Monday, April 04, 2011

I've Been Drinking.

Recently a friend mentioned to me this new/really old diet plan.(I remember the Grapefruit! 45! diet going around when I was still in Garanimals.)
You are supposed to drink a cup of grapefruit juice (Unsweetened 100 percent grapefruit) before every meal. It is supposed to suppress your appetite.

Some lucky duck nameless friend-of-a-friend coincidentally lost like 6 pounds in less than one week doing this!

It's the same garbage you hear when someone tells you about the new Cabbage Diet, or the Cayenne Pepper Cleanse. I swear there is a new "get skinny super quick" plan every week. And someone knows someone who dropped weight just like (snaps fingers) THAT!
It was easy!
It is healthy!
I never buy into this crap.

However, the friend that is telling me all this, looks thinner than I have ever seen her. "I have been doing it for a while," she said "I don't know if I have lost weight or not, since I don't get on the scale, but my pants fit super, super loose-I even have to DRY THEM NOW. All the way. In the dryer."
And her pants were still baggy.
Her tight pants, people.

The only reason I put any stock into this whole debacle is because when I was pregnant, and in my first trimester puking my guts out- the only thing that would settle my stomach was a grapefruit. No lie. You would think all that acid would churn things up worse, but no. I peeled those suckers and ate them like an orange, and miraculously kept them down.

Therefore, I scientifically deducted that there must be some truth to the whole grapefruit affecting the stomach claim.

I am reporting back that I have been doing it for about three weeks.
Tanking back on the bitter, and vile juice. Ocean Spray was onto something, watering this junk down, and mixing it with apple juice.
Straight up grapefruit is almost painful.

I have lost exactly no pounds.
However, I have noticed that the reason it suppresses your appetite, is because it makes anything you eat following the juice taste like complete ka-ka.
It literally kills your taste buds for a good hour.
But then after that, you have to try to revive those poor shriveled taste buds, and cleanse the horrid aftertaste from your palate.

Chocolate is the only thing that works for this.

Oh, and the friend who told me about grapefruit juice diet?
The suddenly really skinny friend?
Finally caved and admitted she has been importing Mexican diet pills.

4 comments:

Heather said...

Ha - I could have told you girl that the Mexican diet pills are the only way to lose the weight!! :0)

Amy Sorensen said...

I have two comments:

1. I totally get the pregnancy/citrus fruit connection. When I was teaching and pregnant, I would tell my students "I'm having an orange emergency!" and then rush down to the faculty lounge for my cold orange, peel it, then rush back to class where I would teach while eating said orange. TOTALLY get that!

2. Where can I get some Mexican diet pills???????????????

Cammee said...

It's sad that I was ready to go buy grapefruit juice and now I'm pissed that you didn't give the source for the Mexican diet pills.

Penny said...

I want more info on the diet pills too!