Greetings from the New World.

This morning I had a PTA meeting.

Get this...we had it at Wingers, cause it was actually not so much of a meeting, but more of a breakfast with a bunch of loud, chatty, stay-at-home mom's who busted out of the house to eat free food (paid for out of the PTA fund) for working our heinies off running the school functions. (And apparently I missed the memo about run-on sentences and blogging, but we'll let that one slide.)

I scanned the breakfast menu, trying my darnedest to find something that wouldn't make me feel weight watcher guilt for the rest of the week.

I was a little distracted by our waiter, whose face was covered with large warty mole things that looked like cocoa puffs.

So my choices were:
The Humongous Omelet (cheese, BACON, ham, onions and BACON and some other stuff, probably eggs) that was served with fried potatoes.
or
Orange Crepes with strawberries, cream cheese filling and Whipped Cream. (with cream. And cream.)
or
Belgium Waffle (With more cream. And possibly chunks of straight thigh-sticking fat)
or
The FULL breakfast. With everything. BACON, sausage, pancakes, eggs, triple-bypass, fried potatoes, deep fried butter quarters.

I could choose the "Healthy Fare" which was a bowl of oatmeal.

What to do??

I went with the omelet. (shrugs shoulders)

I asked for water to try to balance the force.
Cocoa-Puff messed it up anyway, and brought me a Veggie Omelet. No bacon. Sigh...
I have never seen so much cheese in my life!
I ate like a quarter of the omelet, and ate the potatoes, and tried to feel like I did the right thing. But the grease...when I drank water, I could feel it coagulating in my mouth, and coating my teeth.

I had heartburn all day. The heartburn of guilt. The guilt of SO MUCH cheese. And grease.

When did I become this? Has breakfast food always been this way? Or have I morphed into Perky Girl?

I am feeling better about myself.
And even Sam has mentioned a time or two that I am looking good.

But he does it in a man way. Bless his heart.

No offense to my male readers. Sometimes men choose wording that is double edged. Take for instance:

"Wow, honey! Your stomach has gone down a ton! It used to be huuuuuge." (Nice.)
"Have you noticed anything like it's easier to bend over now?" (WTH?)
or, the classic from Sunday-

"You look really sexy...like a Pilgrim!"

Somehow, I failed to see the compliment in that statement, and frankly, I am a little freaked out by whatever creepy fantasy he has brewing with the chicks that were on the Mayflower.

And I bet those chicks never ate Omelets.