i use sarcasm. a lot.

I was not able to share my altered projects just yet, so I dug up an oldie for you. This was created for a magazine call for Paper Crafted Mother's Day presents. And since it is nearing upon Mother's Day, I thought maybe a few of you would like some inspiration.

Sadly, the magazine didn't publish it??!

And to clarify, some of you have e-mailed and expressed concern over my hinting at scrapping in the nude. Concern about stray brads, or embossing gun burns. Please, people.
I barely shower in the nude, and I always, always, take my contacts OUT if I am going to be passing a mirror on the way to the shower.

Scrapping in the nude....well, that's just crazy talk.

I would at least wear a paper-crafted-acid-free-altered something.

more? yes?

I have been up to my eyeballs in projects.

I just finished up ten layouts, with supply lists and instructions for one of my manufacturers. They will be on the Hobby Lobby website. (Don't walk.....RUN!!! heh, heh)

I am now working on six...yes, six ALTERED PROJECTS for another manufacturer. I hate altering things! There. I said it. I don't mind working on them, I just don't know what to do with them when I get them back. They just seem like such a waste to me...I don't care for cutesy, hand-crafted home decor. I did the whole tole painting thing in the early 90's. I guess they make good grandma gifts, eh?

So I am working with some mock-ups. Mock-ups are when the manufacturer does not have the actual material yet, because it is still being manufactured, but they still need display items made using the materials, so the designer gets computer printouts, and has to hand-cut the stickers or in this case, chipboard. It is a pain, but part of the job. I never thought I would appreciate stickers, though, and working with mock-ups makes you do just that.

I am exacto-ing some chipboard, and waiting for mod-podge to dry on another project. I have been hunched over my cutting mat for a while, and I sit up to stretch my back, and hear this faint ripping sound....

It looks like I mod-podged my boob to the counter.

I need to clarify, I was wearing a shirt...I don't often scrap in the nude.

Needless to say, my studio is a pit, there is mod-podge everywhere, and scraps, and empty water bottles, where Mountain Dew cans used to reside. As soon as I find out *if* I can share these projects, I will post them. Until then, I am leaving you with more Reagan and Reese. And maybe I can think of something witty to blog about tomorrow.

meet reagan and reese.

I got to shoot my friend Kathy's newborn twins today. Aren't they cute little turkeys? These were a few of my favorite shots. Off to get some housework done. It stinks in the kitchen. Happy Saturday!

In shape.

Remember when I decided to get back on the whole weight loss campaign....and with the nice weather and all, I took all the kids down to the local high school outdoor track...they played, while I ran.

I was doing pretty good, I mean, I tasted blood, but my lungs weren't on fire, you know. Then my seven year old matched pace with me, and told me he wanted to run with me.

Remember how he lapped me?

Wearing his flip-flops.

Two posts in one day--a record for me.

Drum roll please......

Here is my scraproom!

You can see that it is completely without any wall decoration or theme, but it happens to be clean right now, so I thought I had better snap some photos, and honestly, if I got around to hanging wall knick-knacks and crap, I think it would look gobby and overwhelming.

My favorite parts are the flooring, the slatwall, the antique doorknob I use to hang my Karen Foster apron (which was the inspiration for the wall color) and the Expedit shelves. There is an actual, designated place for all my crap, I love that. That I can clean up in a hurry. Or not clean up at all....cause it does have a door.

So Cute.

I know I have mentioned before just how lucky I am to work with such good people in the scrapbooking industry.

I went to a crop this last Saturday at the Bo Bunny offices. Those girls put in so much effort for the crop, every detail was just perfect. It was a combined meeting/crop, and we were able to give input on the new product that will be coming out. I am especially excited for a particular tool...

They brought in Cafe Rio for dinner (my favorite) and provided snacks and drinks, as well as kits to scrap with. I finished TWO (2!!) 6x6 mini-albums that I am going to be giving for gifts, can't say too much because the recipients of said albums occasionally read the blog. Did I mention Lori, from Bo Bunny even made a fancy-schmancy cupcake tower ala Martha Stewart?! I was impressed!

Everyone who attended the crop was given one of the pictured Egg Jars. I can't even tell you how happy this jar makes me. It is big. Like milk-jug big, and the eggs *were* full of candy, until my field-rat children sniffed out the sugar and emptied them all.

I have the jar sitting in my living room, in my entry way, and sometimes during the day I go in there just to look at it. I think it makes me happy because I never keep frivolous, pretty things for myself. I usually make this stuff, and give it away.

I think of the thoughtfulness of those Bo Bunny girls, about the attention to detail, and going the extra mile...how important it made me feel. And I was thinking about all the opportunities I have in my life to make that kind of impression. About the birthday gifts that I quickly shove in a bag, no tissue, no card. About the school lunches I pack everyday for the kids, how hard would it be to make and tuck in a little note from the ROOM FULL of scraps that I own? The cookies I bake, I could always spare a plateful for a neighbor.

That is my goal for the year. To look for ways to make someone happy. Anyone else want to play?

spoiled.

I would like to know, at what point did kids get so lazy, that they didn't even want to bother with sitting down on the sidewalk to play with sidewalk chalk.

Did you know they have Sidewalk PAINT SPRAYERS now? For that budding graffiti artist. And that rake claw thing? What is that?

When I was growing up, they didn't have sidewalk chalk. We sometimes used regular chalkboard chalk. And then my mom got mad at us and told us it was wasteful, and that she would never buy us chalk for our chalkboard again if we wasted it outside. I think a box of chalk set us back about 25 cents back then.

So I think we used rocks or our own blood.

growing up

Mikayla and I spend a lot of time together. The kids are in school all day, and Sam is gone to work, (or to golf) and it leaves us two. We have some silly rituals we have adopted over the past three years we have been SAHM/SAHT together. We are much like two spinsters living in the same house, each adjusting her own agenda to the other.

One of my favorite rituals is our "Restings."

In the early days, verbally pleading "let's go take a nap" was offensive to a toddler. She didn't neeeeeed a nap. She wasn't tiiiired. But, when I merely suggested, " Hey, let's go take a little rest" that was fine. Rest implies no sleeping involved, hence no time wasted that could be used for other things, like taking the Crayolas to the blank canvas of the entertainment center.

Thus, our "Restings" began.

The first time she readily accept the offer, I was giddy. My sleep-deprived eye twitch had evolved into a full-fledged ocular seizure, that even with the distance from the porch to the mailbox, the mailman thought I was flirting, what with my constant winking. I was ready for a rest. A good old-fashioned three hour coma.

So we chose some books to read. Three. Three is always the number we choose. And the shorter the better. She has her favorites, and when I am really tired, I let her read them to me.

Books chosen, we tucked ourselves into a quilt on my bed. I was so crazy happy from the possibility of uninterrupted sleep, I grabbed her head, and touched her forehead to mine, and spontaneously cackled. Like a mental patient. It came out before I could stop it, like a taco belch.

Mikayla was stunned. I think it was a mix of fear, and curiosity. Who is this lady? Is she going to eat my face? Do I share the same genes? I had to turn it into a game... I laughed again, a silly high-pitched giggle. Then she relaxed, and joined me. Then we laughed a few more times, successfully masking a potentially embarrassing future counseling session.

We read, and after the third story, I told her to close her eyes and rest. And it actually worked! We napped for a couple of glorious hours.

The next day, I suggested another "resting" she picked some books, and settled in. She grabbed my cheeks with her pudgy fingers and said, "Mommy, let's do our laughings."

And so it continued.

Some days, I wait until she falls asleep, and then I quietly sneek away and catch up on housework, listening to the silence. I love the time we spend together, sometimes it is the only time I sit still long enough to enjoy her.

Today, I snuggled next to her with the usual books. I started reading the first familiar book.

"Oh, dang it, Mikayla, we forgot to do our laughings" I said, pulling her face in close to mine.

"Mom. I stopped liking that."

And so it ends.

Dear Mountain Dew-

It pains me to write this, but I feel that we have come to a point in our relationship where I must let go and move on.

The times we have shared are some of my fondest memories: the first tall icy glass in the hospital minutes after giving birth, the time when I laughed so hard you came spewing out of my nose, that all too brief summer when 7-11 re-invented you into a Slurpee...

I will always miss you. Nothing will complement my Chinese food more than you. I am not sure how I will survive my SAHM afternoons without your selfless yet vital shot of caffeine. I know that road-trips, crops, and long holiday parties at the in-laws will never be the same.

But alas, our time must come to an end.

Since our relationship went from being casual friends, to passionately committed partners, I have gained weight. You never minded, and that I will always appreciate. But I need to be with someone who will help me be better, and healthier.

It's not you....it's me.

Well, I guess it's a little you. You see, the final straw was your new hobby. I was patient the first time you crystallized and deposited yourself into my kidneys. I forgave you. But this time....

You know how the saying goes...."Once, shame on you, twice shame on me." Well, Dew, I guess I am tired of being shamed. My kidneys can't take being a rock tumbler.

I am sorry, I really, really am. I hope you understand.


Affectionately Yours,
Shaunte

No photo attached.

Have you ever sat down in say.....longer grass, or thick carpet, or even a plush couch....and then you get up, and look at your a$$-print, and think..."Whoa."

And then you fight the urge to go over and "erase" it with your hands, cause you know you are being irrational...but still....

That's motivation to go to the gym, right there.

Two Words.

Kidney Stones.

I had some two years ago. I had forgotten the misery, until it started up again.

Much like when you forget labor pains, and remember it wasn't so bad....until it all comes back to you in full detail when it is happening again.

I am not going to call this batch the generic title of"Stones". I am quite sure they are crystallized Mountain Dew. For two years I have been tanking the caffeine, blissfully unaware of the growing concentrated masses I was creating.

Now angry and barb-like, they float in my bladder and stick in my kidneys.

Time to become BFF with water. And cranberries.

PSA

Just so you know, eating these....even one or two, will make your breath smell like BUTT for at least two days afterwards.

It's all gooooood now.

So the Macrobid (Nitrofurantin) the doctor put me on was a trip.

The first night I was on it, I was lucky enough to be one of the rare folks who have a bad reaction. Was up all night with a high fever, cold sweaty chills, and nausea. That horrid nausea that whenever Sam would roll over in bed, It caused those stabbing pains and would make me almost hurl...from the slightest movement.

The next morning I was just wiped out, and super wenchy from no sleep. (Sorry family)

So the next night, I was sooooo tired, and gave into a drug-induced sleep early, and dreamt all night of make-out sessions with all the hot guys from Mortal Kombat.

Thank you Macrobid.