Need new bed.

Twelve years we have had this bed. Bought it new, when we were engaged. I still remember feeling silly in Granite furniture trying out beds before we were married. We both wanted a firm mattress. We were both skinny then.

I remember how expensive I thought our bed was.

I remember taking such good care of it...
Me: "Do you have anything going on Saturday morning?"
He: "Nah, why?"
Me: "Cause it's time to flip the mattress again, can you believe that?"
He: "Wow, that six weeks went quick..."

Twelve years. Around year five, the bed started to feel a bit too firm. So we invested in one of those egg carton looking foam mattress cover things. It looked stupid, but made it softer. After a baby or two peed on it, we replaced it with another egg carton thingie. I had to bunch a million pillows around me when I was pregnant, or else my whole side would go numb.

We soon invested in a thick mattress cover. It did the trick for a while. But now, my whole side goes to sleep again, and I am not remotely close to being pregnant.

Look at it!!! Can you see how it sags?! Can you see our body divets. Aaargh. This bed has made me a morning person. Not cause I want to be, but because I hurt so bad from sleeping on it, that I am glad when I can get up. Firm my a$$...

We went to a furniture store, you know, to "price" mattresses. Slick Salesman could see us coming a mile away, what with our Igor-like gait. He takes us right over to the "Rolls Royce" of mattresses. Oh mama... We didn't really hear what he said, cause I think Sam and I went into smallish sleep-deprived comas. It was made of some sort of miracle body-molding gel that they use in the space shuttle or something... all I know is Sam had his cell-phone in his back pocket, and didn't even know he was laying on it. I wondered, what if the kids were encouraged to jump on it--might we never see them again??

Then nervously he shuffled his feet, and revealed the price. It was just shy of $6000.00. "What is a lifetime of great sleep worth to you?" Um, yeah. Moving on....

We safely made our way back to the over-priced for our meager budget Serta's and Spring-Airs. "Maybe we can just add another egg carton thingie?" Depressed, we left to "sleep on it."

Honestly, I just don't want to pay the money. Sam does. He thinks it is time. So we argue, and finally I snatch up my pillow and a throw blanket and start to leave.

He: "Where do you think you are going?!"
Me: "To sleep on the couch!"
He: "What makes you think you are so priviledged??!"