Knee deep...

...in laundry and photo editing.

And hopped up on cold meds.

Here are a few photos from the rain forest in Puerto Rico.
Happy Thursday!!

I'm home.

This past weekend was the Utah Education Association (UEA) weekend. Which basically means the kids were out of school, so Sam and I had the bright idea to take off on a quick vacay with the offspring. We dragged my Mom and Dad along with us, and flew away to Puerto Rico.

I am telling you--this was the coolest place I have ever been. Beautiful! And there is a rain forest in Puerto Rico. I have always dreamed of seeing a rain forest, and it was freaking awesome! Dense and green and lush. Saturated. That was the word that kept coming to my mind. You know when you edit photos in Photoshop, and you keep adding color until it almost looks unnatural...that was this rain forest. And the earthy smell, and the thick stillness. It was one of those "wish I could bottle this up and save some for later" moments. Sometimes just pictures and words alone don't do justice to an experience like that.

The beach was gorgeous. The colors of the whole island, and the people, and the local food...such a great place. Sensory overload. We plan on going back.

Some point in the middle of the trip I caught a cold. I feel like dog-crap. Just completely drained. And a cancelled flight, and Sam ditching me with all five kids. No luggage. Needing a vacation from our vacation.

I just wanted to check in. More later. Need to pack my oldest for Clear Creek (a 5th grade over-nighter...yipee!!)

Still running.

I went running again this morning. Hurt my knee again. Dang! I am really bummed.

I dropped down to one mile last week, and did fine, so I bumped it up to three this morning...

A few of you have asked about my iPod playlist I like to run with. So, here it is. A rather eclectic mix, but works for me. The beat is particularly great for use while LIMPING HOME.


Shauntes Songs to get you MOVING!!
(1) Baby One More Time
(2) Oops I Did It Again
(3) Lucky
(4) I’m a Slave for You
(5) Stronger
(6) Toxic
These first songs are Britney Spears. I am a closet fan. Yes, she is skanky. But dang if her music doesn’t get you moving! My dance moves could use some work. You could skip them if you wanted- but give them a chance if you haven’t relived your high school drill team years recently. Could be toxic.
(7) Strip
A classic by Adam Ant. A two hit wonder- he also did Goody Two Shoes. “…we’re just following ancient history…if I Strip for you, will you Strip for me….” Yeah, but only in pitch black with maybe one tea-light.
(8)You Sexy Thing-Hot Chocolate
A little 70’s number. I sometimes have to fight with myself, because it is so tempting to stop for a minute and just "do the hustle" right there on the street corner.
(9) Hey Baby
(10) Hella Good
Two in a row from No Doubt. The first being Shiannes favorite song. She insisted. And the second I think it a Gold’s Gym staple. I have never gone there when they haven’t played it. Brings back fond memories of me sweating my balls off on the Elliptical machine.
(11) Cotton Eyed-Joe-RedNex (their real name)
In my opinion, Country music at its best. Tim McGraw ain't got nothin' on the RedNex.
(12) Whenever, Whatever
(13) Ojos Asi
A little ethnic flavor from Shakira. Also, because on the first song-my favorite line…”lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse then with mountains.” I can relate...
(14) Peek-A-Boo-Siouxie and the Banshees
I don’t care who you are- this is a great song. One of my faves from High School. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I listened close and realized the song is talking about a lonely prostitute that gives, um...satisfaction to very specific body parts.
(15) 99 Luftballoons-Nena
This is the German version. Sometimes I sing along, and I think my accent is getting pretty good.
(16) Holding Out for a Hero-Bonnie Tyler
And aren’t we all still holding out? Where have all the good men gone? Were there any to begin with?
(17) Come On Eileen-Dexy’s Midnight Runners
Oh yeah. What a great song. If this song doesn’t make you want to go out and buy some new lingerie you need your hormone levels checked.
(18) Solsbury Hill
(19) Sometimes
This list wouldn’t be right without a little Erasure- the greatest band ever. I put it on the end of the list for the grand finale. They rock.

So there it is. My current playlist.

Cuckoo-Nut alert.

Last night I dreamed I went to an Erasure concert, well, a dress-rehearsal concert, actually. It was at my old high school, and all my high school friends were there, but older and fatter and a little wrinkly, like we are now.

I took Mikayla with me...and Andy Bell kept pulling her up in the stage to help him out. She was so cute, she had pink pants on and piggy tails.

It was a great dream. The concert was awesome! They did all my favorites. But we couldn't clap, you know, cause it was a dress-rehearsal.

Man, someone really needs to get out more.

House stuff.

Well, this last week has been insulation week. A boring step, but a necessary one, especially with the cold Utah weather rolling in.

Sam has been working two jobs, one a graveyard shift, so he is rarely home, which leaves him scratching his head to my frequent break-downs.

"Honey, when the boys pee, it freezes before it hits the bowl. When did you say the insulation was coming?" (this of course muffled by my sweatsuit and parka)

My dishwasher chops food particles into a fine mist and sprays them evenly over all the dishes in the cycle.

The doorbell isn't hooked up. No one knows this, and stands on my porch, ringing and ringing, until telepathically I feel them there.

My washer is possessed by the devil. Periodically it just stops, for no apparent reason, and I have to slam my fist down on the lid in the top left-hand corner to get it going again. The repair man came out, and it worked like a charm for him.

These are things I work around. But Tuesday took the cake. I had some insulation guys show up. Sam had gotten home at 4:30 am and was in bed. So I answered the door. They were a couple of hispanic workers. I have no problem with this, I *do* however have a problem with the fact that they didn't understand a word I was saying to them. They looked at me with that doe-eyed blank look, and then turned to each other and rattled something off in Spanish.

I am racking my brain trying to conjure up Spanish words that I know. I can count, and I know the months of the year, and how to say things not remotely related to "garage" or "power source" or "in addition to the original bid." Nothing is helpful. I tried hand-gestures and pointing...and finally, defeated, I went up and woke Sam, who speaks fluent Spanish.

He got dressed, and stumbled down, bleary-eyed.

Ten minutes later he came back upstairs.

"Why didn't you just tell them to open the garage, and start on the back wall?"
"Because I don't speak Spanish."
"Well, they were speaking English to me."

Whaaaaa?
They were playing DUMB with me??

Back that bus up.

Sam started out speaking Spanish, and that broke the ice, I guess, and made them remember that they really do understand and speak the English language.

It made me mad. So I left. I wandered around Target, and Costco, and the local scrapbook store. And then stopped in my Mom's house to kill more time.

And when I came home, the insulation was done.

And I have some new dishcloths and a pair of shoes and some Fancy Pants chipboard letters.


Que tenga un buen día!

Dirt Cheap.

I can't see how they would be making any money with these prices...

If you have ever been curious about the Clikit (an eyelet setting tool) now is the time to buy one. Last year they came out with the Jumbo eyelets (on clearance too) and the Jumbo adapter. Didn't think I would be doing eyelets again, but I love the huge ones! They have sayings around the perimeter.

Here is the link:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=4&pg=products&grp=633

Don't forget to check out what is left of the mini-chipboard albums. (For $1.50!)
Here:
http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=373


If your order is over fifty bucks, the whole thing ships free. I hate paying for shipping...

Happy Shopping, heh, heh.

Imaginisce

I have been doing a few layouts for the Imaginisce booth at Memory Trends. I really love working with their product. Lots of shiny embellishments, perfect for my inner squirrel!

Want to see?

So...that is what I have been up to. I have completed 67 layouts in about three weeks. Last night I designed a mini-album for a class, and today I am waiting for a package so I can design a calendar. You know what? As much as I love it...

...If I don't happen to see a paper trimmer until the CHA Winter rush in December, I don't think I will be sad.

Socks.

I used to have a few pairs of those bootie socks with pom-poms on the back, right where your heel goes. It was in Junior High, and quite fashionable, I believe. Of course, this was right during the height of LA Gear High-top popularity, and it was such a bad mix.

I remember hitting gym, and I either stuffed the pom-poms into the high-top, thus causing a painful lump right over my Achilles tendon, or I would simply and sadly yank the pom-pom off. This caused another major problem...When I would run, the stupid bootie sock, stripped of apparently the only elastic woven into it (when the pom-pom was severed) would gradually slide down into the shoe, and end up being balled up towards my toe. It still makes me frustrated just thinking about it. I called them creepers.

Sometimes I didn't even have clean socks to wear. Growing up in a family of five girls, anything left unattended was fair game. Bra's, shirts, chocolate, and yes, socks.

And we wore the socks, until literally I think they disintegrated into a puff of lint. What I hated more than the creepers were the quitters. The socks that lost the elastic up top, and when you walked, would creep down your leg, and hang out the bottoms of your pegged jeans. Pull them up...Down they slide. Pull, slide, pull, slide. All day long. Some genious that had a drawer full of quitters, started the "roll two nested pairs of socks down to the top of your LA Gears", just make sure they exactly match your off the shoulder Flashdance sweatshirt.

This was the beginning of my sock obsession.

When I got my first job, I started buying Hanes Crew length white in those bulk packages. No sliding down. Enough elastic everywhere to gently cup your foot. I was in heaven. And I hid them, from my sisters.

There is nothing like a new pair of socks, right out of the package. No stains, or stretchy bulges. Thick cottony goodness. No quitters or creepers.

I still wear Hanes Crew length. When they start to show signs of quitting, I retire them. I know they aren't in style. Everyone else is wearing No-Show booties again.

HA! I scoff at you.

Irony.

Sam bought me an iPod for my birthday. I love this thing! I am an 80's girl to be sure, and I love that I can pour all my [now vintage] classics into a teeny portable player.

I picked up running again. Got me one of those [extra large] tourniquet-type arm straps, and go out almost every morning. Before you roll your eyeballs...keep reading...

I have not been a real fan of running. But then again, I don't like exercise in general. I wish I did. I wish I was like those people who loooove a good game of tennis or soft-ball. But I am not. I hate the sweating, and the being tired, and the little voice inside my head that says "this is stupid, just quit. For the love of PETE, QUIT." And I always listen to the voice--the same voice that thinks since cookies have eggs and milk and flour in them, they are a suitable breakfast item.

Since the iPod, I actually enjoy the running. The 80's tunes, the fresh air, the thinking and planning of the day. I am up to 3 miles. Which, really, isn't terrible. I mean, I am not ever going to do the marathon thing, so I am okay with 3 miles. I look forward to the running--and the playlists I make for the running.

So I am thinking this could be it. The exercise that I like to do. And I am feeling pretty pumped about it during mile two, and then...

...my knee blows out. Seriously. If I would have had my cell phone with me, I would have made someone come pick my dumb butt up. As it were, I had to limp home. All day long my knee has been in pain. Not serious, but that up and down stairs takes a long time pain. Getting old sucks.

Irony. That I struggle with exercise, but do it anyway, and I am fine. Then once I find something I like...I can't do it.

I think it is God's way of telling me to just stay fluffy.

SInce it is now up on the Karen Foster site....

I am going to sneak peek a couple of layouts I did using the brand new product that will debut at Memory Trends. The second is from the Little Girl collection. Pinky and happy. The first is from the funky new Christmas collection. You can see the rest of the collection as well as all the other new releases here:

http://http://www.karenfosterdesign.com/tek9.asp?pg=products

And if you happen upon the home page, they are featuring my layout. Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week....

I just finished up 36 layouts using nine of the new lines! Whew! And they went postal today. I hope they make it there, it was hard to part with my "babies." I would just die if that box got lost somewhere.

Major cleaning day here. Everything is in shambles since the scrapbooking frenzy. Things smell funky and everything.

Update on the house...we have a four-way inspection on Monday, when that passes, we get insulation and sheetrock! YAY! There is a light, a faint light, at the end of this sawdust spewing tunnel. Can't wait to get settled in. I am getting excited. I need to start picking out some cool paint combos---any suggestions?

I am still here.

This is sad on so many levels.

First of all, cause this is my current scrap space. A Lifetime folding banquet table. It is in the kitchen, right in the main drag.

I am feverishly working on Memory Trends deadlines. Occasionally I have to cook food for the others that live here, and then I am a nervous wreck...."DON'T YOU FLING THAT CARROT!" This I say huddled over my pile of sacred scraps. Most nights I try to get away with putting a vitamin in their pocket, and sending them out to see what the neighbors are having for dinner. Mommy has work to do! And Mommy's job sends us all on vacations.

The second sadness of the photo is that I have workers in and out of the house due to the never-ending remodel that is still going on. And I know, they think I am a lunatic. I get up, send the kids off, and start a project, then I break, shower, and I am at it again. I feel like I need to explain myself. This is my "job." Cutting and pasting and drinking Mountain Dew by the two liter bottle. This is my job. But I just don't say anything, unless they need to scoot my table-studio to reach something. Or drop sawdust on me.

The next sad thing about the picture is that what you are looking at was after I cleaned up. I am the worlds messiest. Period. Somewhere in that stack is a child I am sure, probably looking for that carrot.

Anyway, back at it. 24 down, and twelve more to go...and then another manufacturer. If I didn't love what I did, I would be overwhelmed...but it is so fun, to play with new product.

Love my job.

Some good signs.

You know that I collect pictures of signs that make us laugh when I travel, and San Diego provided us with a few. They *may* have just been funny to us, what with our fine nights sleep on a motel 6 bed/rock, the five arguing kids in the back of a van, and lack of caffeine.

We had many dirty jokes that centered around the "Tickled Trout." The hair place looks like something straight out of a SNL skit. And who, seriously is the stick figure artist, cause they are a guaranteed laugh almost every time.

Anyway, just thought I would share.

Just a quick note.

I am still here, and alive and well. I guess I am not well, actually. I have a stupid cold thing, sinus, sneezing watery eyes, sore throat and body aches.

I am hoping I've contracted the West Nile Virus, cause I heard they are paying big bucks for people who have lived through that, and can give blood for them to study. HA!

Anyway....we got back from San Diego yesterday. More fun than you can shake a stick at. Whatever that means.

The kids! First time on a plane.
First time on a beach.
Good stuff.

I took a lot of pictures which need editing, and I am just starting the mad rush of layout assignments for Memory Trends, so please bear with me while I ignore this blog for a bit.


For your boredom relief...one of my favorite time-wasting sites.

http://www.husnain.com/budlight.htm

Might I suggest, in honor of my recent trip to the beach..."Mr. Paranoid of the Ocean Guy." Cause that is me, a little frightened of what lies beneath emphasized by the tickly sea grass.

TV watching.

Sam watches golf on TV every Sunday.

There really is nothing worse. And it goes on….and on….When they break for commercials, he switches the channel to the Bowling tournament. (Oh yes. He does.)

Sometimes I make dirty comments. (whispering like those stupid commentators) “Oooo, looks like he used his steel shaft for that hole” (polite clapping) Heh, heh. Sam is never amused.

One day, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Honey, is something else on?”
“Like what?”
“Anything.”
“I want to watch this.”

“Well, don’t you think if we are both watching TV together, maybe we could try to find something we are both interested in. I never watch TV, the least you could do is find a movie or something?”

“Are you kidding me? Did you happen to forget the YEAR you were obsessed with Trading Spaces, and never once did I complain when I had to watch that freak Frank sponge-paint whimsical borders or that ding-dong Doug and his big nose. (Good gads…he knew their names…) And just last week I didn’t say a word when you subjected me to a RIVETING hour long COOKIE BAKE-OFF on the Food Network! The Food Network….”(shaking head in disbelief)

Touché.

Labor Day weekend.

We went on an impromptu camping trip for labor day weekend. We dragged my mom and dad along with us.

We went to a spot up American Fork Canyon called Forest Lake. It is accessible only by off-road vehicles. We had to take the Jeep up. My husband, and my kids love taking the Jeep. Sam goes every year to Jeep Safari weekend in Moab. They love it!

I don't like the Jeep. I hate my hair in my face and my eyes and my mouth. I can't take the dust and the heat. But more than that, I don't like the hairy trails that we go on. And really, I don't understand why Sam felt compelled to take this trip. His Jeep isn't fixed from his last fiasco. It is technically only a two wheel drive right now, and with some thing-a-ma-bob he put on the wheels, it is only a one wheel drive. He explained the thing-a-ma-bob to me in great detail, and for survival purposes I blocked him out. Jeep talk is worse than an insurance salesman droning on....and on....and on....


Sure enough, about half way there, Sam scraped over a boulder and dropped his driveline. After we got it fixed, we had my dad tow us through the rest of the bad spots. Don't tell Sam I told you that. Somehow, being towed by someone else is damaging to your manhood.

We got there, and my mom and I threw tinfoil dinners in the fire while the men set up the tent. The tinfoil dinners were good. At least most of them. A couple were a little over-cooked and the meat was "butt-hard"--Jayden, 10.

One roasted hot-dog per year is all my arteries will allow.
Nothing like a good toasted marshmallow, though. I ate plenty of those.

They proceeded to blow up the air mattresses, one of which had a hole. Heeeeere is your bed, kids! Heh, heh. We went to bed, not to sleep, but to freeze all night...The joys. Not to mention, when Sam rolled over, it would literally fling me, and sharing a sleeping bag with a man is never recommended--what with the fondling and the gas.

The next morning the kids put their swimming suits on and waded all day in the disease infested puddle of a lake. It is quite pretty from a distance, but when you get closer, it is thick and green, and full of these slimy hideous creatures. We called them newts, but some other little boy who was there with his family called them salamanders. I am not really sure what they are. They were half fish and half lizard. So glad I brought hand sanitizer and wipes.

"Mom, here is how you catch a newt. You look at the water, and you see it turn into rings, then you look in the middle of the rings, and there will be a newt, wobbling. Then you can just grab it, it won't try to escape, cause they are kinda dumb."--Shayne, 7.

I am not a clean freak by any means. But one day and one night of camping is all I can muster. The next morning I was packing up as soon as I got up. All I kept thinking of was a hot shower. I am so not pioneer material. Neither is my mom. She hadn't been camping for 20 years. It had only been about 10 for me. I don't think either one of us is sad about what we might have missed out on all these years.

So, today...I am still doing the laundry from the camping trip. Shianne left her good leather sandals "behind that tall gray rock." I am still digesting that hot dog, and I still have dirt in my nose, which manifests itself each time I blow.

Good holiday weekend fun had by almost all.

My collection.

I don't know what any of this crap is.

You know, the whole house remodel thing is still going on. And each time one of the subs leave, I go around and try to tidy up a bit. I throw away their half-empty drink bottles, and lunch wrappers, and occasionally I find something to add to my collection, part of which is above. I don't know what any of it is. I don't know if it is important, or if I should be concerned that it wasn't replaced where it originally belonged. I just toss it all into "the box", which is becoming quite heavy.

I am discouraged. I am sick of nothing working. I am tired of plugging my curling iron into a shop light cord. My garbage disposal used to be on a switch, now that switch turns on a light, and I have no idea which switch will flip the disposal on. Each time I flip a switch or turn on water it is a crap shoot. I never know what is going on.

My washer was a disaster. It was hooked up, which was great considering the kids had resorted to wearing things out of my closet. "It's ready to go" they told me. So I waited until everyone left to unveil the embarrassing heaping pile of filth. I loaded the machine, and off it went! Granted, there is no hot water hooked up, but cold is good, when you are desperate.

I am sitting next to the machine, fascinated that it really is working and then, it begins to drain. And it sounds funny...but then again, I have never sat next to the machine listening to it work. And the water level rises, and I can hear it bubble up, and then it comes spewing out of a hole in the wall. I turn the valve off, and lift the lid of the machine, and call Sam.

"Dude. The washer just flooded the basement."
"Are you kidding?"
"Yeah, not much else going on tonight"

So I have to leave it, until the next day when he can look at it. Apparently when the line is installed it has a plug in it, that needs to be removed upon inspection.

Remember when they told me "It's ready to go?"

I guess in man-talk, that is not a literal phrase. That means, theoretically it *could* go, but needs more work before it WON'T FLOOD YOUR BASEMENT.

So today is apparently my 34th birthday. All this past year I have thought I was 32, and would be turning 33, but I guess not. I figured that one out last night when I was making my own birthday cake at quarter to eleven at night. I did the math, well, actually my ten year old did, and he is pretty good at math....

So I guess technically, I lost a whole year today.

Par for the course, cause I think birthdays suck anyway.

On a lighter note, I found out that high-waisted pants are back in. That means my whole stay at home mom wardrobe just got *that* much more valuable.

We love animals.

"Mom, when do you think that Fluffy will pass away?"

Totally cracked me up in that I-can't-laugh-out-loud-cause-he is-serious kind of way...cause what seven year old kid says "pass away"??!

" Well, Shayne, the pet store man told me guinea pigs live about five years, and we have had fluffy for a little over a year, so I guess another four years or so."

I am so not a pet person. My kids begged....I did the research. I did not need an animal with a life expectancy of more than five years. When the novelty wears off, it becomes mom's responsibility. Dogs-no. Cats-no. Hamsters--look too much like the mice that occasionally send me into cold sweats of FEAR. Fish-ideal, but been there, flushed that. Thus, the guinea pig.


"Why, honey?"

Thinking this will sprout into one of those touching, Hallmark moments.

"I was just thinking about other new pets we can have when Fluffy is done."

Cool shirts.

It is a dream come true, for a scrapper, to be on a design team, and have new product, AWESOME product shipped right to your door to scrap with, whenever your little heart desires.

Karen Foster has been so good to me. I love the product, love the people I get to work with. It seems like they are mind-readers sometimes, I think "it would be nice to have a paper line for all my camping pictures" and they come out with it. And the rhinestone brads---we all know how I feel about those. They are coming out with something at Memory Trends that I am dying for....when I can spill it I will, but keep your eyes open...

I am content.
I am happy.
Karen Foster fulfills all my needs(--scrapwise.)

And now, my fine readers--they have branched out into clothing. Shirts I never knew that I always wanted. Cool scrap shirts. Doodly coolness. They are the thick tee-shirts. This baby will stand up to all my post-crop washings! Heh, heh..

You can see them and order them here:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=1&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=554

If they made sweat pants I would think I had died and gone to heaven.

I could get into this...

My new gym routine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

(Thanks Pam!)

Happy Friday everyone!

I am sorry for the frightening photo in the last post. I thought it was funny, but Sam said that is the stuff nightmares are made of.

My thought today is:

Who came up with the sound the dryer makes when a load is done? It has to be the RUDEST sound I have ever heard. And annoying. And truly, it makes me a little mad. I am going about my day, or watching a show, or on the phone--or simply lost in my own thoughts, and.......

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECKKKKKKKK! (cometakecareofmeRIGHTNOW)

Why didn't they put some type of a pretty chime in there? Something nice.

I hate that sound.

smile.

The backpacks are filled, the hair is combed, the breakfast is eaten.....
...and they are OFFFFF!!!

Suddenly, the sun is shining brighter, the birds are singing in the trees....the day is full of limitless possiblilities.

My toddler is still asleep.

I have the whole house to myself!

I am giddy. Six hours. Tra-la-la-la-la...

Happy First Day of School!!

Getting back on the wagon.

Since the whole house remodel, I have fallen off the Gym wagon. I kept going the first part of summer, and had grand intentions of continuing, but finally, my hundred daily excuses won out. I have no willpower... none.

With the heat, and the busy-ness of summer, one would think that my weight would simply maintain itself, until I could get back to humiliating myself once again on a public treadmill.

But, no. I am quite sure I have gained, although, part of the house remodel included me moving the full-length mirror into the garage. And ditching the scale. I will ENJOY the summer this year, by darn!! I will not let my poor self-image hold me back from playing with my kids.


And enjoy it I did. I ate like I just escaped a concentration camp. We sat and watched a lot of great movies. We camped, and played, and splashed in the water. And I personally did a whole lot of nothing.

So, alas, the time has come for me and the gym to get reacquainted. I am not really excited about it. But, I am ready to feel healthier, and more in control, and have some energy that wasn't injected into my veins courtesy of Pepsi-Cola.

Wish me luck, and motivation. I'm going to need it.

School starts in...

Two days, 20 hours and 25 minutes.....

I think a lesser mom would feel sad about four of her five darlings leaving the home each day.

But, I, RMOTY (reigning mother of the year) know that one should be excited. Not because I will soon have six hours a day to myself, oh no, but because of the wonderful educational and social opportunity public school provides for my offspring. Heh, heh...

Top Ten Reasons School is Great:

10) The dance festival. Anytime I can subject my boys to slicking their hair back, putting on a button up shirt, and holding hands with a cootie-infested GIRL, all the while shuffling along supposedly following dance steps to "Achy Breaky Heart" that there is good stuff.

9) The Art work. Portraits of me drawn by my children have evolved from a perky stick person, to a more realistic blimp-like and slightly overweight housewife.

8) The essays. "What I Did this Summer" And didn't they do a horror movie based on this? I love reading about what they think were the highlights...."and then Mom screemd hur hed off when she see ar nu pet snak in the tub."

7) The silence. Oh the blessed, blessed silence. The first week my ears bleed in adjustment.

6) Lunch dates with friends, that do not include dragging the riff-raff, and paying for food that will get boxed up in styrofoam containers and eventually left stashed under the seat in the Suburban.

5) School Pictures. I love the traditional "say cheese" portrait, with the occasional cheeto-orange mouth because pictures were after lunch.

4) New stuff. Clothes, back-packs, friends.

3) That my kids start using toothpaste and soap again, cause their teacher told the whole class about a cool thing called "high-jean."

2) The phone calls from potential (girl)friends. "Hi, is Jayden there...(giggle, giggle) "Yeah, hold on...."(ohmygoshSHEISGETTINGHIM!!!) *Click*

1) Yes. The SIX GLORIOUS HOURS of mommy time. Sometimes it even includes a nap.



Top Ten Reasons School is Crap:

10) Homework. I graduated, and here I am, getting my GED again.

9) Making school lunches. Every night.

8) Waking up early. From a nocturnal family, this is such a huge and painful adjustment.

7) Reports and posters that are usually due the next day.

6) Parent/Teacher conferences. Do you think they purposefully sit you in the tiny chairs for intimidation purposes?

5) Finding shoes and clean socks. Just the thought has my blood pressure rising already.

4) Catching every cold/obnoxious phrase (I know you are, but what am I)/infection that comes down the pike.

3) The Maturation Program. I have a fifth-grader this year, and I am already dreading the "Talk."

2) The dramatics of the girl. The on and off again friendships. The eye-ball rolls. The "you just don't understand!!!" The bawling.

1) Cause I actually do miss them.

Enabler Alert

Karen Foster sent all the designers an e-mail this afternoon letting us in on this clearance deal they are running with this online site. We could share with friends and family....which would be YOU! Awesome deals! Chipboard mini-albums for $1.50......?!! And that is just *one* of the deals.....Stock up, cause when it is gone, it's gone. Here is the link!

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=1&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=525

Enjoy!!

And then there was light.

I have light again in the kitchen! I thought I was going to cry, when the electrician flipped the switch, and 60 watts burst into life.

He must have been able to finally see the half-crazed cave woman from under the glow of the single, miraculous electric bulb. Or maybe it was when all five of the half-naked native children came out of the woodwork to dance and pray thanksgiving.

Eeeeeee! Light!!

Either way he left in a hurry.

Feel Great with Fiber

*This blog entry brought to you courtesy of the back of the box of Kelloggs (insertcopywritethingie) All Bran with Yogurt Bites*

Digestive Health

The time is now to pay attention to your digestive system. Located in the center of our bodies, it affects everything, but you probably dn't acknowledge it unless something goes wrong. If you are feeling bloated, sluggish, rundown, out-of-sorts, or a simple bullet away from escaping your home remodel (okay, I added the last part..) your body and especially your digestive system may be trying to tell you something.

What Upsets the Digestive System?

*Stress- stressful situations (coughcoughhomeremodelcough), and in particular, continued(whenthehelldoesitend) stress may upset your digestive system.

*Maturity- With age, the environment in the colon changes (getsfreakingsquishedfromhavingbabiessitonit), which increases the need for fiber to keep it in balance. And remember to drink plenty of water. Or mountain dew.

*Diet- Certain foods, especially those rich in fat and protein (andchocolateandflavor) can upset your digestive system. Rushing meals and eating on the go can also have an effect. (?!!)


My friend Jenn (Hi, Jenn) turned me on to this cereal, and I am here to tell you that this stuff works. If you need help getting the party started, um, below--then grab a box of this stuff. It tastes okay. I mean, its not Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, but it doesn't taste like the box it comes in either.

Just look at the lady on the box. Arms crossed over bloated and painfully distended abdomen. Gassy? No doubt. Look at the pained expression on her face.... "Hurry and take the mother-freaking photo, I have more gas than the Texaco." Notice her breakfast companion. Casual. Happy. Probably did his "business" twice already, and it isn't even noon.

Fiber--are you getting enough?

The miracle.

One day the crane came back, to put the roof(s) back on the new addition. We had a large gathering, mostly family and my SAHM peeps that thought it would bring some variety to their otherwise ordinary day.

Sam and my Dad are up in the new addition. They are brandishing 2x4's like little kids under a pinata, pushing and turning the roof until it was finally in position.

Then all the spectators hear a pop. It sounded like a nail gun, but it was actually the cable HOLDING THE ROOF.....snapping. "That can't be good," my dad says, not really knowing what the sound was. The crane operator was white as a sheet. There was nothing that could be done, but to finish placing the roof. So they did.

They pulled the cable in. There are 7 strands of cable wrapped into one large twisted mass. Five of the seven strands had snapped. Two strands, about the size of juice box straws, were all that were holding the roof from crashing down on the new addition, my Dad, and my husband.

The cables are tested every year, to 48,000 pounds. They estimate my roof to weigh in at about 5000. It should have never, ever snapped.

Miracle? Yes.

Not only would I be out a husband and a dad, but who would have finished my broken-down house?!

Afterwards, Sam asked me if I was snapping pictures of the whole process, (which is really sort-of offensive, considering my job) and I said of course I was.

Him: "So, would you have kept taking pictures if the roof would have fallen on me"
Me: "Yeah, probably."
Him: "Would you have scrapbooked it?"
Me: "Well....out of respect, I probably would have waited a year, and then I would have done a mini-album."

Priorities, people.

I wish this day would just end already.

Today was a scorcher.

Ordinarily I would be camped out underneath the useless swamp cooler vent, thumbing through a magazine and waiting for the sun to go down so I don't have to chew my air...all the while cursing the fact that we don't have central air like normal folk.

But, with the whole remodel thing, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE LUXURY OF A STUPID SWAMP COOLER. Truly, this day has been a suck-fest.

We have no electricity in the main level. And today, the plumbers came. Suddenly, we had no water. With the timely rain that flooded my entire kitchen, I have the pungent odor of molding towels wafting through the sweltering air. Add that to the infestation of flies, which I am CONVINCED are Satan's minions... seriously, I am sitting on the couch, holding a fly swatter, and a fly actually chose to LAND on my mother-freaking LIP!! My LIP!! WTH? Did it want me to kill it? Cause you can bet your left one that I chased that thing around and sent its butt smashing through its head with the swatter.

The plumbers stuck a ladder up in front of the fridge, blocking off my Mountain Dew supply. I think that was the last straw.

You know, we have had several people, friends and neighbors that have offered us assistance..."If you need anything at all, just holler." I am pretty sure that would not include me and my five kids showing up at the doorstep to relieve our bowels in their toilets. Even if we do bring our own toilet paper. There are some lines that just aren't meant to be crossed in society.

So it's been a crappy day.

No pun intended.

A conversation

Standing in the bathroom, that has no electricity, and is illuminated by the scant natural light that is coming in from the hall...

Jayden (newly 10), just woke up(at 11), practically chipping the porcelain peeing in the toilet.

Me: Nice of you to finally wake up, lazy boy.
Him: Nice bad hair day.
Me: Nice morning breath.
Him: Nice cheek zit.

Pride exits, Mom follows.

Our Contractor

Here is our contractor. I call him Dad.

I didn't realize when I was a little girl what a commodity that was. I just knew each winter we had to haul scraps of leftover lumber from the work truck to our huge pile. And then nightly to haul it from the pile to the back door, for the fireplace in the family room, when all my priviledged friends basked in rooms heated by a furnace.

I knew that my Dad carried a lunch and a giant water thermos to work everyday, long before we were awake, and would return home after dark. Sometimes in snow, so cold--with biting wind that would cut through multiple clothing layers, and other times heat so dry and hot I don't know how he could bear it.

I remember taking drives in the evenings to check on a job site he was worried about. Sometimes he took us kids, and let us "help" him, handing him tools, and generally getting in his way the whole day.

I remember my parents struggling financially at times, but us kids never went without things we needed or wanted. We just knew when money was tight, cause Mom would make meals that used a lot of rice.

My Dad could do anything. Fix anything. I thought that was just what Dad's did.

He taught me to take pride in my work, to appreciate what I have. To dig in and do things right the first time. I didn't appreciate everything he taught me until I realized that not everyone was like that, like him--honest and hard-working.

It makes me smile to see his truck parked in front of my house. To see him, working at my own house. That my kids look forward to hopping on the roof to "help" him now. That my Shayne wants to be "a house builder like Grandpa Randy." Nothing would make me happier.

Thanks Dad. For everything. I will always be in debt to you. Love you--

Making more progress

This was what I found this morning. My babies up the ladder and up on the floor, which was what used to be the roof of our house. Oh mercy, I could barely help them down. And they had climbed the ladder in clogs!

Today the walls go up. Periodically I am paged to ask where I want windows to go, or if I want a closet smaller or bigger. Its getting fun now...and more real. I am sure by tonight I will be able to visualize the finished project.

We are not dying of heat inside any longer. The floor gives some shade. The flies are horrible, I am paying my kids a dollar for every ten flies they put down. HA!

My oldest had his birthday in the mess yesterday. He didn't seem to care at all. I told him I couldn't bear to bake a cake for him, so we went and bought all kinds of ice cream treats. Then, my good friend Wendy showed up, with a giant cake, and pizza too. There are times when a thank you just doesn't cut it. Thoughtfulness that goes beyond asking what you can do to help out. She anticipated a need, and quietly filled it. So grateful for her--making my ten year old feel extra special.

On a side note, I got to play with some papers from a brand new scrapbook company that debuted its stuff at CHA. Imaginisce. Look for the, people, they are going to be big. Great stuff, thick wonderfully textured paper--it hurt me to cut it! Awesome embellishments too--unique, and enough bling to make the squirrel in me happy.


Pretty stuff, eh? I love getting sample stuff to play with, always very inspiring. I am being paged again....have a great weekend everyone!

More progress...

Holy cow. Blogger let me add a photo! This is our group at CHA, see Elsie, see Ali? The photo has nothing to do with the post, other than I have tried a hundred times to add it to my blog--so there you go.

Back to the post...

If you have your roof out on your front lawn.....you might be a red-neck.

Some great progress today, tomorrow I am told it will be decked! I will breathe a whole lot easier with some plywood separating our living space from the elements.

I slept out under the stars last night with the kids....in our KITCHEN. And this morning we had a sparrow tweeting on our kitchen cabinet. Not a whole lotta folks can say that, eh?

I have spent the day boxing up all my scrapbook crap. My small studio will soon become the laundry room, and the sooner I get this stuff out of here, the sooner the washer and dryer will be hooked up and functional, which means we can all wear clean britches again...so this project has moved up to a high priority. Man, I have collected some stuff. I found a whole bag of Magic Mesh! Lucky!

My oldest is having his tenth birthday tomorrow. Took him shopping for stuff he wanted. I have never been happier to spend time in Walmart. Air conditioning is such a blessing! Oh my, I just let him browse.

So far, the weather has held, whew! And every night our house seems to be the neighborhood gathering, people checking on the progress. Anyway, at least it is all entertaining.

Need to go make some Mac n Cheese by flashlight. The kids haven't eaten...at 10 at night. More updates tomorrow.

Raising the ROOF!

Well, folks. The roof came off today, so I guess we are officially committed to this remodel. The second photo is the view from the top of my stairs, to the left is the kitchen, to the right the entryway and living room. It is hotter than the blazes of hell, and there are flies and angry hornets. So...please allow yourself a minute to be grateful for whatever living circumstances you are currently experiencing...cause we are EXPOSED to the elements here, baby. Never though I would need sunglasses and sunscreen to sweep my kitchen floor, but here I am.

I am so relieved the roof didn't fold up on us when the crane man lifted it off. We were told that was a possibility, can you imagine?

I keep reminding myself that I am getting a studio out of it. I will survive. And I will be happy...soon.

Pray for clear skies and constipated overhead birds.

CHA....let's re-cap.

I slept in my own bed last night, and even though it is still a piece of crap, I slept like the dead--cause it is my own bed. Shared my hotel bed with Ashley Gailey, and she really wanted me to spoon with her...so I was nervous all night. (Hee, hee) Sam will be happy to note that I guess I *do* snore. But only a little. I came prepared. I brought all the girls earplugs...just in case.

I came home to a huge mess. The roof is coming off tomorrow. All of the electrical is pulled, which means we have no lights downstairs, no stove, dishwasher or washer and dryer. I am not sad. As long as I have a fridge with cold Mountain Dew, everything will be okay. I am a little bummed that I have no microwave for my Hot Pockets... I took all of my cool clothes to CHA, so I might have to bust over to the neighbors and throw some laundry in. Maybe not, though, cause my pj pants are clean--got plenty of those babies.

No light in the upstairs bathroom either, they are somehow connected with the electrical downstairs, although maybe Sam just rigged it that way. Showering in the dark might be romantic...no distracting soap scum or cellulite...

Back to CHA:

Started actually before official CHA, with us flying out…luckily (or unluckily) we missed the whole, re-routing/canceling of the flights due to the electrical storms in Chicago. I hate to fly. I hate being folded up into tiny spaces. My carry-on bag was at my feet, and it tipped over. Things fell out, and I couldn’t even maneuver enough to pick them up until the plane landed and I could stick my heinie out in the aisle to look under the seat. It was hot, and somehow that pinhole air vent wasn’t cutting it. Not to mention that I felt obligated to hold *it* until my bladder nearly burst, cause I didn’t want my seat partners to physically relocate for me to be able to stand in line to use the half-sized port-a-potty. I am so grateful I didn’t have to sneeze…

The first day, set-up day. How does that *not* suck. We were all tired and hungry and hot. Our hotel was in another zip code, and Jason (the owner of the company I went with) kept leaving everything back at the hotel, including the instructions for the new booth. Since Jason is one of our regular readers, I am not going to say anything but, dude--when you told us to meet you in the lobby at 8:30, and Kristy called you in your room at 8:45--we totally know that we woke you up. ( ;) )

We had a class the next morning at 8 bells, and Ursula, the other teacher's flight got re-routed. Poor Kristy, who has never taught, had to fill in. We had no class samples--those had to be mocked up in the hotel room at 1:30 am. We were a tad late to class, but everything went well, and I think the ladies liked it.

Day two I worked the crowd at the Karen Foster booth. It was all good, I was right under a ceiling fan. That rocked. I was nice and cool, and I am pretty sure that it blew my hair back, and made me look a little like a supah model.

The rest of the trip was a blur...full of meeting my online peeps, and laughing, and pimping out product. The pea dinner was awesome. Mostly cause I won a major prize. Stemma paper--8 lines, 25 sheets per pack, and everyone wants to be my friend now. HA! Very cool stuff. I hope I get it soon, the airline lost that bag.

Some highlights:

Giordano's Pizza. Seriously. I am not a pizza connoisseur, truth be told, I have been know to eat Totino's or Jeno's frozen grocery store crap on occasion which tells you, I could have eaten the cardboard box this pizza came in, and been happy. But oh mama. The thick chewy cheese, the crispy pastry crust... I get the hype now. I will never be the same person again.

We ended up one night at the Cheesecake Factory for dessert only. This place is a big deal to us Utahns. We don't have one remotely close. I think California is the closest. So that is why I was snapping pictures Alissa. Don't keep giving me those youareacrazylady looks. Godiva cheesecake. Its really the only reason I go to these shows once a month, and that is about how long it takes me to burn it off of my hips.

Met some classy scrapping celebs. Those girls are in the place they are in not out of luck, or who they know--but because they deserve it. Not only for their talent, but for their graciousness, and humility. Cameras in the face, crazy stalkers sporting tee-shirts sporting the celebs name...things that the average person would carry mace for, and these girls are so good about it. A great lesson learned. Cool is cool. I don't think I could be cool.

This is my 12th, and final show for a while. It is bittersweet. I have always looked at the whole show experience like a travelling circus. It is the same people every time. Lance from the pickle--who it like an annoying big brother...Sid from SEI, the pod-father..Suzy West, the bubbly, huggy girl--the Junkitz girls, my Cactus Pink peeps--it is always the same people. We all borrow packing tape, swap product, put our feet up in the airport and share stories. I will miss that. To walk the floor and recognize most of the kids on the display layouts as the kids of my friends. To see my own work on display, and people taking photos of it, that is gratifying. I will miss that too.

But last night when my plane came in, I stood back and scanned the crowd. I saw five little tow-heads desperately searching a sea of faces for me. And their little faces lit up when we finally locked eyes. My daugher has the same now sagging pig-tails that I pulled her hair up in the day I left. I know where I need to be right now. I am good with that.

Welcome home.

CHA here I come!

Not much to report.

I am getting last minute prep work done for CHA. (Craft and Hobby Association Show) I am pretty sure that this will be my last scrapbooking *trip.* ETA: CHA is in Chicago this year for those who asked.

There is a time and season for everything, and right now I need time to just be a Mom. My kids are growing so fast, and I need to enjoy it. Quality time. Less Flip-flop time.

I am excited to take everything in at this show, hopefully meet some of you, hang out with some of you that I have met at previous shows. It will be a fun weekend!

I will report back on Sunday. Place saved. Don't talk about me while I am gone.

Totally lost it.

I admit. I am not the best mom. Not the worst either, but sometimes I go postal, and it isn't pretty.

That would be yesterday. I just want to apologize to the neighbors, being summer and all, I am sure my windows were down somewhere, and they heard it all.

I just want to know at what point it is okay to bring Frosted Flakes down to the family room, and fling them all over the carpet and couch? Why are banana peels in the heater vent? Why, for the love of all that is holy, are there always "brown snappers" floating in my toilet? And the worst part about finding the toilet um, things, is that there is never any toilet paper in the bowl with it. Which explains the laundry phobia I have...which is a post for another day.

These are things going through my head as I am yelling at the kids to gather for the "talkin' to." Took a while to "gather" cause all my kids practice selective hearing...learned it from their Dad. All the kids eventually come, with that innocent look on their faces...."who did this?" I say pointing to the Frosted Flakes. Of course, NO ONE did it. Which means someone is yet again LYING to me. Fuel for the fire burning, burning within. (Plus I have been without caffeine, and I think I am PSMing...)

So that, my friends, is when I lost it. Off came the flip-flops. I used them to flog their lying heinies. Saved me some hand pain...."Flap, flap, flap!"

They shifted gears, and got that family room cleaned. They could see I meant business! And I'll be darned if they could hear my flip-flips walking around today, minding my own business, and the very sound of the "Flap, Flap, Flap" motivated them to get their jobs done today.

Flip Flops. A good thing.

Need new bed.

Twelve years we have had this bed. Bought it new, when we were engaged. I still remember feeling silly in Granite furniture trying out beds before we were married. We both wanted a firm mattress. We were both skinny then.

I remember how expensive I thought our bed was.

I remember taking such good care of it...
Me: "Do you have anything going on Saturday morning?"
He: "Nah, why?"
Me: "Cause it's time to flip the mattress again, can you believe that?"
He: "Wow, that six weeks went quick..."

Twelve years. Around year five, the bed started to feel a bit too firm. So we invested in one of those egg carton looking foam mattress cover things. It looked stupid, but made it softer. After a baby or two peed on it, we replaced it with another egg carton thingie. I had to bunch a million pillows around me when I was pregnant, or else my whole side would go numb.

We soon invested in a thick mattress cover. It did the trick for a while. But now, my whole side goes to sleep again, and I am not remotely close to being pregnant.

Look at it!!! Can you see how it sags?! Can you see our body divets. Aaargh. This bed has made me a morning person. Not cause I want to be, but because I hurt so bad from sleeping on it, that I am glad when I can get up. Firm my a$$...

We went to a furniture store, you know, to "price" mattresses. Slick Salesman could see us coming a mile away, what with our Igor-like gait. He takes us right over to the "Rolls Royce" of mattresses. Oh mama... We didn't really hear what he said, cause I think Sam and I went into smallish sleep-deprived comas. It was made of some sort of miracle body-molding gel that they use in the space shuttle or something... all I know is Sam had his cell-phone in his back pocket, and didn't even know he was laying on it. I wondered, what if the kids were encouraged to jump on it--might we never see them again??

Then nervously he shuffled his feet, and revealed the price. It was just shy of $6000.00. "What is a lifetime of great sleep worth to you?" Um, yeah. Moving on....

We safely made our way back to the over-priced for our meager budget Serta's and Spring-Airs. "Maybe we can just add another egg carton thingie?" Depressed, we left to "sleep on it."

Honestly, I just don't want to pay the money. Sam does. He thinks it is time. So we argue, and finally I snatch up my pillow and a throw blanket and start to leave.

He: "Where do you think you are going?!"
Me: "To sleep on the couch!"
He: "What makes you think you are so priviledged??!"

It's the most wonderful time, of the year.....

So excited, cause July 4th is my favorite holiday. More than Christmas even. I love me some fireworks! Love the smell of the smoke, love the sound of the boom, and the little crackly sounds....love the flare of colors, but mostly love Sam and I sprawled out in the warm summer air on a blanket surrounded by all our kids.

We do this thing, that I used to do as a kid with my parents. Each firework is designated to someone, in order--and that is *your* firework. "Okay, the next one is Brendan's......ooooo, niiice one, Brendan..." We also have names for the fireworks...."oooo, a popcorn! Lucky..." There are squigglies, popcorns, waterfalls....

We are a strange bunch.

For years we have been going out to Thanksgiving Point, to watch the show. We get a great spot not far from where the fire department lights the fireworks off. We go out really early to get the great spot. We have been blessed to have such a great group of friends--we were all neighbors at one time. Since then, some have moved away, but we always gather for the 4th. The traditon started one year with a 5:00 barbecue out at our *spot.* Everyone brought meat, and a side dish, and someone brought a grill out, and we all had dinner.

We have morphed it into an easier: bring your own meal, and a plate of goodies to share. The kids never eat anyway, they just want to play. And the adults spend the time catching up until it gets dark.

I love it. Good food, good friends, and great entertainment!

Happy 4th everyone!!

The year was 1987

My mom told me I would regret it, but I so, so wanted "feathered sides." My aunt is a hairdresser, I set up the appointment for a cut and a perm and spent my own babysitting money to go back to Junior High in style. Apparently with a mullet.

I kept it for a little over a year, and then started the grueling process of "growing out" layers. I have never had layers again since...I remember it being so awful, and those metal barettes everyday.

Notice the pink/blue eyeshadow combination too. Thank you Maybelline.

We can talk about the outfit. It was a one-piece, crop pant jump-suit. It was my favorite. I wore it once a week. I could hardly wait to wear it again( ....oooo, its almost been five days....I can wear it on Tuesday again...! ) It had matching pink jelly shoes with a bit of a high heel. Tres Chic!

It looks as though I am without the token white beads on picture day, which is unfortunate, I vaguely remember struggling on picture day with my Windmere Skinny Mini curling iron, and the Aqua-net--which probably made me just late enough to not be able to hunt for the beads.

Clip-on earrings....check. (you could not get your ears pierced in my house unless you were the wisened age of 16)

I still had the mole then. On my lower right cheek. To my horror and dis-belief, in the tenth grade I found a (gasp!) small white hair growing by the mole. In my desperate disgust, I took the Lady Bic and shaved it....and the mole right off of my face.

The mole never grew back, but the hairs did. Boy, did they ever. When you hit your 30's, the tweezers are a daily necessity.

My mom warned me about that, the tweezing, she has a sweet magnifying mirror that makes it easier for her to see the stray whiskers now. I am sure I will need one too. I should listen to her more often, she told me I would regret the haircut too...

A good reason to learn English

A great reason to learn English, really.

If you look like this...it is probably best to choose a shirt other than one emblazoned with "Athletic Department."

Major stuff.

A few months ago, a house in our neighborhood sold for what Sam and I thought was an insane amount of money. So we got a little giddy at the thoughts of "what if we sold out house for that amount?!!" The excitement lasted for about six minutes, when we priced how much it is for a building lot now.

We could sell, and then every penny we sold for, plus the remaining amount we could dig out of our change compartments in the cars, and couch cushions would barely buy us a building lot.
With no home on it.

So, we decided to add onto our house.
We are taking the roof off, adding another level, and slapping the old roof back on.

I will be excited when it is done, its the doing that is going to make for a long summer. We will have three full days of my kitchen/living room being completely exposed. Completely--meaning I could sunbathe naked on my kitchen counter. No roof. We will be taking a gamble that there isn't going to be any rain, or pooping birds. Not to mention the fact, that when we had the crane man come look at the roof, he offered the optimistic observation that since our ceilings are vaulted, the whole roof may just collapse when we attempt to crane it off. Something about the trusses not meant to be bottom load-bearing. That is quite the thought.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am getting a new studio out of the deal...

So, the past couple of nights, Sam has been knocking down sheetrock. The entire perimeter of the roofline has to be opened up, so we can unhook all the electrical, and unhook the roof itself. My whole house is covered with sheetrock dust. We are committed now. Its a scary feeling.

One long summer, folks.

On a side note, back a few months ago I was invited to submit to contest sponsored by Krylon. The spray-paint people! It was loftily called the Paper Arts Designers Challenge. At the last minute I entered a layout. More out of I would have felt guilty for not at least trying.

Well, lo and behold, I get an e-mail today saying I took second place in the darn thing. $200.00, better than a kick in the shorts!

It might come in handy if we need a new roof.

Who doesn't love a PARADE

Such a great parade this year, it was looooong. And *we* measure the success of a parade by how many pieces of candy/frisbees/free coupons the kids catch. Very successful for the Wadley kids this year. I think my legs are sunburned.

We are off to the carnival! There will be pictures...oh yes...great stock photo ops.

Happy Round-up!

Yeehaw!

Who knew I would love the Rodeo? Ya know why? Cause I had my camera, and got some totally kick-butt shots. I like to have "stock" photos on hand, in case I need to do a Cowboy page or whatever. So I ventured to the Rodeo with the family. I go back tonight, Sam and I are flipping burgers at the snack bar! HA! Our church volunteered for community service....so anyway, free nachos for me.

Love the photo.

Can you just see the conversation going on in his head?

<----- By the way, we were told by the Rodeo announcer that this kid is Chris LeDeoux's son. Not being a country fan, I am not sure if that was just a lie, but there ya go.

Old Fashioned FUN

This week is our town's celebration week. "Lehi Round-Up" week, which ends with a large rodeo, at least I think it is large. I am soooo not a rodeo person, so I really can't compare it. I did go on a date once to a National Finals Rodeo. I guess it was a big deal. I just remember how hard the benches were, and how bad I felt for the little calves in the calf-roping part.

Poor little guys, the gate opens, and they see, smell and taste freedom...running as fast as their little hooves can carry them, and next thing you know--they are flat on their backs with their legs tied up. Humiliation. I don't even know the point of that.

So, they have been having different events at the local museum, and park, and I have been trying to hit most of them with the kids. Yesterday they had demonstrations from the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers. They taught my kids how to make duck calls with a drinking straw. (Thanks for that.) They had old-fashioned games and displays. The kids loved it.

Tomorrow night is the "poop parade," it is actually a stock parade, but my kids consider it a highlight when a gallant horse ( tail intricately braided with shining tassels) carrying a Fair Rodeo Royalty Maiden (how is their hair so BIG?!) stops to take a huge steaming dump. Some of the parade participants throw wrapped tootsie rolls and salt water taffy. That is such a great idea, considering the condition of the streets.....And the best part of the parade is at the end when the big city pooper scooper truck comes down the street with rotating brushes and sprays/splatters poo, then sucks it up into holding tanks. The kids dig that.

Thursday night. Good times had by all. And then Sam takes the kids to the rodeo. I have been once, and that was enough for me. So I am looking forward to a quiet evening without the rest of the fam.

Friday and Saturday there is a traditional parade with floats and marching bands and various city groups waving from decked out vintage cars. I love that. I love the sounds of the marching bands. I love seeing kids pulling wagons, selling ice cold pop for scout fundraisers. I love seeing friends I went to high school with, sitting with their own kids--carrying on tradition.

For pete sake

I haven't posted for a bit, and the picture doesn't really have a whole lot to do with this post, other than it is of Sam, and once again, I am venting about his weird behavior. Plus, I learned some cool things in PS, and thought this turned out cool. Anyhoo...

So we were sitting in church yesterday, and we have the AWFUL 9:00 meeting time, which is horrid for us, getting all the kids ready when we are a house full of non-morning folks.

Sam leans over to me and says something, and dude. His breath could have, I dunno, knocked me over. I was seriously on the verge of dry-heaving. So I scrunch up my nose and back away. And I tell him his breath is bad. Now, I am not going to criticize someone unless I have something to help them with. I had gum in the purse. And I certainly didn't want him going on the rest of the day randomly offending people. I do love him.

He gets all huffy and offended! He says "No, it doesn't" (meaning his breath doesn't stink) And I say "Uh, yeah--it so does." And he said (can't believe it still) "There is no way it stinks, I brushed."

Seriously. He truly believes that a mere brushing solves all hygiene evils.

So we proceed to argue. (At a reasonable distance from my nose) And he finally accepts a piece of gum, reluctantly, very reluctantly, cause he still thinks I am making the whole bad breath thing up. Whatev.

My grandma said to me many years ago, "honey, if someone offers you a breath mint, or gum, ALWAYS take it."

Good advice.

Sometimes a few bucks goes a long way.

A few years ago my boys were really into Matchbox cars, they still are, but not to the extent they were those few years ago. They took them everywhere, I was constantly digging them out of the dryer after I heard the clunk, clunk, clunk. They took them into the bathtub with them-- and one fateful day, they were mocking Nascar and driving them around and around on the toilet seat lid. One of the more unfortunate race participants had no wheels, and as a result left deep gougy scratches around the lid of the toilet seat.

For the last few years, I have tried every cleaner available to man to keep those gouges clean. Cleanser, Bleach toilet cleaner, recently--Magic Clean erasers. When those scratches get dirty, the whole bathroom looks dingy. I have struggled with it for years.

Yesterday, while at Walmart, I looked into getting a new toilet seat. Just pricing them, mind you--for the wonderful gratuitous day when I would replace the bane of my existance. Guess what? To my shock and horror, a brand new gouge-free toilet seat was.....five dollars. FIVE BUCKS?!! I have spent more on cleaning supplies for the piece of crap (no pun intended) that I own now, than I would have spent REPLACING it years ago. Five dollars. I think I have more than that in the cushions of my couch. I bought two of them. Just cause I could. It looks so nice.

Even Mikayla was happy. This morning she woke up and said "mommy, remember our new toilet seat?" HA!

Sadly, I have done this a lot in my life.

Once I had a curling iron, that the plastic thumb thingie fell off. Everytime I used it, it burned my thumb. I got smart, and wrapped it with a bandaid (melted after a while), toilet paper(wouldn't stay put), and then electricians tape. Then I realized that a new curling iron was eight dollars. I figured I was worth 8 bucks, but not until two skin grafts later...

When my kids were potty training, and they had an accident that fell in the #2 category, I remember soaking and scrubbing those little power ranger undies. I hated that. And they never came clean. And then it dawned on me that I could pick up a four pack for five bucks. So after that I chucked them. It was so worth the dollar to not have to touch poop.

And mis-matched socks. I have a whole bin of them. I know this sounds crazy--but I threw it away. The whole bin. Cause you know what? A six pack of socks is like four dollars. MY TIME is not worth the sock bin. And everyone loves new socks anyway.

So people at VISA, if you are reading this, soon there will be a charge from Walmart for something insane like $25.00. I am in a mood.

Random thoughts for a Wednesday.

I don't think there is a worse song out there than "Roxanne" by the Police. It is so screechy and stupid it makes my ears bleed. And the station I like plays it every day. And that "You had a bad day" song that they killed forever overplaying it on American Idol.

I love Magic Clean erasers. They work on everything.

Those leaf-blower things are stupid. A neighbor (not you Mark) used one to clean his yard of grass clippings and related yard gunk, blew it all out in the road, and called it a day. Awesome. Unless you live across the street and a small breeze comes along...

Thank You cards are kinda stupid. You give someone a gift, cause you want to--you are thinking of them for their birthday, or new baby or whatever, they say thanks, and then a few days later you get a Thank You card in the mail for the gift. WTH? Are you supposed to send them a Thank You card for sending you a Thank You card?

If I get invited to another Pampered Chef/Shade Clothing/Taste of Home party I am going to scream.

Except for Magic Clean erasers...geez, I guess I am in a bad mood. Hmmm, well, I guess I will go drink a Mountain Dew and call this a day.

It's our anniversary!

Twelve years ago today, I married my Sam.

Most of the time I don't regret it. ;)

It seems like the longer you are married, the more you actually love each other, and appreciate real, true love. I thought I loved Sam twelve years ago, and I was giddy/happy/excited that I got to "hang out" with him 24/7.

After 12 years, it becomes so much deeper. So many things we have gone through together. I couldn't live without his support, advice, and sense of humor.

I am not really sure how he puts up with me half the time, but I am grateful that he does.

So, Sam, if you ever read this-I love you! Thank you for taking a chance on me, and on us. Thank you for not being too "manly" to use a curling iron. Thank you for knowing how to fix sprinkler pipes. Thank you for turning a blind eye to the stretch marks, cellulite, and floors that need mopping. Thank you for all the big things, and all the little things.

Here's to the next dozen years--I hope they bring us just as much happiness as the first 12 have. (maybe more money..HA!)

Shopping.

“It’s hard to be positive when your fat pants are tight.”
-Cathy




Sigh…. I haven’t blogged lately about the whole gym thing. I still haven’t lost any weight. Frankly, I am getting tired of the “you must be gaining muscle” thing from supportive well-wishers. I don’t want muscle. I just want to take up less space in this world, and for pete living sake NOTHING fits anymore.

I don’t know what it going on. I feel like I am trapped in a spiraling vortex. I eat less, I exercise, and I am getting bigger. But, I am not giving up! I am waiting for that magical day when my body decides it doesn’t need to hold on to all the food storage I am carrying around. I hope no one is behind me on the treadmill when that happens.

I went clothes shopping yesterday, cause I am tired of looking like crap, while I am feeling like crap. I found a few cute things while dragging five kids around—three of which are boys that were completely mortified to be within touching distance of the bra section. Heh, heh.

Shopping is depressing.

Here is my problem(s). I have no chest, so scoop/ and or plunging necklines are right out. I have no waist. Truly. My babies just slide all the way down my torso when I try to “hip” them. So tighter shirts are just eh…I have a slab of bread-dough where my abs should be that comes around on both sides of my hips, so low riders make me have the proverbial “muffin” top. Arm flab. Did I mention that too? Yeah, so these teeny tiny tight tee shirts cinch me off at the armpit like a tourniquet.

It is darn hard work to find things that look flattering on me.

I finally found a cute vintage tee-shirt, not too tight, a little bit of a sleeve, long enough to cover the “muffin” very simple-- with a single leaf on it, and embroidered around it was the word “fresh.” I thought it was a complete score. Until I took it home and showed Sam, to which he replied: “Nice, honey—that is a marijuana leaf.”

I guess its going back today.

I don't mean to brag....but....

it was a good mail day. :)

The fabulous people at Karen Foster(thank you, thank you, thank you!!!) decided that the design team may as well have a bunch of Karen Foster product "on hand" to design with--to submit to magazines with, and to just generally use.

I don't know if they have anything left in the warehouse.

I am so overwhelmed, and grateful beyond belief. Amazing what a few BOLTS of ribbon, a rainbow of yummy Prism cardstock and hundreds of embellishment packages can do for the happiness level of the average SAHM.

Not to mention the SeatCase and Carry-all and Fold-n-Go to help store it all. (loving the new Ocean Mist color...)

Someone pinch me....I am such a lucky girl!

SCHOOOOL's out for summer!

Shayne: Look at me Mom, I'm freeeeeeeeeeee!! (running wildly across the lawn, after arriving home on the last day of school)

I have to admit--even after being out of school for um, a lot of years, I still get that excited feeling on the last day.

The freedom.

But, it's a little different as a mom. Although I am thrilled to not have to make lunches, or correct homework, or listen (and daydream) through 20 minutes of reading per kid, per night...

I will miss the break. The guilt-free "me" time. Mikayla and I just got down a good SAHM(and toddler) routine.

We'll just have to adapt to a new system. One that includes the school(less) kids, a little chore-time, a lot of play time, and throw in a bit of stay up late and sleep in even later, and I think we will adjust well.

Just don't call us before 10 am..

Week-end plans.

Look what I got....nah, nah, nah....Cactus Pink goodies! A whole box! This isn't even all of the ribbon, not to mention the chipboard and paper and the rub-ons. I have a whole bunch of ideas floating around in my head (---maybe its just the Dayquil talkin.')

I have a horrid head-cold. My eyeballs feel like they are bulging out, and my teeth hurt. Ugh.

I better feel better soon, cause Sam is taking the boys on a Father/Son over-nighter, and me and the girls want to do a serious Mother/Daughter scrap session.

But even if we don't get a lot done, the boys will still be gone...and I think my head will feel a whole lot better without the usual background noise....;)

Mikayla gives me these courtesy smiles now.

It's all she can muster anymore.

Poor thing has had a camera in her face since the minute she was born. I think her face is just plain tired.