Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Let's change the subject, shall we?

I am trying to count my blessings today.
I am still feeling sorry for myself.
Wallowing in it, actually.
Truth be told, it is just a dang good excuse to wear pajama pants and watch junky TV shows. (America's Next Top Model, anyone?)

We are wrapping up football/soccer season in the next couple of weeks.
Then, the family schedule will be a whole lot less stressful.
I got a few really great shots this year of the boys playing.

They are actually at the age now, where they appreciate that their mom is a little freaky about taking pictures of everything.

This shot was right after Brendan kicked a goal.
Shayne is on his team this year.
High Five! (Or middle five...whatever works.)

The next couple are super crappy.
It was a night game, and a zoom lens.
Jayden caught a pass, and ran it.

Now I know, that most of you are thinking, "well, yeah, that is generally how football is played."
Let me give you a little background on Jayden:

The kid hasn't hit his growth spurt yet.
One day, when I was downstairs unloading the dishwasher or something stimulating like that, he yelled at me from upstairs.
"MOM!! Come QUICK!"
His voice had a certain urgency to it, and my heart was in my throat as I ran upstairs to find him.
He was on the bathroom scale.
"LOOOOK!" he said, "HURRY!"
The scale registered 100.2 pounds.
"I broke 100!" he said, "hurry and LOOK, cause I really need to take a dump."
(He knew that *ahem* "nature" would drop him back under the 100 pound mark.)

Like I said, hasn't hit his growth spurt.
He is a skinny kid.

This is his first year playing football, and he has really done well.
What he lacks in stature, he makes up for in drive.
He has worked his little butt off, and I am proud of him.

Here are some projects that I made for the last trade show:
Some Halloween Shapes from Quickutz

A layout with the Fall line from Karen Foster

And what I call a "grid layout."
These are layouts I periodically do to capture little things that don't warrant a whole layout by themselves. Plus it is a great way to use up those spare things (single deco brads, charms or stickers) that are left over from other projects.

I think that is all I have.
Off to wash some uniforms...

Monday, September 28, 2009

What the effffffffffffffff.

My thyroid came back completely NORMAL.

Someone hold me.
Back to square one...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

A whole lot of nothin' for a $25.00 co-pay.

"How are you?" the smiling, green scrub-clad doctor asked me.
"Well, aside from being bat-$hit crazy, I guess I am doing okay" I said.
He chuckled.
I didn't.
Then I cut right to the heart of the matter and brought out my notebook.
Oh yes, I did.
I wrote it alllll down.
I didn't want to miss a thing.
He nodded thoughtfully and made notes as I spoke.
I am pretty sure he was just doodling, but he made a good pretense of the note-taking.
I rattled off everything that was going on with me. Physically. Emotionally.
Then, when I got to the end of the list, he looked up nodding in that knowingly slash sympathetic way and said "you are text-book premenopausal."

Emphasis on text-book.

I seriously can't grasp why guys like this get paid real money.
Google told me I was premenopausal.
I bet there is a Wonderpets episode on menopause.
I want help, not an obvious diagnosis.

I told him that.

Then he said, "99 percent of women that come through that door have one of three things they are concerned about: not being able to lose weight, non-existing libido and lack of energy. If I could fix those things, I would be a very wealthy man."

I knew right then, that this visit was not going to go as I had planned in my head.

We talked a while longer, and he offered to put me on birth control.

I was wondering if he knew that the best form of birth control EVER would be to just keep me like I was.

Birth control?

There were other things mentioned too, don't get me wrong, but apparently there isn't a quick fix for me.
I can't just get Advil Menopause with Anti-Crazy.

I am pretty sure my thyroid is off, so we are starting there, and then beginning a journey down what looks like a very long road of try and try again.

Then, he hands me a very large paper towel festooned with flowers, and looking very much like the roll of Bounty in my kitchen, and leaves me to the undressing for the exam.

I am sure I am not the only woman in the world who undresses, ready for a virtual stranger to see all her business, yet feels compelled to hide her underwear.

There I am standing in nothing but tissue,(my back-end not even covered) and stuffing my bra and undies into the leg of my jeans so they can't be seen.
What is that?

Sparing you the details of the exam, it was over quickly, and this year I scooted down far enough the first time. Yay me.

"This might pinch a little." is a huge, big fat lie of an understatement.

Then some blood work.
Then back to the car.

And when I was in the car, I realized that nothing was accomplished.

Granted, the blood work will be a start.
I need to have patience.

But I was still a little frustrated.
I felt sweaty.
So I went to Wendy's a got a large frosty.
The End.

Friday, September 18, 2009


Can I just say how happy it has made me to read your comments and realize that I am not the only one with the crazies?
Or maybe crazies attract crazies?
Either way, thank you for making me have hope again.

In spite of the hormone festival, here is what we have been doing lately.
A little of this:

You can see our tiny jeeps circled in the photo:

Beautiful scenery (although the leaves have not changed yet. Soon though!)

A picnic with grandpa's famous pasta salad:

A little bit of soccer for Shayne and Brendan.

With a super-hot and studly coach.
Their Dad:

A winning goal kick!

And Jayden is in football this year.

The only reason that I tuned into football games when I was younger was to see the cute man-bums in those tight football pants.
Now that it is my own SON and his geeky friends, it is a little eeew for me.

Since Sam is only working two jobs, over seeing building a new bowling center, being the executive secretary for the ward, coaching the soccer team and generally being a dad, we figured he could squeeze assistant football coach in there.
Besides, living with me lately, has made it pretty tempting to be gone.
Anywhere but home.
I can't blame him.
I wish I could leave me too.

Today, we are venturing out to the State Fair.
I am hoping to find freaky things to make me feel a little better about myself.

I just made these cookies to take along. I clipped the recipe from a magazine, and they are actually good! They are cookies with some serious substance.
Just one of them filled me up.
Cookies for breakfast?
I like it...
And an internet stolen image:

Breakfast Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1-1/4 cups sugar
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 cup water
1 egg
1 Tbsp. vanilla
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup milk chocolate pieces
3 cups Cherrios
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. In large mixing bowl beat butter and peanut butter with electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar, baking soda, and salt. Beat until combined, scraping sides of bowl. Beat in water, egg, and vanilla until combined. Beat in flour until combined. Beat in as much of the rolled oats as you can with mixer. Stir in any remaining rolled oats. Stir in choc. chips and Cheerios.
2. Drop dough by scant 1/4 cupfuls about 3 inches apart onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten slightly. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Cool on cookie sheet for 5 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely. Store cookies in tightly covered container for up to 5 days or freeze for up to 3 months. Makes 24 (2-cookie) servings.

I will report back later on the fair.
Photos will follow.
And I'll be sure to eat lots of fried things on a stick.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

This too shall pass, yes?

My hormones are out of control.
I am not going to lie, things have been pretty tense around here.

Never fear, I have a doctors appointment set, and I am not leaving that place until I am fixed.

It really, really sucks to get old(er).

I haven't even tried to figure what is going on with my mood swings.
I used to be able to keep my crap together, and knew when "my bad week" was coming for the month.
I would stock up on some chocolate or something, and get through it.
Now, however, it seems like I only have one "good week" a month.
Some days, I am filled with a bitter sort of rage...I feel like I could implode at any minute.

Other days I cry a lot.
From overwhelming blessings...(gratitude)
Because I found a picture of the kids when they were babies...(nostalgia)
Remembering what it was like eating Lofthouse cookies without guilt. (wistfulness)
Or generally weeping from plain old anxiety.

I am super fun to be around when I am like this.
It is like living with Bruce Banner.

I am a hot mess o' crazy right now.
I can't even tear my own hair out, cause, well...it's leaving of it's own free will.

My hair is shedding.
Every day, after I shower, I am picking hairs off of my body, the counter, the floor. The stray hairs tickle the back of my arms, and drive me insane until I find them.
I have been known to ask random strangers in grocery stores to "please see if they can see a hair by the back of my arm?"
"Get it?"

The hair that is falling out of my head, is growing on my chin.
Or my moles.
I have invested in a very expensive pair of precision tweezers.
It is almost a full-time job, the tweezing.

I bought a nose-hair trimmer.

The bloating.
Night sweats.
Day sweats.
Random break-outs of acne? WTH? I am 30 freaking SEVEN!

The only thing that had been bringing me happiness is my nightly bowl of ice cream.
I wanted to share with you, my fine reading pool: My Recipe for Happiness.

And also, because if I am gaining weight from all this happiness, then I need to make my friends a little fatter too, so we can just love each other in spite of our physical imperfections.

Do you have a can of evaporated milk?
Do you have ten minutes?
And some ice cream?
Then proceed to the happy place:

Hot Fudge Sauce
1 c. sugar
3 T. cocoa
6 T. butter
3/4 c. evaporated milk

Boil for five minutes, stirring constantly then add:
1 t. vanilla

Let it cool a bit, and top that ice cream!

I store mine in the fridge in an empty frosting container.

Rinse that pan out, and let's go again!

Caramel Sauce
1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. packed brown sugar
6 T. butter
3/4 c. evaporated milk

Boil for five minutes, stirring constantly then add:
1 t. vanilla

Cool a bit, and top your second bowl of ice cream.
Or third.
Whatever you need.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Canada Episode III (final)

I totally know that you guys don't care about the final post, cause it has been so long and all, but I finally edited everything else, and dimmit! I am posting the rest of the trip.

Let's see where we left off...
Oh yes, heading out to Prince Edward Island to see ANNE!
Also Green Gables.
The Anne of Green Gables.
That Anne Girl.
Anne with an "E."
I heart her.
On the way out to PEI, every turn of the freeway opened up a beautiful new scene.

It sure beat the trash strewn freeways of Utah.
We reached one particular crest in the road to have it open up into a sweeping field of yellow wildflowers.
The whole hillside was covered!
Before I could catch my breath long enough to holler out "STOP!" Sam had already pulled over.
The van doors opened, and all the kids climbed out, skidded down the gravel roadside, and posed for the paparazzi mom.

You know you are bad when you don't even have to ask anymore.
The family knows a photo-op when they see it.
Seriously though, beautiful, eh?

Since Prince Edward Island is well, an island, to get to it from Nova Scotia, you have to take a bridge.
A seventeen MILE BRIDGE.
Over the water.
With nothing below you.
But water.
It was a little freaky to me.
I am glad I don't have to commute it often. Or ever.

On the way home we saw the finger of God from the bridge.

Isn't that a weird shot?
The setting sun peeked out for a couple of minutes.
Anyway, back to Anne!
We were very lucky that she was home that day.

Never mind my cheesy smile.
I just love Anne.
I have always loved Anne.
We are kindred spirits.
And it was pretty surreal to actually be at Green Gables.
It was not the Green Gables shown in the movies, but the actual Green Gables that Lucy Maud Montgomery based the description on in her Green Gables novels.

We got to go inside.
They had some of the props that were used in the movie.
One of Anne's "puffed sleeved" dresses:

The slate that Anne broke over Gilbert Blythe's head:

"Lover's Lane" (with two middle-aged lovers.)

And the "Haunted Woods."

It was all very green and pretty.
They say that although L.M. Montgomery eventually moved away from Prince Edward Island--her heart never left that beautiful place.

I can see why.

The next place we went was called "The Bay of Fundy."
It was a natural park, where the tide rolls in and out so quickly that you can actually walk on the bottom of the ocean floor.
The tide rolls out, and leaves this sticky mud, and some hermit crabs.
Then you have to get your butt out of there, cause it rises up almost 70 feet.

They are not kidding.
Look how cool, though:

The rock formations were awesome.

The mud? Not so much.
It was like glue.

Meet Dumb and Dumber:

Exploring in the quick-sand like mud.
Slippery mud that would suck your feet in, and not let go.
"Stay on the rocks!" we said.

That night we learned how to use a looney coin-operated washer and dryer at the hotel.

Other highlights of the trip, in a quick summary:
Peggy's Cove, with a very cool lighthouse.
On the way out there, I thought it was interesting to see these random boulders on the hillsides.
They were deposited when the melting glaciers were moving through when the island was formed.

The lighthouse:

I am not sure why we don't have any lighthouses in Utah.
We need to get us some.
I guess we do have that tin shack at the top of Timpanogos.
The kids liked hiking around on the rocks at Peggy's Cove.

We had life-changing donuts from this joint:

I know that the 40 count container is supposed to be a "family pack."
But I ate it all myself.
Don't judge me.
They were donut HOLES for pete's sake.
Those don't even count.

We had a ghetto picnic at one point.

Here is a funny story.
We hit the grocery store to get bread and peanut butter and jam, right?
Cause it is cheap and filling.
And kind of a tradition.
So we had my mother in law, Bonnie go find the jam.
Look what she bought!

What the heck?
As she clearly forgot, that raisins are the fruit of the devil, I marched her right back to the jam shelf to help her select some good old-fashioned grape maybe?

Oh, guess what?
The joke was on me.
Turn that RAISIN jam jar around, and what have you?

Uh, I guess raisins are considered grapes.
In some form.
A thousand pardons, Bonnie.

I was determined to see a real live Canadian Moose.
And this was all I got.
From the moving van none the less.

If you squint, it looks kind of real.

We also took the kids to a free ocean life museum.
It was very hands-on and ended up being a highlight for the kids.
Free is great too.
We were spending a lot of money on Canadian candy bars.

Something had to give.

The lobster in this next picture we were told, weighed around 25 pounds. He was so old, that he had stopped shedding his shell, and actually had barnacles and moss and crap growing on his claws.
He was big. Trust me.

There was also this bright royal blue guy.

That is the color "albino" lobsters are.
Something about missing pigment.

Then we took a drive to see the temple in Halifax.

Nice to have a familiar site, even when you are in another country.

And that was about it.
I will wrap this thing up with some of my favorite scenic photos.
And I am headed to bed.
Dreaming of Timbits.