...forgot to make an appearance at the Wadley house. Again.
Stupid tooth fairy.
This is the LAST TIME we are letting this slide. Next time, I am writing a letter to your boss.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
healthy fall recipes
Here are some good diet recipes I have discovered recently. They don't taste diet, and I would totally make them diet or not. They are that good. My kids even voted them two thumbs up, even the split pea soup one, which weirded me out.
Anyway, I am sharing for two reasons, one is YOU, thought you could use some comfort food with the cold weather rolling in, and two is so I can easily archive them and pull them up next year on this blog instead of trying to remember where I stashed the paper I wrote them on. Enjoy!
CROCK POT TACO CHICKEN CHILI (1 C= 3 WW points)
3 FROZEN chicken breasts
1 envelope ranch dressing mix
1 envelope taco seasoning mix
1 medium onion, diced
1 can rotel tomatoes
1 can black beans
1 can cannelloni (or any white) beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can vegetarian baked beans (the large can 26 oz?)
1 can kernel corn
Put everything in crock pot in order listed.
Do NOT rinse or drain beans.
DO NOT STIR.
Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.
Take chicken out and shred with two forks.
Put chicken back in, stir, and eat. This may produce gas.
Crock Pot Split Pea and Ham Soup (1 C.= 3 WW points)
1 pound dried split peas, rinsed
1 ham hock (which is a very ugly piece of meat, btw)
1 onion, chopped
3 carrots, peeled and sliced
2 stalks celery chopped
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 quarts chicken stock
salt and pepper, or favorite seasonings (I used some liquid smoke, some Tabasco, and onion salt and pepper)
Put all ingredients into crock pot, except for seasonings. Cover and cook on high for 4-5 hours or low 8-10 hours. Before serving, remove ham hock, chunk all the meat off of it, chop it up, and add the meat back into the crock pot. Remove the bay leaf. Or don't. Laugh at the child who gnaws on it. Season as desired.
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies (1 cookie= 1 point)
I need to preface this recipe with the disclaimer that in order for the cookie to be one WW point, you have to make them small. Real small. Like the size of a silver dollar. I usually don't have the patience and make them regular cookie size and call them two points.
2 spice cake mixes ( i have substituted Carrot cake, and it worked fine. I prefer the Spice, cause the little carrot chunkies are still there after you bake the cookies, but Spice is hard to find lately, especially after they posted this recipe in the WW room, and every lady in the tri-city area is bakin' these things up)
1 29 ounce can 100% Pumpkin (not the pumpkin pie mix)
1 bag mini-chocolate chips
Mix everything together and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
Anyway, I am sharing for two reasons, one is YOU, thought you could use some comfort food with the cold weather rolling in, and two is so I can easily archive them and pull them up next year on this blog instead of trying to remember where I stashed the paper I wrote them on. Enjoy!
CROCK POT TACO CHICKEN CHILI (1 C= 3 WW points)
3 FROZEN chicken breasts
1 envelope ranch dressing mix
1 envelope taco seasoning mix
1 medium onion, diced
1 can rotel tomatoes
1 can black beans
1 can cannelloni (or any white) beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can vegetarian baked beans (the large can 26 oz?)
1 can kernel corn
Put everything in crock pot in order listed.
Do NOT rinse or drain beans.
DO NOT STIR.
Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.
Take chicken out and shred with two forks.
Put chicken back in, stir, and eat. This may produce gas.
Crock Pot Split Pea and Ham Soup (1 C.= 3 WW points)
1 pound dried split peas, rinsed
1 ham hock (which is a very ugly piece of meat, btw)
1 onion, chopped
3 carrots, peeled and sliced
2 stalks celery chopped
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 quarts chicken stock
salt and pepper, or favorite seasonings (I used some liquid smoke, some Tabasco, and onion salt and pepper)
Put all ingredients into crock pot, except for seasonings. Cover and cook on high for 4-5 hours or low 8-10 hours. Before serving, remove ham hock, chunk all the meat off of it, chop it up, and add the meat back into the crock pot. Remove the bay leaf. Or don't. Laugh at the child who gnaws on it. Season as desired.
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies (1 cookie= 1 point)
I need to preface this recipe with the disclaimer that in order for the cookie to be one WW point, you have to make them small. Real small. Like the size of a silver dollar. I usually don't have the patience and make them regular cookie size and call them two points.
2 spice cake mixes ( i have substituted Carrot cake, and it worked fine. I prefer the Spice, cause the little carrot chunkies are still there after you bake the cookies, but Spice is hard to find lately, especially after they posted this recipe in the WW room, and every lady in the tri-city area is bakin' these things up)
1 29 ounce can 100% Pumpkin (not the pumpkin pie mix)
1 bag mini-chocolate chips
Mix everything together and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
weigh in (gulp)
Since I know you are all anxiously awaiting my WW weigh-in today. Remember I ate like a teenager this week...and then I have been exercising like mad to reverse it all. I actually had nightmares last night about weighing in. How pathetic is that?
I am DOWN .2! I am not sure what that is all about, but I am happy.
I am getting back on the wagon this week. I am six pounds away from my 10% goal. I hope I can hit that in the next month. You know, being that it is THANKSGIVING. American Pig-Out Festival.
That should be easy....
I am DOWN .2! I am not sure what that is all about, but I am happy.
I am getting back on the wagon this week. I am six pounds away from my 10% goal. I hope I can hit that in the next month. You know, being that it is THANKSGIVING. American Pig-Out Festival.
That should be easy....
Thursday, October 25, 2007
pumpkin patch
I pictured an idyllic afternoon at the pumpkin patch, and I got this.
I wonder where he gets his completely inappropriate and warped sense of humor??
I wonder where he gets his completely inappropriate and warped sense of humor??
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Hello celery.
You know what sucks about Weight Watchers?
Everything.
There are certain um, times of the month where I am so hungry I could lick the kitchen floor. (Which incidentally should paint a pretty picture of what my kitchen floor looks like at any given time.)
And sometimes, I am not in the mood for an apple or a large steaming pile of veggies. Ugh. I just want half a bag of Lorna Doones. Like a real person.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am down one jean size.
And you know what they say "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Which is total horse crap. I can think of plenty of things that taste as good as thin feels, and they don't start with "rice" and end in "cakes."
And I am nervous to weigh in Saturday. I ate like a real person at Getaway. I had Peanut M&M's by the handful and these brownies that Peg makes, that aren't even brownies...they are like gooey slabs of heaven. And bacon, and lasagna and breakfast casserole. Sigh.
So since I have been back, I have been trying to be extra good, and it extra sucks.
Everything.
There are certain um, times of the month where I am so hungry I could lick the kitchen floor. (Which incidentally should paint a pretty picture of what my kitchen floor looks like at any given time.)
And sometimes, I am not in the mood for an apple or a large steaming pile of veggies. Ugh. I just want half a bag of Lorna Doones. Like a real person.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am down one jean size.
And you know what they say "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Which is total horse crap. I can think of plenty of things that taste as good as thin feels, and they don't start with "rice" and end in "cakes."
And I am nervous to weigh in Saturday. I ate like a real person at Getaway. I had Peanut M&M's by the handful and these brownies that Peg makes, that aren't even brownies...they are like gooey slabs of heaven. And bacon, and lasagna and breakfast casserole. Sigh.
So since I have been back, I have been trying to be extra good, and it extra sucks.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
P. S.
I have cleared my schedule for the next couple of days due to my butt-anxiety.
I will have plenty of blogging going on. Oh yes.
I will have plenty of blogging going on. Oh yes.
There's no place like home...
Wendy1 (Inman) and Dar drop us off at the airport in Norfolk. Something happened in the Newport News airport because they had diverted all the air traffic to Norfolk.
Needless to say, the flights all filled up, and Mondays flights out looked worse. We hopped the last flight out of Norfolk, which happened to be going to JFK (New York.)We were happy to get the flight. Like dummies.
Anyone who has had the pleasure can testify to the fact that JFK is a PIT.
We get there, and put ourselves on stand-by for flight after flight. They kept filling up at the last minute, so we resign ourselves to the fact that we are going to have to buy a ticket on another airline to get ourselves out of New York.
We ask the very helpful and friendly <-----heavy sarcasm there) staff at the airport where the courtesy phones are so we can check on tickets.
They told us we needed to go out into a completely different terminal where ticketing was located. So we drag our dumb bags five country miles and across a busy intersection. (Like Frogger!)
We get to the parking garage looking building that is Ticketing.
It was nasty.
Cold cement walls and dim yellow lights and some smell I couldn't put my finger on, but I imagine that this is what it smells like in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sewer Headquarters. Sort-of a stale sweat mixed with the anxious aroma of "sometime soon someone is going to sneak up on me and crank me in the head with a metal pipe."
We find a flight out of there to Vegas on another airline, so we get listed and ask the ticket agent where the other terminal is. It was inside the building that we were just in. So we head towards that building, and get stopped by security. We can't get into the other building without a boarding pass. We can't get a boarding pass because they don't give you those on stand-by. We hand them our stack of boarding passes to all the flights we had missed. They don't count anymore, because those flights have already left the airport.
So now, we can't even GET BACK INSIDE the airport.
Panic starts to rise like hot bile in my throat.
We try to get on stand-by to anywhere. Alaska, Paris, anything. Just to get back into the safety of the airport. Nothing.
The next flight we could try for was at 6 the next morning, and they could not issue us a boarding pass until four hours prior to the flight.
We were stranded. The least expensive hotel was $180.00 a night. That is a lot of Bazzill! We did not want to pay that for four hours. We were resigned to the fact that we were going to be spending the night at the airport, getting a boarding pass at 2am, and waiting it out until the flights started running again.
But remember, we are still in the scary parking garage!
Finally, we got a nice man to actually listen to us. I think it may have had something to do with the fact that I started crying. Not hysterical sobs, but those hot tears that you try to hold back, and you blink a lot to try to keep them at bay....yeah, those.
So he asked the obvious, if we were from somewhere else...yeah. And then I think he felt somewhat embarrassed by how rude everyone had been and our hopeless plight, and explained to us that not all of New York was this brutal, and continued to personally walk us over to the international terminal of the airport. He was nice. I was ready...so ready to buy an I DO NOT heart NY tee-shirt. That city wants to chew you up and spit you out.
The international wing was hopping. It is always hopping. There were people in sarongs and Orthodox Jews, and turban wrapped heads....and when we saw open food courts, we saw hope.
There were people sleeping all over the airport. This one guy unzipped his backpack and rolled out a freaking mummy sleeping bag, a pillow (not a bag of Craisins), noise reducing headphones and those eye-mask thingies. I was waiting for him to pull a Coleman lantern out of his Mary Poppins bag. He must do this a lot.
We ate, and felt better. And played some games, and finally, decided to sleep in shifts.
We curled up on a nice arctic-cold cement bench and Wendy gave it a go. She tossed and turned and finally used the bag of Craisins as a pillow. She slept a relaxing 17 minutes. Everyone in New York is so farking LOUD!
I think I slept a total of two hours. In 17 minute increments.
We cleaned up in the bathroom, and brushed our teeth.
Then we walked back to the ticketing garage. No one was working yet. We sat around, and finally got boarding passes to Salt Lake City at 7 am.
We finally had a golden ticket to get back inside the airport!
The Salt Lake flight filled.
The Atlanta flight filled.
The LAX flight filled.
For the love of all that is holy.....please, we need to GET OUT OF HERE.....
Our husbands were in more panic than us. Could be the fact that they have all 12 children.
They are clicking and conference calling and re-routing and finding anything to get us home.
There was a Vegas flight, and it looked hopeful, so they listed us, and as a back-up we were listed in the Orlando flight. Plus, they upgraded our stand-by status to a higher priority.
We made Vegas. It was only when the plane lifted up off of the ground that I unclenched my cheeks.
Not only did we make it, but got first class. So grateful. I can't even tell you how grateful. I would have sat on the toilet at this point, and helped wipe butts to get home. First class was awesome. Especially since it was a long flight. We mostly slept. And ate a good breakfast. Mmmmmmm...
We arrived in Vegas, and were on stand-by for the next four flights back to Salt Lake City. Plus, Sam was gassed up and ready to drive the four hours to pick us up.
We knew we were going home.
We made the 12:05 flight out of there.
We got into Salt Lake at 2:38.
Who else can say that this weekend they were in:
Virginia
North Carolina
New York
Las Vegas
and Utah?
I came home, hugged the kids, gave them cheesy souvenirs, ate something, took a bath, and went to bed at 8pm. Slept like the dead 'til 8am, and I am planning on taking a nap today too. Maybe on a Craisin pillow, for old times' sake.
Trip details when I am coherent.
Needless to say, the flights all filled up, and Mondays flights out looked worse. We hopped the last flight out of Norfolk, which happened to be going to JFK (New York.)We were happy to get the flight. Like dummies.
Anyone who has had the pleasure can testify to the fact that JFK is a PIT.
We get there, and put ourselves on stand-by for flight after flight. They kept filling up at the last minute, so we resign ourselves to the fact that we are going to have to buy a ticket on another airline to get ourselves out of New York.
We ask the very helpful and friendly <-----heavy sarcasm there) staff at the airport where the courtesy phones are so we can check on tickets.
They told us we needed to go out into a completely different terminal where ticketing was located. So we drag our dumb bags five country miles and across a busy intersection. (Like Frogger!)
We get to the parking garage looking building that is Ticketing.
It was nasty.
Cold cement walls and dim yellow lights and some smell I couldn't put my finger on, but I imagine that this is what it smells like in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sewer Headquarters. Sort-of a stale sweat mixed with the anxious aroma of "sometime soon someone is going to sneak up on me and crank me in the head with a metal pipe."
We find a flight out of there to Vegas on another airline, so we get listed and ask the ticket agent where the other terminal is. It was inside the building that we were just in. So we head towards that building, and get stopped by security. We can't get into the other building without a boarding pass. We can't get a boarding pass because they don't give you those on stand-by. We hand them our stack of boarding passes to all the flights we had missed. They don't count anymore, because those flights have already left the airport.
So now, we can't even GET BACK INSIDE the airport.
Panic starts to rise like hot bile in my throat.
We try to get on stand-by to anywhere. Alaska, Paris, anything. Just to get back into the safety of the airport. Nothing.
The next flight we could try for was at 6 the next morning, and they could not issue us a boarding pass until four hours prior to the flight.
We were stranded. The least expensive hotel was $180.00 a night. That is a lot of Bazzill! We did not want to pay that for four hours. We were resigned to the fact that we were going to be spending the night at the airport, getting a boarding pass at 2am, and waiting it out until the flights started running again.
But remember, we are still in the scary parking garage!
Finally, we got a nice man to actually listen to us. I think it may have had something to do with the fact that I started crying. Not hysterical sobs, but those hot tears that you try to hold back, and you blink a lot to try to keep them at bay....yeah, those.
So he asked the obvious, if we were from somewhere else...yeah. And then I think he felt somewhat embarrassed by how rude everyone had been and our hopeless plight, and explained to us that not all of New York was this brutal, and continued to personally walk us over to the international terminal of the airport. He was nice. I was ready...so ready to buy an I DO NOT heart NY tee-shirt. That city wants to chew you up and spit you out.
The international wing was hopping. It is always hopping. There were people in sarongs and Orthodox Jews, and turban wrapped heads....and when we saw open food courts, we saw hope.
There were people sleeping all over the airport. This one guy unzipped his backpack and rolled out a freaking mummy sleeping bag, a pillow (not a bag of Craisins), noise reducing headphones and those eye-mask thingies. I was waiting for him to pull a Coleman lantern out of his Mary Poppins bag. He must do this a lot.
We ate, and felt better. And played some games, and finally, decided to sleep in shifts.
We curled up on a nice arctic-cold cement bench and Wendy gave it a go. She tossed and turned and finally used the bag of Craisins as a pillow. She slept a relaxing 17 minutes. Everyone in New York is so farking LOUD!
I think I slept a total of two hours. In 17 minute increments.
We cleaned up in the bathroom, and brushed our teeth.
Then we walked back to the ticketing garage. No one was working yet. We sat around, and finally got boarding passes to Salt Lake City at 7 am.
We finally had a golden ticket to get back inside the airport!
The Salt Lake flight filled.
The Atlanta flight filled.
The LAX flight filled.
For the love of all that is holy.....please, we need to GET OUT OF HERE.....
Our husbands were in more panic than us. Could be the fact that they have all 12 children.
They are clicking and conference calling and re-routing and finding anything to get us home.
There was a Vegas flight, and it looked hopeful, so they listed us, and as a back-up we were listed in the Orlando flight. Plus, they upgraded our stand-by status to a higher priority.
We made Vegas. It was only when the plane lifted up off of the ground that I unclenched my cheeks.
Not only did we make it, but got first class. So grateful. I can't even tell you how grateful. I would have sat on the toilet at this point, and helped wipe butts to get home. First class was awesome. Especially since it was a long flight. We mostly slept. And ate a good breakfast. Mmmmmmm...
We arrived in Vegas, and were on stand-by for the next four flights back to Salt Lake City. Plus, Sam was gassed up and ready to drive the four hours to pick us up.
We knew we were going home.
We made the 12:05 flight out of there.
We got into Salt Lake at 2:38.
Who else can say that this weekend they were in:
Virginia
North Carolina
New York
Las Vegas
and Utah?
I came home, hugged the kids, gave them cheesy souvenirs, ate something, took a bath, and went to bed at 8pm. Slept like the dead 'til 8am, and I am planning on taking a nap today too. Maybe on a Craisin pillow, for old times' sake.
Trip details when I am coherent.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
some scrappy crap
Some stuff I did recently. Stuff I got to do for ME, not for an assignment!I submitted them for publication...so if they disappear one day--that will be why, and that will be cool too. For me.
And I am leaving tomorrow early morning.
Hope the kids survive.
And my husband.
And I hope I have the desire to come back home again.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
fixin' to leave
If you don't see me around these parts in the next little while, it will be because I am heading out...
Going to stay at a beach house, with a bunch of crazy ladies.
Some will madly scrap, some have prepared girl-scoutesque campfire skits, and some will just be content to throw caution to the wind...and eat all their weight watchers points in chocolate. Heh.
I am mostly excited to escape the world of "whatsfordinner?whatisit?doilikeit?
And the world of:
Launder.
Fold.
Put Away.
Repeat. 1000 times.
Maybe I will come back. Be good while I am gone.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
life lessons
**Edited to add**
I am thrilled to find out that the whole e-mail was a hoax/urban legend. Thanks Bob. Makes me have renewed faith in humanity. Heh.
I have been forwarded the same warning e-mail twice in the last little while. I felt the need to comment.
This e-mail shows photos of some poor little kid who had sustained chemical burns to the face after contact with a Magic Clean Eraser.
I feel bad for that little kid, I really do. But honestly, what was the mother thinking? Isn't this the same product that takes Sharpie marker off of my walls like butter? The same eraser that removed the rust from around my sink? I wonder why she thought it would be the best choice to take the Kool-aid stains off of her kid's cheeks?
When I was little, my Mom always used her own spit to clean our cheeks. That worked.
Sometimes you observe in life, and you should retain and learn.
Like when I see that beets STAIN the plate they sit on. I know they can't be good for my stomach.
Beets stain plate.
Beets stain stomach.
Beets taste like potting soil anyway.
I don't eat beets.
Lesson learned.
I am thrilled to find out that the whole e-mail was a hoax/urban legend. Thanks Bob. Makes me have renewed faith in humanity. Heh.
I have been forwarded the same warning e-mail twice in the last little while. I felt the need to comment.
This e-mail shows photos of some poor little kid who had sustained chemical burns to the face after contact with a Magic Clean Eraser.
I feel bad for that little kid, I really do. But honestly, what was the mother thinking? Isn't this the same product that takes Sharpie marker off of my walls like butter? The same eraser that removed the rust from around my sink? I wonder why she thought it would be the best choice to take the Kool-aid stains off of her kid's cheeks?
When I was little, my Mom always used her own spit to clean our cheeks. That worked.
Sometimes you observe in life, and you should retain and learn.
Like when I see that beets STAIN the plate they sit on. I know they can't be good for my stomach.
Beets stain plate.
Beets stain stomach.
Beets taste like potting soil anyway.
I don't eat beets.
Lesson learned.
Friday, October 12, 2007
yummy.
I bought our Halloween trick-or-treaters candy today.
Yeah, I know it's early, and you would think I would have learned from years past, when I would buy the candy early, and then dip into it on bad days until eventually I ate it all.
And have you ever tried to find candy, anywhere, the day of Halloween?
Cause we had to do that once. When I ate the stash. That was the year we gave out pencils. It was also the year all of our pumpkins got brutally gutted and maimed on the sidewalk.
You would think I would learn....and yes! I have...
I bought neon-colored Dora and Diego suckers.
Not even a temptation.
Yeah, I know it's early, and you would think I would have learned from years past, when I would buy the candy early, and then dip into it on bad days until eventually I ate it all.
And have you ever tried to find candy, anywhere, the day of Halloween?
Cause we had to do that once. When I ate the stash. That was the year we gave out pencils. It was also the year all of our pumpkins got brutally gutted and maimed on the sidewalk.
You would think I would learn....and yes! I have...
I bought neon-colored Dora and Diego suckers.
Not even a temptation.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
the chicken man
We have a local photography company who has always done the school portraits. Even when I went to school, 100 years ago, that same company came out on picture day, and shot the whole school.
Back in the day, you had your individual photos--and you had one shot at those bad boys...so if your class was the unfortunate class who was scheduled to go in right after lunch, than odds are, some kid in your class had Cheetos cheeks. Or if you were the last class to be herded into the lunchroom for your turn, you have been through lunch, and all three recesses, and chances are your Little House on the Prairie curls that your mom shellacked with Aqua Net that morning were droopy or altogether non-existent.
Now, back in the day, this same company may have had some complaints about the process, because they did provide each victim with a black unbreakable comb, to try to smooth out the damage of the day before you ended up on grandma's piano in a cheap oak frame looking like you just came in from a busy day of rolling around on the playground grass. Forever. To the embarrassment of your mother, on the piano with your buck teeth and messy hair. Forever.
Then you had the added stress of the class photo. Everyone would line up on the stage, on the graduating stairs (tallest in the back, shortest in the front) and everyone hold your smile...and girl in the back, stand up straight! And boy in the second row, yes, YOU! DO NOT do rabbit ears to that girl's head in front of you! I SEE YOU! And someone would always have their eyes closed.
This particular photography business has a trademark gimmick of getting kids to smile. They have a rubber chicken that they throw at you. The look is more of shock than happy smile, but never-the-less, it can pass for a smile, that open-mouthed shock.
A couple years into the gimmick, they switched it up, and let the kids throw the chicken at the photographer. Then, the smiles were more of a sneer "take THAT chicken-man." A couple of expensive umbrella lights later, it seems like they have completely done away with the chickens.
I took Mikayla up to the school on toddler picture day, to have her photo taken, so she would match the other kids on our wall. After all, school pictures are a tradition! They are a rite of passage! They are a staple of every home in town! The chicken-man is a professional, for Pete's sake!
The minimum wage photographer was less than impressive. He was completely lifeless. He literally sat my four year old down on the carpeted pedestal and said "okay...smile."
Mikayla just looked at him, and blinked.
"Okay...say cheese!"
Really? Cheese? On toddler day?
How's that working out for you?
Where is the chicken? You neeeeeed the chicken!
Finally, I got behind the camera. I made her smile. And I still had to pay him for his "services."
I got them back today. They are not great. They are off-center. The color could use some saturation. Her under-eye needs to be dodged a little. I would clone out her wispy hair, that is back-lit and shows up like spider webs. The 8x10 is slightly out of focus.
And I am thinking, man! When I start critiquing the chicken-man is when I need to stop BUYING the stupid packages and just have enough confidence with my own photography.
Back in the day, you had your individual photos--and you had one shot at those bad boys...so if your class was the unfortunate class who was scheduled to go in right after lunch, than odds are, some kid in your class had Cheetos cheeks. Or if you were the last class to be herded into the lunchroom for your turn, you have been through lunch, and all three recesses, and chances are your Little House on the Prairie curls that your mom shellacked with Aqua Net that morning were droopy or altogether non-existent.
Now, back in the day, this same company may have had some complaints about the process, because they did provide each victim with a black unbreakable comb, to try to smooth out the damage of the day before you ended up on grandma's piano in a cheap oak frame looking like you just came in from a busy day of rolling around on the playground grass. Forever. To the embarrassment of your mother, on the piano with your buck teeth and messy hair. Forever.
Then you had the added stress of the class photo. Everyone would line up on the stage, on the graduating stairs (tallest in the back, shortest in the front) and everyone hold your smile...and girl in the back, stand up straight! And boy in the second row, yes, YOU! DO NOT do rabbit ears to that girl's head in front of you! I SEE YOU! And someone would always have their eyes closed.
This particular photography business has a trademark gimmick of getting kids to smile. They have a rubber chicken that they throw at you. The look is more of shock than happy smile, but never-the-less, it can pass for a smile, that open-mouthed shock.
A couple years into the gimmick, they switched it up, and let the kids throw the chicken at the photographer. Then, the smiles were more of a sneer "take THAT chicken-man." A couple of expensive umbrella lights later, it seems like they have completely done away with the chickens.
I took Mikayla up to the school on toddler picture day, to have her photo taken, so she would match the other kids on our wall. After all, school pictures are a tradition! They are a rite of passage! They are a staple of every home in town! The chicken-man is a professional, for Pete's sake!
The minimum wage photographer was less than impressive. He was completely lifeless. He literally sat my four year old down on the carpeted pedestal and said "okay...smile."
Mikayla just looked at him, and blinked.
"Okay...say cheese!"
Really? Cheese? On toddler day?
How's that working out for you?
Where is the chicken? You neeeeeed the chicken!
Finally, I got behind the camera. I made her smile. And I still had to pay him for his "services."
I got them back today. They are not great. They are off-center. The color could use some saturation. Her under-eye needs to be dodged a little. I would clone out her wispy hair, that is back-lit and shows up like spider webs. The 8x10 is slightly out of focus.
And I am thinking, man! When I start critiquing the chicken-man is when I need to stop BUYING the stupid packages and just have enough confidence with my own photography.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
where did this week go?
It's Weigh-in Saturday. You know the day right before Pig-Out Sunday. HA!
Down again, only 1.5 pounds, making my total 8 pounds and some ounces. And thinking in terms of butter, you lay out 32 sticks of butter, and it looks pretty impressive to think I melted that off.
I wish it came off faster, but I am happy it is coming off at all....I would sure hate to go there, have them say "Well, you gained this week lard-butt. That will be twelve dollars."
I wonder how those stupid movie stars do it. You see them pregnant, and two weeks later, they are on the cover of Vogue in a string bikini.
Photoshop can only do so much.
But I guess it helps to have a cook, personal trainer, nanny, cleaning lady and be married to Brad Pitt.
I guess I would have enough time then, with the first three and I could definitely think of cardiovascular activities to do with the last one.
I heard Brad likes jogging.
Down again, only 1.5 pounds, making my total 8 pounds and some ounces. And thinking in terms of butter, you lay out 32 sticks of butter, and it looks pretty impressive to think I melted that off.
I wish it came off faster, but I am happy it is coming off at all....I would sure hate to go there, have them say "Well, you gained this week lard-butt. That will be twelve dollars."
I wonder how those stupid movie stars do it. You see them pregnant, and two weeks later, they are on the cover of Vogue in a string bikini.
Photoshop can only do so much.
But I guess it helps to have a cook, personal trainer, nanny, cleaning lady and be married to Brad Pitt.
I guess I would have enough time then, with the first three and I could definitely think of cardiovascular activities to do with the last one.
I heard Brad likes jogging.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Sunday, September 30, 2007
finding miracles
I know my posts as of late, have been on the ranting lunatic side, so I thought for a Sunday evening I would switch up my PMSing with a few recent miracles I have recognized.
You know, there are small tender mercies everyday in our lives, if we choose to look... (the link is an older LDS talk on the subject of tender mercies, and sums it all up much more eloquently than I ever could.
Here are my miracles from this week.
1- Busting all weekend long to get my laundry to a manageable heap. I ran a load through the washer, and was loading that batch into the dryer when the cycle was finished. Out clunked two fountain pens, and one of my Burt's Bees Lipsticks. NO laundry damage done! And they clunked out pre-dryer. I am counting that as a tender mercy. I have not been in the mood to Martha Stewart my laundry up.
2- Went to Walmart for my vitamins. They were out. I happened to look on the shelf above my vitamin spot, and lo and behold, someone had put a bottle in the wrong spot, and there it was. The last bottle in the store! MINE!
3- Driving to the post office to mail a package, getting all the way up to the front of the line and realizing that I left my debit card at home. Digging through my purse, I found enough quarters and various change to pay for the package.
4- While out running errands, the Suburban was acting funky. Every time it would slow down, (to stop at a light, or stop-sign) the engine would die. I would have to re-start it. Plus, I lost the power steering and brakes. It did this at every stop. It was raining, and cold, and I worried about walking or being stranded, and mostly for being that guy who has to get out and push their vehicle off the road to get it out of the way. It finally completely died in front of my own house.
5- Having a mechanically inclined husband, who took the suburban out to fix it, and single handedly figured out the $80.00 install it needed to run fabulously again.
A tank of gas.
You know, there are small tender mercies everyday in our lives, if we choose to look... (the link is an older LDS talk on the subject of tender mercies, and sums it all up much more eloquently than I ever could.
Here are my miracles from this week.
1- Busting all weekend long to get my laundry to a manageable heap. I ran a load through the washer, and was loading that batch into the dryer when the cycle was finished. Out clunked two fountain pens, and one of my Burt's Bees Lipsticks. NO laundry damage done! And they clunked out pre-dryer. I am counting that as a tender mercy. I have not been in the mood to Martha Stewart my laundry up.
2- Went to Walmart for my vitamins. They were out. I happened to look on the shelf above my vitamin spot, and lo and behold, someone had put a bottle in the wrong spot, and there it was. The last bottle in the store! MINE!
3- Driving to the post office to mail a package, getting all the way up to the front of the line and realizing that I left my debit card at home. Digging through my purse, I found enough quarters and various change to pay for the package.
4- While out running errands, the Suburban was acting funky. Every time it would slow down, (to stop at a light, or stop-sign) the engine would die. I would have to re-start it. Plus, I lost the power steering and brakes. It did this at every stop. It was raining, and cold, and I worried about walking or being stranded, and mostly for being that guy who has to get out and push their vehicle off the road to get it out of the way. It finally completely died in front of my own house.
5- Having a mechanically inclined husband, who took the suburban out to fix it, and single handedly figured out the $80.00 install it needed to run fabulously again.
A tank of gas.
Friday, September 28, 2007
guest designer
I have been asked to take part in an online class offered at NYCscraps. Debbie Hodge is teaching the class, and I am joined by Renae Clark, Erin Campbell Pope, Sheila Doherty, Jen Gallacher, and Sharyn Tormanen in creating the class samples.
It looks like a fun class, and a great way to scrap a large size stack of photos. If you want to check out a PDF of the class preview, you can do that HERE.
Registration starts now. The classes begin October 15, they run for five weeks, and include 15 total classes all for $25.00. Check it out if you are interested.
It looks like a fun class, and a great way to scrap a large size stack of photos. If you want to check out a PDF of the class preview, you can do that HERE.
Registration starts now. The classes begin October 15, they run for five weeks, and include 15 total classes all for $25.00. Check it out if you are interested.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
the twins and starving.
I did a photoshoot of my sisters twin boys.
Then I got to sit and hold them all afternoon. I am such a sucker for newborns! And these little guys are good babies. I could just eat them up...no, really...read on--
I am on week three of Weight Watchers. I think my body has finally figured out that this isn't some funny joke. It's NOT that we need to go to the grocery store. That I am really only feeding it those 24 measly points a day. For some reason I have been really hungry lately. And gassy from all the fiber and veggies. My body is rejecting all the good food.
I have been trying to cook new things, things that I can eat with my whole family. Cause you want the definition of torture? When you make a Fudge Cheesecake Swirl bundt cake with cream cheese glaze and sprinkles, and serve it up to the family, and watch them dig in while you snack on RICE CAKES. Salivating. And cursing life without cake.
Or when you have a mid-day snack, and settle on a healthy-good-for-you YOGURT, and after eating the whole thing, figure out that it cost you FIVE BLOODY FREAKING POINTS! And then later that day, when you are out of points, you curse the yogurt again, and try satisfy your stomach,(which by now is trying to eat itself for survival)by gnawing on the inside of your cheeks.
Sometimes I dream of nachos.
In my last fat farm meeting, they instructed us on "The Art of Visualization." We all had to visualize ourselves in January. We were to be specific. Like saying "In January I want to be a skinnier" is not specific enough. More like saying "In January, I want to flounce into a room full of my peers, wearing a size eight, and having all heads turn in envy." (HUGE eyeroll)
We had to write down on a 3x5 card what we visualized.
The girl next to me, bless her, was probably 5'2" and weighed in at I am guessing 210. She happened to be engaged to be married in January. Her card said "I visualize myself walking down the aisle in a six 6-8 wedding dress that is form fitting."
I visualize her setting herself up for failure.
The instructor went around the room and asked people to read their cards.
Good thing she skipped me.
I visualized myself not needing these cheesy meetings anymore.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
i guess this was their final response?
Hello Shaunte,
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.
It is our intent to treat you with courtesy, respect, and understanding and to provide the highest quality of service in all areas. We are sorry that you have been inconvenienced to the extent indicated in your e-mail.
Although this service is provided as a means of technical support for our customers, we appreciate any feedback about our company's products and services. The e-mail message you sent has been reviewed and forwarded to the proper individuals. We value your comments.
If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site
at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare
Sincerely,
Chiranjib
HP Total Care
What did that even say?
Why was that response even sent? It did not help me. Did not make me feel better. Did not offer a fix or an attempt to rectify the problem.
This leads me to ponder on honesty in the workplace.
Back in the day, I worked at a title company. We were overbooked every single day. Every day. And we had "special" clients, that we had to squeeze in at the drop of a hat.
Some days there was just not time to do everything we had lined up. I had to prepare documents for closings that were scheduled sometimes simultaneously between two closers, some of them in a different office, working another county.
As luck would have it, those were the days the "special" clients would call for a favor. There was literally no way I could squeeze those favors in. But...there was no way I could tell them "no" that we were too busy at the time. That immediately translates into "you are not as important to us as the other clients we are serving."
So I would lie. A lot.
I would say "you bet, I will get that right over to you."
And then I would work on my closings. The client would call back and say they hadn't received the document yet, and I would apologize and say it was in the queue to be faxed, or being delivered via our runner, or some other excuse to basically buy some time. Usually after hours, we would all catch up on all the little things like that.
Honest? No. But really, what would you rather be told? We are too busy?
So I look at the response HP took to my e-mail. And I wonder what I would rather be told. Obviously they do not intend to fix the problem. Would I rather be lied to? And told they are looking into the problem (when they really aren't)? That maybe my e-mail was being forwarded to a technician? That maybe they are aware of the problem, and are working on a solution?
Sometimes honesty is offensive and feels like a brush-off.
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.
It is our intent to treat you with courtesy, respect, and understanding and to provide the highest quality of service in all areas. We are sorry that you have been inconvenienced to the extent indicated in your e-mail.
Although this service is provided as a means of technical support for our customers, we appreciate any feedback about our company's products and services. The e-mail message you sent has been reviewed and forwarded to the proper individuals. We value your comments.
If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site
at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare
Sincerely,
Chiranjib
HP Total Care
What did that even say?
Why was that response even sent? It did not help me. Did not make me feel better. Did not offer a fix or an attempt to rectify the problem.
This leads me to ponder on honesty in the workplace.
Back in the day, I worked at a title company. We were overbooked every single day. Every day. And we had "special" clients, that we had to squeeze in at the drop of a hat.
Some days there was just not time to do everything we had lined up. I had to prepare documents for closings that were scheduled sometimes simultaneously between two closers, some of them in a different office, working another county.
As luck would have it, those were the days the "special" clients would call for a favor. There was literally no way I could squeeze those favors in. But...there was no way I could tell them "no" that we were too busy at the time. That immediately translates into "you are not as important to us as the other clients we are serving."
So I would lie. A lot.
I would say "you bet, I will get that right over to you."
And then I would work on my closings. The client would call back and say they hadn't received the document yet, and I would apologize and say it was in the queue to be faxed, or being delivered via our runner, or some other excuse to basically buy some time. Usually after hours, we would all catch up on all the little things like that.
Honest? No. But really, what would you rather be told? We are too busy?
So I look at the response HP took to my e-mail. And I wonder what I would rather be told. Obviously they do not intend to fix the problem. Would I rather be lied to? And told they are looking into the problem (when they really aren't)? That maybe my e-mail was being forwarded to a technician? That maybe they are aware of the problem, and are working on a solution?
Sometimes honesty is offensive and feels like a brush-off.
Converting to Vista
Stuff that really pisses me off. Some of my computer accessories, you know that I JUST BOUGHT don't work with Vista unless you download a patch or a plug-in. So I have been doing nothing but re-installing all the chit on my computer, and wasting a whole lot of time doing so.
This one takes the cake:
Here is my "contact us" online customer service ticket, which was received in India or Pakistan. My customer service agent was named "Chiranjib."
hp e-mail support
language_code : en
language : English
Country of Residence : United States
product_line : 4X
product_oid : 1849439
product_name : HP Scanjet G3010 Photo Scanner
part_number : L1985A
purchase month : 8
purchase year : 2006
problem area : other
serial number : CN715A560M
operating system : winvistahomebasic64
What software application are you using? : hp sCANJET g3010 pHOTO sCANNER hp pHOTOTSMART soFTWARE
problem description :
Hello.
I purchased this scanner solely for the purpose of being able to stitch two images together into one image.
Previously, I used the feature on the software called "Create" and then"Panorama."
However, recently I purchased a new computer with Vista (my older computer was a WIndows XP) and since the change, the program no longer has the "Create" and "Panorama" option. I have uninstalled, and re-installed the driver you recommend online for Windows VIsta, and neither option has the ability to stitch at all.
This scanner, like I said, was purchased for that reason only. Is there a patch, or something you can provide me with to allow me this function?
I am very frusterated and disappointed to have this feature missing with Vista.
troubleshooting : Mentioned above.
setting changes : Mentioned above.
first name : Shaunte
last name : Wadley
And HP's response:
Hello Shaunte,
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.
On reading your e-mail I understand you are unable to stitch two images together into one image on windows vista.
I sincerely regret the inconvenience caused and the level of discomfort experienced by you.
Shaunte, at present we do not have the patch to resolve this issue as the software worked with XP it clearly indicates that there is some issue with the vista operating system. if a patch is released by HP then we would definitely get back to you.
If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site
at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare
Sincerely,
Chiranjib
HP Total Care
And my response to their response:
Chiranjib-
Really?
What you are saying then, is that I have purchased a HP product that is barely a year old and now obsolete to me, because HP is unwilling to upgrade software? Wow. That is awesome customer service. This will definitely influence my future purchase decisions. I will be sure to forward this e-mail conversation to all my contacts and online forums to let them know how "helpful" HP is when upgrading to windows Vista.
All my other computer accessories had patches and/or plug-ins for Vista, and now function properly.
I hope you will forward this to your manager, or anyone else who might actually care. HP needs to get with the times, as most PC operating systems will eventually be Vista.
What a complete and utter disappointment.
So basically, I am stuck with a scanner that will not work on my computer. Sorry, ma'am. So that leaves me the option of last night, when I needed to get some layouts scanned in and e-mailed.
I can:
1- Scan both halves of my 12x12, and just e-mail them. The recipient can just use their imagination to see how pretty the finished product might look, you know NOT SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE!
or:
2- Take digital photos of the layouts, which I have to upload to the computer, edit, crop, resize, and THEN e-mail to myself so I can have them on my new computer. And why is that last step necessary? Oh yeah, cause my new computer DOES NOT recogize my card reader OR MY CANON CAMERA. But the old one does. So I have to upload everything downstairs, and e-mail it upstairs.
It's a good thing I don't drink.
And it's a good thing that HP outsources their customer service to another country, one that I couldn't use my free flights to get to easily. With a gun.
This one takes the cake:
Here is my "contact us" online customer service ticket, which was received in India or Pakistan. My customer service agent was named "Chiranjib."
hp e-mail support
language_code : en
language : English
Country of Residence : United States
product_line : 4X
product_oid : 1849439
product_name : HP Scanjet G3010 Photo Scanner
part_number : L1985A
purchase month : 8
purchase year : 2006
problem area : other
serial number : CN715A560M
operating system : winvistahomebasic64
What software application are you using? : hp sCANJET g3010 pHOTO sCANNER hp pHOTOTSMART soFTWARE
problem description :
Hello.
I purchased this scanner solely for the purpose of being able to stitch two images together into one image.
Previously, I used the feature on the software called "Create" and then"Panorama."
However, recently I purchased a new computer with Vista (my older computer was a WIndows XP) and since the change, the program no longer has the "Create" and "Panorama" option. I have uninstalled, and re-installed the driver you recommend online for Windows VIsta, and neither option has the ability to stitch at all.
This scanner, like I said, was purchased for that reason only. Is there a patch, or something you can provide me with to allow me this function?
I am very frusterated and disappointed to have this feature missing with Vista.
troubleshooting : Mentioned above.
setting changes : Mentioned above.
first name : Shaunte
last name : Wadley
And HP's response:
Hello Shaunte,
Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.
On reading your e-mail I understand you are unable to stitch two images together into one image on windows vista.
I sincerely regret the inconvenience caused and the level of discomfort experienced by you.
Shaunte, at present we do not have the patch to resolve this issue as the software worked with XP it clearly indicates that there is some issue with the vista operating system. if a patch is released by HP then we would definitely get back to you.
If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.
For information on keeping your HP and Compaq products up and running, please visit our Web site
at:
http://www.hp.com/go/totalcare
Sincerely,
Chiranjib
HP Total Care
And my response to their response:
Chiranjib-
Really?
What you are saying then, is that I have purchased a HP product that is barely a year old and now obsolete to me, because HP is unwilling to upgrade software? Wow. That is awesome customer service. This will definitely influence my future purchase decisions. I will be sure to forward this e-mail conversation to all my contacts and online forums to let them know how "helpful" HP is when upgrading to windows Vista.
All my other computer accessories had patches and/or plug-ins for Vista, and now function properly.
I hope you will forward this to your manager, or anyone else who might actually care. HP needs to get with the times, as most PC operating systems will eventually be Vista.
What a complete and utter disappointment.
So basically, I am stuck with a scanner that will not work on my computer. Sorry, ma'am. So that leaves me the option of last night, when I needed to get some layouts scanned in and e-mailed.
I can:
1- Scan both halves of my 12x12, and just e-mail them. The recipient can just use their imagination to see how pretty the finished product might look, you know NOT SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE!
or:
2- Take digital photos of the layouts, which I have to upload to the computer, edit, crop, resize, and THEN e-mail to myself so I can have them on my new computer. And why is that last step necessary? Oh yeah, cause my new computer DOES NOT recogize my card reader OR MY CANON CAMERA. But the old one does. So I have to upload everything downstairs, and e-mail it upstairs.
It's a good thing I don't drink.
And it's a good thing that HP outsources their customer service to another country, one that I couldn't use my free flights to get to easily. With a gun.
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