I almost died (again) the other night at the gym.
It was so hot.
I had a heartbeat in my face...
I should probably back up and say that I am still wearing my winter sweatpants to the gym.
I am sure that was most of my problem.
The rest of the world has embraced summer with tank tops, me...not so much.
I don't want to be duped into enjoying the weather until Mother Nature decides to put the snow machine in storage.
Anyway, yesterday, I stopped into Ross, and found the cutest stinking workout capri's!
They are made out of that slickery sleeping bag fabric, and they have cargo pockets.
They are also mesh vented.
When I tried them on in the dressing room, some chick told me they made my butt look tiny.
That was all I needed to hear.
I think stores would find it in their best interest to pay someone to hang out in the dressing room, and just tell ladies that their bums looked good in things.
Sales would go up five hundred thousand percent.
Of course I bought them.
And then I got home, and really wanted the black ones too.
Okay, people, here is where I have always been the biggest dork.
These pants were ten bucks.
Yep. Ten singles.
Two fivers...or 40 quarters.
The latter of which I could probably find in the cushions of my couch RIGHT NOW.
And I have this inner dialog:
"You don't need two pairs of those pants."
"But they fit goooooood..."
"Yeah, but one pair is good enough, there will be other pants."
I drive myself crazy.
I couldn't stop thinking about them.
So I called Sam and had him pick up the black pair on his way home from work.
I had to guide him in on the cellphone.
"They are on a rack called "Active Bottoms," it is in the back of the store."
"They are black, with a pink stripe..."
Anyway, he bought them. He is a good man.
So, I rip the tags off this morning, and slide into them.
Here is where women's clothing is the craps...
He bought me the same size, but in a different color, right?
Well, they don't fit the same.
What is that?!
They are a tad bit tighter, especially across the rump.
I don't be needin' that in pump class when I do my dead-lifts.
So today I was on a quest!
To try on all the pants in the store in that same size to find the magic pair that fits like the navy ones.
Please tell me you have done this with women's clothes?
Why would the same style and same size fit differently?
Well, they were out, anyway.
That is the thing with Ross. You have to buy it if you like it, cause it's gonna be gone and never be re-stocked.
So I drag poor Mikayla to the Ross in Orem this morning.
And since we were on the freeway anyway, I also went to the Draper Ross.
Surely I would find some there?
I bought Mikayla a Happy Meal and dropped her off to school.
And took my same pants home.
I guess I am keeping them.
I might lose five pounds?
So basically I wasted a whole morning, which cost me about ten bucks in gas, and another Kidzbop CD.