No one in this house does anything without being asked.
Several, several times.
I am curious. Can it be that I am the only one who sees the constant mess? Or smells the dirty laundry? Am I the only one trained in toilet flushing? Am I the only one certified in empty milk jug disposal?
This is not the life I had envisioned for myself. Being a butler, maid, floor scrubber, stuffed animal seamstress, coupon clipper, events coordinator, stain fighter, short order cook, chauffeur, lost treasure finder, referee, hair-dresser, minor ailment diagnostic technician, gift purchasing agent, and general doormat leaves me rather tired.
All the time.
I have long given up on the parasitic vermin that Sam calls "our children".
I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself, cause I am married, and I am supposed to have a 50/50 partner in this whole parenting thing, and man, *someone* is coming up pretty dad-gum short lately. I am pretty safe venting here, since reading this blog would actually require him to care enough about what I was thinking and how I felt to actually google my name.
You want some examples? Oh, okay....let me think for about one nano-second, and give you five off the top of my head:
1) The school the kids go to have a special "Dad's and Doughnuts Day" where the Dads come to school, hang out in the lunchroom reading books with the kids for about 30 minutes. Then they all get a doughnut, and the Dad's are heroes, and the kids talk about that magical afternoon for months afterwards. They *used* to have a "Mom's and Munchies Day" where the Mom's got to come, and work on MATH PROBLEMS (<----yeah, I am shouting here) but due to budgetary issues, we don't even get to do that. Off subject here....
So, needless to day, this week was one of the Dad's and doughnuts days. I posted the flyer on the fridge...and the day of, that particular child mentioned how great it was going to be to have Dad come to school. Guess who gets yelled at?
Me.
"It sure would have been nice to have been told that this was coming up..."
Well.....
It sure would be nice for you to: help with homework, go pick up puke boy from the office, make an appearance at the awards assembly, pull a visual aid book report out of your butt the night before it was due, drag five kids to the store to pick Valentines, put together four gift baskets for teacher appreciation day, oh, and take care of the monthly bulletin board in the foyer of the school. Then, maybe, just maybe you would KNOW when your one measly day was for you to inconvenience yourself and go pig out on a doughnut.
2) Being ornery at the grocery store doesn't make us spend less or need less food. It just makes me mad. At you. I hate it there too. In fact, I hate it worse, cause everything that goes in that cart represents more work for me. Laundry items. Food. Cleaning supplies. More food. I would rather not go to the store at all, but last time I sent you there alone, you came home with Twinkies and a Four-Wheeler magazine. Not a lot there to raise healthy kids on.
3) When I call you at work to tell you the kids are sucking the life out of me, because once again they have used all the blankets and chairs in the house to make a field of M*A*S*H units, do not tell me that I need to spend more time with them, and enjoy their creativity. This being said, while you are AWAY with other ADULTS feasting upon conversation that doesn't include Pokemon.
4) It's a hamper. Use it.
5) And that annoying buzzing sound? It's the dryer. It's where *magically* clean clothes are dispensed. Clothes that need to be folded, and put away.
By me. And me only.
I fear that with my heart condition and my caffeine levels, if anyone else took care of that job I would plain old kill over from the sheer shock.
Don't even get me started on the whole home remodel honey-do list.
Man, it's a good thing Valentines Day is coming up. A day for me to express my unbridled passion and deep appreciation for the man I fell in love with and married...and want to spend the rest of my life with.
I am thinking of a lot of really great gifts....
10 comments:
Yikes, you poor thing. I'd sit his hiney down and have a serious talk with him and soon. Hope things turn around for you. Big Hugs.
Kip
So sorry to hear all the things you have to deal with... If it's any consolation.. I have to deal with most of them too (minus the kids part) and I'm not even married yet! My pet peeve - I'm expected to churn out well written 3000-word essays the night before they are due..
Hang in there... *hugs*
Oh man...I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time right now! :( Definitely sit him down and tell him you're frustrated. I hope things start looking up soon!
Two words. Calmly Communicate. It usually helps. Good luck. Sorry you are feeling so blue.
Sophia
As someone who's going to spend all day doing laundry because there will be no clean clothes otherwise, I can feel a part of your pain.
Is there a way for you to run away for a few days? Have him get a grasp of what things are really like for you?
oh man i am feeling your pain...and while i can empathize with you, you have a way of putting it all that just made me giggle. i guess if we can't laugh we will go insane. honestly, if it makes you feel any better...down the line, when the kids are much older...it is mom they remember and idolize most. dad becomes a secondary player sometimes.
Oh honey, you just crack me up! You tell it like it is! And while your sentiments may not appear on a greeting card any time soon, they're valid nonetheless. Go big for Valentine's Day. That's all I'm sayin'! ;)
AMEN, SISTER.
Oh poor you! I can totally feel your pain! I went through that with dh after we had our first baby and he would come home from work 2 hours before me and be sitting on his butt watching TV or playing video games. Wait - I worked a longer day than you, drove 1/2 hour home with a crying baby and you ask me what is for dinner when I walk in the door - grrrr. It still gets me riled up years later.
I did sit him down. I talked to him and threatened to leave him - he knew I was serious. Why did I want one more child to nag and pick up after - sheesh. He was making more work for me and creating more stress and it just wasn't worth it.
That was eight years ago - and today things are much better around my house. A total transformation. He cooks, cleans (half a$$ed but at least it is something)and does laundry. I prepare a montly menu and do the shopping and then I put a recipe out for him to cook when he comes home from work. I "do" have to ask him to clean and he still leaves his socks and dirty clothes laying around but I can deal with that.
My advise is to pick your battles. Sit him down and tell him the things that you WILL NOT DO anymore. I get that you are a SAHM but that does not mean that you are a dumping ground either. With that many little ones you must be frazzled. You need your "me time" and your space. I would also recommend carving out some regularly scheduled time for yourself - out of the house. Maybe a dance class (belly dancing is great!) or a regular thing like a book club or something. Sometimes knowing that it is your night to escape makes the day easier :)
Most of all you need to be appreciated. All of the daily crap seems so much more tolerble when you are feeling appreciated by your partner.
At least you have a great sense of humour!! I am sure it is keeping you sane some days :)
Good luck!! Sorry for the novel!
Shaunte- How's about getting your DH a Hamper with a Basketball Net attached to make it more FUN?
I had to 'share my feelings' with my husband... once he figured out that the insane woman running around the house crying was largely due to his lack of not having a uterus...he caught on. (snort).
He's a good man and tries real hard to please me, so I'll keep him.
Hope Valentine's Day is a 'meeting of the minds' day for ya!
hang in there and 'receive the bacon'-
hugs...Peg
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