Two days, 20 hours and 25 minutes.....
I think a lesser mom would feel sad about four of her five darlings leaving the home each day.
But, I, RMOTY (reigning mother of the year) know that one should be excited. Not because I will soon have six hours a day to myself, oh no, but because of the wonderful educational and social opportunity public school provides for my offspring. Heh, heh...
Top Ten Reasons School is Great:
10) The dance festival. Anytime I can subject my boys to slicking their hair back, putting on a button up shirt, and holding hands with a cootie-infested GIRL, all the while shuffling along supposedly following dance steps to "Achy Breaky Heart" that there is good stuff.
9) The Art work. Portraits of me drawn by my children have evolved from a perky stick person, to a more realistic blimp-like and slightly overweight housewife.
8) The essays. "What I Did this Summer" And didn't they do a horror movie based on this? I love reading about what they think were the highlights...."and then Mom screemd hur hed off when she see ar nu pet snak in the tub."
7) The silence. Oh the blessed, blessed silence. The first week my ears bleed in adjustment.
6) Lunch dates with friends, that do not include dragging the riff-raff, and paying for food that will get boxed up in styrofoam containers and eventually left stashed under the seat in the Suburban.
5) School Pictures. I love the traditional "say cheese" portrait, with the occasional cheeto-orange mouth because pictures were after lunch.
4) New stuff. Clothes, back-packs, friends.
3) That my kids start using toothpaste and soap again, cause their teacher told the whole class about a cool thing called "high-jean."
2) The phone calls from potential (girl)friends. "Hi, is Jayden there...(giggle, giggle) "Yeah, hold on...."(ohmygoshSHEISGETTINGHIM!!!) *Click*
1) Yes. The SIX GLORIOUS HOURS of mommy time. Sometimes it even includes a nap.
Top Ten Reasons School is Crap:
10) Homework. I graduated, and here I am, getting my GED again.
9) Making school lunches. Every night.
8) Waking up early. From a nocturnal family, this is such a huge and painful adjustment.
7) Reports and posters that are usually due the next day.
6) Parent/Teacher conferences. Do you think they purposefully sit you in the tiny chairs for intimidation purposes?
5) Finding shoes and clean socks. Just the thought has my blood pressure rising already.
4) Catching every cold/obnoxious phrase (I know you are, but what am I)/infection that comes down the pike.
3) The Maturation Program. I have a fifth-grader this year, and I am already dreading the "Talk."
2) The dramatics of the girl. The on and off again friendships. The eye-ball rolls. The "you just don't understand!!!" The bawling.
1) Cause I actually do miss them.
5 comments:
I officially love your lists. They are both spot on. These should be made into a poster and hung on the wall for every mother the world over to see. I've always felt that a celebration of sorts has been earned each fall when it is back to school week. Does that make me a bad mom? I think not!
Love it, love all of it, particularly.
"The silence. Oh the blessed, blessed silence. The first week my ears bleed in adjustment"
And the getting up early, ick!
LOL. I SO went through all of this last week. I completely understand.
LOL! You crack me up, sister! I think you can safely remove the "Mother-of-the-year acceptance speech" off your to-do list. Seriously, you just tell it like it is. I love that! I go back to school tomorrow, so if you could just observe a moment of silence for me, I'd be eternally grateful!
You've got me giggling over here, Shaunte!
Mine are all still pretty little (7, 5, 3), so that second list is a little sparser at my house. I get up early anyway (I know, the horror!), and the homework's pretty minor so far. Good to know what I have to look forward to, though.
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