I had the worst night ever. Lately they have all been kinda sucky. I get no sleep. I thought this was supposed to end when we got through the newborn stage?!? The kids get up now for such stupid reasons. Here are some recent gems:
"The doggies are ruffing at me."
"There are monsters in my eyes" [?]
"Sounds [said high-pitched and drawn out] are waking me up."
"I accidentally read scary stories today in reading time, and now I can't sleep" [these are the SAME scary stories, he was full-on bragging about reading earlier, Goosebumps, I think..?]
"I can't sleep." [this occurs every hour on the hour from his bed-time of 9, until about 2am. HELLO! Stop getting out of bed, coming into my room to tell me about it and maybe you will sleep?! I swear I am going to start giving him some of grandma's Ambien]
"I am thirsty." [this said passing four sources of water, not including toilets, to come tell me]
She doesn't "say" anything, she just wets the bed.
But last night takes the cake. I finally drift off to an exhausted dead-out sleep, and I wake up to the smell of Sam's fart. I can not even tell you how mad I was. And I can not begin to tell you how nauseatingly horrid the smell was. I kicked him. And all that resulted in was him shifting in the covers and releasing even more of the toxic fumes.
So I had to lay there with my eyes watering, and wait it out. It was too cold to get out of bed. I laid there hating him, and feeling sorry for myself cause all I want is sleep, and I never get sleep.
But I wrote a haiku while I was lying there hating my life:
I just want some sleep
but my nose is a traitor
I need a new job