On coming home (finally)

Once again avoiding deadline work and laundry.

I guess I will give you the final installment of the Ecuador trip. The tail end. The stuck-forever-in-a-couple-airports-cause-we-fly-standby part.

And let's be honest.

That is why you sick, sick people come here, isn't it? To laugh at my mishaps? Am I right? No one likes to read about cake recipes that TURN OUT.

Let us laugh at your follies! BRING on the awkward adventures!
And bring it I shall...

If you have a passport, you might want to go find it. Sit it next to you where you can see it. Fondle it. Revel in it's very existence. And nearness.

We get to the airport in Ecuador.
It is a bustling place.

That morning I had packed my carry-on bag with the basics. I learned this lesson when we got stranded once overnight in Texas.

Packed each of us some clean undies, and clean tee-shirts. Packed toothbrushes, and deodorant, make-up, and a foil sample of shampoo/conditioner that I got in the mail at some point. <---this I pack so it will go through security. Comes in handy when you stay in a Motel 6, that doesn't even offer those plastic bottles of shampoo. Anyway....moving on with the saga.

Airport. Ecuador. The flight went all night.

We check all the bags to out final destination, which incidentally, isn't that the name of a horror movie? Final destination? (shrugs shoulders) Bags going to Salt Lake City.

We make the flight to Atlanta. It was pretty uneventful at this point.
We get to Atlanta, at 6 a.m. and at once notice the chaos.
We are on stand-by for a flight, find the gate, have a seat and assess the situation.
I guess things are all sorts of crazy.

The airline purposely overbooks every flight by 10%. Did you know this? This is why your tickets will say "this does not guarantee you a seat on this flight" or however it is worded. This is why you get a "seat request" instead of a boarding pass. They overbook because typically, at least 10% will not show up. They will be late, or change their mind, or miss a connection.

Therefore, if the airline has overbooked, those seats that might have been empty get filled, and the airline does not miss revenue.
Not a bad plan, in theory.

But let's supposed that a flight is cancelled.

Let's suppose then, that those people need to be re-booked.

And let's suppose again, that all those folks spill over to the subsequent flights THAT ARE ALREADY OVERBOOKED, and let's suppose that the excess 10% actually show up on this day.

Well, this was what we encountered on this fateful day.
Not to mention that it was Spring Break.
Which is weird, cause I always think of April for that.
Anyway...

We, flying standby, are lower on the totem pole than every one of the people trying to get on a flight out of Atlanta.

So we went, anxiously, gate to gate, flight to flight, waiting...waiting...
Finally, by some miracle, Sam comes rushing over and said they had a few seats on this flight to Salt Lake. We would have to split up, which is fine.

They had four seats.

Sam was especially anxious, because he had to work in the Salt Lake airport that next morning and needed to get home for that.

So we leave Brendan, Shayne and Jayden with my parents; and me, Shianne, Mikayla and Sam go running down the little hallway thingie that leads to the plane. Not sure what it is called? Anyway, we are literally at the door of the plane, the door to the end of the hallway is shut...and two people show up, running down the hallway thing.

The airline girl is livid.

I guess it is a big no-no to open that door once it is shut.
But these folks did.
And there they were with their tickets.
So sadly, there were only two available seats.
Sam took Shianne, and got on the plane.
I walked back up the hallway thingie, with Mikayla.

We look for the location of the next gate, and hope we will have luck. At least we are down two people.

It is right about then, that I realize Sam has all of our passports in his laptop bag as well as all the credit cards and money.

The plane was pulling away from the gate.

I was totally screwed.

I had no ID for me, or any of the kids.
No money.
Nothing.

Don't panic!
We just need to get on another flight, right?

Gate to gate, again.
Nothing.
Paid customers are on stand-by.
They are asking for people to give up their seats for free flight vouchers.
Not good news when you are flying non-rev.

Several hours later, Sam calls.
He too, realized what he had done. Everything was so rushed...it wasn't his fault.
He is desperately looking for alternate routes for us.
We would not be getting to Salt Lake today, or the next day. Not from Atlanta.
It was all extremely overbooked.

Sam went into work. When he got there, all his work buddies were looking for alternate routes for us too.

Everything was tight. I think because of Spring Break, and also, because everyone else was trying to get out of Atlanta.

Finally, they found for us a plane to Portland. Then, the next morning the flight from Portland to Salt Lake looked hopeful.

So we went to that gate, and waited.
And made it!

That flight arrived in Portland at 3:00 in the morning, and then the flight to Salt Lake was at 6:00. YAY!

However, there were a couple time changes, making our arrival in Portland 10:00 p.m. making it a whole freaking night in the airport until the 6 a.m. flight. And, keep in mind, that since I have no ID whatsoever, we can't leave the airport, because I can't go back through security. So this stupid fifty pound overnight bag that I packed and now have to carry around is completely obsolete.

By this point, we had been on flights/in the airport for a night, a whole day, and this will be our second night.

The Portland airport was pretty nice to be stranded in. Much better than JFK. There were at least some soft benches. But it got really cold. They had a children's play place, with Cartoon Network. That wasted a good three hours, having the kids glued to that TV.

Before I went to bed, I checked the boards with the flights for the next day.
Both flights to Salt Lake City had "pending" next to them. Not to worry, I am sure they just hadn't been assigned to a gate yet.

Night passed. Slowly.

The next morning, I went into the bathroom, and washed up.
I changed undies and tee-shirt, and socks.
I can't believe how much better I felt.
I pulled my hair back into a greasy pony-tail and brushed my teeth.
I got all fired up again, thinking how having SOME FREAKING ID, would have allowed me a hot shower. In a motel. Argh.

I was so grateful my parents were there. For the help with the kids. For buying us food, and for keeping me sane.

I checked the boards:
Las Vegas On Time Gate B52
Los Angeles On Time Gate B45
San Diego On Time Gate B33
Salt Lake City Pending

Oh. Please. NO.

I literally wanted to cry. I wasn't sure what "pending" meant? Was it the precursory to "cancelled?"

I shuffled over to our temporary house. And amid my sleeping kids, I prayed.

"Please, let us get out of here, and get us home."
My mom woke up a few minutes later.
I told her about the "pending."
We both went over to look.
And in that few minutes, it had changed from pending to "on time" and had a gate assigned!
Sigh.

We woke the kids, and we all moved over to the gate the flight was assigned to.
We checked in, to let the gate agents know that we were there, and waiting on stand-by.
A few minutes later they called me up to the desk.
They were giving us seat requests.
She verified the names of all my kids, and then said "Okay, all set--I just need to see your ID."
All hope left me.
I could feel it seep out of my weary soul like a slowly leaking balloon.
"I don't have any." I said.
She kept staring.
I recounted for her my past 48 hours.
I told her to look, to see that my husband made the flight, and took with him everything.
She said she that she was sorry, but for security reasons she could not allow me on the plane without identification.

I lost it.
I lost it good.
It was an ugly cry.
With sucking air, and hiccuping and everything.
I was overly tired.
I was greasy.
I had four kids watching the whole demonstration in thinly veiled horror.

The lady called her lead over.

He took one look at me and started clacking on the computer.
He verified that I had not left security since I was cleared through in Ecuador.
He said that would be good enough for him.

I am still crying.
My mom found me a napkin.

I sit down, and a couple minutes later, that guy brings me not a seat request but an honest to goodness seat ASSIGNMENT. Me and all the kids, all in a row, together.
Going home.
And then he gets on the loud speaker, and starts boarding the plane.
And says "you will NOT need ID to board this flight."
And I start bawling again. Cause I know that was just for me.

So we get on the plane, and it takes off.
I unclenched.
And slept the whole flight.

When we touched down in Salt Lake I vowed I never want to leave and go anywhere again.

Out the window I see a man walking across the tarmac. It was Sam in his airline uniform, coming over to meet the plane and I swear to you, I have never see a prettier sight.