Friday, August 10, 2007

867-5309

Yesterday, I got up and went walking with the walking group again.

I was feeling like I could get a jump on my day when I came back and the whole rest of the house was asleep, so I tip-toed around my sleeping darlings and gathered up some laundry. Man! I am a front-runner for Mother of the Year I am sure. I was even so efficient, I threw in the very shorts that I went walking in that morning.

I put the load in the dryer a bit later, and heard the ever-so-familiar "clunk-clunk-clunk" of something in a pocket that shouldn't be there. I checked all of Shayne's shorts. He is my rock collector, and that is what the clunk sounded like. I am a master of the clunks. I can tell in the other room what the object is. "Oooh, mama's got some change...sounds like a quarter, and two nickels..." Shayne's pockets were clean. Whoa, I was way off! I kept digging, until I came reluctantly to my own gym shorts, and pulled out my cell phone. Freshly bleached and oxy-cleaned.

So later that evening, we took a trip to the big city--to THE MALL. To replace the cell phones. Now, the amazing part here, is that this all happened in a timely manner. Normally, with Wadley luck, the whole washing of the phone thing would have happened the day after I got a new cell phone. Our contract goes two years, and it just so happened that the two years are NOW, and I was due for a new phone. SO TAKE THAT, FATE!

While at the mall. With all the kids. We walked around a bit. With all the kids. Everything has changed, of course since I used to go there quite a bit as a teen. And yet, oddly enough, THE CLOTHES ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!

It was like I never left.
They are bringing the 80's back.

I had heard this, and knew this in the back of my head, but to see it...was weird.

I was sort-of excited to see the leggings and long shirts, thinking I could finally wear something besides the horrible combo of low-rise pants, and too-short shirts. I have had such a frustrating past few years tugging and pulling as to not expose to the world my fluffy muffin-top that spills out over my pants where my waist used to be.

Then I got a good look at the leggings and long shirts of today. Leggings, okay. Tight, capri length, (no stir-ups yet). Check. Long shirts...um...also skin tight, and form fitting. Those ain't no 80's shirts. And they certainly aren't going to do a whole lot for hiding the flab-belt I have.

So yet again, it's a skinny girls world. Crap.

And I had to laugh too, cause I guess they brought back the whole turn-your-polo-shirt-collar-up thing too. I painfully remember that. I remember my grandma always folding it down for me, when she saw me with it up. And my aunts, and strangers on the street. I remember begging my mom to please, please just turn your collar up, you are wearing a polo shirt already, and just make it be cool. And I remember her telling me she thought it looked stupid that way, and mom's don't have to be cool.

It does look stupid.

And I had to physically step away from the teenagers with their collars up, cause I just wanted to go over and fold their collars down for them. It was like a compulsive reflex that I couldn't control. Like when you see a crooked picture in a strangers house, and you just want to FIX IT.

I guess I have become my mother. But with a new cell phone.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're more than stylin'...with that fanny pack and all. (snort).

I should talk...I shop at Walmart in the Fat Lady department aka: 'Tents R Us'. Yea...I'm totally fab...uh huh. Or as Wendy always says; "They can't handle this 'Gravy Train'!"(double snort).

Ursula Page said...

Girl - you crack me up! I hate those 80's fashions too...I already wore them once. Think they will bring back florescent colors?

{Susan...Seriously.} said...

too funny...i want some maternity parachute pants...that would be funny or maybe a little scary!! i'm such an 80s child, but think i'll pass on some of those fashions. {love the title song AND a-ha--fave 80s vid.}

Mimi said...

I have a polo shirt, and wore it to a recent family even (it's updated and all, and my collar was down) and my mom giggled all day, "snicker, you are wearing a polo shirt. Snicker."

In my defense, it did not have an alligator on it.

Anonymous said...

Dude... we saw stirrup pants whilst visiting Chicago Nordstrom. Granted, they were in the Brass Plum, but they exist. It was a sad, sad day...

Jennifer Sizemore said...

OMG _ I am so with you. I just took my niece and her girlfriend shopping. St first, I thought everything looked very 80's. I was wrong - so wrong. Because in the 80's - the top of my bra did not show - nor was it pink or green.

Anonymous said...

When Haley and I were shopping at Nordy's last month, they DID have stirrup pants. Honestly, I love the 80s look, but for kids & teens. Me, not so much!