Monday, February 26, 2007

Ten Random Things

I feel guilty from the blog neglect, so here are a quick random ten to catch you up on life here in the Wadley Asylum.

1- Without too many gucky details, lets just say that I am drinking a lot of cranberry juice today....
2- Got my order from, such awesome deals for a buck?! And they charged actual shipping, kept it cheap.
3- Been jealous of Britney Spears. Seriously. Can you imagine how liberating it would be to shave your hair off?
4- Remember how I am a Cub Scout Master? Been planning our Blue and Gold Banquet, which is Wednesday. I will be glad to have that behind me...
5- Been sloooooowly learning my iMac, typing on it now, in fact. So many things are frusterating, I just need patience. And caffeine.
6- Enjoying my crocuses! Faint glimmer of hope that warmer weather is coming...
7- Recently discovered "My Name is Earl." Sam and I watched season one on DVD, in increments, while sitting in the jetted tub. This could explain #1.
8- Had a couple of things published this week. I get excited every time. That part of this hobby never gets old.
9- Paid off our dentist bill! YAY! Just in time to schedule everyone for another check-up.
10- Cropped friday night AND saturday night with friends. Did I get a lot done? No. But I laughed and ate snacks and drank myself silly on Mountain Dew. Which again, #1 is not looking so surprising.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Seeing double.

I got an e-mail from my baby sister tonight, with photos from her ultrasound....I immediately saw the two sacks in her belly! I am going to be the aunt to TWINS in August. It will be her first (and second), and she and her hubby are both so excited, and up to the challenge I think.

Obviously they learned nothing from tending my kids for me. Guys, you know how this happened don't you? Well? Shay, we had "the talk." Did my kids not scare you off?

So apparently twins run in our family. My Shayne and Shianne will be eight this year. I still remember the day I found out we were expecting a small litter.

The doctor was in the middle of my ultrasound, he was panning around, making organs out of blurry blobs with the traditional running commentary:

Doctor: "....and here are the pancreas, they look great, and you can see the liver...."

Me: nodding, and pretending that I can see what he is pointing at, and pretending that I know what a pancreas is..

Doctor: "...and here is the heart, both chambers look good...."

Me: ...ooooo, I SEE that! excited, cause I really could see it, cause it was beating!

Me: feeling confident from being able to make sense of a gray splotch..."Hey you better check and see if there are two in there"....snicker, snicker

Doctor: Panning over, runs right into another embryo..."Oh yes, there are two", and continues with the same measuring.

Me: thinking the doctor was just being silly, but he was writing the fake measurements down on the chart....??

me<----panic! What? Two?

Sam: "Wow, that looks really real!"

Doctor: "Well, this IS the live production."

Me: !

Doctor: turning with alarm at my chalk white face "Didn't you know you were having twins?"

Us: "No." (!!)

Doctor: snickering now... "Well, congrats, it looks like you dropped two eggs this time!"

Me: mind racing.....where are we going to fit two more car seats, we need another crib, I am going to get huge, do I need to take two prenatal vitamins now, where can we fit two cribs, we are going to have FOUR KIDS IN DIAPERS, I am going to need mental help.....

Sam: Oh yeahhhhh, I can fertilize anything!

And all too soon, they came. Just shy of 36 weeks, healthy and pink, and I could breathe again!

We had some sleepless nights, where Sam and I would each take a baby, and sit in our bed and talk while the babies ate. We laughed a lot, cause things are pretty funny at 3:00 am. Life was a drunken blur, but without the alcohol.

I remember paying through the nose for preemie diapers. Spending a fortune on formula. Searching in vain for socks that would actually stay on those little chicken legs. Trying to go places by myself with a three year old, an eighteen month old, and two newborn infants in bulky car seats.

Things were hard at times, but the good outweighed the bad. I would do it all again. Sometimes, I wish I could do it all again. I would enjoy it more, and hold those little babies more.

On the other hand, I might shoot myself.

So Shay and Rob, I know you sometimes pop in on my blog...I am so thrilled for you! Enjoy every little minute. Such a miracle, and a fleeting one at that.

And if you have need of a sitter, I know a willing and very experienced one...

Grandma Kathy.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

I'm Big in Japan.

Okay, not Japan, but the UK at least. And I don't know if *big* is the word, really.

I was honoured to be asked to do a featured project for the British scrapbook magazine "Scrapbook Inspirations"

I have a couple projects, a headshot, and a designer biography. I haven't seen it yet, and they may just recieve the projects and call them "rubbish" and flush them down the loo. Colour me silly....I am still going to claim to be big in the UK.

And my mum will be proud.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Happy V-day to me.

Sam got me the coolest Valentines gift.

It was a 'Love Pearl." I don't know who named it, cause the name is cheesy.

From the box:

"God creates Woman and pearl as well

Pearl is gestated with its matrix clam

which is like the brilliant experience of a woman

True love gestated"

-Made in China (I think something got lost in translation, cause I have no clue what that means)

It was a box, with a necklace. The necklace has a cage pendant, and inside the box with the necklace was this sardine-looking pull-tab can. You open the can, and inside is this clam, floating in some stinky brine. You make a wish, and pry open the pearl (the box included a plastic pry-bar that I found after I used my nails). When you free the pearl from the clam, it slips inside the cage pendant on the necklace. There are different colors of pearls inside of the clams. Kinda the luck of the draw on what you get. There are:

White--for Health

Cream--for Happiness

Peach--For Love

Lavender--for Wisdom

Gold--for Wealth

Non-discriminant Beige--for You Have Been a Jerk to your Husband on your Blog and Don't Deserve this Gift.

I bet you can guess what color I got? No?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

We made up.

Sam and I are good now.

Thanks for the support and e-mails, I think more than anything, sometimes a girl needs to just vent, and honestly, I felt a whole lot better simply by typing it all out and sending it off into cyberspace.

He got a lot of ends tied up around the house yesterday, leftover crud from our remodel...installed all the door-knobs, took a load of misc. board and siding remnants that cluttered the yard, picked up the countertops....

I think that maybe, it was all the unfinished-ness that made me crack.

Also, I may be PMSing.

Anyway, for clarification purposes, I still love the guy. I would hate the thoughts of training a new one. Besides, not very many men out there would put up with all of my quirks.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Happy Birthday Brendan!

Nine years ago today, I was in the recovery room at American Fork Hospital just after a scheduled c-section. Still numb, a little queasy, but emotionally overwhelmed and humbled at the perfect 7 pound miracle placed into our lives.

A middle child, of sorts, born just 18 months after his older brother, and followed up 17 months later by a set of twins. Brendan has always been a little ignored, only because he has never been demanding, which makes a mothers heart break, looking back at the irony.

A little accident prone, but an awesome off-the-wall sense of humor. I love this kid! Such a blessing and a joy.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

pity party inside

No one in this house does anything without being asked.

Several, several times.

I am curious. Can it be that I am the only one who sees the constant mess? Or smells the dirty laundry? Am I the only one trained in toilet flushing? Am I the only one certified in empty milk jug disposal?

This is not the life I had envisioned for myself. Being a butler, maid, floor scrubber, stuffed animal seamstress, coupon clipper, events coordinator, stain fighter, short order cook, chauffeur, lost treasure finder, referee, hair-dresser, minor ailment diagnostic technician, gift purchasing agent, and general doormat leaves me rather tired.

All the time.

I have long given up on the parasitic vermin that Sam calls "our children".

I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself, cause I am married, and I am supposed to have a 50/50 partner in this whole parenting thing, and man, *someone* is coming up pretty dad-gum short lately. I am pretty safe venting here, since reading this blog would actually require him to care enough about what I was thinking and how I felt to actually google my name.

You want some examples? Oh, okay....let me think for about one nano-second, and give you five off the top of my head:

1) The school the kids go to have a special "Dad's and Doughnuts Day" where the Dads come to school, hang out in the lunchroom reading books with the kids for about 30 minutes. Then they all get a doughnut, and the Dad's are heroes, and the kids talk about that magical afternoon for months afterwards. They *used* to have a "Mom's and Munchies Day" where the Mom's got to come, and work on MATH PROBLEMS (<----yeah, I am shouting here) but due to budgetary issues, we don't even get to do that. Off subject here....
So, needless to day, this week was one of the Dad's and doughnuts days. I posted the flyer on the fridge...and the day of, that particular child mentioned how great it was going to be to have Dad come to school. Guess who gets yelled at?
"It sure would have been nice to have been told that this was coming up..."
It sure would be nice for you to: help with homework, go pick up puke boy from the office, make an appearance at the awards assembly, pull a visual aid book report out of your butt the night before it was due, drag five kids to the store to pick Valentines, put together four gift baskets for teacher appreciation day, oh, and take care of the monthly bulletin board in the foyer of the school. Then, maybe, just maybe you would KNOW when your one measly day was for you to inconvenience yourself and go pig out on a doughnut.

2) Being ornery at the grocery store doesn't make us spend less or need less food. It just makes me mad. At you. I hate it there too. In fact, I hate it worse, cause everything that goes in that cart represents more work for me. Laundry items. Food. Cleaning supplies. More food. I would rather not go to the store at all, but last time I sent you there alone, you came home with Twinkies and a Four-Wheeler magazine. Not a lot there to raise healthy kids on.

3) When I call you at work to tell you the kids are sucking the life out of me, because once again they have used all the blankets and chairs in the house to make a field of M*A*S*H units, do not tell me that I need to spend more time with them, and enjoy their creativity. This being said, while you are AWAY with other ADULTS feasting upon conversation that doesn't include Pokemon.

4) It's a hamper. Use it.

5) And that annoying buzzing sound? It's the dryer. It's where *magically* clean clothes are dispensed. Clothes that need to be folded, and put away.
By me. And me only.
I fear that with my heart condition and my caffeine levels, if anyone else took care of that job I would plain old kill over from the sheer shock.

Don't even get me started on the whole home remodel honey-do list.

Man, it's a good thing Valentines Day is coming up. A day for me to express my unbridled passion and deep appreciation for the man I fell in love with and married...and want to spend the rest of my life with.

I am thinking of a lot of really great gifts....

Thursday, February 08, 2007

finding inspiration

Another layout challenge. Me and my scrappin' friend Laura are trying new things! Go us! The challenge this time was to use an advertisement from a magazine to get inspiration. Here is mine:

I like how it turned out, and it was a lot easier to look at something...than to pull a whole design out of my butt. I am thinking I need to try this more often.
And speaking of finding unexpected inspiration, I painted my new studio. I got a package from Karen Foster Design, that contained a very cool new scrap apron: and since Laura hasn't taught me yet how to link all fancy, you get this:
to see the cool apron. I loved the color. It reminds me of swimming pools and white beaches. I took the whole apron to the paint place and had them match it. (Just the blue part;)) It came out being a color named "Sea Turtle." Better than Cat Piss....
We picked up some slat wall today, and as soon as I provide Sam with enough *ahem* "marital motivation" and the slat wall gets installed, I will post some pictures of the studio.
I am off to find food for the children!

Monday, February 05, 2007

this post doesn't deserve a title

I hate vacuuming stairs. <---and is that how you spell vacuuming? doesn't look right. Makes me hate it even more, cause it's spelled stupid.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

new layouts

Before I commence into the Saturday cleaning frenzy, I thought I would post my projects I did last night. Some new Polar Bear Press stuff, which I have about a billion pictures to match with the new colors. Very inspiring....and a layout I did for a monochromatic challenge laid forth my by friend Laura. I had fun with Photoshop, changing the photos to the blue color.
Happy Saturday!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

I'm home.

You didn't know I was gone, did you?

Sam won a truck on auction, and we decided to fly out Monday night to pick it up. This, we decided at about 2:00, with the flight leaving at 5:45. So we busted hump, cleaning house, arranging sitters, packing, banking, re-scheduling. Made the flight, landed in Texas at 7:45.

We stayed overnight in a hotel, rented a super-compact car, and drove out to the auction site.

We got the paperwork, and they sent us out to the yard. This auction site buys cars from insurance companies that have been theft-recovered, wrecked, flooded or otherwise damaged. They try to be specific about the "injuries" sustained to the vehicle, but I guess it is always a little bit of a crap-shoot.

Our truck was a theft recovery that was supposed to be drivable. So, we show up at the lot, hand the man our paperwork, and he says "where is your tow-truck."
Ugh. All of a sudden it hits me. We are idiots. The magnitude of our adventure hits us both. We flew to Texas to drive home a vehicle, to Utah, 1100 miles away, and we have no idea what is wrong with it.

It is as if we fed $3000.00 into a vending machine with no buttons, and hope for the best.

We told the gate man it was supposed to be drivable. He nodded at us (good luck, my naive friends) and told us the fork lift would bring the truck to us. Fork lift?

Oh yes, a big fork lift. Scooped up the truck, and literally dumped it in the crunchy gravel at our feet. Then, like the morning fog, he was gone. Everyone was gone. It was me and Sam, and our rental skate and our new truck.

She had no windows on the passenger or drivers side, just some opaque plastic and some thick tape. There was no radio, in fact, there wasn't much of a dashboard. The tail-lights were questionable. But the gauges worked, we think.

Tentatively Sam got in, and as luck would have it, she started....there was hope.

I followed Sam back to the rental car place. About half-way there, he punched his fists through the plastic taping up the windows. That was when he first noticed how bad that truck smelled. I think a whole family, nay, a HERD of tom cats had nested inside the truck. It smelled so strong of cat urine. Sam dubbed her "Cat-Piss."

We really had some guardian angels looking out for us. The rental car agency shared the same building with an auto body shop. I got a recommendation for glass replacement. And the glass boy happened to be coming to the shop for another repair anyway, and loaded our windows on the truck. He came, and took the keys, and Cat-Piss, and took her around to the bay to install the windows. He had been gone for about 45 minutes, when I realized that our truck was gone. We were sitting in an auto body shop, in Texas. Stranded. For all we knew, they painted it a different color, and drove it across the border to sell in Mexico!
"Sam, go check!!!!" <----me panicking!

He went out to look, and lo and behold, they were done! CP had working windows!

Nothing was stopping us now. I sprayed CP out with some industrial deodorizer I found in the auto body bathroom. (It didn't help much.) And off we went. First stop: Gas Station. Sam checks all the fluids. (good-check) Airs up the tires. (good-check) and fills 'er up. Problem. The nozzle is in the hole, but the gas is streaming on the cement. The fuel line had been cut.

Off to the auto parts place, where Sam splices the fuel line. We also bought some Little Tree air fresheners.

CP turns out to be a great vehicle! She runs like a champ! In spite of the little glitches, and the smell, we consider ourselves pretty lucky about the whole deal.

Now, the exciting part.

You know I have the new scrapbook studio. And crucial to my organizing of the joint is an IKEA Expedit shelf unit. Do we have an IKEA by me? No. The closest one is in Arizona. fate would have it, AZ is on the way home from TX. Sort-of. So I Map-Quested our route, and included a stop in Tempe.

And I got it. I HAVE THE EXPEDIT! We loaded it in the back of CP, tarped it over, drove through the blizzards of Flagstaff, the rains of Page, and the canyons of southern Utah.

It is a thing of beauty and worth the nose-bleeds of breathing vanilla-roma cat-urine for 15 hours.