No one in this house does anything without being asked.
Several, several times.
I am curious. Can it be that I am the only one who sees the constant mess? Or smells the dirty laundry? Am I the only one trained in toilet flushing? Am I the only one certified in empty milk jug disposal?
This is not the life I had envisioned for myself. Being a butler, maid, floor scrubber, stuffed animal seamstress, coupon clipper, events coordinator, stain fighter, short order cook, chauffeur, lost treasure finder, referee, hair-dresser, minor ailment diagnostic technician, gift purchasing agent, and general doormat leaves me rather tired.
All the time.
I have long given up on the parasitic vermin that Sam calls "our children".
I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself, cause I am married, and I am supposed to have a 50/50 partner in this whole parenting thing, and man, *someone* is coming up pretty dad-gum short lately. I am pretty safe venting here, since reading this blog would actually require him to care enough about what I was thinking and how I felt to actually google my name.
You want some examples? Oh, okay....let me think for about one nano-second, and give you five off the top of my head:
1) The school the kids go to have a special "Dad's and Doughnuts Day" where the Dads come to school, hang out in the lunchroom reading books with the kids for about 30 minutes. Then they all get a doughnut, and the Dad's are heroes, and the kids talk about that magical afternoon for months afterwards. They *used* to have a "Mom's and Munchies Day" where the Mom's got to come, and work on MATH PROBLEMS (<----yeah, I am shouting here) but due to budgetary issues, we don't even get to do that. Off subject here....
So, needless to day, this week was one of the Dad's and doughnuts days. I posted the flyer on the fridge...and the day of, that particular child mentioned how great it was going to be to have Dad come to school. Guess who gets yelled at?
"It sure would have been nice to have been told that this was coming up..."
It sure would be nice for you to: help with homework, go pick up puke boy from the office, make an appearance at the awards assembly, pull a visual aid book report out of your butt the night before it was due, drag five kids to the store to pick Valentines, put together four gift baskets for teacher appreciation day, oh, and take care of the monthly bulletin board in the foyer of the school. Then, maybe, just maybe you would KNOW when your one measly day was for you to inconvenience yourself and go pig out on a doughnut.
2) Being ornery at the grocery store doesn't make us spend less or need less food. It just makes me mad. At you. I hate it there too. In fact, I hate it worse, cause everything that goes in that cart represents more work for me. Laundry items. Food. Cleaning supplies. More food. I would rather not go to the store at all, but last time I sent you there alone, you came home with Twinkies and a Four-Wheeler magazine. Not a lot there to raise healthy kids on.
3) When I call you at work to tell you the kids are sucking the life out of me, because once again they have used all the blankets and chairs in the house to make a field of M*A*S*H units, do not tell me that I need to spend more time with them, and enjoy their creativity. This being said, while you are AWAY with other ADULTS feasting upon conversation that doesn't include Pokemon.
4) It's a hamper. Use it.
5) And that annoying buzzing sound? It's the dryer. It's where *magically* clean clothes are dispensed. Clothes that need to be folded, and put away.
By me. And me only.
I fear that with my heart condition and my caffeine levels, if anyone else took care of that job I would plain old kill over from the sheer shock.
Don't even get me started on the whole home remodel honey-do list.
Man, it's a good thing Valentines Day is coming up. A day for me to express my unbridled passion and deep appreciation for the man I fell in love with and married...and want to spend the rest of my life with.
I am thinking of a lot of really great gifts....