Meet my new niece.

This is Kathleen Elizabeth.
She will go by Katie. Or maybe Katy.

Either way, I think my sister made a pretty cute baby.
They say her husband helped too, but it doesn't look like it.
This baby is a clone of Shay.
I remember when Shay was a baby.
It is a little weird to look at Baby Katie, and see so much of her mother in her.
I hope she grows up just as bratty...
Every mom should have a kid just like them.

Baby Katie is not bratty.
She is very nice.
And photogenic.

She cries sometimes:

I don't blame her.
Remember these guys?

They are her older twin brothers.
Eighteen months old now.

They love her so much.
Like Lennie from "Of Mice and Men."
Good luck, Shay.

I'm taking the biggest nap ever.

I think my talk went well today.
I could not be more thrilled that it is over.
I was anxious and sick to my stomach this whole week...

I weighed in at Weight Watchers for the month on Saturday.
I was down two pounds.
Speaking in church is not the best diet plan ever, but it does work.

To be Six...

My baby had her sixth birthday this week.
Six?
She is SIX!!
I am pretty sure I just brought her home from the hospital.
Man, it sure goes fast.
I was actually glad to have her birthday finally here.
She has been counting down since Christmas.
The morning of her birthday she informed me that she wanted to wear a Princess crown to school.
So, feeding into her already ridiculously spoiled self, she and I went out and bought one before dropping her off to Kindergarten.
She bounced into school, like she usually does...a half skip/dance, and I noticed for the first time how long her legs have gotten.

As is tradition in our family, she got to choose where we ate dinner that night.
She chose (up)Chuck E. Cheese.
It is too bad that place is closed. (wink, wink)
She settled on Panda Express.
With a side order of Fruity Pebbles.

I love how easy six is.

She greeted everyone in the neighborhood with "It's my Birthday today, did you get me a present?"

I might have to try that one this year.

In other news, I think I have my church talk written.
I am still sick about it.
I will be so happy Sunday night, when it is all over.

It's funny how in life, sometimes days go slowly, but the years go by so fast.

Just say no.

Today I had an out-of-body experience.

A member of the Bishopric pulled me aside after sacrament meeting and asked me if I would speak in church next week.

My mind said "No."
Followed by a maniacal laugh and a long string of expletives.

My stomach actually got sick.
That "instantly" sick I have only read about, but didn't think existed.

And then, it was like I was floating above my body, (looking at my super-cute new necklace) and watched my traitor mouth tell him "Yes!"

What the crap?
Can I plead temporary insanity or something?
Maybe that is the reason I have gained weight lately too.
Cause traitor mouth waits until I am asleep and heads on down to the fridge for a snacky-snack.

I guess this is what I get for drawing attention to myself with a color-popping accessory like they told me to do in last month's Glamour.

I am going to have diarrhea all week.

Lobster Family, party of seven.

When I saw the weather forecast for Utah this last week, I cried.
I gnashed my teeth, and shook my fist at the sky!!

It was Spring Break for my kids, and all five of them would be home for the entire week.

Mother Nature was sending us snow.
Yep.
SNOW.
In April.

What a weird way to kick me when I am already down...more SNOW.
So we did what any free flight scoring family would do...
We got the "H" outta here.

We went to San Diego.
Where the sun still shines.

The first day was a little chilly, but we still went to the beach.
You know why?

CAUSE WE COULD.
And that night my Dad called and told me that we had made the right decision, cause it was snowing back at home.
You wanna see what we missed?

(I stole this picture off of my cousin Kim's blog, thanks Kim!)
Meanwhile, since snow is for suckers, this is what we were doing:

The boys built some mean sand castles.

The girls modeled the latest in seaweed sarongs.

Sam and I just hung out.
Watching the kids, and talking.
This was our attempt at a photo together.
Sam is mature like that.

That evening, we hooked up with our good friends, the Sadleirs who live in San Diego.
We have been friends with them since before we were married.
We had our kids at about the same time.
They have a daughter who is Jayden's age.
They kinda have a little thang going on.
And how cool would it be if the thang panned out, and we ended up related?
I can see the beauty of arranged marriages...
This is a layout I did three years ago of the two kids.
The bottom right hand photo is from when they were both just toddlers.
Their first kiss...
Awwwwww.

Here they are yesterday:
That slightly awkward, trying so hard to be cool, and NOT act like you like each other.
All the while both sets of parents mocking them.
This is one of the true joys of parenting.
The mocking.

The next day, we got up to spend the day at the beach.
I got up and went to the hotel gym.
Shut-up.
I know!
But I really wanted a guilt-free belgium waffle for breakfast.

We ate, and headed out for the beach.
It was warmer than the day before.
It was cool enough though, that we thought we didn't need sunscreen.
Besides, we were only staying for a couple of hours...

The wind was blowing, and it was slightly overcast.
The sun was really attracted to the pasty white folks.
With no sunscreen.
Not.
Making.
That.
Mistake.
Again.
We are all a beautiful shade of coral.
And one giant leap closer to skin cancer.
I realize that as parents, Sam and I are complete and utter morons.

Once we were nice and crispy, we took a drive down to La Jolla, and saw all the Pelicans?

(Big ugly birds.)
And the Sea Lions.

(Big Ugly Mini-Manatees.)
Then the kids explored the tide pools.
Covered in shirts and jackets.

They saw crabs and poked sticks into sea anemones to watch them close up.
Then we left for home.

The flight was a little painful on scorched backs and bottoms.

Glad to be home!
With Aloe Vera.

Sproing Break.

As part of our Girls Week while the boys were with Sam in Moab, I took Shianne and Mikayla over to "Jump On It."

This is a fun house type place that is stuffed into a warehouse in an industrial park.

They filled the warehouse with trampolines.

The trampolines are butted up against each other with cheap rugs and towels covering the metal outer rims of the tramps.

There are even a few trampolines leaned up against the walls, on the sides, so you can really crack your ankle good....AT AN ANGLE.

There are safety nets enclosing the area so you don't go sproinging off onto the cement floor.
Sproinging.
I bet that slips past spell check.

This whole adventure is a broken bone waiting to happen.
I already know of three kids who have ended up in the emergency room after a short visit to "Jump On It."

I am quite sure that this place is secretly sponsored by Selectmed.

It is still a really popular place, and was jam packed when we arrived in the early afternoon.

Like most tramp places, they charge by the hour, (<--see what I did there?) and I figured as soon as I hit the front door, that an hour was about all I was going to be able to take.

It smelled like feet.
And a spicy undertone of butt.

It was very loud.

My girls had their shoes and socks off before I could hastily scrawl their names on the "do not sue us" waiver.
Off they ran, half-crazed with glee!
Needless to say, the lighting was just as craptastic as the decor.

But since I am no longer concerned about getting good photos for scrapbooking, I really didn't care.
I wasn't even going to take pictures at all, until Mikayla asked me to.
What do you say when your kids ASK to be photographed?
You oblige.
Lucky the point and shoot was stuffed into the purse, covered in gum wrappers.

I sat back on the only chair up inside of the Dome of Death.
I was getting pummelled by foam balls.
It was going to be a long hour.
Until....
THIS.

There is a weight limit posted at "Jump On It."
Apparently they are a little lax on enforcing said limit.
This dude jumped heartily, and took the trampoline right down to the cement.
Sweaty Eddie just stood there.
In a hole.

Pretty soon, this dude on the staff came half running, and half skip-jumping over to the hole with some yellow hazard tape and some 2x4's to rope the busted up trampoline off with.

It took him about an hour to replace the trampoline.

In the mean time, everyone just sort-of jumped around the taped-off hole.
Sweaty Eddie felt compelled to confess to me, in my chair, and mention that he had busted through a trampoline.
(Like the whole place didn't already know.)

He said this with a measure of pride in his voice.

I told him I was sure glad it was a MAN that had happened to, because I am not sure if a woman---any woman would survive the self-esteem blow it would be to take down a trampoline.

I thanked him for the entertainment.

After my girls were good and worn out we left.

Good times had by all.

Too much of a good thing.

Costco avocados are far superior to the mangy grocery store versions.
They are large, and don't have a million "squeeze" bruises, from other shoppers.

The problem is, you have to buy them in a bag of six.
The whole bag is usually not quite ripe.
And then...they all ripen at the same time.

Last time this happened, we took that trip to Nauvoo.
Our flight left at the butt-crack of dawn, so at the last minute, I stuffed our avocados in the neighbor's mailbox.

I was sad.
I really wanted to eat them.

This time, Sam and I have been checking the avocados daily.
Dreaming of avocado sandwiches...

He left for Moab on Tuesday.
We have been waiting for them to get ripe for four days!

I wonder if really old people dare to even buy them?

Anyway, guess what?
They all got ripe yesterday.

Now I have six avocados to eat BY MYSELF.
I have been having a sandwich for lunch, and for dinner.
I have busted through 1 1/2 of them.

I really wish they would have spaced themselves out.

They are delish, but the pressure I am feeling from trying not to waste them almost overshadows the joy.

And speaking of too much of a good thing...I have kept the girls home from school for a "home" vacation, because the boys are gone to Moab with Sam.

It wasn't my best idea. (<--She says smiling through clenched teeth.)

Planning on a good week.

Remember how I quit scrapbooking?

Yeah, well I got a couple of cool, couldn't pass up, offers this last week.
I guess I am like the Michael Jordan of scrapbooking.
I retire.
I come back.
I retire again.
I try another hobby that I suck at.
And eventually I do commercials for Hanes.
Hanes? Call me!

Sam is taking the boys to Moab this week.
Annually, they head off for the hills to participate in Jeep! Safari! Week!
This event is basically an arena to roll your $30,000 jacked-up vehicle down the side of a mountain, with a beer-chugging crowd cheering you on.
But there are free tee-shirts!
Free bumper stickers.
Free Antenna balls.
And one very price-inflated hotel in town.

This hotel has a hot-tub, and a pool.
The whole greasy town comes in off the red dirt trails, covered with dust...and dunk themselves into the water.
By day two of Jeep! Safari! the water looks like Hot Cocoa.

Every year, my kids come home sporting bags of useless free swag, and ear infections.

Me and the girls stay home for a Girl's! Week!
I am anticipating a relaxing, (school sluffing) time.
Free of farting.
Free of Halo.
Free of Justice League.

There will be pedicures, and manicures.
Some fondue dipping and Twilight viewing.
There may even be a trip into the big city to The Mall.

It's going to be KRAZY. With a K.

In other news, I got a new cell phone.
I can't figure it out.
The owners manual is two inches thick.
I have been fumbling around with it, and learning very slowly.
Nothing makes me feel more like an old fart than new technology.
I still default back to my old phone for things like the alarm clock.

And speaking of old fart, I just discovered Malt O' Meal Maple and Brown Sugar.

Thanks to my friend Sarah, who scoured every store in the county to find this flavor, I picked up a box to see what the hype was.
And it is good.
Don't judge me.

Forget Hanes.
Malt O' Meal? Call me. (On my home phone.)

April F's Day.

Dear Mother Nature:
I do not think you are funny.
This crappy "A" snow better be GONE by the time I wake up from my nap.

Or else!!!!!!!

You should be afraid, Mother Nature.
Very afraid.
You already brought me your "other gift" yesterday.
I am not in the mood.
MELT IT OFF, lady.

Hygiene Fail.

Last night we had a family home evening (<--this is a Mormon practice where each monday night we set aside time to teach the kids life lessons. Or something. It ends with TREATS!)

So last night, Brendan, our ten year old gave the lesson.
It was on Reverence, and he did a fine job of pointing out how "No one in our family is quiet during church."
This is being taught by the boy who folds armies of tin-foil soldiers out of gum wrappers and battles every sunday during the sermon.
Then he issued the challenge of being quiet next week.

Incidentally next week is General Conference, and we watch all of our meetings on T.V.
I am not sure if he did that on purpose.
Brendan always finds some loophole.

I took a few minutes to add some learnin' to the evening.
I pulled out a diagram of some skin and gave a lesson on pimples.

My kids don't believe in washing their faces.
All of them, even the five year old have had tiny baby zits on their cheeks at times.
I explained it all, and I gave them the challenge to WASH.
Ugh.
Why do we even have to have these conversations?
Every night they are supposed to brush their teeth.
I am leery of that one going down.
Especially since the new toothbrushes they recently got are still in their blister packages.

They are also supposed to wash their hands and faces.
I knew that one was foreign when my nine year old said "Well, what if there is nothing to wipe off of your face?"

Correct bum-wiping techniques are often disregarded as well.
That is evidenced by the Lady Who Does the Laundry.

Sam's kids are gross.

Choices.

Recently I have had this habit of ending my night sitting on the couch, watching The Biggest Loser re-runs while mindlessly stuffing my face with Cheetos and Milk Duds.

The irony is not lost on me.

I am also up five pounds.
I am working on that.

Tonight I was sitting on the couch drinking water, and avoiding the craving of anything calling to me from the pantry.

Sam works the graveyard shift tonight, so I was by myself, and I was dang glad.
I don't know what we ate today, but I have the worst gas ever.
And I confirmed via text that Sam does too.
(Sorry guys working with him!)
This is the type of gas that literally makes your stomach hurt, until it is released.

My couch companion tonight has been Febreeze Brazilian Carnaval.

I am glad Sam is not here, to witness, and also to be a contributor.

This reminds me of an age-old debate that we have had our whole marriage long.

I am in the camp that you can resist the urge to release gas, and your body will re-absorb the offending vapors.

Sam whole-heartedly believes that if gas is not released from the body, it can be dangerous, and can actually make you sick.

The only person Sam's gas has made sick is me.

So, where do you weigh in?
The NEED to release...or keep it to yourself?

Do me a favor?

My friend Michelle's daughter is a finalist in the Nick Jr. Super Fan contest.
It ends tonight, and holy crow...it is a close race, I mean close!
Your vote will definitely count.
If you go to the link, it will take you to the finalists.
You don't have to sign up, or type anything.
It literally takes a second to vote.
You can only vote once a day, and it ends tonight.
I would love to see them win this thing!
When you hit the link, scroll over to this picture, click on it, and then hit vote.
LINK IS HERE!<-------

Good luck Aliza!
Hope you get to meet Dora!

Thanks blog friends! :)

Can you scoot down a little more?

I am overdue to go to the "lady" doctor for my annual check-up.

Truth be told, I am about 2 years overdue.
And last time I went, a certain test came back pre-cancerous.
Also, I was riding the line for a thyroid disorder.

Honestly though...one of the "symptoms" of thyroid disorder is "rapid weight loss."
What person in their right mind is going to make an appointment and go into the doctor to FIX THAT?
Really?
"Hey, Doc...I guess you should know, even with my diet of Cadbury Mini-Eggs and Batter Fried sticks of butter, the weight keeps melting off...I am worried..."

I don't have that symptom.

I get that I need to go in.
But I still don't want to.
Even after five children, and roughly 513 medical personnel seeing my bits, it still just makes me shudder.

With my newly unemployed status, I am trying to get myself organized.
Taking care of business!
Cleaning ovens!
Purging closets!
Checking things off THE LIST!
It is on my list to make that call.

Too bad they are closed until Monday.
Tee-hee...

unemployed.

Yesterday was a momentous day for me.

I quit all of my design teams.
Okay, I still kept Quickutz.

For the past year, I have been trying to keep it all together.
Scrapbooking used to be a hobby for me.
Something I looked forward to, and loved.
Then as I was asked to join different design teams, I felt so lucky---to get paid for my hobby.
As time went on, I started to dislike it.
And this year...I burned out.
I think it will be a long time before I want to scrap again.

I think the pressure of constant deadlines, and time spent in my studio on weekends, while my kids entertained themselves with a Redbox flick, finally took its toll.

This was my life for five years.

They say there is a time and season for everything.

I might pick it back up sometime.

I am not going to lie...I am going to miss the money.
I am going to miss the freedom of just buying a new couch, 'cause I want one.
And having extra money socked away to take a family vacation.
I will miss the brownie man (UPS truck) dropping off big boxes of new product.
The smell of fresh ink on brand new paper...sigh...

But last night, after I had sent my resignation e-mails out, I started picking up the studio, and thinking about what I was going to do this weekend, without anything to work on...

I was giddy!
I thought about taking the kids to the dollar movies, and impromptu dinner sandwiches at the park, and reading scary stories by flashlight, snuggled up in a quilt...

There are things that money can't buy.
And boxes of free product just aren't worth.

Nauvoo in pictures.

Here is a pictoral review of our trip to Nauvoo.
I noticed when I downloaded the photos that they are pretty craptastic. Really grainy, a lot of them, I think cause I was shooting indoors without the flash.
Oh well.
This was probably one of my favorite photos in the batch.
This is my dad, and Mikayla.
My parents had five girls...me, and my four sisters.
As a result of all of us girls, as a matter of survival on sunday mornings, my dad is no stranger to a hair-dryer or curling iron.
He's still got it.
Here is is getting Mikayla ready our first morning in Nauvoo.

We started out in the visitors center, and they suggested a Conestoga wagon ride around Old Nauvoo, to get a feel for where everything was located.
It was pretty cold that morning.
They provided everyone with quilts to snuggle up in.

Did I mention it was cold?

When the ride was finished, we were happy to go inside.
Our first stop was a Living Center, where they demonstrated a lot of the day-to-day tasks the early settlers in the area would have performed. They had a lot of hands-on things for the kids to try.
Here we learned how to card wool.
Now my boys are fully capable of making their own socks for the next winter scout camp-out.

Then, we learned how to make rag rugs on a loom.
In all of the homes we toured in Old Nauvoo, these rag rugs were on the floors. Colorful, yes? I liked them.

Then the kids learned how to make rope from strands of jute.
Later, we used those ropes to hog-tie them in the trunk of the van.
The irony of them making their own ropes...and they look so happy...

Then we watched this man...who was at least 107 years old, hammer out a horse-shoe right in front of us. Yep. Iron in the fire...red poker hot...my boys were completely fascinated.
Fire.
Danger.
Forging your own weapons!

The smoke from the forge made pretty sunbeams, and I also thought it was funny that they grew a butt-load of Aloe Vera in this particular house.
Second Degree burns anyone?

We got up early the next day and drove to the town of Carthage.
This is where Carthage jail still stands.
This jail was where Joseph Smith (the first prophet of the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) was martyred in 1844.
There are bullet holes still in the original door to the jail.
There is such a sad, reverent feeling in the jail.

This is Mikayla sitting in the very window that the prophet fell out of, after he was shot and killed.

Here is our token group shot, in the jail room. See the pretty rug?
I could totally make that. HA!

This photo is of the Smith family cemetery, where Joseph, and many of his family members are buried.

The rest of the photos are highlights from some of the houses we were able to go through in Old Nauvoo. They are original to the 1800's and the architecture was very cool. Thick walls, wide plank wooden floors, and antique furnishings that were true to that time period.

Here is a potty chair:

A hand pieced "crazy" quilt:

A spice tin, and other kitchen implements:

Oh, and one of my most favorite things...this rocking bench, that had a place to lay a baby, so mom can rock the baby, but have her hands free for the remote!
Okay...I think they actually had to knit or something.
It was still genious.
I didn't get a photo of it, but in one of the houses, they had a similar rocking bench with a butter churn on the bottom, so you could rock the baby, and churn butter!
Old fashioned multi-tasking!
And quite possible the precursory to driving AND talking on a cell-phone.

Here is Shianne in one of the nurseries of a fancier home.

We took another wagon ride that went further into town, and had beautiful views of the Mississippi river:

The poor draft horses that took us, really got a workout. It was muddy, and the pullin' was rough.

Look how sweaty these guys are!
It was like horse boot-camp for them.
I hope they got extra carrots, or whatever.

We were able to attend the Nauvoo temple while we were there too.
It was beautiful!

And that pretty much sums it up.
I am going to hurry and post this, because blogger is being weird, and it took half the afternoon to upload the freaking pictures...
Also spell check isn't working.