Friday, August 10, 2007

867-5309

Yesterday, I got up and went walking with the walking group again.

I was feeling like I could get a jump on my day when I came back and the whole rest of the house was asleep, so I tip-toed around my sleeping darlings and gathered up some laundry. Man! I am a front-runner for Mother of the Year I am sure. I was even so efficient, I threw in the very shorts that I went walking in that morning.

I put the load in the dryer a bit later, and heard the ever-so-familiar "clunk-clunk-clunk" of something in a pocket that shouldn't be there. I checked all of Shayne's shorts. He is my rock collector, and that is what the clunk sounded like. I am a master of the clunks. I can tell in the other room what the object is. "Oooh, mama's got some change...sounds like a quarter, and two nickels..." Shayne's pockets were clean. Whoa, I was way off! I kept digging, until I came reluctantly to my own gym shorts, and pulled out my cell phone. Freshly bleached and oxy-cleaned.

So later that evening, we took a trip to the big city--to THE MALL. To replace the cell phones. Now, the amazing part here, is that this all happened in a timely manner. Normally, with Wadley luck, the whole washing of the phone thing would have happened the day after I got a new cell phone. Our contract goes two years, and it just so happened that the two years are NOW, and I was due for a new phone. SO TAKE THAT, FATE!

While at the mall. With all the kids. We walked around a bit. With all the kids. Everything has changed, of course since I used to go there quite a bit as a teen. And yet, oddly enough, THE CLOTHES ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!

It was like I never left.
They are bringing the 80's back.

I had heard this, and knew this in the back of my head, but to see it...was weird.

I was sort-of excited to see the leggings and long shirts, thinking I could finally wear something besides the horrible combo of low-rise pants, and too-short shirts. I have had such a frustrating past few years tugging and pulling as to not expose to the world my fluffy muffin-top that spills out over my pants where my waist used to be.

Then I got a good look at the leggings and long shirts of today. Leggings, okay. Tight, capri length, (no stir-ups yet). Check. Long shirts...um...also skin tight, and form fitting. Those ain't no 80's shirts. And they certainly aren't going to do a whole lot for hiding the flab-belt I have.

So yet again, it's a skinny girls world. Crap.

And I had to laugh too, cause I guess they brought back the whole turn-your-polo-shirt-collar-up thing too. I painfully remember that. I remember my grandma always folding it down for me, when she saw me with it up. And my aunts, and strangers on the street. I remember begging my mom to please, please just turn your collar up, you are wearing a polo shirt already, and just make it be cool. And I remember her telling me she thought it looked stupid that way, and mom's don't have to be cool.

It does look stupid.

And I had to physically step away from the teenagers with their collars up, cause I just wanted to go over and fold their collars down for them. It was like a compulsive reflex that I couldn't control. Like when you see a crooked picture in a strangers house, and you just want to FIX IT.

I guess I have become my mother. But with a new cell phone.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:09 AM

    You're more than stylin'...with that fanny pack and all. (snort).

    I should talk...I shop at Walmart in the Fat Lady department aka: 'Tents R Us'. Yea...I'm totally fab...uh huh. Or as Wendy always says; "They can't handle this 'Gravy Train'!"(double snort).

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  2. Girl - you crack me up! I hate those 80's fashions too...I already wore them once. Think they will bring back florescent colors?

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  3. too funny...i want some maternity parachute pants...that would be funny or maybe a little scary!! i'm such an 80s child, but think i'll pass on some of those fashions. {love the title song AND a-ha--fave 80s vid.}

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  4. I have a polo shirt, and wore it to a recent family even (it's updated and all, and my collar was down) and my mom giggled all day, "snicker, you are wearing a polo shirt. Snicker."

    In my defense, it did not have an alligator on it.

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  5. Anonymous7:16 PM

    Dude... we saw stirrup pants whilst visiting Chicago Nordstrom. Granted, they were in the Brass Plum, but they exist. It was a sad, sad day...

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  6. OMG _ I am so with you. I just took my niece and her girlfriend shopping. St first, I thought everything looked very 80's. I was wrong - so wrong. Because in the 80's - the top of my bra did not show - nor was it pink or green.

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  7. Anonymous5:27 PM

    When Haley and I were shopping at Nordy's last month, they DID have stirrup pants. Honestly, I love the 80s look, but for kids & teens. Me, not so much!

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