When I was a kid, my mom packed all our lunches.
Everyday.
I remember I hated when we had meatloaf for dinner, cause she would make us leftover meatloaf sandwiches. Bread, a slab of meatloaf, some mayo, and more bread. Sometimes ketchup--and it made the bread soggy. Then all day long, I would burp meatloaf burps. My word. I hated meatloaf lunches.
But the worst, the all-time worst was when April Fools Day landed on a school day. My mom would pack our lunches full of weird crap. She thought it was funny, and thought that we would think it was cool. All my sisters can feel RIGHT NOW that itchy embarrassment of the April Fools Day lunch. We are all in our 30's, and I know they can still feel it.
We got it down to a science. Either you "weren't hungry" that day, and brought it all home, or you chose to sit somewhere far, far away from your friends.
Like a leper. Alone with your lunchbox and it's contents.
Sometimes our thermos always full of (warmish) milk would be dyed blue, or green with food coloring. I don't care what you say, blue milk tastes different. It tastes gross.
The we would get a random pile of things from the junk drawer. An odd pink spongy curler, or a plastic spider ring leftover from Halloween.
And one year, she made these chocolate covered marshmallows, except some of the marshmallows were actually cotton balls.
Chocolate.
Dipped.
Cotton balls.
Bite into that. Mmmmmmmm.
So I guess the only therapy for that is to pass on the tradition. Here is what my kids are getting tomorrow:
The wormy apple.
The Cheetos gross chip things that really look like cat chow.
And I emptied out the Vegetable Beef Baby Food, and replaced it with Butterscotch pudding.
I stuck a plastic wrapped "Happy April Fools Day" note in the middle of their sandwiches, so when they bite into it, it should pull out and flap down on their chin in a peanut buttery honey glob.
We can't forget the wrapped in toilet paper dessert candy bar "turd." (sorry for the crappy picture, no pun intended.)
Bwahahahhahaha!
I learned from the best.
Thanks Mom!
11 comments:
this is just way too funny shaunte! and i know you have a different outlook since it happened to you ... but your mom sounds hecka cool!!! i would never think of something like that!
hope your kids enjoy their lunches tomorrow! especially the desert ... that's just wierd!
Ha ha ha ha!
I read this 5 minutes before making Calvin's lunch. I was in a mood, so on the fly I made him an inside out sandwich, an apple with grapes stuck in it, and pulverized crackers. I put in a note too. Thanks for the inspiration.
Alana M
Wish I had seen this last night!! I would so love to torture my daughter like this---I mean start a new tradition!! LOL!! GREAT ideas!! You are a totally cool mom (and so is yours)!
Oh thats mean...so mean!!
Cool ideas all around that I will have to try next year.
A magic neighbor.
I think that is awesome. It gives me ideas for next year. I want to know if they ate it.
I liked the meatloaf sandwich.
However I can almost sweat remembering April Fools. One year I got lucky and was able to trade lunches with a kid who only had a bagel, apple, and a fruit roll-up. Way worth the trade. Did you ever get the ham & cheese sandwich with a perfectly hidden piece of plastic wrap in it? Also the carrot sticks that were all carrot tops? Mom must've planned all year for this! I think Shay got a tampon one time in hers- she probably didn't even know what it was.
i'm so loving this idea. {and we love meatloaf sandwiches, especially with ranch instead of mayo.}
by the way I am NOT in my 30's yet...I cannot even imagine being THAT old!!! Is it very bad? hahaha
I found another great Idea you can do for next year. A friend made "cupcakes", but it was really meatloaf, with dyed green mashed potato frosting, she told the kids that they got cupcakes for dinner, and her kids were so happy and dove right in and FREAKED out! I thought that you would love that.
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