his favorite recliner, legs extended, ankles crossed, BYU blanket pulled up to his waist, and remote in his hand.
He fell asleep during the game, and woke up in a better place.
I joked that typical of a man, he tried to take that remote with him when he went, but reality is, he took nothing.

We take nothing.

That has been on my mind too.
Everything you work for in this life: a nice home, nice furnishings, a decent car, a gym-healthy body...
It all gets left behind.
You take your experiences, your education, and relationships: connections you have made.
It all seems so simple, and yet, so easy to forget that it works that way.
What really, truly matters.
You also leave behind a legacy of how you lived your life.

My grandpa was a huge advocate of temple work.
The day before he passed, he did three sessions.

After my grandma passed six years ago, I think the temple work kept him busy, and sane.
He missed her so terribly!
So he immersed himself in service to others, because that is how he was.

A humble school teacher, who loved his Father in Heaven and his family, and his fellow man. In that order.
He and my grandma somehow raised a family of ten children on a schoolteachers salary.
That man taught junior high for 25 years.

I have the pleasure of three junior high aged kids in my home this year.
Three of them.
I have been very close to taking up alcohol.

I am not sure how he did it, being around hormone-riddled kids all day long, but he loved it.
He said he loved the kids.
And that love was reflected in the number of former students who came out of the woodwork when he passed, expressing their love for him.
He touched a lot of lives.

When I think of my grandpa Hunt, I think of patience, and quietly doing the right thing, with no desire for recognition.

He was ready to pass on.
Can you imagine being ready to die?
I am scared...because clearly, I still have some work to do to feel ready to meet my maker.
That has been another thing on my mind.
The legacy I am leaving behind.

What will my family remember me for?

The final gift my grandpa gave me was a new perspective on my own life.
I feel like I have been living in neutral.
Not a bad person, but not a person who is making an effort to be better.
I am pretty content to be sitting on the fence, and happy to be lazy.
I am not saying that tomorrow I am going to be joining up with the Peace Corps, but there are definitely changes that need to be made.
I am ready to make them.
I have people on the other side that I would like to be proud of me when they venture a peek down.
People that need to know that I remember their lives, and want to live like they did.

“What a wonderful thing is death, really, when all is said and done. It is the great reliever. It is a majestic, quiet passing on from this life to another life, a better life. I’m satisfied of that. We go to a place where we will not suffer as we have suffered here, but where we will continue to grow, accumulating knowledge and developing and being useful under the plan of the Almighty made possible through the Atonement of the Son of God”
(President Gordon B. Hinckley at the funeral services for Robert G. Wade, Salt Lake City, Utah, 3 Jan. 1996).

My Recipes

2011-10-21T15:41:00.004-07:00

For a long time, cooking something would require me to thumb through a three-foot stack of dog-eared and batter-splattered recipe books, magazine clippings, and printed pages.
I could quickly find the recipes that were in rotation the most, but to try to find my seasonal recipes, or my lesser-used recipes took some time. And frustration. And usually I just gave up, or called my mom or my sister for the recipe.

About two years ago, I started to dabble in creating things digitally in Photo-shop.
I made a simple template for a recipe card.
I have saved the digital file, and now, whenever I try a new recipe, and my family approves of the recipe, I copy and paste the ingredients and cooking directions right into the digital template.
It is sized as a 4x6 photo, so then I can just send that sucker over to Costco to print as a photo, and then slip it into my recipe book.

My "book" is a 100 (double) page photo album.
I got it at Walmart for 2 bucks.
Gone are the recipe books that I kept around for two recipes!
Nice to have everything in one place.

I mention this for two reasons.
One: so you guys will think I am cool. And organized. And awesome.
And two: because occasionally I share recipes on my blog, and I want you to realize that you can right-click on the image, save it, and you too can print it, as a 4x6 photo.

Now, if you feel so inclined, I wanted to also share with you my file that I use to create new recipe cards.
You can download it (for free) here:
RECIPE BLANK
When you open it in Photo-shop, you will have the option of changing out the background on the recipe cards. If you need me to walk you through that, just shoot me an e-mail.
I won't think your questions are silly.
I taught myself Photo-shop.
And I am seriously challenged.

Fall is in full swing here.
Our apple tree dropped a load of apples.
I don't mean to brag, but our apple tree has the best tasting apples ever.

It is a Jonathan tree. It didn't used to be.
We have a neighbor that lived kitty-corner from us.
One day they asked us if we would be willing to plant an apple tree in our yard, so it could cross-pollinate with theirs? They brought us the tree.
We planted it.
And then I realized they bought us a Red Delicious apple tree.
Red Delicious apples are the worst.
They are always tasteless and mushy.
I dug that tree out in the middle of the night, and replaced it with our Jonathan.
I felt so dirty...trading the tree our neighbors gave us. I was young.
That neighbor moved.
Now that tree is giant. And NOT a Red Delicious.
So glad I didn't stick with the crap tree.

I have been dehydrating apples, and making apple-y things.

Let it be known, that I strongly dislike cooked fruit of any sort.
But these two recipes I am sharing are not too bad, in spite of the fact that they are cooked apple based.
The first one uses cream cheese.
Honestly, I would eat anything with cream cheese.

And this last one, is in case you have escaped apple season without feeling the need to do something with a bazillion apples...may I present Peanut Butter Fudge. I have shared it before, but not as a recipe card.
It goes well with apples.
Just not Red Delicious.

Also, since this is the first time I have shared a down-loadable file, someone needs to be a guinea pig, download it for me, and let me know if it works on your end.

Here's the punch-line: "Hobby Lobby."

2011-10-04T06:00:00.002-07:00

That place is a joke.
I am not sure if you have one in your neck of the woods, but I need to just show you their ad, if you haven't yet had the pleasure.

Can you read that?
Yeah, well neither can anyone else.
I swear. I need reading glasses, and a Red Bull to get through the thing.
I fall asleep after the second text-crammed little box.
But it doesn't end there....no, it does not.
Because the employees and management of my Hobby Lobby leave the whole thing up for their own personal interpretation.

Take for instance the day I went in when "Photo Frames" were all 50% off.
I took a long time picking my frames out.
I took my frames up to the checkout.

Let me interrupt myself here for a minute to explain that, every time I have gone into the store, there has been one checker working, and a line practically back to the fabric. I figure that is on purpose. The line winds itself through all the knick-knacks, and a few things I DO NOT NEED always fall into my damn cart.

So I make it to the holy grail....the cashier, and she starts hand-keying in all of my items.
Some of which, I notice, are not 50% off.
"Hey, Carol" I say, noticing her name-tag, "according to your ad, all of your photo frames are supposed to be 50% off."
"Yes" says Carol, "but this is not a 'photo frame' this is a 'picture frame.'"
"Whaaaaat?"
And she further explains that a photo frame has an easel on the back of it,while clearly a picture frame does not, and is meant to hang on a wall, and therefore is not 50% off.

She said all this, in that smug tone of voice that you would use on moron.

"Silly me!" I said, "I dun thought 'photo frames' were them things that ya jest stuck yer pitchers in!"
I made Carol call a manager over.

I told him how ridiculous and misleading the ads were, and that it doesn't specify the type of cock-eyed BACKING as a means of dividing "frames" into specific categories.
He gave them all to me for 50% off.
Reluctantly.
"This time only!" he said. And stormed off.
The next week, the "picture frames" were 50% off anyway.

So, I had been watching the ads for a certain item to go on sale.
And last week it did.
I don't buy many things for scrapbooking, since I have a stash that would make a hoarder blush.
But I wanted these self-adhesive Rhinestones and Pearls.
Remember, I am part squirrel. Shine and sparkle are in my genes.
So the ads rolls out, and I notice that "All Paper Studio Embellishments: 50% off!"
So I hit the store on Monday morning, cause last time they went on sale, all the other squirrels in the valley beat me to the store and cleaned the shelf out.
Here is what they look like:

I brave "the line" again.
With my four packages of bling.
I get to the cashier, and find that she does not ring my bling in for 50% off.
What gives?
I am starting to feel personally targeted.

"Your ad says that all Paper Studio embellishments are 50% off."
"Oh, these? These are not embellishments, these are stickers."

Internets, I feel like I am well-versed in what an "embellishment" is, and I also darn well know what a "sticker" is.
I have been scrapbooking since 1996, when all that we had to choose from was Mrs. Grossmans, Paper Patch, and deco-edged scissors.
Just in case, though, let's check the dictionary, shall we?

noun

1. an ornament or decoration.

So Hobby Lobby can kiss my butt.

I brought the manager over again.

He argued, I argued.

He finally caved, even though I have the sneaking suspicion that he remembered me from "Framegate 2011."

Do I feel vindicated?

No.

It is not like I am trying to pull a fast one.
Or even trying to get something that is NOT supposed to be on sale. I am reading their stupid poorly laid out ad, and playing by their nonsensical rules, and I have never yet had a smooth transaction.

I feel exhausted after every trip.

I will never shop there again!! (shakes fist!)

(See ya tomorrow, you evil squirrel catcher.)

This week should be a good week!

Just look what is on sale!

And open to all kinds of sales-person interpretation!

I am blaming Walmart.

2011-10-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

I know.
Two posts within 24 hours.

Don't get used to this type of frequent posting, but today I just have to vent.
We just had General Conference weekend.
For my non-LDS friends, every six months, we have "pajama Sunday." (<--my term, not a church term.) It is where our prophet and church leaders broadcast messages, and we watch it on TV.
It is my favorite.
The messages are always inspiring, as is the dress code, and the junk food.

I like to have a project to do, to keep me occupied.
This weekend, I decided to paint the master bedroom.
Sam even volunteered to help, which was a Christmas miracle, in and of itself.
I decided to paint the room the same color I painted our downstairs.
It is a nice neutral brownish/greenish depending on how the light hits it.
It is called Lyndhurst Mushroom:

Weird.
That doesn't look like the color it is.
I think my computer monitor is jacked.
Anyhoo...I looked up the color number, and went to Lowe's to get the paint chip.
I planned on taking the paint chip to Walmart to get their Kilz paint.
I really like Kilz. It is one coat goodness.

Well the number online didn't correspond to the number in the store, of course, so it took a minute to find, but eventually I did. (Important to note.)

Took it to Walmart.
Well lo and behold! Walmart no longer carries Kilz brand, but replaced it with Glidden.
The little paint guy swears it is the same quality and thick goodness as the Kilz.
It is not.
Definitely not.

But that is not my vent for the day.
I hand him the paint chip. He then proceeds to try to find the paint number on his little machine to match it.
He can't find it.
I told him the numbers had changed and don't match up.
I told him three times.
He was like one of my kids.
Cocky, and no way is he going to listen to me.
He then explains that he can just scan the paint chip and get it "pretty accurate."
"Dude," I say, "I can't do "pretty accurate" because I have some touch-ups to do, and I need it SPOT ON."
"Please try this other number."
"I already looked up this paint, the computer doesn't have it" he said.
I shove the number at him.
He looks it up, and it pulled up. Huge shocker.
So the paint gets mixed up, and I leave happy.
(As a side note, Mikayla asked the paint guy for several stirring sticks, because she thought of "a project.")

The next day, I paint. Sam helps. Our room looks so pretty.
I take my little trimmer cup full of paint, and a brush, and happily go to town on the downstairs level, touching up spots.
Furniture ding! Gone!
Nail hole! Disappears!
Possibly a booger! Goodbye!
I felt like a fairy, swiping my foam wand, and making alllllll the imperfections disappear.
It was better than wiping the walls down. Scrubbing walls is for suckers!

So this morning, this is what I woke up to.

And this:

And more:

Awesome.

Mini-Me.

2011-10-02T22:23:00.004-07:00

When you ask Mikayla what she wants to be when she grows up, she will tell you she wants to be "a scrapbooker."
Aim high.
I know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
And really, she just wants to be crafty like her mama.

She is my constant companion in the studio.
She gets just as excited about new product boxes landing on the porch as I do.
And the girl is creative, I will give her that.

I never, ever want to squelch her desire to create.
That being said...how much crap can one house hold?
Last week, I bought her a box of 1,000 craft sticks.
They were gone in two days:

Also a whole bag of hot glue sticks.

And this bad boy is about four feet tall, in real life:

Is is a bat?

These weren't the only projects she painstakingly crafted.
Oh no.
These were the projects that we couldn't sneak into the trash without being noticed.
Now before you get all "my mom" and "judge-y" on me.
The girl has been cranking out crafts...large-sized crafts, for about six years now.
There is only so much room!
She ran out of wall space in the studio, and started on the ceiling.

There are billions of these streamers!
They are kinda cool, until you are busy crafting one night, minding your own business, at 2am, cause you procrastinated a deadline....and a couple of swirly ceiling streamers spontaneously crash to the floor.
You better not have a full bladder when that happens.
I also want to note, for the record, that this girl went through an entire 500 sheet ream of colored copy paper in six days.
I thought the colored copy paper would be cool to have, to run off some of my own stuff.
500 sheets, that basically went into the trash after they were "used up" by Mikayla making things.
Internets, I am torn.
Here is her bedroom door:

How much weight can a door hold?
How much tape can the paint take?
I am not a picky house-keeper. I believe a house should be lived in. But her bedroom is right off of a main area?
Like I said, I have never remotely discouraged this girl from her projects, and I don't really want to, but I am reaching that point of cracking.
Little messes everywhere.
Constantly being out of supplies.
Having nowhere to store the latest masterpiece.
I am going to have to come to some sort of happy medium. Soon.
This last week was bad.
She discovered toothpicks.
And the apples from our tree in the yard.

She made many hedgehogs, and blow-fishes, and suns.

HAVE YOU STEPPED ON A LEGO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
Yeah, well....try one of these!

I need advice.
And podiatry-atric toothpick removal.

Help.

Core'dinations + Spellbinders = LOVE.

2011-09-28T05:00:00.003-07:00

You guys know that I do design work for a handful of companies, right?
Well, this past week, Core'dinations has teamed up with Spellbinders.
I got to create some projects using Spellbinders dies, and cardstock from Core'dinations.
Both companies are doing giveaways, as well as showcasing projects both design teams created, on their blogs.

Today is my day to participate.

I did a layout, that may already be on the Core'dinations blog, I stuck it here too, just in case.
Then I am sharing with you, one of my favorite secrets.
A tutorial on mass-producing little treat bags.
Seriously, it is a great way to use scraps, and if you make the treat bags with wrapped hard candies (that aren't going to go bad, or get teeth-breakingly hard,) you can keep a bunch of them on hand, for quick thank you's, or "holy cow I forgot it was her/his birthday."

Here are the Blog Hop details:

Welcome to the Core'dinations and Spellbinders Blog swap!!! Are you ready for a week long blog swap filled with loads of inspiration? Well, you came to the right place. Spellbinders and Core'dinations have teamed up and created gorgeous projects just for you. But...a blog swap wouldn't be the same without give-a-ways, right?

Core’dinations will be giving away FOUR paper packs in total!!!

Here is how you can win:
1. Visit the Core’dinations blog and leave a comment every day, Monday the 26th through Friday the 30th. We will give away two packs to TWO lucky winners.
2. Like us on Facebook and comment to win a paper pack.
3. Visit the Core’dinations Designer’s blogs and leave a comment. We will be linking them up on the Core’dinations blog throughout the week and will choose one random designer’s blog to pick a winner.

Make sure you visit the Spellbinders blog for more details on how to win some of their awesome dies.
CORE'DINATIONS BLOG
SPELLBINDER'S BLOG

Here is what I created. (You can click on it, to make it bigger, and see more detail.)

Here are the supplies I used:

I used these Spellbinders dies.
Labels Twenty-Three SKU: S4-347
Butterflies Two SKU: S3-146
Nested Ice Cream Cones SKU: S4-275

I also used these Core'dinations cardstocks:
Core Impressions Basic Grey Whimsy Collection (Green, Pink, Yellow)
Core Essentials (Purple, White and Blue)
Core Vintage Collection (Ice Cream and Cone)

The Spellbinders Ice Cream dies came in three different sizes, to be layered if you would like to.
The label dies are graduating sizes too.
I love the graduated sizes for the label dies, they make it so simple to make treat bags.
They come like this:

The finished treat bag looks like this:

I chose the largest label die, and cut out a pink label.
Then I chose the next largest die, and cut out a dark gray label.
The dark gray cardstock is from the Core'dinations Vintage collection. It already looks "canvas-y."
I inked the edges of the label, and THEN I sanded it. It made a really cool edge on the label.

The next step is folding the labels in half.
The easiest way to do this, to get an even fold, is to line the die up on your paper trimmer, so the "fold" is running right down the gutter of your trimmer (where the blade would normally slide.)
Then you can use a bone folder, or embossing tool, to just run a line down the gutter where you want the paper to fold. In this case, I have turned my label over, so the fold will be on the inside.

I filled my treat bag with candy, and folded the top down.
Then I took the largest folded label, and lined it up across the top of the bag and stapled that sucker shut.
If the treat bag is hanging out of the side of the label, and it bugs you, you can tuck it under, and use a bit of adhesive to stick it there.
You can also fold the labels in half length-wise, if you would like to top a large-sized (think sandwich-sized) bag.

Staples=Ugly.
We are going to cover them up.
Take the smaller sized label, and layer it over the pink label.

Then add whatever embellishments you would like.
I stuck with the ice cream die.
I made the "drip" of the ice-cream on the treat bag, and also my layout, by cutting a heart in half.

Notice the cardstock dust...:)

This is where it is easy to mass-produce these things.
Crank out a bunch of those labels.
Depending on the thickness of your cardstock, you can cut two, and sometimes three labels at one time.
You can use up any scraps you have.

You could also bag up gift certificates, instead of candy, to have on hand for a quick present.

The back side of the treat bag is blank.
You could easily personalize the treat bag by writing a message on the blank label in back.
Pretty sweet!
You know what else would be sweet?

If you won a prize from this hop.

Head over to the Core'dination blog, and the Spellbinder's blog, (links above) and give it a go!

Don't Panic.

2011-09-26T13:14:00.006-07:00

But it is Christmas in three months from yesterday!!!
Bah.
I have been working on Christmas projects for Echo Park paper co.
Can't say that it is making me want Christmas to come.
I am on Team Grinch when it comes to Christmas.
I am more of a July 4th, kinda gal.
Warm weather, no-stress (on me) entertainment, what with the fireworks and all.
Sam mans the BBQ grill...
Nice and relaxing.
Christmas, however, turns me into an anxiety-ridden hag.

Echo Park paper is releasing two Christmas lines.
Because, I guess other people *like* the holiday.
I decided to do some home decor projects this time around.
Last Christmas, I was so sick of looking at most of my raggedy holiday decorations that I threw a lot of them out.
And I know I am going to be too cheap to buy more.
So I will wait until they clearance them out, and then I will be decoration-less during the holiday, and only able to purchase the leftover, fugly decorations that no one wanted.

Here is the first thing I made:
It is a tree, which I felt need clarification, for some reason.

(Photo removed for publication)

This was made with the paper kit "Holly Jolly Christmas."
It is a fun, funky Christmas line.
I cut out all the leafy shapes with my Silhouette, and then hot glued them all onto a cardboard form I purchased at Hobby Lobby. The form stands about 22" tall. I did all that while watching the Kardashians.
Why can't Kourtney see what a dink Scott is?
This next item up for viewing was made from the "Dots and Stripes" collection.
I folded up all those 3D stars while watching another trashy show, cause Kardashians was over by then.

(Photo removed for publication)

This is one of those "looks better in real life" projects.
It doesn't photograph well.

Much like it's creator.
(Eating marshmallows toasted while sluffing Stake Conference.)

And the last project I wanted to share started out as a humble thrift store find.
A lot of crafty people are altering printers trays into home decor items.

Printers trays are pricey.
I was pretty excited to score this at the thrift store.
It used to be a case for wooden paper dolls.
This is the back of the box.
And the next picture is a google image of what the original box looked like, full of dolls.

The dolls were gone, and the wooden sectioned box was sitting on a shelf, and marked two bucks.
Score!
So with some mod podge, and some "Season's Greetings" Echo Park paper and embellishments, I turned it into this:

It is pretty big, and I am happy that it will be taking up a lot of wall space during the holidays.

The photos I used of the kids are pretty old.
Even if it was below zero, and those Santa hats would be the only things keeping my kids from losing their ears to frostbite, I still COULD NOT get them to wear them for me again.

I loved them so much when they were little.

Now they just make me feel stupid, and like a drug lord that deals in sugared, cold cereal.
And works for free.
Here are a couple of close-ups to show detail better.

I felt like this project turned out alright!
A lot of the stuff I do, looks to me like a home-making project gone slightly wrong.

Tampon Angel

"Fair" Warning

2011-09-19T12:40:00.002-07:00

Occasionally, when I have a blog post in my head, I am a little hesitant to post it.
I know there are certain people that read my blog that get uncomfortable with some of my subject material.
We have covered it before, but you need to know, that on the inside...I am a 12 year old boy.
That being said, this post is going to be about The State Fair and What I Found Amusing, and there will be talk of balls.

Fair warning.

(Pun intended.)
I also want to state for the record that in spite of the fact that our family deliberately sluffed Stake Conference: (I was not inclined to showing up 1/2 hour early, to sit in a packed echo-y gymnasium next to the lady who rolls out a carpet race-track and a shoebox full of hot wheels to entertain her unrestricted kids. Yes, that happened last year. And yes, that is my justification for not going.) we instead chose to drive up the canyon and enjoy God's creations.
And perfectly toasted marshmallows.

Hey man, I have already done my visiting teaching for this month.
Go ahead and look at the calendar.
It is not the 30th.
For my non-Mormon friends, all you need to know is that given the choice between the cool breezes of exhalation, and the fiery flames of hell...I am sitting right on the fence, in the middle.

So, onto the State Fair.

We chose a Saturday, and it was nice and overcast.
When you first walk in, there was this:

Some salmonella, right off the bat.
Nothing like a Car-B-Q.
Chickens on a spit, right where people can, uh...spit.
Pass.
But the food-borne illnesses are not all that attracts folks to the State Fair.
There are first class performers, from all over the globe.
Take for instance the Seal Show.
All the way from Tallahassee, Florida!

I am not sure what kind of pansy-ass seals they have in Florida, but this show was shut down shortly after we got there.
The reason?

It started to rain.

Our nice overcast day, started pouring on us.
I guess that rain is dangerous for seals.
That, and the wet started to make old yellow pants a little see-through.

We took cover.

Hoping it would blow over.
We finally gave in, and went inside some of the side-show buildings and tents.
The one closest to us housed some random taxidermy.
First rate taxidermy, might I add.
I call this little guy "Beaver, Beaver, Broken-Finger."

You can see why:

This next picture cost me $1.00 to take.
My kids are getting too old to voluntarily subject themselves to photographic humiliation.
They want cold, hard cash.

Off to the animal barns! And really, the only reason I insist we attend the State Fair every year.
First off, the sheep.
And what sheep they were!

A different angle for your viewing pleasure.

And while the children and I giggle hysterically, Sam usually acts disgusted, and walks several paces in front or behind us.
Here are some puff ball bunnies, but I mostly added the photo so you could see the grin on Brendan's face.
(This was right after that astounding sheep pen.)
He is my son.
Through and through.

Here is the poultry pen.
Sam has this thing for birds.

He thinks he can talk to them.
He sucks his teeth, and does these little chirping sounds.
And he thinks WE are weird for being fascinated by giant balls?
Please...

Speaking of strange.
I think the fair is where the carnival people go on the off-season.

You can get your teeth whitened.
Professionally.
In a canvas tent.

Next to these guys.
Selling glass tchotchkes.
Tchotchkes are another word for:
gewgaws
knickknacks
or tacky trinkets.
Otherwise known as "things my children beg me for, and then promptly break five paces from the vendor, thus causing the child to blame a sibling for the demise of the treasured item."

The fair is prime people watching.
There was this guy, the WTH of the State Fair 2011.

And this random guy, who was not part of any side show that we saw.
Just walking the Fair with his herd of poop-bag wearing geese.

The back of his shirt was spray-painted with the word "Coach."
We couldn't find any sort of connection for that.
I am pretty sure he also drives an ice cream truck.

The only food we indulged in was deep fried Twinkies.
Other food options were:
Deep fried Snickers.
Deep fried Oreos.
Deep fried Kool-Aid (you got me on that one.)
And the pièce de résistance: Deep fried BUTTER.
For reals.
Someone thought it would be cholesterolically possible to deep fry a cube of butter, and eat it on a stick.
Now, I am the first person to admit that toast to me, is just a vehicle for melted butter, but people....really?
Deep.
Fried.
Butter.
Here is our little family group shot:

And see the sign in the background for the "Giant Gator?"
Sam forked out the 75 cents a person to go see it.
I opted to wait outside.
He said it was the best money he has ever spent.
I don't want to spoil it for you, in case this side-show ends up at your State Fair.
The kids said it resembled a dusty sleeping stuffed animal that may or may not have been attached to an extension cord.

I put my foot down when Sam broke the wallet out for the "Giant Snake Lady! Half Woman, Half Hideous Reptile!"
He sulked all the way home.
I am using the hope of seeing the snake lady as fodder to get him to take me back the the fair next year.

Always a good time had by all.

Mini-album made from a dollar store compact: Tutorial

2011-09-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, I created this mini-album out of a powder base compact I picked up from the Dollar Tree. I still carry this thing in my purse. It has held up well, and the mirror is pretty handy to have too.
I have had several people ask me where I got it.
When I tell them that I made it, and that it was easy, they give me a courtesy smile and walk away.
Really, guys, it is easy.
I am re-posting my original post that I did for Mother's Day on the Quickutz blog, here, on my blog.
If you get working on this now, you could have them ready for Christmas!

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching, and I thought I would share an inexpensive project with you. This project would be perfect as a gift for the special women in your life, or as a gift for yourself on Mother’s Day.

I started with a mirrored compact that I found at the dollar store.

I used an awl to chip out the make-up, and actually with this compact, the makeup portion came completely out in a metal tin. I then washed and dried the compact. (And realized I would have never made it as a hand model.)

Next I gathered my supplies:

Nested Circles CC-SHAPE-14-024
Nested Flowers CC-SHAPE-088-5
Small Flowers RS-0005
Tab RS-0517
12x12 cardstock
Felt
Ribbon
Brads
Button

Cut a strip of your cardstock measuring 2.25" X 12".

Then, using your paper trimmer as a guide, measure every two inches along your 12” strip, and score the paper. I like to run my bone folder right down the gutter of my paper trimmer where the blade would normally run. This gives me an accurate measurement, and a clean score line.

You should end up with a strip containing six equal squares.

Cut the strip in half, in the middle.

Next, you will want your nested circle die. Choose the die that is almost the exact size of your project. Be very careful to position the circle die so it DOES NOT CUT THE SIDES of the folded strip. (The top and bottom of the strip will be cut.) Roll it through your die-cutting tool. Repeat with the other half of the folded strip.

Whoa, who needs a manicure? :-)

You will end up with two sections of (now rounded) paper.

Adhere the sections back together, over-lapping one full circle as shown.

Using a strong adhesive, glue the end of the section into the compact, making sure to line it up so the compact will close. I used E-6000 glue. It smells good. I love me some glue fumes!

Next, I gathered my photos. I had already sized my photos to a 2" x 2” square, though this is not necessary.

Choose a photo that will fit within the nested circle die that is one or two steps smaller than the die you used to cut the cardstock strips.

I found it helpful to use the sticky mat to hold my photos into position when I ran them through the die-cutting tool.

Adhere the photos to the circles. You could also choose to add journaling or decorate as you wish if you don’t have a whole bunch of rug-rats to squeeze into the album like I do!

Before you adhere the top photo, cut a tab from cardstock, and attach it to the top circle of the cardstock strip. This will make it easier for the recipient to pull the album out of the compact.

Go crazy and decorate your album up however you wish. You can use stars, flowers, butterflies--whatever! I chose a small flower. I am sure my boys don’t appreciate that, but it is for MY purse!

When you are finished decorating, tuck everything into the album, and make sure it still fits inside the compact!

Now we are going to decorate the top of the compact, and cover up the distracting brand name.
Grab your felt piece, and the middle sized nested flower die. You will need to cut two of the middle sized flowers, and one of the smaller size.

Take a section of ribbon, and loop it to create a “leaf”. Attach it to the bottom flower. I used a brad to make sure it held well.

Using your strong glue, adhere the bottom flower to the top of the compact. Then using hot glue (the other adhesive tended to soak into the felt) adhere the second flower to the top of the flower already on the compact. Slightly off-set the flowers.

Adhere the smaller flower, and your button.

You are finished! A cute mini-album that will hold up in any purse!

Now if I were giving this as a gift, I would probably include a card with a sentiment along the lines of “I couldn’t “make-up” a better mother/grandmother/mother-in-law than YOU!” to match the compact/make-up theme.

So long, motivation.

2011-09-12T21:27:00.001-07:00

Someone well-intentioned jerk of a friend sent me a Pinterest invite.
"I think you will like it," she said.
I do like it.

I now need a 12-step program.
I don't do any household chores.
(But I have pinned a lot of helpful cleaning tips!)
I don't cook dinner.
(But I have pinned a lot of recipes that look really good.)
I don't really even leave my rolling office chair.
Except to use the facilities.
In fact, if I can find a tutorial for it on Pinterest, then I bet I could make this chair a toilet, with some simple household items!

I pulled myself away for a bit to try a new recipe I found.
This Recipe=Successful, so I am sharing it.

Creamy Peanut Butter Fudge

Ingredients

4 cups white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 (12 oz.) can evaporated milk
1 (7 oz.) jar marshmallow creme
2 c. peanut butter (I used super chunky)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Grease a 9x13 inch baking dish.
In a heavy saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, brown sugar, butter and evaporated milk. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Turn down heat to medium and stop stirring it. Cook to a soft ball stage (about 7 minutes). In a mixing bowl, mix the peanut butter, marshmallow creme and vanilla. Pour hot mixture over the peanut butter mixture, and beat it with the mixer for a couple of minutes. Spread into prepared pan. Let cool before cutting into squares.

You should make some.
You should also like Pinterest.
Leave me a comment if you want an invite.

Misery loves company and all that.

My Studio: A Tour.

2011-09-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

I thought I would give you a tour of my studio today, whiile it is temporarily picked up.
Maybe you are wondering why I would be pretentious enough to call my scrap shack a "Studio?"
I dunno.
It just sounds more important.
Plus I have a desk name-tag leftover from my days as a loan officer, and a notary stamp,(that expired back in the 90's.) I feel qualified to work in "a studio" based on those merits alone.
I used to BE SOMEBODY!
You already know I have issues.
This is the view coming into the room:

The flooring is pergo, and it has really been a good thing. I spill paint on it, ink pads and drop scissors. The only time I have disliked it, was when I dropped a giant tub of brads. They gleefully scattered everywhere! I am still finding them under the baseboards.

This is my counter-top.
It was a remnant at the countertop place. Someone chose it to make a bar, and then changed their mind. We got it for pretty cheap. I liked the color. It is 4 feet wide, and eight feet long. Plenty of room on both sides of the counter for people to work, without crowding each other out.
Let's pretend it is clean.
My sewing machine is on the end of the counter.
I have to pull it out a bit when I sew, or else my layouts jam up against the window.

Always on the counter is my paper trimmer, an Epic die-cut machine, and that silver box.
The silver box is full of photos.

This is the view above the counter.
I have slat-wall on three of the four walls in the room. This area has shelving to hold my Letterpressing Stuff, and Xyron refills (top shelf) a basket with thread for the sewing machine, the black box holds miscellaneous journaling cards, and the end is my Xyron (all on the second shelf).
The silver bucket is full of delicious blingy rhinestone brads.
Sometimes I take it down, just to run my fingers through it.
Judge if you must.
It is the squirrel in me.
We will look at the third shelf better in a minute. Underneath the third shelf, the buckets hanging are tools that I use almost every time I scrap.
It is just convenient to take the buckets down, and have the tools at my fingertips.

This is to the right of the counter.
The tilt bins are full of sewing supplies, and miscellaneous bits. This is also the closet, with the doors taken completely off. We installed a countertop, and this is where I have my computer area, and more storage.

Here is the full view.
The bins on the upper shelf are full of cloth, felt, embossing powders, older sticker sheets, chipboard, extra photos, and to the far right, are where I store copies of magazines I have been published in.
The middle shelf is Quickutz-ville.
Quickutz changed their name to Lifestyle Crafts, I am still getting used to calling them that.
We will look at that junk closer in a bit.
To the left of the computer is my Silhouette machine.
To the right is my scanner, and printer. The hanging bucket holds rulers.
I like them close to be able to measure out journaling boxes for layouts.

This area is to the left of the computer closet.
The wall is covered with tilt bins. The bins are full of craft punches. I still use them. I bought all of the tilt bins on clearance when my scrap space was the size of a postage stamp and in the laundry room. At that time, they stored everything I owned.
My stash has grown a bit since then.
On the top of the bin wall, and at the bottom, I hung skirt hangers to display layouts.
To the left are scrap aprons.
Yep.
They were given to me by a manufacturer.
I never wear them, but they look cool.

Back to the computer closet. These are bins full of Lifestyle Craft dies. These are the border dies, embossing dies, and larger dies.

In the magnetic folders I have dies stored in categories (Christmas, Valentines, etc and whole alphabet sets.) In the binders are smaller (2x2, 4x4) dies. The basket on top has cutting mats.
See my official name tag thingie?
I work in a STUDIO.

This is my foot-stool.

This is what is currently on my chair, it is a box of product I got yesterday. I need to do projects with it. It is Christmas stuff. This is what designers do in August.
Work on Christmas.
And Valentines.
While it is 98 degrees outside.
I have a Pandora Christmas playlist.
It helps put me in the mood.

Here is some evidence of my Christmas in August.

And the little drawers behind Frosty? They are full of brads, buttons, and other small embellishments sorted out according to color. Mikayla helped me do that a few months ago.
It was tedious.
But so nice now-to just pull a drawer out when you need a certain color.

Back to the tilt bins, they open down.
Tilt.

On the far wall is my Expedit.
Best.
Purchase.
Ever.
I bought this sucker way before Utah even had an Ikea.
Bought it in Arizona, and drove it home.
It was a long story, but a good one.

The bottom row of baskets hold mini-albums, items I bought to alter, (photo frames, coasters, etc.) and the basket to the far left, is full of my leftover embellishments.
Like when I use a package of brads, and have a few leftover, or random bits.
This is the basket that my kids know they have free reign to use.

The second row has a few cubes designated to Core'dinations Cardstock, one of my companies now. I keep their cardstock separate from the cardstock rainbow above.

The best part?
I don't really know why I love them so much, but here are my swatch books.
They are little bundles of tiny samples of all of the paper Core'dinations makes.
They make me happy.
Of course it is handy to be able to reference the exact color when you are writing up instructions for a project, or referencing a certain collection.
But truth is, they are little, and cute.
I told you I had weird issues.

I keep all my patterned paper organized by manufacturer.

Here is the cardstock rainbow again.

The upper baskets are full of rub-ons, pockets/envelopes, chipboard, stickers, chalks/watercolors, and Thickers,

To the left of the Expedit, is the sink.
Above the sink is the adhesive wall.

Also above the sink, is my bin of vinyl rolls for the Silhouette. The tree covered bin thing is full of free standing stamps. The other pegs have gift bags and blank chipboard albums.
The shelf unit by the sink is full of scrapbooking magazines, and idea books.
Also my owner's manuals for all my shiz, and my design team contracts, and manufacturer catalogs.
On the top of the shelf is my label maker.
I love that thing.

Then, to the left of the window, is my bucket/embellishment wall.
I got the buckets in the dollar spot at Target.
The bigger ones weren't a dollar, they were $2.50.
In the white bin above the buckets are spray adhesive, etching cream (not itching cream) and glitter spray, plus other similar things that I use a lot.

Here is a close-up of the buckets. They are all labeled, so I can stay kind-of organized.
The buckets are easy to pull down, and it beats digging through big boxes or totes.

On top of the cabinet is a big fat drawer full of impossibly tangled ribbon.
I haven't figured out a better system that works for me.
I am not fussy enough to wind my ribbon on spools, or something cool like that.
I use the "dig and stuff" method for now.

The tote above the ribbon graveyard is full of unfinished card bases or weird cards I had to do for assignment. (Happy St. Patty's anyone?)
The pink box is full of finished cards, organized by event. (birthday, wedding, etc.)

Underneath the cabinet is storage.
Underneath the sink cabinet, is Mikayla's stuff.

Also always on top of the countertop is my inspiration journal.
Another pretentious title.
It is that red plaid notebook. I have been keeping it for about ten years.
When I find a random magazine clipping that I find inspiring for whatever reason, I tape it into the book. Then when I need an idea for a layout, card, or project, I can thumb through the book, and hopefully find something good.

Under the book is a slab of marble.
Handy for hammering eyelets or whatever.
The drawers underneath store hand-tools, extra paper trimmers, adhesives and cutting mats.

Here is inside the inspiration journal:

The drawers on the other side of the counter, are used for more storage.
I had the middle one custom made to be tall enough to fit bottles of craft paint.

The top drawer holds ink pads.
The bottom drawer holds all of my stamps.

Also underneath the counter are two giant totes.
One is full of patterned paper scraps.
The other is full of cardstock scraps.
Again, no organization here.
My kids know they can have free reign of these totes.
Ideally, if the scrap of paper is big enough to make a card out of, I will cut a card base, fold it, and add it to that card base box.
Most of the time.
I get lazy, though.

Over on this side of the under-counter...used to be a mini-fridge.
Sam made me take it out.
He said it was a waste of energy, and "who is too lazy to just go downstairs and get a drink?"
We got our July power bill.
I kinda saw his point.
I took it out, and it is sitting in the garage.
I might pull it back in, cause you know what? I AM too lazy to go all the way downstairs and get a drink.
So this tote is hanging out here.
Saving a spot for the fridge.
It is full of finished layouts, that I haven't put into albums.

And there you have it.
A tour of my scrap shack.
If you have any questions about anything, just leave them in the comments, and I will answer them there.
And if you are in the neighborhood, and want to hang out...I have four comfy rolling chairs.

If you don't mind walking downstairs for a drink.

My Birthday. Not the worst day ever.

2011-08-31T19:55:00.004-07:00

Since I know you have all been waiting in suspense, F-5ing my blog to see what happened on my birthday, I thought I would post it early, so we can all commence with the laundry, or whatever else is waiting.
I started out the day actually the night before.
My dad works a graveyard shift, and texted me "Happy Birthday" and a :) for good measure.
At 12:48 am.
Thanks Dad!
The true miracle there, is the fact that my Dad can even text...let alone text me a friggin' smiley face made out of punctuation.
Who knew?
Old dog/New Tricks, and all that.
And you need to know that my Dad has fingers that resemble polish sausages.
You have seen phone key-pads, right?
I am not sure how texting is possible for him, unless he has a pocket-fairy.

I got up and got the kids off to school.
(which still brings me great pleasure)
And then I went to the gym.
Yes I did.
I had a lot of plans for the day, and a full 100 percent of those plans involved food.
I went to a new Yoga class.
At one point the teacher wanted to "challenge" the advanced students.
We were shown "The Crane."

Then the teacher started showing us how we could dumb it down, and modify it.
I am not an advanced student.
I am not even that good at Yoga.
I went directly into "Child's Pose."
This is the Yoga version of curling up into a fetal position--you basically just give up, and hide your face.

I chose well, Internets.
Cause the guy next to me?
He gave it a real go with "The Crane" and face-planted right onto the hardwood floor.
He missed his whole mat and everything.
Not like that flimsy, rubbery piece of crap would have helped his poor beak, when all 220 pounds of him came tumbling down on it.
And that, my friends, is when I knew that the universe was starting my birthday par-tay.

Here is the condensed version:
Fine Lunch Dinery at Chick-fil-a.
I don't mess around on my birthday.
I know what I like.
I get what I like.
I wore the sash.
Sadly, it did not glean me any swag, but you know what?
It made me happy.
When you are ballsy slash stupid enough to wear a satin sash that says "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" you have to look like you are having! fun!

Random people would wish me well, and I would reply to them "Have fun on my day."

After lunch, we did a little shopping.
We hit Hobby Lobby.
Sam fist-bumped a four year old boy in the store, because they were literally the only males in that place.
Only half the store was on sale this week.
What is with that place?
"Home Decor 50% off!"
Fine print: only ceramic, resin, single hole wall hanging, made in India, festooned with feathers, formerly not on sale, or patterned after tacky hotel decor.
I don't get that place.
I have to go back next week, when the other half of the store is on sale to get the other thing I wanted.

Then we went and saw "The Help."
Internets, I read that book.
I did not cry.
But I guess my heart is a cold and dead thing without a moody soundtrack.
Sam and I both came out of the theater with headaches from trying really hard not to hold onto each other and sob.
I needed tissues.
I snotted all over my sash.

I need to back-track a bit, and let you know that prior to shutting my phone down in the theater, I texted my older kids and told them to clean the house while I was gone.
I knew they wouldn't.
They did.
I was already a little on the edge from holding my emotions in check at the theater...
Nothing says "I love you" to a mother like fresh vacuum tracks.

They helped me make my birthday treat.
My father in law brought me fresh raspberries yesterday, and I hoarded them for this:


Craptastic Camera-phone Photo

Raspberry Trifle Cake
1 (9 oz.) Angel Food Cake (tear into bite-sized pieces and set aside)

Filling:
2 (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
2 c. powdered sugar
Mix smooth, then add:
1 c. sour cream
1 t. vanilla
1/2 t. almond extract
Mix well, then fold into mixture:
2 c. cool whip (thawed)

Fold cake pieces into filling mixture, gently. Put mixture into a 9x13 pan. Add fresh raspberries to cover.
Prepare:
1 package of Raspberry Danish Dessert (as per package directions)
Pour over the top of the cake, and refrigerate until firm.

I made mine in layers in a trifle bowl.
The night is still young.

Sam told me he still has a present for me.
I have the sneaking suspicion it is in his pants.
(MONEY, you freaking pervs.)

All-in-all, not a bad day.

Tomorrow is MY BIRTHDAY!

2011-08-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

I think this sums up my sentiments pretty well. I edited it, for my more sensitive followers.

It is not too late, however, to buy me an expensive gift.
Laser hair removal?
Liposuction?
Pay off the orthodontist?
Fill my gas tank?

My tentative plans include lunching at Chick-fil-A, perhaps followed by a matinee.
Of my choice.
None of that "Cowboys vs. Aliens" crap that Sam usually talks me into.
I am living large!

I am also wearing this:

It is a sash. Like a beauty pageant winner would wear.
Shianne wore it on her birthday a couple of weeks ago, and got free swag.
I do realize that I am turning 39, and not 12.
I am still gonna give it a whirl.
You have no pride at 39 anyway.

I will report back.

Back to School!

2011-08-29T10:33:00.005-07:00

Alternately titled "Mom Christmas."
And here is where I should insert a traditional photo of my beloved offspring: dressed in stiff new jeans, tags barely yanked off, anxious smiles, encumbered with a supply-laden backpack...
But I haven't taken their photos yet.
Why?
Because we haven't gotten a (successful) routine down.
The kids were so excited to start school, they got up before the birds.
I am pretty sure the reason for their excitement, was that we bought them Jimmy Dean Breakfast Croissants to eat for breakfast.
Priorities, people.
Who doesn't want to wake up to microwaved, greasy carbs?

That was last week.
This week, they sort-of crashed and burned.
The New Schedule wasn't so exciting, and after they saw all of their friends again, and realized that aside from an occasional new haircut, nothing had changed much since last year, it wasn't so fun anymore.
For them.
For me, however, still fun.

Tears of joy!

Very fun.
All the kids are out the door by 7:45.
And I have the rest of the day to do whatever I want!

I am trying to find a new schedule for myself.
So far this consists of trying new classes at the gym, that start earlier, so I can get that exercise crap over with.
Some days I have done two classes in a row!
Those are also the days, I come home, eat myself a Jimmy Dean, and go back to bed.

Hopefully we will all figure it out by next week.
Clearly, we were not people cut out for change.
Or low cholesterol.

Echo Park and Tombow Adhesives

2011-08-23T14:04:00.004-07:00

When I was asked to do some projects featuring Tombow Adhesive, it was like the mother ship was calling me home.
In all my years of crafting, Tombow has been a staple for me.
It would be like the Universe asking me to promote sleeping in late, or hot showers.
A no-brainer for me.
In fact, when people walk into my studio, they notice three things:
My supply buckets:
(Cause they are cute!)

My rainbow of cardstock:
(So pretty!)

And my adhesive wall:
(It looks like a STORE in here!)

You can see I am quite partial to Tombow. Every single time I go to the craft store, I throw in a re-fill for my Mono-Adhesive dispenser. I ran out once, at midnight, and vowed it would never happen again!

Although they didn't send me any in my swag bag...I also really, really like their Mono Multi Liquid Glue.

This stuff sticks like nothing else. A little goes a long way, and it dries clear. Winning!
One of these days, I will post some photos of my studio.
That would require me to clean it, and right now it is a pit.

Anyway, today I wanted to focus on Tombow Foam Pads, and Mono Clear (vellum) Adhesive.
First of all, I can not craft without Foam Pads. In other brands, called Pop-Dots or Dimensional Adhesive.
I really like dimension in my projects, and popping elements off of my page or card.

Tombow Foam Pads come in two sizes per package, which is nice, because other brands only have one size, and those foam pads are harder than heck to cut down to a smaller size. They stick like crazy to scissor blades.
I started my layout using this sheet of paper from the Echo Park Happy Days collection.

Ordinarily I have a hard time using these border type pages.
They seem flat to me, and pictures feel like they are just floating aimlessly.
I decided to create a frame out of the border, then I could tuck items inside the scalloped border, and kinda ground them. (I have weird crafting issues.)
I cut the outside "frame" and using Tombow Foam Pads, I adhered the frame to another sheet of paper from the kit.
I used the foam pads every few inches.

After I adhered the "frame" I added my photo, and additional elements to the inside of the frame.

I wanted to also showcase vellum on this project.
That's right.
Vellum.
Hey, man. I know that stuff is "old school" but you know what? I like it. I like the transparent quality of vellum, and that it doesn't over-power things. It is subtle. Like parsley.
I predict vellum making a come-back.
Like neon off-the-shoulder sweatshirts, and the Mullet.

The problem with vellum in the past, was how to adhere it to things. It is kinda slick and resists adhesive, and since it is see-through, it was a bugger to find adhesive that didn't show.
Enter Tombow Clear Adhesive.
I dare you to find the adhesive.
You can't see it. Not at all.

I wanted to show you the other size of foam pads too, perfect for smaller items.

Like that flower center.
Ignore the hand model, who clearly needs lotion.
The finished layout:

And since I had my vellum stash out, I decided to quickly make a card.
We have had a lot of weddings lately.
I am out of wedding cards!
I had to use a sympathy card for the last one.
In fairness, the card said "Thinking of you, in this difficult time." I was able to pick off the "in this difficult time" part of the card. Although maybe it would have applied...
I used some paper from the Echo Park Victoria Gardens kit.
It is perfect for more elegant projects.
Here is my card:

The vellum added a subtle touch. I die cut the letters, and then embossed them. My handy-dandy Tombow Mono Clear adhesive worked wonders. Even with the uneven surface the embossing gave the letters.

So, in short.
Tombow. I love you.
I have always loved you, and I don't see us breaking up in the near future.
Maybe we can marry?
I already have a card.

It's a winner!

2011-08-20T10:23:00.002-07:00

I have a winner for the Blog Hop!
To see if you won any of the prizes given away by Echo Park or The Twinery, go here:
THE TWINERY
(Make sure you go over there anyway. They have a really cute free download for everyone!)
Before I announce my winner, I need to talk about my bathroom scale.

I am a slave to my scale.
When I brave stepping onto it, it determines my whole day.
If my weight is up higher than I would like...I think to myself "Forget it. I am already UP, I might as well eat those Oreos."
And when my weight is down, I think to myself "I totally deserve those Oreos."
I may have issues.

So this morning, I stepped on the scale, and it registered 0.0.
Huh.
So I replaced the batteries, and stepped on it again.
0.0.
We have a winner!
I like it.
I tapped it, and the numbers started to spin, like roulette, and ended at 299.4.
NOW I know that stinking thing is totally broken.
It needs to be retired!
I tried it again, the numbers spun, and settled at 0.0 again.
And again.
I might keep that sucker around.
Sometimes a girl needs a good number.
And that *is* the lowest I have ever been!
I deserve Oreos.

You know who else deserves Oreos?
You guys!
Double Stuffs, even!
And especially Jen H! Who said:

Jen_H said...: Love the LO and the cards were adorable too! You made me tear up! My youngest of three just started kindergarten and I am home all alone now. Miss them being younger. TFS and for the chance to win! I love the country drive collection and would love to get my hands on it! ~~Jen H~~ jholton0503atyahoo
11:44 AM

Jen, I sent you an e-mail, so check your spam folder.
With a name like "Shaunte," that is where my e-mails usually end up, and hang out.
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Sincerely,
She Who Weighs 0.0.

IDAHO: serenity now.

2011-08-19T15:24:00.004-07:00

Any Seinfeld fans out there? (Serenity now!)

Also anyone popping in here from the Blog Hop, can scroll down, or click the direct link to my blog hop post:
HERE.

We just got back last night from a little trip with my extended family--my parents, and most of my sisters, and their families.
It was just what I needed.
Ever since Sam started working for an airline, we have traveled to a lot of really cool destinations.
Warm sand beaches, humid jungles, architecture rich with history...
My kids have been exposed to different cultures, climates, and experiences.
It seems though, that we all love Idaho best.
Yep.
Idaho.
Not the Eiffel Tower, or the gold souks of Dubai.
A humble log cabin in a small town (population 236!) in Idaho.

I have been coming to the cabin since my childhood.
Prior to the cabin being built, we would camp in tents on the same property.
It holds many memories for me.
Memories of my grandparents, on both my mom's side, and my dad's side.

It is bittersweet for me to stay here now.
It is fun to make memories with my own kids, but I miss the girl I once was here-- carefree, and blissfully unaware that time marches on, and moments, much like people you love, don't go on forever.

The cabin is on the Snake River.
It is beautiful there, and quiet.
Almost painfully quiet.
And free from Internet, and television.
(But not hot showers, or microwaves.)
We spent time fishing:

Grandpa knows all the best spots.

We tried to catch and release everything, but some of those fish didn't mess around, and swallowed the hook along with the worm.

Those we brought home, we baked up and ate. This is after the boys gutted them. With a little too much glee, I might add.
I did not take photos.
You're welcome.
And let's just say that teenage boys can come up with "101 Things To Do With Fish Eyeballs."
None of those things are good.

Other things we do at the cabin:
The girls braid each others hair...

...while the boys wrestle, and knock things off the shelves and walls.

We play games.
Games that do not need a power source, a touchscreen or a stylus.
Imagine!

We toast marshmallows.
In the dark.
Where no one can see much.
This results in the kids having marshmallow casualties stuck to their feet, or matted into their smoke-scented hair.
But oh, when the stars come out at night...so many stars!
And then the crickets start up...
There is nothing as perfect as a summer night in Idaho.

We have hammocks hanging on the porch.

Farm equipment to explore...

...barns...

...and wide-open fields.

Nearby is a field where we picked currants. They grow wild. I can't imagine them being good for anything but eating immediately, they are so tiny.
My Dad remembers my Grandma making currant jam out of them.
Bless her heart. I hope she sent all the kids out to pick all the berries.

There was a black currant bush too.
Apparently a regular currant bush mixed with the huckleberry bush growing next to it.
They had delicious babies.

The field we were in was beautiful. Late summer grain, and some wildflowers. The sun was starting to set, and made the colors so vibrant.

I mean, I don't want to be a farmer anytime soon, but dang, those fields are beautiful in the right light.

And those currant berries were delicious.

My Dad grew up in this valley.
His memories are far different from mine.
He remembers plowing fields, and taking water shares, and the harsh winter months.
He remembers hard work--going to bed exhausted and dirty.
But to me it is the epitome of peaceful.
I never realize how much I have missed being in Idaho, until I am there again.
Taking a deep, soul-cleansing breath.

He took us to a place he discovered when he was a boy.
Right on the side of a busy road.
People drive by it, and never know.
It is a vein of rich black soil, embedded with fossils.
I am not sure what this ancient body of water was doing in Idaho, but there it is.

Chock full of fossilized seashells.

We didn't stay in Idaho long enough.
It is never long enough.
The last day we went to Fall Creek.

A beautiful waterfall.
We took all the little ones.
My big boys helped them up, and down, the falls.

They made a human chain of teen boys, passing the littles over and up (or down). I was pretty proud of them. I think the last time we visited the falls, those boys of mine were the littles then.

When we got to the bottom, the older ones "cliff" jumped. I use that term very loosely, since the "cliff" was only a few feet high. The water was cold. I was happy to be the photographer. No one pressured me into jumping in...

The littles "swam" in the pools at the base of the falls.

Grandpa and some of the grand kids:

This is why we love the cabin.
(Cabin couture is sweat pants!)
Not because we do exciting things.
(We let the cabin get wonderfully messy!)
Not because we do anything at all, really.
(Except maybe eat Grandma's homemade fudge!)
We are very content to just hang out, doing nothing.

But "doing nothing" together.
My kids get the opportunity to get to know their grandparents better.

Their aunts and uncles.
Their cousins.

Even their siblings, and mom and dad.
(That 4 1/2 hour car ride'll do that.)

And that (more than the famous potatoes) is why we love Idaho.

"Having someplace to go is home. Having someone to love is family. Having both is a blessing."

Echo Park Paper and The Twinery! Love.

2011-08-18T05:00:00.002-07:00

Some of you are stopping by my blog in the middle of a Blog Hop! Welcome!
I am new to this whole "blog hop" thing.
You should have just come over from Tifany DeGough's blog.
If you just stumbled over here randomly, you can get on board, beginning over at The Twinery blog, or Echo Park Paper blog.
The Twinery LINK
Echo Park Paper LINK
Both companies are doing giveaways, so make sure you throw your hat in the ring for those!

I like happy colors.
I really do.
I have an orange bathroom in my house.
Everyone in the family prefers it.
How do I know this?
Because every time I use it, the toilet paper is out.

Happy colors make me happy!
And happy colors is what I always get with Echo Park Paper kits.
Recently, us lucky girls on the EP design team, got to do a product swap with The Twinery.
Check this out!

This what I got in the mail!
Isn't it pretty?
Don't you kind of want to roll around in it?
For the product swap, we just had to make a few projects featuring the happy twine, and some happy Echo Park paper.
So what did I do?
I made a sort-of depressing layout. (Just the journaling is depressing.)
I pulled out some older photos of Mikayla to work with.
She is eight now.
She was three then.
Sadness.
You can click on the layout, to get a larger image, and read the journaling.

I wanted to show you a couple of little tricks I used on this layout.
I made a title banner using twine to hang the pennants. I found that when you slightly curl the top of the pennants over the twine, they look more like they are hanging there. I also like to curl the bottoms of the pennants up to add dimension.

Another trick I use a lot with double sided patterned paper, is to tear an edge, and fold it up--to expose the other side of the patterned paper.
Here is a closer look:
(The chevron pattern is printed on the opposite side of the floral patterned paper.)

The Twinery twine is a perfect match to Echo Park Papers.
I loved working with it!

Here are a few cards I made.
I used scraps from my Echo Park Paper Stash.
Most of the papers I used are from the Country Drive paper kit, or the Dots and Stripes Collection.
I used twine to create a flight path for my bumblebee.
I drew the line first in pencil:

traced the pencil lines using a clear-drying glue,:

then adhered the twine, and trimmed it,:

and lastly, added an Echo Park bee sticker, and a sentiment!:

Easy peasy birthday card!
Here are a couple more cards using the delicious twine, and Echo Park:

One more:

Thanks for taking a look!
I hope you *need* to go buy some twine, and Echo Park paper now.
I am always in the market to enable folks.

Make sure you leave a comment on my blog because there are apparently prizes (from Echo Park and The Twinery) for those who leave comments on each of the "blog hop" designer's blogs.
The deadline for commenting is 11:59pm EST, Friday, August 19th. Prizes will be announced on Saturday, August 20th.

I am going to personally give away an Echo Park paper kit (of your choice) from the comments on this post.
Leave me an e-mail address, so I can contact you, and the name of the Echo Park Paper kit of your choice.
This means you have THREE CHANCES to be a winner!

If you want to see more projects using Echo Park Paper and twine from The Twinery, your next stop on the Blog Hop is:
Ivona Foster
Her blog link is:
HERE

GO!
(Good luck.)

Hello!

2011-08-13T10:59:00.004-07:00

Did you know that school starts up again in ten days?
Not that I am counting down or anything.
I *adore* my darling, obedient, prodigies.
I will miss them when they are the hell outta here.

We have been suffering from a little cabin fever over here.
Temperatures (and temperaments) have been soaring.
The kids are tired of the pool.
And playing outside.
I am tired of them eating everything that is not nailed down, or marked with "High in Fiber!", and then leaving their dirty dishes everywhere.
They are like locusts.
I swear it.

We need a schedule again.
Or should I say, *I* need a schedule again.
One that is void of children for a six hour stretch.

I really love them.
I do.
Just not in such concentrated form.

And in other news, Sam put me on vitamins.

THESE.
I felt drained all the time.
I refuse to accept the fact that this might simply be because I am almost 40, and I REALLY AM just drained all the time.
There are seven giant horse pills in the package, and I am supposed to take all of them.

The first day, I took them while driving over to the gym.
I gagged in the van.
Eyes watering and everything.
One of the pills burned going down.

But I will tell you what!
I felt awesome that whole day!
Honestly.
I made it through the workout, lifting more weight than I ever have.
Usually when I do this particular workout, I drag the rest of the day. It is like all the energy I had allotted for the whole day, was expended in that one hour of working out.
This time, I wasn't wiped out.
And when the 3pm to 5pm daily slump came around, I had energy.
It was weird.
And like an answer to my infrequent prayers.

I dug a little deeper, and discovered that two of the seven pills in that Molotov Cocktail are caffeine. (Energy! Enhancers!)
Granted, it is labeled as natural caffeine.
(guarana seed extract, black tea extract, ginger root extract, etc.)
But internets, isn't marijuana also "natural?"

I successfully kicked my Mountain Dew habit to the curb four years ago.
And now, GNC is putting me back on it.
Kinda.
I have mixed feelings.
I cut out one of the Energy Enhancing pills, and I still feel good.
I just wonder about long(er) term effects.
Thoughts?

And in an attempt to document family life at the Wadley casa, one of our pet ducks was killed this past week.

Yeah, we have two ducks.
(Well, had.)
It's kind of a long story.
This summer, the dang things have been "free range" ducks.
We have found them over at the neighbors houses.
It is embarrassing.
It is no secret that I am not a huge animal lover.
I don't want your dog crap on my lawn.

I was mortified, that our dumb ducks were on the prowl.
Pooping on other peoples lawns.
We caged them in the back yard, but they would get out.

Anyway, this past week, it was pretty evident, that one of the neighbors had enough of the ducks.
One of the ducks was clearly poisoned with anti-freeze.
Seizures and everything.
It was horrible.
My kids were devastated.

The thing that makes me the angriest, is that we never once received a phone call or complaint about the ducks.
It was a chicken-shit way to deal with an animal.
And cruel.
We didn't even get a chance to try to fix the (apparent) issue.

We are pretty sure we know who it was.
I am having a hard time not feeling negative about it.
Also, I didn't really know what to do with a big fat duck carcass.
Not like you can just flush it...
Brendan buried it in the garden.
Note to Sam:
Next year, don't run the tiller deep.

Lastly, I have also been busy working on scrapbooking projects.
I will be sharing some of that stuff in a couple of days.
And also doing another giveaway, so stay tuned for that one.

The Pits

2011-08-03T21:37:00.003-07:00

My grandparents had a giant cherry tree in their backyard.
When I was younger I remember spending almost my whole summer in that cherry tree.
My cousins did too.
And my younger aunts and uncles.
It was kind of a summer meeting spot.
Especially in July when the cherries were on.

Each year I would scale a little higher in the tree. I am not sure if it was bravery, or my growing arms and legs that provided increase in the climb.

One summer, I reached the top.

I was up where I am sure the wind itself was born.
The cherries there were huge and dark red.

Not many cherries at the top had beak pecks out of them--there were no larger branches for the birds to land on to snack.

But the very best part about being the "man at the top," was the pit-spitting order.

At the top, you could eat and eat...and spit the dripping pits on the cousins below you in the tree.
After enduring a few years of being a "bottom dweller", revolted by the pits rained down on me by those loftier, it was liberating to be the spitter!

Every year I would eat cherries until it made me sick.
Literally.
Every year my mom and grandma would warn me to stop eating, but I couldn't.
Fresh cherries are like crack.
So every year I got cherry-induced diarrhea.

That cherry tree eventually got some kind of worm, and had to be put down.
I was sad.
It was like losing an old friend.
(An old friend that produced snacks, and occasional stomach cramping.)

This year, my sweet father-in-law brought us a butt-load of freshly picked cherries.
(No pun intended.)
I wish I could say that I shared them, but I did not.
I needed them.

I have been having gastrointestinal distress.
Let's just say that the benefits of eating fiber is a lie.
Or the "fiber" I have been eating is made from some type of cork.

I remembered the "magic" of cherries from my childhood, and I was hoping that maybe they would help things out, down below, if I ate them all.

Didn't work.
Nothing works out the same as you remember when you were younger.
I never used to worry about fiber in my diet.
Things were always just "regular."

I also used to like amusement parks.
I could hang upside down for hours.
And turn cartwheels.
Now those same things made me dizzy and a little sick.

Getting old is like being a "bottom dweller" forever, with life constantly pinging you in the head with pits.

Rock hard, hemorrhoid-inducing pits.

Catchin' Up.

2011-08-01T15:12:00.005-07:00

At the risk of sounding like everyone else on Facebook...where has summer gone?
My oldest turned 15 last week.
He also received his very first paycheck:

This is good for many reasons.
He will be driving soon, and he will need money for things like gas, and insurance, and gum.
You can't go trolling for chicks with bad breath.
Jayden still dabbles in Skateboarding.
These shoes were purchased exactly one month ago:

Granted, they are an off-brand (and apparently those off-brands just don't wear as well.)
But seriously.
It is always the right shoe only.
I can't keep this kid in shoes.

I also can't keep enough cold cereal in the house.

We have been spending a lot of time in the water.
Squeezing every last bit out of summer, before Utah decides to dump snow on us again.
The cousins:

A little slip and slide action:

Doesn't Mikayla look happy?
Yeah, well she is grounded.
For a week.
I am not messing around this time, I wrote it on the calendar so I wouldn't forget and everything.
We have ONE rule at our house.
One.
This is because that is all my children can handle.
And even the ONE RULE proves to be too much for them.
The ONE RULE is:

"Tell Mom where you are going."

That's it.
You would think it would be easy, but no.
It is not.
We have this rule, because I do not care to look like a dumb crap on a regular basis.
I do not like to call/walk the neighborhood looking for my offspring.
Mikayla has really been struggling with this rule.
This past week, I realized it had been a while since I had seen her.
When I really got to thinking about it, I could not remember seeing her at all.
Did she eat breakfast?
What was she wearing?
I dunno.
Before you start judging my incompetent parenting skills, remind yourself of the fact that I have five kids of my own, and an indeterminate number of neighbor kids or cousins over at any given time.
I did the smart thing, and offered all the kids in my yard a package of Starbursts if they found Mikayla.
So the search was on.
I heard them hollering her name, while I searched the house to make sure she didn't fall asleep under a pile of molding beach towels.
We looked for an hour, and then I started to panic.
She literally, could be duct taped into the back of a window-less service van bound for Mexico.
I got sick inside.
We all kept looking, neighbors joined in.

And then, two minutes later, she came skipping out of a house in the neighborhood that had barely been moved into.
I don't know who lives there.
I have never met them.
Not cool.

I refrained from beating her butt all the way across the street.
She was crying.
I was (almost) crying, with relief.

I sternly reminded her of the family rule.
Nope. I take that back.
I was screeching at her for violating the only @$#%! rule we have!

As punishment for making me sweat it out looking for her, letting my mind wander into dark and ugly places, FOR AN HOUR I made her write in a college rule notebook for an hour.

"I will not go places without telling my mother."

She filled six pages, single spaced.
She was sitting at the kitchen counter, and I was cleaning the kitchen.
Periodically, I would walk past her, and swat her with a fly swatter.
(Hey man, it was a brand new gut-free swatter.)

I hope she learned a lesson.
My heart can't take that kind of drama.

And in other news:
I have been working on more scrap stuff.
These two are for Core'dinations cardstock.

That last layout?
The photos were taken yesterday.
I am happy to report that Mikayla is smiling again, in spite of the swatter abuse.
And I also know where she is.

She asked if she could have the bag of Starbursts, cause technically she "found herself."

Tiger's Blood

2011-07-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

24 ounces of frozen goodness.
Stains your whole mouth red.
Including your teeth, especially if your brushing skills are questionable.

Spoon it.
Smooth, syrupy, shaved ice, that instantly melts on your tongue.
Punch that scoop straw all the way down to the Styrofoam bottom of the cup.

Slurp it.
Suck up all the melted parts, leaving a frosty iceberg in the center.

Go until your front teeth ache from the cold.
If you have front teeth, that is.
Go until your brain freezes!

It's summer!
You don't need to use that brain of yours for another 30 days.

Jen, come on down!

2011-07-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

Winner of the July Echo Park Paper kit is commenter number 12, who said:

1:28 PM
Blogger Jen said...

Oh, I really like Victoria Garden!

1:38 PM
Congrats, Jen!
I can't find an e-mail for you on your blogger profile, so shoot me an e-mail.
shauntewadley@gmail.com
I need your final choice for the paper kit, and a street address to send it to!

Thanks everyone!

Sneak Peek

2011-07-18T20:16:00.002-07:00

I just got the green light to share a brand new paper line that Echo Park is releasing at CHA.
It is called "Happy Days."
Is there anyone old enough to remember the TV show?
And then the spin-off "Joanie Loves Chachi" that was pretty stupid.
I had a crush on "The Fonz."

This paper line is bright, happy, 50's diner-esque colors.
Diner-esque is a word.
Really it is.

I loved working with this line, and I am happy to report that I can give this kit away as part of the drawing!

If you have already entered, don't worry.
I will e-mail whoever wins, and verify the Echo Park Paper kit of their choosing.
If you have not entered, scroll down to the next post, and comment!
HERE IS A LINK FOR THE LAZIES
Here are some sneak peeks at some of the projects I created with this line:

And lastly, my favorite project:
There is a sheet of journaling cards included in this kit.
I cut them apart, and made lunchbox notes out of them. Then I cut this cute box out of patterned paper to match, and store the cards in.
I downloaded the box shape from Silhouette.
Did you know that Echo Park has teamed up with Silhouette, and has shapes to match their paper lines?
Neither did I!
(Goodbye $$$)

Cute, eh?

So to re-cap:
You are peeking at another (top secret) new line from EP.
Enter to win a collection of your choice from Echo Park Paper, in my post below titled "Do You Feel Lucky?" by Wednesday.
Cross your fingers.
Go get a Tiger's Blood Shaved Ice.
Eat it.
Slowly...do not give yourself a brain freeze.

Wait for my e-mail, sometime on Thursday.

Do You Feel Lucky?

2011-07-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hey- since this blog has been all braggy lately, with my projects, I figure the only way I can keep y'all interested in dropping by is to do another giveaway!

Leave me a quick comment, and let me know which of the two new Echo Park Paper Co. collections you would like to own.

If you need to fast and pray over it, you have time.
I will choose someone on Wednesday.

And if you need to see the full kits to make your decision, you can take yourself over to the Echo Park website, and click on the new kits, it will show everything in the kits, including the two full-sized (cool)sticker sheets.

Here is a link:
ECHO PARK PAPER CO.

Good luck!
(ineverwincraplikethis.)

More Show and Tell

2011-07-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is another paper line from Echo Park.
It is called "The Apothecary Emporium."

What I really liked about this collection was the sticker sheet.
Almost all of the stickers were completely "usable".

See the stickers on the treat containers?
I didn't have to alter them.
The stickers for the kit were designed to make instant treat bags or cards.
For someone lazy like me, who occasionally thinks about doing something cute for someone, but then changes my mind cause I don't want to take the time--this kit is perfect.
How hard is it to take a brown paper lunch sack, slap one of those cute stickers on it, and have the recipient be impressed?
Here is a card that practically made itself:

And a layout:

The strip across the middle is cut from patterned paper.
Almost every kit in the Echo Park paper line contains a piece of paper that has individual elements on it, that you can cut apart and use for embellishments.

See the strip I used for my border?

For some reason, I only want to work on scrapbook projects after midnight.
My schedule is really jacked right now.
I get really creative at night.
Or maybe "punchy" is a better word.
Either way, I started messing around in photo shop, and learned how to use texture overlays.
I know most people probably already know about them, but this is ME we are talking about.
I have taught photo shop to myself, just by playing around.
Also, this past winter was when I first discovered a little miracle called The Electric Blanket.
Clearly, I am a little slow on the draw.

This Halloween layout, was the first photo I altered with texture.
I am so proud of me!
Before:

After:

Then I went nuts on some pictures:
Before:

After:

Before:

After:

So yeah. I am totally into texture.
So if you see a weird looking lady, taking pictures of cement, or tree bark, just let it roll.
And if you are around and about at 2 am, swing on by and see what I am working on!

Show and Tell!

2011-07-13T10:09:00.004-07:00

You can skip this whole post if you are not into paper crafting.
Really.
No hard feelings.

CHA is right around the corner, and I have been holed up in the studio cranking out projects.

Here are a few peeks, of the ones I have permission to share.
One of the companies I do things for is called Echo Park Paper Company.

They are releasing a few new paper lines for CHA.
This one is called Victoria Gardens.

Here are a couple of things I made to showcase this paper line in the trade show booth:

I loved this line!
Fun colors, and pretty paper.
And it smelled deliciously like fresh ink.

And in case you think I am favoring Shianne, just because she is going through a better teeth stage than my 8 year old...here is a whole mini-album, dedicated to Mikayla and her baptism.
I am only showing a few pages, cause I know you have better things to do today.

And if you DON'T have better things to do, come over.
My laundry situation is dire.

I have been avoiding it.
Creating things.
Also, the pile I attempted to pick up from the laundry room floor contained a ginormous spider.
I am waiting for the spider to do the laundry.
Or leave.

This image shows the open mini-album, inside the mini-album.
Tricky!

And this concludes our "Show and Tell" for today.

Back to your regularly scheduled summer activities.

A Mid-Summer Memory

2011-07-11T14:48:00.001-07:00

One day, a few years ago, around this time of year- I loaded all the kids up in the suburban and announced that we were going to do something "Super! Fun! today!"
The kids were so excited!
Everyone seat belted in, and peppering me with questions.
"Is Dad coming?"
"Where is it?"
"Is it the bowling alley?"
"Is it McDonalds?"

"I am not telling you, it is a surprise."

Then we merged onto the freeway, and the kids could hardly contain themselves!
Heading into the BIG CITY!
It was going to be AWESOME!

We kept driving.
Past Thanksgiving Point with the dinosaur museum.
Past the movie theater.

Driving on.
Finally, I pulled off of the freeway, made a few turns and this is what loomed into view:

My kids were literally screaming with joy!
"We didn't bring our swimsuits!", they cried.
"It's okay", I said "you won't need them."
I am sure my kids were pretty confused, and conjuring up images of lounging in a lazy river completely nude.
Sharing the parking lot of Cowabunga Bay Water-park is VF Factory Outlet.

I unloaded the stunned children, herded them through the doors of VF, and proceeded to outfit them in $10.00 jeans for the next school year.

I still chuckle about the cruelty of the water-park thing.
And every year, about this time, we begin school shopping and my kids remember the water-park thing too.

It's good to have fond family memories.

So long to a blurry June.

2011-07-05T16:26:00.002-07:00

We had a busy month.
Soccer season ended.
This year, my twins both played.
Each on separate teams that practiced on separate days at different parks in town.
Luckily for me, they had games on Saturdays, at the same park.
I took pictures of them on the last game day.
They both got medals.
Why? You may be wondering.
Did their team take first?
Or second?
I dunno.
In this town, we are afraid of hurting the fragile feelings of children, and we discourage hurtful competition that may make a child feel inferior.
Therefore, everyone gets medals!
YAY EVERYONE!
Thus avoiding hard life lessons like: being a gracious "I am happy for you" loser, or a "non-gloating jerk" of a winner, and that thing called general sportsmanship.

Sometimes being politically correct is for the birds.
And that statement is not even politically correct.
I meant to say, being politically correct it is for mammals of the winged variety.
Anyhoo, I took pictures of them on the last game day, with their well-earned medals, and had to take a standard "jump" shot.
Therefore, I forced my ISO to 6400.

And with that shot, I forgot to turn the ISO back down.
Meaning, that the next 5 bazillion shots on my camera were grainy and craptastic.
Especially when I try to print them any larger than 2 inches.
I took some really cute shots of my daughter, Shianne, who has (much to her fathers horror) grown up quite a bit recently.
I had to manipulate them in photo shop to look "artsy" to compensate for the ISO grain.

A little filter action, and some 70's colorizing.
Also, sometimes yard trash AKA "Sam's future project" crap makes for cool photo props.

The ISO was still forced all through the family BBQ.
Here is Grillman at work:

Sam took over the BBQ duties.
This is a big step in our marriage.
I grew up with a Dad who frequently threw dead carcasses on a flame, and we gladly scarfed them down, carcinogens and all.
I love grilled meats!

Every holiday after we were married I would ask Sam "So, do you think you would like a BBQ grill for *insert holiday here*?"
And he would always answer in the negative.

Finally, what translated to him, was my own personal obsession with wanting a grill.
He bought ME a grill for Mother's Day, 2009.
For me.
So I marinated, and started grilling, and one day, just like that, he took it over.
I knew he would.
There is something primal about men throwing raw meat on an open flame.
Meat.
Fire.
Good.

I have also mastered the art of The Rainbow Jello.

Truth be told, I hate Jello.
I hate the flavor of gelatin, and the texture.
But I cannot resist the OOoooh and AAaaah factor of serving up The Rainbow Jello.

Perfect for a summer BBQ.

Also in all its ISO 6400 glory, is The! Parade!
We have been in the local parade promoting my husband's business for two years now.
He got all of his Jeeping buddies suckered into it, and we are quite the spectacle.
Here is everyone lining up, and waiting for the Parade to start.
You can see we had a few big rigs.
I would have gotten out and taken a decent photo, but my thigh skin was stuck to the vinyl seat and would have ripped clean from my bones.
It was 186 degrees that day.

The little girls were practicing their "Rodeo Princess" waves.
Clearly they are too young to be concerned about waggling triceps.

What made the Jeep entourage awesome, was that periodically they would stop and do "stunts."
Get your inner red-neck prepared for this!
They would climb each others' tires.

Again, I didn't get a decent photo, because I happened to be riding in one of the stunt Jeeps.
They didn't just stack one Jeep on another Jeep...no way, they would stack five Jeeps. Sometimes we would have a Jeep on two of our tires, and we would be up on another Jeep's tire.
That's some gooooood stuff, right there.
My older kids were pimped out in Bowling Pin attire.

A super pride-filled day for all.
In 6400 ISO.

I am still here.

2011-06-29T11:36:00.002-07:00

I reached my "trigger" underwear today.
You know the ones.
The pair of undies you leave in the drawer until you "have" to wear them, cause all the others are in the dirty clothes pile, waiting for the maid.
The pair of undies that have something wrong, and you vow you will throw them away.
They bunch up, or pull funny, or the elastic is semi-shot, and they slide down.
They "trigger" you to do laundry.
Or you want to pull a "trigger" on yourself when you are wearing them.
Again.
FOR THE LAST TIME!!

I am wearing them now.
And starting the laundry.

I wanted to pop in, cause I haven't blogged in a while.

I am noticing a pattern, here.
I blog more when I am pissed off or depressed.

I guess it is good that I haven't been around??

Summer is awesome.
That is all.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

2011-06-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

I wanted to be a little more professional about doing this giveaway...after all, I am using Sugar in the Raw now, and all.

Usually I just ask my kids to pick a number between x and x...

So I found this website that did random number generation.
Then I read a tutorial on how to do a screen shot, and save the image, so you all would know that I am keeping this thing honest.

And holy cow! 31 comments!
Where have you people been?
I feel like I should hire some bodyguards to keep me from the paparazzi.

Anyway, after many online tutorials, I am ready to announce a winner!
Echo Park said they would continue to give me kits to give away!
So check back.
Drum-roll please?

Comment number 25 belongs to Shay, who said:
Blogger Shay said...

I love the paper! Please pick ME!

5:22 PM

Shay, e-mail me your address, and we will be sending you some happy mail.
Thanks so much everyone!

Pool Couture

2011-06-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

I never go to the pool without wearing sunglasses.
This is not to protect my eyes, although that is a nice side bonus.
This is so I can people watch, without looking like a creeper.

There is some good people-watching at the pool.

And it needs to be said:
"What in the @#!% are some people thinking?"

I could wear a bikini to the pool.
But three things prevent me from doing so:

A full-length mirror...and two little things called "my eyes."

There are many things that are better off for everybody when they are covered up.

There are, however, quite a herd of larger-sized folks who come to the community pool very scantily clad.
I am thinking that when you lose the back strap of your bikini because it is buried in flesh...it is probably time to start shopping in the one-piece suit section.
Just my opinion.
I get that some people want an "all-over body tan" but sometimes, that is just asking too much of the sun.

And don't get me started on the guy last week strutting his stuff in a Speedo.
This is Utah County, dude.
Conservative-ville, USA.
Not Europe.
I don't even know where he would have purchased that banana hammock.
I know good and well they are not in this weeks Target ad.

That being said, is there nothing worse than putting on your swimsuit for the first time of the season?
All your insecurities come back, along with the summer mosquitoes.
Suddenly, I haven't done near enough lunges.
I actually have to shave my legs further than my kneecaps.
My toes are seriously uglier than I remembered, and no amount of funky polish is going to make up for them.
I have a suit with a skirt.
Judge if you must, but the skirt seems shorter- my stretch marked thighs are way more exposed than I thought...maybe tanning them will camouflage that?

I am waiting patiently for this to catch on:

It will be a glorious day for everyone.

It's Country Time!

2011-06-14T12:30:00.003-07:00

Back in April, I decided to try out for a design team and get scrapping again.

I was lucky, and made the Core'dinations Cardstock design team.
Around the same time, I was approached by Echo Park Paper Company and asked if I would like to join their in-house design team.

Happiness!
I am part of two wonderful design teams, that send me product to roll around in! (Fully clothed.)
I am sure I will be sharing projects and stuff on my blog.

Today is awesome, because Echo Park asked me if I would like to give away their brand new collection to one of my readers. (Yes!)
Wait! Before you run away, because like myself you "never win anything" think about the fact that I literally have about ten blog readers. One is my mom, and she doesn't really scrap. You have a good chance!

Wanna see it?
It is called "Country Drive."

There are 12 double sided papers:
(This was my girls' favorite one)

This is my favorite. I love a good stripe!

two sticker sheets (the other sticker sheet is alllll alphabet)
(cute!)

There is a whole sheet of journaling cards too, if you want to see the entire collection, you can head over to Echo Park Paper, and ogle.
CLICK HERE

**If you would like to have this collection mailed right to your door, for free, just leave me a comment on this post. I will pick a name this Saturday, (June 18th.)**

Keeping with the theme of Country Drive...I thought of Country Time. As in lemonade.
I tried (and tweaked) a new recipe today. From scratch.
I wanted a really tart (this ain't your grandma's lemon cookie) lemon cookie.
I found some recipes online, and did my own thing to them.

So I am sharing it, because frankly it kicks a little butt, and you should partake.
I needed to share some tips though, in case anyone else out there is a non-cook like myself.
It is no secret that I like to watch the Food Network.
I wanted to be fancy.
I bought some "Sugar in the raw" to roll the cookie balls into.
I bought it at Wal-Mart, so it isn't all that gourmet.
This what it looks like:

It is a chunky sugar, it looks like this on the dough:

And like this, after baking:

Sugar in the raw made me feel fancy.
(I am still in my pajamas. It is after noon.)
The other thing I used in the recipe is dry powder lemonade mix.
I just used the off-brand.
Cheaper than Kool-aid, and worked just fine.

Anyway, here is the recipe:
I chose to call it "lemon drop cookies" but really, it could be "lemon zinger cookies" or "pucker petit fours" or "lemonilicious lovers."
(This club can't even handle me right now.<--little Flo Rida reference, mom, just ignore that.)

Lemon Drop Cookies

2 sticks butter, softened
2 c. sugar
3 pkgs. (unsweetened) lemonade mix
1 egg
1 tsp lemon extract
1 tsp finely grated lemon rind
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
Raw Sugar (for rolling dough in)

Preheat oven to 350°.
In a small bowl, mix sugar with lemonade mix. In a large bowl, cream butter, add lemonade mix, and whip until fluffy.
Beat in the egg, lemon extract, and grated lemon rind.
In a separate bowl, stir together the flour and the baking soda. Add the dry ingredients to the batter, beating until thoroughly combined.
Pour about 1/4 c. of raw sugar into a dish.
Form the dough into 1-inch balls (I use a cookie scoop) and roll them in the raw sugar, then place them 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet.
Bake the cookies until the edges just begin to brown, about 10-12 minutes. Cool for 2 minutes.
Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

And to tie everything in, I present:
Lemon Drop cookies, with Country Drive paper background:

Delicious.

Chores and Chairs.

2011-06-13T12:31:00.003-07:00

In case you were wondering where I disappeared to...the local pool opened!

I have been busy acquiring skin cancer, and admiring my cellulite dimpled thighs.

Here is what I have learned in the first week or so of summer.
Dirty dishes can no longer be left in the sink overnight.
Milk from the cereal bowls will rot and curdle instantly and stink up the entire house. To the point of gag.
I will be honest.
Loading up dirty dishes is my least favorite chore.

I have issues.
I have issues with "used" food.
I can't touch it.
It makes me cringe and completely grosses me out.
I feel like the "used" food gets trapped underneath my fingernails, and stays-germing it up under there.
The smell.
Ugh.
So the dishes get ignored a lot around here.
I leave them there, hoping someone else will do them.
Like an optimistic moron.
Because reality is, no one else around here seems to notice a darn thing.
My family will sit watching TV in a hovel of filth, and they are fine with that.
So, I usually get stuck doing those dishes, and every hour I let them sit...fermenting in the sink...just adds to my own personal hell.

I do, however, like to vacuum.

I love the look of the carpet afterwards, in neat, straight lines.
I get a strange satisfaction in sucking up small wrappers, barbie shoes, or popcorn kernels.
I love emptying out the vacuum canister, and dumping out ALL THAT CRAP.
Crap that was living in my carpet.

So I have learned this summer, that it is best to try to do all the chores before we head over to the pool.

But then I am taking the risk that I might not get a pool lounge to sit on.
You have to get to the pool pretty early in the morning to get a non-broken pool lounge around these parts.
It is serious business.
I have watched stay-at-home-mom fist fights break out over the lounge chairs.
I have witnessed small children tossed like footballs, when the pool doors opened, and used to "hold" chairs.

I have seen grown women peeing their "territory."
The pool lounge chairs are a serious commodity.
If you don't get there when the pool opens, you are stuck with a lounge chair that either (a) will not recline, (b) only has three legs and must therefore be propped up on one side with a flip-flop, (c) is missing slats, and must be stuffed with towels or the dreaded (d) no lounge chair at all.
Then you are relegated to the hard, bare, cement- where you have to precariously place yourself and all of your belongings to avoid the random rivulets of water drippage from other (lucky lounge chair) patrons.
It is not a good time.
If you watch like a hawk, (from below on the cement) you can sometimes snag a lounge chair as someone leaves, but like I said, you look away for one second, and it will be claimed by someone else quicker on the draw.

I have also learned that damp clothing cannot be left in the back of the van.
Smells worse than the sink dishes.

Summers give me anxiety.

Summer Is Only Good If You Are a School Teacher.

2011-06-03T14:14:00.002-07:00

It has officially been summer at our house for six hours.
Already, four of my five darling children have lovingly requested that I drive them somewhere.
They have pressing social engagements.
My three month stint as an entertainment specialist, slash chauffeur is beginning.

I have already been bombarded with the ever-popular:
"I am bored."
"Our house is boooooring."
"We want want popsicles!"
And:
"This is going to be the worst summer ever."

We are already out of cold cereal.
The bowls and spoons are all dirty.
The milk has been left out on the counter since morning.

I have already uttered the words: "Stop making me swear inside!!"

Internets, this is not a good sign of things to come.
Namaste.

A Picture To Be Proud Of.

2011-05-24T10:19:00.003-07:00

I have always taken a photo on Mother's Day.

I have long dreamed of having a framed photo of me and my children.
Smiling at the camera.
Arms intertwined.
Coordinated (and yet not too matchy) outfits.
Love abundant in our eyes.

This is the first "Mother's Day" photo I could find.
It was taken in the days of "black and white film is so artistic and cool."
I look so, uh, happy.
I think I was pregnant.
I was always pregnant in the 90's.
I remember disappointingly getting the photo back, seeing my bangs hanging all greasy-like, and filling them in on the photo with a sharpie marker.
This was before I discovered Photoshop.
Or clothing outside of the local K-Mart.

Fast forward a year or two:
We also used this shot as our family picture for a long time.
A super weird camera angle that seemed to stretch the poor people on the sides of the photo.

You might want to click on that one.
Sam is looking particularly good, with that sweet necklace.
And me in my denim overalls.
We had a lot of babies then.
And stockpiles of Mountain Dew.
I don't remember much about the next few years of our lives.
Just diapers, and Barney the #$^@! Dinosaur.

Next up...this was the best shot we could get that year.
Our lives were all about herding cats.
We were on zone defense.
We were lucky to get them all in the photo.
Everyone smiling at the camera?
I scoff at you.
But I pasted on a smile.
Was I really happy?
Who knows.
(Side note: green hose, zig-zag parted hair, and flowerbeds full of large sized weeds.)

Moving on...
Then I had Mikayla, our youngest.

And cut my hair off.
This was the winning photo.
We took an entire roll of 24.
Remember film?
Me too.
I also remember loving plaid for my boys.

The next year, I grew my bangs out.
(Short-lived.)
I have a really weird forehead.
And even stranger kids.
We figured, "let's do an intentional silly shot, since we can't ever get a good one anyway."

Well, that Mountain Dew wasn't drinking itself, and it wasn't diet, so I started to gain weight.
It was really depressing.
The weight, and the craptastic annual (fail) photo shoot.

I got creative the next year, and decided to crop in on just our faces to minimize the evidence of weight gain.

No bodies.
Just floating heads of Motherhood.
And Brendan looks constipated?
There is always at least one kid that makes the annual photo "special."

Fast forward to this year.
I thought to myself "hey, all the kids are older, maybe we can get a truly good picture this year?"
So I set up the pose, bribed the children, and instructed Sam on taking the photo.
Here is what we got:

Jayden clearly embarrassed.
Brendan and Mikayla uncomfortable.
Shayne, zoned out, staring at a place behind the camera, and mentally far, far away.
Shianne and I in hysterics.
Here is another shot:

More of the same.

And here is the background to achieving a shot yourself, JUST. LIKE. THIS.
But I warn you, it takes skeelz.
The camera person must be holding the camera completely still on top, while also getting jiggy with it on the bottom.
Air-humping.
Hips gyrating.
Like a high-end pole dancer.
Preferably just after church, while still in a suit.
And the neighbors should be driving home from church, witnessing it all.

That would be Sam.
I love him.

Doing what it takes to get a good Mother's Day shot.
"All I want for Mother's Day is ONE FREAKING GOOD PHOTO! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!!"
Sam, taking one for the team.
All pride gone.
Making the kids look at the camera, and smile real smiles.

Priceless.

This is NOT in the Handbook.

2011-05-16T13:24:00.007-07:00

Last night we had an emergency Family Home Evening.

When all my kids were younger, they loved to play in the tub.
They loved to play in the shower!

I never had an issue getting them to bath.
They would stay in the tub long after the water turned cold, and long after their fingers and toes turned white/gray in color and wrinkled up like albino prunes.

Every Saturday night, I would personally scrub them good.
I loved the smell of a warm (Johnson & Johnson body wash) body wrapped up in a clean bleach-scented towel.

Apparently, during those years, it escaped their attention that you actually needed to "wash" when you took a bath.
With soap.
And shampoo.

One of my kids in particular has been looking rather greasy post-shower.
"Did you shower?"
"Yep."
"Did you wash your hair?"
"Yep."

Riddle me this. How does freshly washed hair hang like it has been dragged behind a horse on the range?

For days I would ask.
I saw it wet, with my own eyes, yet when it dried, it looked like a dust mop.
What was going on?

Well, come to find out, the boys bathroom, downstairs, has been out of shampoo for MONTHS.
Since around Christmastime, I discovered, after careful questioning.
They have been using Irish Spring.

Let's backtrack, shall we?
To about two years ago.
One of my nameless offspring had an issue with their butt.
Namely, a sore butt, like unto diaper rash of yore.
Except this kid was old(er) than they should have been for diaper rash.
This is really too much information, but the butt issue was really sore and may or may not have oozed.
Allegedly.
The nameless offspring was a little too old for a thorough inspection by myself.
((shudder))
So, I took this kid to the doctor.

We have been to foreign countries, and you never know what you can pick up in restrooms (and I use that term very loosely) in a foreign country.
Especially the type where they sell toilet paper by the square, and require you to flush the toilet yourself using a metal bucket full of questionable liquid.
But I digress...

Long story short, the doctor gave this child a cream of some sort, and told this child to be diligent about drying off after washing.

In the car, on the way home, the child tentatively asked what the doctor meant exactly by "washing."
At first I thought this was a joke, born out of the humiliation of recently spreading cheeks in front of a female pediatrician.
It was a dead serious question.
This is a fairly intelligent child.
This kid, was "unaware" that you needed to actually soap, lather up, and rinse your crack.

My ears were ringing.
That ringing right before you pass out, because you can't believe what you are hearing.
I took a very deep breath.
And wondered where in the heeeeeeal my parenting skills had gone wrong.
Plus, I had to fork out a $25.00 co-pay for this!

They wash in AFRICA, people.
On the barren sand swept hills, where those nomadic people-who have really long necks stretched out with a million metal rings live.

I saw them wash!
On the discovery channel.
Granted, they washed in stagnant ponds, but they had funky handmade soap and everything.

My child? Not so much.
"I guess I forgot about that," the child said.
I was mortified.

So fast forward again, to our emergency Family Home Evening.
One of my other offspring came to me on Sunday with a strange greasy, slimy glob on the top of their (freshly washed) head.
I discovered after poking it with a cotton swab, that it was conditioner.

I started having flashbacks of the "not soaping the butt" ordeal.
Clearly, this child thought that glopping random product on the head in some fashion constituted "washing."

Our Family Home Evening consisted of a discussion about hygiene.
We covered Body Washing 101.
"Private Parts: Even if They Don't 'Look' Dirty, They Still Need to be Soaped Up."
"How To Wash Your Hair, and Actually Reach the Scalp."
"Because Your Feet Are 'In' the Water the Whole Time, Does Not Make Them Clean."

I had a whole segment dedicated to pimples.
(I have four teens/pre-teens.)
(Sympathy accepted.)
I had a print-out of a cross section of skin.
We went over oil glands, and sweat glands and how they get clogged.

It was enlightening.
And yet, shouldn't pretty much ALL THIS CRAP, be COMMON KNOWLEDGE?!!

Just for good measure, we covered:
"Toothpaste: Not Just for Squirting on the Mirror."
And:
"Deodorant: No Longer an Option."

They have that funny parenting saying about how you can totally see how some species in the animal kingdom eat their young.
Not me.
It would give me salmonella or botulism or something.

Happy (Early) Mother's Day!

2011-05-06T22:05:00.001-07:00

I got a present early.
A gem.
Oh man! Total GEM!
You just wait...
It is from my Mikayla. Age 8, second grade.

I think she knows me best.
I so needed this after my awful day yesterday.
I need to interrupt myself to tell you about the final saga of my crappy court day.
The police showed up at my house that evening.
Yes, they did.
Two of them, and all my neighbors were outside.
My cordless phone had randomly called 911.
They had to come check it out, and I had to fill out a report.
I went to bed at 9:42.
I'd had enough of that day.

Anyway.
Check this out!

(Awwww...I do love her. It's true.)

(So grateful for teachers who do these kinds of projects with kids, I will keep this 'til my dying day.)
(Also, I have great illustrated hair!)

(Cause church is the only day I "clean up.")

(True.)
(Also, check out the "jeep" on the hill, with the bloodcurdling "ahhhhh." <--that's me)

(Perfume and Cookies. Way better than Taco Pits. I only wish there were a cookie perfume. Bath and Body Works, can you hear me?)

(Again, true. Can you ever go wrong with cookies?)

(Hold on, I am sensing a trend here.)
And with that "trend", I present to you the final page in the book:

Like a Fish Out of Water

2011-05-05T11:45:00.004-07:00

My day started out with events spilling over from last night.

The kids unloaded groceries, and left the lift-gate open on my van.
When I opened the garage, the lift-gate of the van got wedged in the garage door.
Rut-roh.

So I pulled the van forward the inch that I could, and that was enough to un-wedge it.

Then I headed off to COURT.

COURT, PEOPLE!

This is for my traffic ticket. I was hoping to get a reduction of some sort.

I am a totally anxiety ridden person when it comes to crap like this.
I can't get it out of my mind, until it is over with.
The idea of going to court has been swirling around in my head for two weeks straight, like a living entity. I forget about it for a minute, but it lurks there, clawing its way to the front of my thoughts.

In the shower, I go over court dialog.
While I am folding laundry.
When I am trying to enjoy dinner.
It is worse in bed, at night, when I replay what could happen in court, what I should say, what I should wear, and for the love of all that is holy, remember to call the judge "your Honor."
I haven't been sleeping.
And my anxiety makes me sweat.
I have permanent taco-pits.

I would make the crappiest criminal.

I left my house a whole hour before I needed to be in court.
I also have anxiety about finding new places, even with Mapquest.

Taco pit Thursday.

I arrived at the building, and read a book in the parking lot for a bit. I didn't want to go in 45 minutes early.
Let's be honest.
I have no idea what I read out in the car.
Words.
But inside I was a mess and couldn't process the words.
Finally I went in.
I went through a metal detector, and went back into a waiting room.
It was full of Mexicans.
I am not sure how to say that politically correct, and the Mexican thing makes more sense in a minute.
(Also Happy Cinco de Mayo!)

I asked if I was in the right place, and recited the address.
Uh, no.
I was in Immigration Violation Court.
So I got new directions to the building I needed and high-tailed it out of there.

By this time, I am nearing my appointment time.
I have now sweated through my jacket.

I find what I think is the building, and rush inside.
It was the right one this time.
There was my name, in black and white on the docket, for anyone to see.
It was kind of embarrassing to see it there, as a defendant with a warrant.
Did I mention my nerves?
Or the cheese disease?
I walked into the courtroom, and clearly there are some frequent fliers.
Very hard looking people.
I had no clue what I was doing.
I felt like I was in Kindergarten again, with no friends, not knowing where to sit, or what to do with my hands.
And I just wanted to be anywhere but THERE.
I watched what all the other people were doing.
I had to fill out a paper on a clipboard, and go hand it to the clerk.
So I did that, and sat there for a bit.

I was praying that my nerves would shut up, and that I would get some help, and that my pits would just stop already.
This guy kept walking into the courtroom with a fat briefcase, and going back out.
He looked official.
I finally got up the nerve to ask him what was going on.
My appointment time had passed, and I was worried I somehow missed the dang thing.

Come to find out, he was some sort of counsel.
He took one look at me, and could see I was ready to come apart at the seams.
He told me to take a deep breath, and sit down.

He was a nice man, in a sea of uncertainty and weirdo's.

He told me to plead "Not Guilty" (But I was guilty!) and set a pre-trial date.
"Then," he said "you can take it to trial, and the judge will most likely dismiss it."
"You just have to be persistent." he said.

Internets, I am a wuss.
And my nerves can't take waiting for a pre-trial, and then possibly a trial!

"What is the best I can expect to have this over with today?" I asked.

"I can talk to the judge for you, and see if he will reduce your charges."
Yes please.
So he did.
Bless his heart.
He did all the talking, while I tried really hard not to cry or lift my arms and expose my tacos.
The judge reduced my ticket to 16 over, not 26.
My fine went from $350 to $165, and the points on my record were way more manageable.
I just had to say "Yes, your Honor." And I even remembered to say "your Honor."

I am grateful for people like that counselor, that go to an intimidating job everyday, see ugly things everyday, but still retain enough sensitivity and compassion to help someone like me.

But wait...the adventure doesn't stop here.

I get into an elevator with two attorneys, and a scruffy heavyset guy that is sweatier than me.
As you can predict, the attorneys get off on one floor, and me and sweaty Eddy are alone in the elevator.
As soon as those doors shut, Eddy turns to me and says "I am a criminal, you know."
What the hell, internets!!
I have read enough Stephen King to know that there are mentally unbalanced folks in the world, and possibly my own town, BUT TRAPPED IN AN ELEVATOR?
I felt like I needed to play nice so he wouldn't be offended and off me with a shiv, so I asked him how things went for him in court.
Oh Moses.
He proceeded to tell me his whole life story, and how he drives a semi-truck, and how he hauls food for humanity, and how could he be a criminal for hauling food for humanity!
And I am wondering if "food for humanity" is code for "disemboweled victims."
I proceed to smile at the ground (NO EYE CONTACT!) and nod my head at appropriate intervals, all the while making my way(DON'T RUN!)to my van...IN AN EMPTY PARKING LOT WITH NO ONE AROUND.
With a psycho.
He pauses to ask me what I was in court for, and I told him a traffic violation.
Then he says to me:
(I can't even make this stuff up.)
"You would do real well in jail."
I snaked past him into my van, and pushed "power lock" like the wind!
I squealed outta there on two wheels.
(But safely under the posted speed limit.)

Internets, this all happened to me before noon.

I am taking a nap.

Next Year I Am All Over Hibernation.

2011-05-02T20:39:00.002-07:00

I am sorry to be a Debbie Downer lately.

I know it has something to do with the craptastic Utah weather.
We keep getting stupid snow, cause all the Utah Mormons keep praying for "moisture."
Not me.
The other Mormons.

I can't take it anymore!
I am having serious issues over the weather.
Even my kids wince when they open the blinds and discover snow, and know that I haven't yet glimpsed out.
None of them want to break it to me.
Or be around when I scream.

I haven't exactly clocked out on life, but I haven't exactly been thrilled to wake up in the morning...to live the same day over and over.

Take for instance my sink this morning.
Chock full of bowls.
And when the actual bowls ran out, the kids used Tupperware/used Cool Whip containers/mixing bowls.
You moms out there can translate that into "we've been living off of a whole lot a cold cereal, cause mama doesn't have the heart to cook dinner."

We do have leftover hard boiled Easter eggs, however.
If you get the hankering for a residually neon colored snack.

I am trying to look for bright spots in my life.
Really I am.
They are always there, if you dig deep under the heaping pile of steaming turd.

My van has smelled like it is burning for about a week.
Seriously, when I am stopped at a stop light, the smell wafts up.
It is even worse when I am parked.
Like burnt plastic.
I told Sam to look at it.
He is the man of the house, and is supposed to take care of that type of thing. Right?
Just like I am supposed to take care of...uh, dinner?
Crap.
Okay, wait! Wash! Yes!
I am not a laundry failure.

I asked him to look, cause all we need in our life right now is to fork out cash for a burned up engine or belt or something.
(Did I mention my speeding ticket was $340.00?)
He gave the van a sideways glance, and said it was fine.
So I dug deep into the recesses of my brain, and remembered my Dad taught me to check oil and fluids in a car.
So I did.
And they were fine.
Sam was right.
I was still really worried.

Finally Sam himself drove the van to church on Sunday, and could not take the smell anymore.
He actually crawled underneath the van to pinpoint where that smell was originating from.
I was crossing my fingers that it was a quick fix...
The verdict?

At some point, I guess I had run over a large plastic bag, that was now bubbled and charred and welded onto the muffler.
That's right, folks.
Melted bag.
Temporary.
No repair.

I guess I do have some good luck after all.

And in related news, this is what I found when I went to wake Mikayla up for church on Sunday:

And in case she wasn't clear, this was inside her room, by her bed:

I told you that girl was smart.
And I think she is onto something.

I need to get a sign:
"Closed. Due to Lack of Interest."
For the kitchen.
The laundry room!
The bedroom...

It's been a darn long winter.

Mikayla's Baptism

2011-04-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

Today Mikayla was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

She is our baby, and our last child to be baptized.
I am so proud of her!
She is a genuinely good girl, and a sensitive soul.

As a young mother, I happily celebrated all the "firsts."
It was exciting.
First steps!
First tooth!
First child in Kindergarten!

Each milestone was momentous, (I took a butt-load of pictures) and I looked forward to each one.

I didn't realize how soon I would hit the "lasts."
The "lasts" aren't as fun.
In fact, they are downright sad, and kinda painful.
(Except for the last potty training...)
Most of the "lasts" don't get celebrated, or even noticed.
I didn't notice the last bottle of baby food I spoon-fed into chubby cheeks.
I can't remember buying my last bottle of bubbles for an Easter basket.
Or tying the laces on the soft denim pair of Old Navy (size 1) sneakers that were passed down to all of my babies, for the last time.

Mikayla's life is all about "lasts."
She is the last one to outgrow clothes, and toys, and entire stages of life.
Stages for her, and for me.

I am so lucky to have her.
She doesn't seem to mind curling her gangly, all-knees-and-elbows, 8-year-old body up on my lap to read a book.
Or still grabbing my hand when we walk side-by-side, even if it is not so cool anymore.
She will still watch "The Wonder Pets," if the other kids aren't around to tease her.
I think she knows that I need it.

So today, we celebrated a "last."
After our company left, I cried alone, locked in the bathroom.
Those weird manic (Ineedtherapy) tears of equal happiness and sadness.
And ate frosting straight from the can.

Arches National Park

2011-04-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

Our final day in Moab was spent in Arches National Park.
The day was overcast and slightly rainy.
That good misty rain.
I had never been to Arches. I take that back. My parents said they took me to Arches when I was little. I don't remember it.
(Sorry parents!)

Before we turned off to go to Arches, we had to make a stop.
I guess it is a Moab tradition for my husband and kids that go to Jeep Easter Safari every year, to stop and get some piece of crap from this Rock Shop.

This little store is full of rocks and crystals and other natural-type knick knacks.

Not to mention the Collections of Petrification.
Petrified wood, petrified dinosaur bones, petrified dinosaur poop...
"Fewl's Gold."

And clearly, my children HAD already been to this place, cause this year the shop owner was ready for them!

We dropped some ca$h on temporarily cherished junk that the kids will fight over the entire car ride home, and then promptly lose.

Onward to Arches!

At the entry to the park we received a couple of maps.
The maps were handy for pointing out rock formations along our path, and the names of the formations.
The maps also contained facts about the park.
(There are over 2,000 arches in the park!)
Here was the first notable formation.
Called "The Three Gossips."

Next up on our trail was "Balanced Rock."

"Picture Frame."
(In order to be classified as an "Arch" the opening needs to be at least three feet in diameter.)

Our first real "get out of the car" stop was at "Double Arches."
The kids wanted to hike around a bit.
Everything in Arches is so weird looking...like an episode of "Dr. Who."

We hiked up to the opening of this cave.
I am not sure why.
I guess cause everyone else was doing it.
There was nothing up there.
And I quickly discovered that the hike UP to the cave was not bad, but down was an ugly thing, full of bum scooting.

(Flip-flops are not a suitable choice in Arches.)
Then we decided that since we were in Arches, we may as well take on the hike to see "Delicate Arch."
(The best known Arch in the world!)
It was a three mile hike, round-trip.
The kids were grumbling a tad.
Here we are about half-way there.
You can see the unmistakable excitement on Shianne's face! Also note the teeny tiny cars in the background...it was high up on that mountain top.

We were huffing.
Then we passed an 80 year old lady with a walker.
I am not even kidding.
There were all types of people on the trail. Runners gliding up in spandex, moms with newborns in front carriers, and tons of foreign people there. We heard a lot of different languages in Arches. I can see why it is a tourist attraction.
The landscape is so very unique.

(About 800,000 people visit Arches each year.)
Finally we reached the top, where the Delicate Arch is.

It was awesomely cool.
I was glad we chanced upon an overcast day for the hike.
It was perfect to keep us cool.
I can't imagine hiking that thing in the heat of summer!
We goofed around a bit:

And then started the hike back down the mountain.
(Diet Mountain Dew and Beef Jerky is a surprisingly delightful combination.)

There were plenty of things to keep the kids occupied.
Climbing into rock pods:

(A whole group of oriental men were also taking pictures of my girls in the rocks.)
(??!?)

My boys refused to wear jackets, but chose instead to wrap blankets around their necks ala Superman.
Those boys just ain't right...

But they are easy to spot in a crowd. With the capes.

The wildlife did not disappoint. Lots of pretty things blooming despite the rocks, and heat that is sure to come.

Sadly we did not see any bighorn sheep or mountain lions.
("Looking for sheep is an exercise in patience," according to nature essayist Peter Steinhart, and "it's usually rhymed with disappointment." guidebook, page 6)
Good to know, Pete. Good to know.
We did, however, see this:
Some Indian Petrogylphs.

And Jayden took this picture:

Our next stop was "Landscape Arch."
Our kids were not about to hike anymore.
I told them we would just walk until I could get a picture.
1.5 miles later...

(In 1991, a rock slab 60 feet long, 11 feet wide and 4 feet thick, fell from the underside of Landscape Arch.)
There was plenty to see on the hike.
And it was a flat, smooth path.

And we played my favorite game!
We would see a tourist group coming (bonus points if they were foreign) and we would stop and everyone in the family would point at...nothing. I would pretend to take pictures. When the group of people reached the area that we were "pointing out" they would stop and look. And look. And consult their guidebooks. And look...
The kids thought it was hysterical.
We are idiots like that.
There were gorgeous views:

And that was pretty much it.
We finished up, and drove for home, with one pit stop in Price to eat some late lunch/early dinner.
(Price will be having a Cinco De Mayo Celebration....MAY 7TH!!)
We got home in time for me to throw some red sand caked laundry in so that the kids would have britches to wear to school the next day.
All in all, we give Arches two thumbs up.

This too shall pass....

A Better Post Will Be Forthcoming

Thrift Store Shopping.

About Customer Service and Christmas Money

Hello 2012!

Choose the Right

Tapering Off the Sugar Makes Me Grouchy.

Christmas Wrap-up

December Greetings!

Pinterest is my Mistress.

A winner!

Echo Park and May Arts

I am so screwed.

Three wise suggestions.

A Strangely Awesome Week.

Heads Up.

Yesterday was Halloween.

Leaves, Candy, and Ideas.

Forgive my depressing ramblings...

My Recipes

Here's the punch-line: "Hobby Lobby."

em·bel·lish·ment /ɛmˈbɛlɪʃmənt/ Show Spelled[em-bel-ish-muhnt]

I am blaming Walmart.

Mini-Me.

Core'dinations + Spellbinders = LOVE.

Don't Panic.

"Fair" Warning

Mini-album made from a dollar store compact: Tutorial

So long, motivation.

Creamy Peanut Butter Fudge

Ingredients

My Studio: A Tour.

My Birthday. Not the worst day ever.

Tomorrow is MY BIRTHDAY!

Back to School!

Echo Park and Tombow Adhesives

It's a winner!

IDAHO: serenity now.

Echo Park Paper and The Twinery! Love.

Hello!

The Pits

Catchin' Up.

Tiger's Blood

Jen, come on down!

Sneak Peek

Do You Feel Lucky?

More Show and Tell

Show and Tell!

A Mid-Summer Memory

So long to a blurry June.

I am still here.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Pool Couture

It's Country Time!

Chores and Chairs.

Summer Is Only Good If You Are a School Teacher.

A Picture To Be Proud Of.

This is NOT in the Handbook.

Happy (Early) Mother's Day!

Like a Fish Out of Water

Next Year I Am All Over Hibernation.

Mikayla's Baptism

Arches National Park