Friday, October 09, 2009

Silence.

For the past couple of days I have had no voice.
I am not sick. (Unless someone wants to bring me sympathy dinner. Or cookies.)
I have no other symptoms of being sick.
Just no voice.

I honestly think that this is something my children have been praying for, and clear evidence that they have more clout than I with The Big Guy upstairs.

You see...I can't holler at them for anything.
I have to try to get their attention by snapping my fingers.
I am not a good snapper.
I have never been able to whistle either.
I have resorted to flapping my arms in front of them as they watch TV.
Sadly, I barely register a response.
They are used to the crazy, and think that the flapping is a new stage in that rodeo.

I could call them, I suppose, using my cell phone to call the home phone, but
A- they would never answer it, and
B- if they did answer (by some small miracle), they would be met with silence on the other end of the line--from their mute mother.

They seem to find the dinner table okay when the food is ready, without me calling for them.

I am worried that I won't get my voice back.
Sam said it is that time of year...
The time of year when he has maybe or maybe not seen mice in the general vicinity.
He has to tread very carefully around this subject, since I am not hormonally stable enough to survive a possible rodent sighting.
And imagine!
Imagine if I saw one...
and I
Couldn't.
Even.
SCREAM??

8 comments:

ana roat said...

OMG, my life unfolding right before my eyes. Peri menoposal you say? I say we kick Peri's butt!!!
ha,ha,ha...hang in there kiddo and thanks for the laugh.
The end.
ana

Anonymous said...

Your post ALWAYS make me laugh!!! The no voice thing could be allergies/sinuses. It happened to me once. No voice, nothing. For almost 2 weeks. turned out to be allergies. Never happened again...

Wendy Lojik said...

And this is why you don't answer your phone when silly friends call and leave you messages...How about a texting relationship?

Anonymous said...

LOL. Your blog is one of my very favorites because I am guaranteed to laugh when I read it. Just carry a bell around with you. If you use it enough, your kids will begin to respond like Pavlov's dogs when you ring it. It'll work for years to come! And, as for the mice situation, I am totally with you on that. We had one last winter and I hysterically called my husband at work - 45 minutes away - to demand that he come home to rid the house of it. He and his co-workers thought that was quite humorous. I. did. not. Good luck and take care!

laura vegas said...

omg ... that was hilarious! you are such a riot shaunte! hope you find your voice soon ... then you'll have all sorts of catching up yelling to do at the kids. lol!

Melanie said...

My husband would probably LOVE for me to loose my voice:) Especially during a football game! If I was close to you, I would bake you some chocolate chip cookies and bring right over. Hope you get your voice back soon.

Tracey @ BellaSky said...

I dont know how but I stumbled on your blog yesterday & I havent laughed this hard at my computer in a really long time. Thanks for being so real & so funny!

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