So today is apparently my 34th birthday. All this past year I have thought I was 32, and would be turning 33, but I guess not. I figured that one out last night when I was making my own birthday cake at quarter to eleven at night. I did the math, well, actually my ten year old did, and he is pretty good at math....

So I guess technically, I lost a whole year today.

Par for the course, cause I think birthdays suck anyway.

On a lighter note, I found out that high-waisted pants are back in. That means my whole stay at home mom wardrobe just got *that* much more valuable.

We love animals.

"Mom, when do you think that Fluffy will pass away?"

Totally cracked me up in that I-can't-laugh-out-loud-cause-he is-serious kind of way...cause what seven year old kid says "pass away"??!

" Well, Shayne, the pet store man told me guinea pigs live about five years, and we have had fluffy for a little over a year, so I guess another four years or so."

I am so not a pet person. My kids begged....I did the research. I did not need an animal with a life expectancy of more than five years. When the novelty wears off, it becomes mom's responsibility. Dogs-no. Cats-no. Hamsters--look too much like the mice that occasionally send me into cold sweats of FEAR. Fish-ideal, but been there, flushed that. Thus, the guinea pig.


"Why, honey?"

Thinking this will sprout into one of those touching, Hallmark moments.

"I was just thinking about other new pets we can have when Fluffy is done."

Cool shirts.

It is a dream come true, for a scrapper, to be on a design team, and have new product, AWESOME product shipped right to your door to scrap with, whenever your little heart desires.

Karen Foster has been so good to me. I love the product, love the people I get to work with. It seems like they are mind-readers sometimes, I think "it would be nice to have a paper line for all my camping pictures" and they come out with it. And the rhinestone brads---we all know how I feel about those. They are coming out with something at Memory Trends that I am dying for....when I can spill it I will, but keep your eyes open...

I am content.
I am happy.
Karen Foster fulfills all my needs(--scrapwise.)

And now, my fine readers--they have branched out into clothing. Shirts I never knew that I always wanted. Cool scrap shirts. Doodly coolness. They are the thick tee-shirts. This baby will stand up to all my post-crop washings! Heh, heh..

You can see them and order them here:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=1&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=554

If they made sweat pants I would think I had died and gone to heaven.

I could get into this...

My new gym routine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

(Thanks Pam!)

Happy Friday everyone!

I am sorry for the frightening photo in the last post. I thought it was funny, but Sam said that is the stuff nightmares are made of.

My thought today is:

Who came up with the sound the dryer makes when a load is done? It has to be the RUDEST sound I have ever heard. And annoying. And truly, it makes me a little mad. I am going about my day, or watching a show, or on the phone--or simply lost in my own thoughts, and.......

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECKKKKKKKK! (cometakecareofmeRIGHTNOW)

Why didn't they put some type of a pretty chime in there? Something nice.

I hate that sound.

smile.

The backpacks are filled, the hair is combed, the breakfast is eaten.....
...and they are OFFFFF!!!

Suddenly, the sun is shining brighter, the birds are singing in the trees....the day is full of limitless possiblilities.

My toddler is still asleep.

I have the whole house to myself!

I am giddy. Six hours. Tra-la-la-la-la...

Happy First Day of School!!

Getting back on the wagon.

Since the whole house remodel, I have fallen off the Gym wagon. I kept going the first part of summer, and had grand intentions of continuing, but finally, my hundred daily excuses won out. I have no willpower... none.

With the heat, and the busy-ness of summer, one would think that my weight would simply maintain itself, until I could get back to humiliating myself once again on a public treadmill.

But, no. I am quite sure I have gained, although, part of the house remodel included me moving the full-length mirror into the garage. And ditching the scale. I will ENJOY the summer this year, by darn!! I will not let my poor self-image hold me back from playing with my kids.


And enjoy it I did. I ate like I just escaped a concentration camp. We sat and watched a lot of great movies. We camped, and played, and splashed in the water. And I personally did a whole lot of nothing.

So, alas, the time has come for me and the gym to get reacquainted. I am not really excited about it. But, I am ready to feel healthier, and more in control, and have some energy that wasn't injected into my veins courtesy of Pepsi-Cola.

Wish me luck, and motivation. I'm going to need it.

School starts in...

Two days, 20 hours and 25 minutes.....

I think a lesser mom would feel sad about four of her five darlings leaving the home each day.

But, I, RMOTY (reigning mother of the year) know that one should be excited. Not because I will soon have six hours a day to myself, oh no, but because of the wonderful educational and social opportunity public school provides for my offspring. Heh, heh...

Top Ten Reasons School is Great:

10) The dance festival. Anytime I can subject my boys to slicking their hair back, putting on a button up shirt, and holding hands with a cootie-infested GIRL, all the while shuffling along supposedly following dance steps to "Achy Breaky Heart" that there is good stuff.

9) The Art work. Portraits of me drawn by my children have evolved from a perky stick person, to a more realistic blimp-like and slightly overweight housewife.

8) The essays. "What I Did this Summer" And didn't they do a horror movie based on this? I love reading about what they think were the highlights...."and then Mom screemd hur hed off when she see ar nu pet snak in the tub."

7) The silence. Oh the blessed, blessed silence. The first week my ears bleed in adjustment.

6) Lunch dates with friends, that do not include dragging the riff-raff, and paying for food that will get boxed up in styrofoam containers and eventually left stashed under the seat in the Suburban.

5) School Pictures. I love the traditional "say cheese" portrait, with the occasional cheeto-orange mouth because pictures were after lunch.

4) New stuff. Clothes, back-packs, friends.

3) That my kids start using toothpaste and soap again, cause their teacher told the whole class about a cool thing called "high-jean."

2) The phone calls from potential (girl)friends. "Hi, is Jayden there...(giggle, giggle) "Yeah, hold on...."(ohmygoshSHEISGETTINGHIM!!!) *Click*

1) Yes. The SIX GLORIOUS HOURS of mommy time. Sometimes it even includes a nap.



Top Ten Reasons School is Crap:

10) Homework. I graduated, and here I am, getting my GED again.

9) Making school lunches. Every night.

8) Waking up early. From a nocturnal family, this is such a huge and painful adjustment.

7) Reports and posters that are usually due the next day.

6) Parent/Teacher conferences. Do you think they purposefully sit you in the tiny chairs for intimidation purposes?

5) Finding shoes and clean socks. Just the thought has my blood pressure rising already.

4) Catching every cold/obnoxious phrase (I know you are, but what am I)/infection that comes down the pike.

3) The Maturation Program. I have a fifth-grader this year, and I am already dreading the "Talk."

2) The dramatics of the girl. The on and off again friendships. The eye-ball rolls. The "you just don't understand!!!" The bawling.

1) Cause I actually do miss them.

Enabler Alert

Karen Foster sent all the designers an e-mail this afternoon letting us in on this clearance deal they are running with this online site. We could share with friends and family....which would be YOU! Awesome deals! Chipboard mini-albums for $1.50......?!! And that is just *one* of the deals.....Stock up, cause when it is gone, it's gone. Here is the link!

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=1&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=525

Enjoy!!

And then there was light.

I have light again in the kitchen! I thought I was going to cry, when the electrician flipped the switch, and 60 watts burst into life.

He must have been able to finally see the half-crazed cave woman from under the glow of the single, miraculous electric bulb. Or maybe it was when all five of the half-naked native children came out of the woodwork to dance and pray thanksgiving.

Eeeeeee! Light!!

Either way he left in a hurry.

Feel Great with Fiber

*This blog entry brought to you courtesy of the back of the box of Kelloggs (insertcopywritethingie) All Bran with Yogurt Bites*

Digestive Health

The time is now to pay attention to your digestive system. Located in the center of our bodies, it affects everything, but you probably dn't acknowledge it unless something goes wrong. If you are feeling bloated, sluggish, rundown, out-of-sorts, or a simple bullet away from escaping your home remodel (okay, I added the last part..) your body and especially your digestive system may be trying to tell you something.

What Upsets the Digestive System?

*Stress- stressful situations (coughcoughhomeremodelcough), and in particular, continued(whenthehelldoesitend) stress may upset your digestive system.

*Maturity- With age, the environment in the colon changes (getsfreakingsquishedfromhavingbabiessitonit), which increases the need for fiber to keep it in balance. And remember to drink plenty of water. Or mountain dew.

*Diet- Certain foods, especially those rich in fat and protein (andchocolateandflavor) can upset your digestive system. Rushing meals and eating on the go can also have an effect. (?!!)


My friend Jenn (Hi, Jenn) turned me on to this cereal, and I am here to tell you that this stuff works. If you need help getting the party started, um, below--then grab a box of this stuff. It tastes okay. I mean, its not Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, but it doesn't taste like the box it comes in either.

Just look at the lady on the box. Arms crossed over bloated and painfully distended abdomen. Gassy? No doubt. Look at the pained expression on her face.... "Hurry and take the mother-freaking photo, I have more gas than the Texaco." Notice her breakfast companion. Casual. Happy. Probably did his "business" twice already, and it isn't even noon.

Fiber--are you getting enough?

The miracle.

One day the crane came back, to put the roof(s) back on the new addition. We had a large gathering, mostly family and my SAHM peeps that thought it would bring some variety to their otherwise ordinary day.

Sam and my Dad are up in the new addition. They are brandishing 2x4's like little kids under a pinata, pushing and turning the roof until it was finally in position.

Then all the spectators hear a pop. It sounded like a nail gun, but it was actually the cable HOLDING THE ROOF.....snapping. "That can't be good," my dad says, not really knowing what the sound was. The crane operator was white as a sheet. There was nothing that could be done, but to finish placing the roof. So they did.

They pulled the cable in. There are 7 strands of cable wrapped into one large twisted mass. Five of the seven strands had snapped. Two strands, about the size of juice box straws, were all that were holding the roof from crashing down on the new addition, my Dad, and my husband.

The cables are tested every year, to 48,000 pounds. They estimate my roof to weigh in at about 5000. It should have never, ever snapped.

Miracle? Yes.

Not only would I be out a husband and a dad, but who would have finished my broken-down house?!

Afterwards, Sam asked me if I was snapping pictures of the whole process, (which is really sort-of offensive, considering my job) and I said of course I was.

Him: "So, would you have kept taking pictures if the roof would have fallen on me"
Me: "Yeah, probably."
Him: "Would you have scrapbooked it?"
Me: "Well....out of respect, I probably would have waited a year, and then I would have done a mini-album."

Priorities, people.

I wish this day would just end already.

Today was a scorcher.

Ordinarily I would be camped out underneath the useless swamp cooler vent, thumbing through a magazine and waiting for the sun to go down so I don't have to chew my air...all the while cursing the fact that we don't have central air like normal folk.

But, with the whole remodel thing, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE LUXURY OF A STUPID SWAMP COOLER. Truly, this day has been a suck-fest.

We have no electricity in the main level. And today, the plumbers came. Suddenly, we had no water. With the timely rain that flooded my entire kitchen, I have the pungent odor of molding towels wafting through the sweltering air. Add that to the infestation of flies, which I am CONVINCED are Satan's minions... seriously, I am sitting on the couch, holding a fly swatter, and a fly actually chose to LAND on my mother-freaking LIP!! My LIP!! WTH? Did it want me to kill it? Cause you can bet your left one that I chased that thing around and sent its butt smashing through its head with the swatter.

The plumbers stuck a ladder up in front of the fridge, blocking off my Mountain Dew supply. I think that was the last straw.

You know, we have had several people, friends and neighbors that have offered us assistance..."If you need anything at all, just holler." I am pretty sure that would not include me and my five kids showing up at the doorstep to relieve our bowels in their toilets. Even if we do bring our own toilet paper. There are some lines that just aren't meant to be crossed in society.

So it's been a crappy day.

No pun intended.

A conversation

Standing in the bathroom, that has no electricity, and is illuminated by the scant natural light that is coming in from the hall...

Jayden (newly 10), just woke up(at 11), practically chipping the porcelain peeing in the toilet.

Me: Nice of you to finally wake up, lazy boy.
Him: Nice bad hair day.
Me: Nice morning breath.
Him: Nice cheek zit.

Pride exits, Mom follows.

Our Contractor

Here is our contractor. I call him Dad.

I didn't realize when I was a little girl what a commodity that was. I just knew each winter we had to haul scraps of leftover lumber from the work truck to our huge pile. And then nightly to haul it from the pile to the back door, for the fireplace in the family room, when all my priviledged friends basked in rooms heated by a furnace.

I knew that my Dad carried a lunch and a giant water thermos to work everyday, long before we were awake, and would return home after dark. Sometimes in snow, so cold--with biting wind that would cut through multiple clothing layers, and other times heat so dry and hot I don't know how he could bear it.

I remember taking drives in the evenings to check on a job site he was worried about. Sometimes he took us kids, and let us "help" him, handing him tools, and generally getting in his way the whole day.

I remember my parents struggling financially at times, but us kids never went without things we needed or wanted. We just knew when money was tight, cause Mom would make meals that used a lot of rice.

My Dad could do anything. Fix anything. I thought that was just what Dad's did.

He taught me to take pride in my work, to appreciate what I have. To dig in and do things right the first time. I didn't appreciate everything he taught me until I realized that not everyone was like that, like him--honest and hard-working.

It makes me smile to see his truck parked in front of my house. To see him, working at my own house. That my kids look forward to hopping on the roof to "help" him now. That my Shayne wants to be "a house builder like Grandpa Randy." Nothing would make me happier.

Thanks Dad. For everything. I will always be in debt to you. Love you--

Making more progress

This was what I found this morning. My babies up the ladder and up on the floor, which was what used to be the roof of our house. Oh mercy, I could barely help them down. And they had climbed the ladder in clogs!

Today the walls go up. Periodically I am paged to ask where I want windows to go, or if I want a closet smaller or bigger. Its getting fun now...and more real. I am sure by tonight I will be able to visualize the finished project.

We are not dying of heat inside any longer. The floor gives some shade. The flies are horrible, I am paying my kids a dollar for every ten flies they put down. HA!

My oldest had his birthday in the mess yesterday. He didn't seem to care at all. I told him I couldn't bear to bake a cake for him, so we went and bought all kinds of ice cream treats. Then, my good friend Wendy showed up, with a giant cake, and pizza too. There are times when a thank you just doesn't cut it. Thoughtfulness that goes beyond asking what you can do to help out. She anticipated a need, and quietly filled it. So grateful for her--making my ten year old feel extra special.

On a side note, I got to play with some papers from a brand new scrapbook company that debuted its stuff at CHA. Imaginisce. Look for the, people, they are going to be big. Great stuff, thick wonderfully textured paper--it hurt me to cut it! Awesome embellishments too--unique, and enough bling to make the squirrel in me happy.


Pretty stuff, eh? I love getting sample stuff to play with, always very inspiring. I am being paged again....have a great weekend everyone!

More progress...

Holy cow. Blogger let me add a photo! This is our group at CHA, see Elsie, see Ali? The photo has nothing to do with the post, other than I have tried a hundred times to add it to my blog--so there you go.

Back to the post...

If you have your roof out on your front lawn.....you might be a red-neck.

Some great progress today, tomorrow I am told it will be decked! I will breathe a whole lot easier with some plywood separating our living space from the elements.

I slept out under the stars last night with the kids....in our KITCHEN. And this morning we had a sparrow tweeting on our kitchen cabinet. Not a whole lotta folks can say that, eh?

I have spent the day boxing up all my scrapbook crap. My small studio will soon become the laundry room, and the sooner I get this stuff out of here, the sooner the washer and dryer will be hooked up and functional, which means we can all wear clean britches again...so this project has moved up to a high priority. Man, I have collected some stuff. I found a whole bag of Magic Mesh! Lucky!

My oldest is having his tenth birthday tomorrow. Took him shopping for stuff he wanted. I have never been happier to spend time in Walmart. Air conditioning is such a blessing! Oh my, I just let him browse.

So far, the weather has held, whew! And every night our house seems to be the neighborhood gathering, people checking on the progress. Anyway, at least it is all entertaining.

Need to go make some Mac n Cheese by flashlight. The kids haven't eaten...at 10 at night. More updates tomorrow.

Raising the ROOF!

Well, folks. The roof came off today, so I guess we are officially committed to this remodel. The second photo is the view from the top of my stairs, to the left is the kitchen, to the right the entryway and living room. It is hotter than the blazes of hell, and there are flies and angry hornets. So...please allow yourself a minute to be grateful for whatever living circumstances you are currently experiencing...cause we are EXPOSED to the elements here, baby. Never though I would need sunglasses and sunscreen to sweep my kitchen floor, but here I am.

I am so relieved the roof didn't fold up on us when the crane man lifted it off. We were told that was a possibility, can you imagine?

I keep reminding myself that I am getting a studio out of it. I will survive. And I will be happy...soon.

Pray for clear skies and constipated overhead birds.

CHA....let's re-cap.

I slept in my own bed last night, and even though it is still a piece of crap, I slept like the dead--cause it is my own bed. Shared my hotel bed with Ashley Gailey, and she really wanted me to spoon with her...so I was nervous all night. (Hee, hee) Sam will be happy to note that I guess I *do* snore. But only a little. I came prepared. I brought all the girls earplugs...just in case.

I came home to a huge mess. The roof is coming off tomorrow. All of the electrical is pulled, which means we have no lights downstairs, no stove, dishwasher or washer and dryer. I am not sad. As long as I have a fridge with cold Mountain Dew, everything will be okay. I am a little bummed that I have no microwave for my Hot Pockets... I took all of my cool clothes to CHA, so I might have to bust over to the neighbors and throw some laundry in. Maybe not, though, cause my pj pants are clean--got plenty of those babies.

No light in the upstairs bathroom either, they are somehow connected with the electrical downstairs, although maybe Sam just rigged it that way. Showering in the dark might be romantic...no distracting soap scum or cellulite...

Back to CHA:

Started actually before official CHA, with us flying out…luckily (or unluckily) we missed the whole, re-routing/canceling of the flights due to the electrical storms in Chicago. I hate to fly. I hate being folded up into tiny spaces. My carry-on bag was at my feet, and it tipped over. Things fell out, and I couldn’t even maneuver enough to pick them up until the plane landed and I could stick my heinie out in the aisle to look under the seat. It was hot, and somehow that pinhole air vent wasn’t cutting it. Not to mention that I felt obligated to hold *it* until my bladder nearly burst, cause I didn’t want my seat partners to physically relocate for me to be able to stand in line to use the half-sized port-a-potty. I am so grateful I didn’t have to sneeze…

The first day, set-up day. How does that *not* suck. We were all tired and hungry and hot. Our hotel was in another zip code, and Jason (the owner of the company I went with) kept leaving everything back at the hotel, including the instructions for the new booth. Since Jason is one of our regular readers, I am not going to say anything but, dude--when you told us to meet you in the lobby at 8:30, and Kristy called you in your room at 8:45--we totally know that we woke you up. ( ;) )

We had a class the next morning at 8 bells, and Ursula, the other teacher's flight got re-routed. Poor Kristy, who has never taught, had to fill in. We had no class samples--those had to be mocked up in the hotel room at 1:30 am. We were a tad late to class, but everything went well, and I think the ladies liked it.

Day two I worked the crowd at the Karen Foster booth. It was all good, I was right under a ceiling fan. That rocked. I was nice and cool, and I am pretty sure that it blew my hair back, and made me look a little like a supah model.

The rest of the trip was a blur...full of meeting my online peeps, and laughing, and pimping out product. The pea dinner was awesome. Mostly cause I won a major prize. Stemma paper--8 lines, 25 sheets per pack, and everyone wants to be my friend now. HA! Very cool stuff. I hope I get it soon, the airline lost that bag.

Some highlights:

Giordano's Pizza. Seriously. I am not a pizza connoisseur, truth be told, I have been know to eat Totino's or Jeno's frozen grocery store crap on occasion which tells you, I could have eaten the cardboard box this pizza came in, and been happy. But oh mama. The thick chewy cheese, the crispy pastry crust... I get the hype now. I will never be the same person again.

We ended up one night at the Cheesecake Factory for dessert only. This place is a big deal to us Utahns. We don't have one remotely close. I think California is the closest. So that is why I was snapping pictures Alissa. Don't keep giving me those youareacrazylady looks. Godiva cheesecake. Its really the only reason I go to these shows once a month, and that is about how long it takes me to burn it off of my hips.

Met some classy scrapping celebs. Those girls are in the place they are in not out of luck, or who they know--but because they deserve it. Not only for their talent, but for their graciousness, and humility. Cameras in the face, crazy stalkers sporting tee-shirts sporting the celebs name...things that the average person would carry mace for, and these girls are so good about it. A great lesson learned. Cool is cool. I don't think I could be cool.

This is my 12th, and final show for a while. It is bittersweet. I have always looked at the whole show experience like a travelling circus. It is the same people every time. Lance from the pickle--who it like an annoying big brother...Sid from SEI, the pod-father..Suzy West, the bubbly, huggy girl--the Junkitz girls, my Cactus Pink peeps--it is always the same people. We all borrow packing tape, swap product, put our feet up in the airport and share stories. I will miss that. To walk the floor and recognize most of the kids on the display layouts as the kids of my friends. To see my own work on display, and people taking photos of it, that is gratifying. I will miss that too.

But last night when my plane came in, I stood back and scanned the crowd. I saw five little tow-heads desperately searching a sea of faces for me. And their little faces lit up when we finally locked eyes. My daugher has the same now sagging pig-tails that I pulled her hair up in the day I left. I know where I need to be right now. I am good with that.

Welcome home.

CHA here I come!

Not much to report.

I am getting last minute prep work done for CHA. (Craft and Hobby Association Show) I am pretty sure that this will be my last scrapbooking *trip.* ETA: CHA is in Chicago this year for those who asked.

There is a time and season for everything, and right now I need time to just be a Mom. My kids are growing so fast, and I need to enjoy it. Quality time. Less Flip-flop time.

I am excited to take everything in at this show, hopefully meet some of you, hang out with some of you that I have met at previous shows. It will be a fun weekend!

I will report back on Sunday. Place saved. Don't talk about me while I am gone.