It's good to be me.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to be male.
Not worrying about things like:
Hair
Make-up
Body image
A clean house
Fixing dinner
Monthly hormone shifts
Bloating
The PTA

You get the picture.
And then, every year something happens that makes me embrace, nay, CELEBRATE! being female.

Winter Scout Camp.

CHA recap.

This last week I ended up going with my best travelling friend Wendy to CHA--the big trade show for craft and hobby. They hold the trade show twice a year, and usually in different locations. This show was in Anaheim.
It was warm.
There was this big flaming ball of heat in the sky. THE SUN! Oh yes, the sun...forgot about that thing in this frozen wasteland I call home.
Here is Wendy and myself at the doors of the convention center. Don't you mind that I look like a linebacker.

Here is the convention center. It was packed with many booths.

And just to prove that not all crafters are middle-aged housewives...we get a few hip and happenin' scrappers. (besides me) This was at the registration desk.

Of course we also have our share of um...unique individuals.
I am not 100 percent sure what was going on here.

There are all kinds of booths at CHA.
Not just scrapbooking.
Here was an interesting booth featuring feathers. Boas, and other feathery things. I kinda wanted to roll around on the floor for a minute or two.

There was this booth too.
Chock full 'o shells.
In case you wanted to decorate, uh...I am drawing a blank here.
But it sure was a lot of shells.

Not exactly sure about what was going on here either, but it was shiny and glittery and I blacked out for a minute as my inner-squirrel took over.

For those crafters who run out of scrapbook pages, or walls in their trailer park, this lady is sporting the latest in clothing decor. I am sure this will catch on. You know where you saw it first! You're welcome.

Speaking of catching something...guess who released their own scrapbook product line?
Paris Hilton.
That is right.
And if Paris makes you think of garish rhinestoned dogs and glossy cheapness, then you have her product line pretty much NAILED.
I didn't meet her personally, so the photos are grainy and crappy.
Her booth:

The goods:

Paris herself:

I did, however, meet Jane Seymour, who was delightful with her beauty and accent.
She was there painting, and was very sweet.
I refrained from yelling "Hide the PENNIES!" to her, which is funny if you have seen her movie "Somewhere in Time", and if you haven't...just move along, cause that made no sense to you, and it would take too long for me to explain it.



Let's move along to a whole bunch of shots of the projects I did for the show, for my manufacturers:
This first one is a Quickutz layout in their booth. This one is especially for Shay, since I used a photo of her twins. There are a couple of my cards too.

Another Quickutz layout:

And a layout and cards, still Quickutz.

Moving over to the Karen Foster booth, there were two ginormous ads featuring my projects.


I loaded these photos out of order, but here are some of my layouts in the Core'dinations cardstock booth:

And some more Karen Foster stuff. This layout, is the layout I made from the Mechanic photo shoot. Remember that one? I thought you did...

Oh wait, what is this? On day two of CHA, the same lady wore yet another pimped out, blinged up outfit. Who can compete with that? Someone call Martha. Stat!

On the second day, Wendy and I really got into the make and takes. This is where the manufacturers let you make projects to sample their new product or tools. It has been so long since I have put something together that someone else designed.
It was delightful.
Kinda like when someone else cooks you dinner, and all you have to do is shovel it into your mouth.
I came home with some cute projects!


I also tried a new craft.
Beading.
I loved it.
Here is Wendy digging through the beads to create her bracelet:

I made a really cute bracelet too.
I am not going to show you, cause I am a beading novice, and I may have beading professionals in my reading pool!
Maybe my cute is a professional ugly cause I don't know what I am doing, ya know? Case in point: this lady thinks her pants are cute.

Enough said.
We also attended the Two Peas in a Bucket cupcake social.
Two Peas is a scrapbooking online community that I have been a part of since 2002.
It was fun to meet people that I have chatted with online, in real life.
It was even awesome-er to eat the cupcakes.

They weren't Betty Crocker.
They were good.
Let's look closer:

I inhaled mine.
It was mocha creme. With an accent on the creme part.
Then I was up all night.
All hopped up on sugar, and uh, whatever mocha is...
Then, we flew home.
Made the flight without any incident.

There is still a lot of snow here.
And kids.

The end.

New Projects

I got the green light to sneak peek some of the new releases that will debut next week at CHA (craft and hobby association show in Anaheim).

First up, the much anticipated MECHANIC line from Karen Foster. And you may remember this photo shoot from a couple of blog posts back...

Then the new GRADUATION line also from Karen Foster, and using stock photos...so thanks to the anonymous strangers who are on the layouts I did.

My favorite of this release, the BABY BOY line. I really liked it, loved the color palette. The baby is one of my sisters' twins. Nice to have such delicious photos to work with. Almost makes me want to have another kid.
Just for the photos.
Almost.
Okay, not really.

Here are the twins again.
Yum.
This layout is featuring some new die cut shapes from Quickutz.

Then we have the new release from Core'dinations cardstock.
"Whitewash", a paper collection, where the top of the cardstock is white, and the core is colored. When you sand it or tear it, the color comes through. I love this stuff!
A card:

And a layout:

Whew.
That was a lot of linking.
Can you guys see when I link on this thing?
On one of my computers the links show up as blue, and on my other computer, you can't see the links at all...just wondering...

Just to clarify.

I hope most of you understand my personality enough to know that I am very sarcastic, and was being sarcastic while I was poking fun at Yoga.

There are some redeeming factors to Yoga.
I still do Yoga. Every Friday, in fact.

I really like this comment made by one of my readers, Terra, and since blogger doesn't give me an e-mail along with a comment, I couldn't ask her permission so I am hoping she doesn't mind me quoting her.

On a side note, I can't tell you how sad it makes me, on so many levels, to hear the commenter say that they would let fear keep them from going to a gym class. I don't even know where to start with that, it makes me so angry that this is what the human race has come to, that our collective self-esteem has plummeted so much. If we can't even get over fear of the GYM, for god's sake... we're in serious trouble. And of course, our children see us being afraid, and letting apprehension dictate our actions, and they learn that it's okay to let fear keep us from doing whatever seems a little difficult at first. Sad.

I totally agree.

I know that I have asked my own mom to come to a class with me, and she said she would be "too embarrassed."

Seriously you guys. I think it bears repeating: DO NOT let fear, or embarrassment keep you from going to the gym or a class.

Trying new things is hard.
But what is your health worth?

When I fell off the ball at the gym, or when I face-planted on the bench while doing push-ups....guess who saw?

NO ONE.

Everyone is so busy sweating their guts out, holding the correct form, and trying to push THEMSELVES that they could give a rats butt less about what you are doing.

It's true.
And I can't say enough good about going out to attend an actual class.
I would never push myself that hard at home.
Right next to the TV and a puffy comfy couch...are you kidding?
So please, please, don't let my comments, or your perception of what "other people might think" keep you from trying something new.

Okay, off my soapbox.

Not going back.

Last week I tried my first Yoga class.

Remember, that class was in the gym at the church.
I survived it.
It was only a half hour long.
And I kinda liked it.
I felt all stretchy and relaxed.

So Ponica talked me into trying the Yoga class at the gym. The real gym, not the church gym.

The gym Yoga class is a full hour.
I was a dummy, cause I went to an hour long pump class before Yoga.
I really like pump class.
I thought I could do both.
Boy, I am seriously shorting out in my brain lately.

So I was early for Yoga, cause I was already in the gym post-pump.
I grab a Yoga mat, and lay one out for Ponica who was meeting me over there.

I had to take my shoes and socks off.
Lucky for me, I had painted my toenails this week.
They were glittery! and purple!, and matched the yoga mat.
I had good toe self-esteem.
I think that is important for Yoga.

The regulars for the class started coming into the gym.
They had their own mats.
They wore Teva's and stretchy Yoga pants.
They had long flowing hair, pulled back into ponytails.

THOSE WERE THE MEN.

The girls that came in, were very earthy.
They smelled like incense.
No one else had painted toenails.

When they came in, they immediately started stretching.
Some dude/lady was doing hand-stands.

The teacher came in and put the music on.
Turned out all the lights.
The class went on.
And on.
Annnnnd onnnnnn.

My stupid mat was slippery, and I was already shaky in the shoulders from doing pump class. I almost face-planted during "downward dog."

I was super glad it was dark.

Finally, towards the end of class, the teacher had us all lay down on the mat in the "corpse" pose, for a cool-down. I guess? Not sure what it is called in Yoga.

Anyway, she started counting off our breathing.
In for two, out for six. In for two, out for six...

And then she said something like "stop breathing?" The whole class was just laying on their mats like they were asleep, or maybe dead. For a long time.

Then she rings this chime, and I am not kidding you...the whole class, rolled over on their sides, still asleep. Or maybe in a trance.

Then about five minutes later, she chimes the bell again, and they all immediately sit up into the lotus position. Like a cult of zombies.

Ponica said the chimes are because some people really do fall asleep, and they have trained their sub-conscious to listen for the chimes.
The first one is like a snooze button, I guess?

Yoga is for weirdies.

Supah-Star!

Today I had the craptastic opportunity to be in yet another video production.
Remember last time I did that?
HERE.

This time was better.
Not because I am getting better at it, but because most likely when they start editing, they will choose to cut the crazy lady (me) right out of the clip.
They filmed a handful of us this time, remember last time it was just me.
That was rotted.
At least they have a choice with this project.

I could hear myself talking, and I know I was a raving idiot.
But I looked good.

They had a hair and make-up lady there to try to do her best with what God and Super Cuts gave me.
Since I know you are all just dying to see what I look like...
Here you go.

Jayden, my 12 year old was the photographer.
Not really crisp images, but even better to smooth my wrinkles out.
Kinda like soft-focus, no?

Anyway. I am glad it is over.
Not sure why I say yes in the first place.
I am a sucker that way.

This was for an infomercial that will be airing in a few weeks.
I will most likely link you here.
You know, cause I like humiliation and stuff.

Oh Shoe-t.

Yesterday I had a lot of errands to run.
I try to pack all my errand-y things into one day, because I am a winter hermit, and the sun and fresh air hurt my lungs and eyes.

So yesterday was errand day.

I got almost everything done, all but the grocery store.
I figure another day of Ramens and a Flintstone vitamin are not going to kill the children.

Speaking of the children:
And killing them...

I was on my way home, and Shianne (mom #2) called me on my cellphone to check in.
"We are all home now. Everyone is fine."
"Great! I am on my way home, I will be there in about ten minutes."
"Oh, mom, you should probably know," she said, "Mikayla lost her shoe walking home."

What?

Last I checked, the school is literally ten minutes from our front porch. The roads have melted off, leaving her a straight, dry shot home.
How is losing a shoe possible?

Shianne continues: "We were kinda piddly-dinking on the way home, and we were playing in the big snow piles."

(Big snow piles= rock hard ledges of snow that the snowplow has piled up on the sides of the road.)

At some point, from what I gathered, Mikayla's foot broke though the crust of a snow drift and her shoe came off. I am not sure how their Kindergarten and Fourth Grade educations failed them at that point. And why it was so hard to STOP right there, reach a hand down into the HOLE IN THE SNOW and retrieve the shoe, but apparently that wasn't possible at that juncture.

She skipped (unevenly) home in a shoe and a sock.
This is Utah WINTER, people.

I made them march right back to the snow piles and dig around in them.

Mikayla has two good pairs of shoes right now.

Her patent leather Mary-Jane's she wears to church.
And these shoes.
Well, now shoe.
Not plural.
Not cool.

The shoe was never recovered.
I have always wondered how sometimes, I will be at Costco, or the mall, and there will be a worn and random shoe sitting in a cart, or displayed high on a post as to alert the owner, and I have always thought "what kind of idiot loses their shoe?"

Now I know.

And I also understand why some creatures in the animal kingdom eat their young directly after birth.

Namaste.

I did Yoga for my first time on Friday.

It was a pretty low-key class, it was free at the church.
There were approximately seventeen toddlers shrieking through the gym during class.
The sound reverberated off of the basketball banks, and nearly drown out the teacher.
I was even on the front row.

The class was only a half an hour long.
In that half an hour I was called:
A Cat (not a cool cat, just a plain old mangy flea ridden cat)
A Downward Dog
A Facing Dog
A Mountain
and a Cow.
Oh, and a Corpse.

The "Corpse" was aptly named as it was some sort-of "resting pose" directly after the teacher asked us to sit Indian style, and wrap our legs around our ears.

We had to hold this for a minute breathing deeply, and thinking of cleansing thoughts while trying not to get hit by the flying matchbox cars winging across the gym by the children.

It was kinda nice to curl up in a Corpse after that.
I might try that at home sometime.

"Oh man, Mom is in her Corpse, we better go make our own Ramen's."

Did I feel better?
I don't know.
I am not flexible, so there weren't a lot of moves I could actually pretzel myself into.
It did give me time to notice how gnarly my toes have gotten, being all cooped up in shoes up for the past few months.

Pedicures on the Saturday agenda.

Goodbye $89.00

Hey--
Just a heads up.
You all know how I like good smells.
Bath and Body Works is having their big sale.
It is only through this weekend.
You can order online, if you don't have a store close by you.
HERE.
They have the Anti-Bacterial soaps for $3, and the Wallflowers and refills for $5.
We ventured into the big city. To the mall.
I stocked up.

No, I am in no way affiliated. (I wish.)
Just like to cover up the smell of my boys, and this stuff does the trick.

Mr. Fix-it.

One of my manufacturers is coming out with an Auto Mechanic line.
Stickers, paper and embellishments featuring Auto Mechanical crud; for all your crafting needs.
Are you as excited as me?
You know, cause we are all just thrilled everytime our vehicles break! down! We want to scrap it!
And who doesn't have a really great relationship with the honest guys at the grease shop?
A good enough relationship to include them in our family scrapbook.
Good enough relationships to maybe send them a birthday card!!
Right?

Well, wait no more...you will soon have the perfect product line!

Needless to say, Sam had to pose for me. For some mechanical pictures.
I am sort-of glad.
I married a pretty handy guy, and he is constantly taking care of most of our vehicle break-downs by himself.
I just never thought to scrap about it. I guess it is a good thing that this product line forced my hand that way.
Of course, he was ecstatic about letting me shoot him! (With the camera.)
Here is what I got:

Please tell me that *your* mechanic also pretends that auto parts are indeed life-sized replicas of private body parts.
Or that *your* mechanic works the camera, and could easily moonlight in B grade adult films.

The last day of vacation from school.

Junior High is killing me.

All of a sudden, (7:06 pm sunday night) Jayden has a million projects that are due by...oh yeah! Tomorrow!
Please shoot me before I kill him.

He is giving me 1,000 excuses why it is "not his fault" that these assignments weren't worked on/finished during the past two weeks.

You know...the past two weeks where he has been doing nothing at all but eating sugar and generally terrorizing his siblings.

We had a nice long talk about not making excuses, owning your choices, and taking responsibility for (and hopefully learning something) from the bad ones. There was also a BONUS! side lecture on procrastination.

The whole parenting thing...it's not that fun sometimes.

It IS fun, however, to send them back to school...

Christmas in pictures.

I finally downloaded our Christmas pictures.
I didn't take a whole lot of them.
I was more interested this year in being a part of it all, instead of being the designated photo journalistic field reporter.

Christmas Eve:
I keep thinking that pretty soon Jayden will be too old to wear the zip-up PJ's.
But he still takes them with him on Scout camp-outs.
They are dang warm!
He doesn't care if he is ridiculed by his peers.
(Stud.)(Footed PJ Stud.)
I secretly hope he doesn't like them soon.
I kinda want them for me.
Warm, and also a great husband deterrent. (If you catch my drift...)

Here is the "before we let the kids go to town" on the presents.
Also, this is the reason I now feel like I am drowning in crap.
There is no place in our house to put all those things.
Help me.
(I am the lady rocking back and forth in the corner.)
(Behind the crap.)

The greed frenzy:
Much like throwing chum to hungry sharks.
I have seen that on the Discovery Channel.
It was less impressive with the sharks.

I am sad that this one is so out of focus, but this....THIS is what compels parents all over the globe to eagerly and willingly continue to participate in the Holiday-Of-All-Stress.
This look.
Worth more than all the Visa bills.

Christmas night. The flu hits.
DUN, DUN, DUNNNNN!

It swept through the whole family.
Fantastic!

And lastly, here is a sneak of some of the CHA stuff I have been working on...while sick...
(<----such a trooper I am!)
It is also the cute outfit I got Shianne for the bargain price of $9.09. And also, one of the last photos of her with her long hair.

Off to work!

2009 More! Posts!

I am going to make a good effort to post over here more often.
When I don't have much to report, I am just going to share some of my favorite links.
Here is one I check almost every day.
You can set the "filter" to avoid the off-colored posts.
I haven't been offended yet.
But that's not saying a whole lot.
Enjoy!
http://failblog.org/

Hair today...gone tomorrow.

That is the worst blog title ever.
I am a little distracted, and can't think of a better one right now.
I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and there is no milk in the fridge.
Therefore I am eating Quaker Oat Crunch out of a bowl, without milk.
Not going down well.
Kinda scratchy.
So you get what you get with the blog title, okay?

This is not to distract from the major event of yesterday.
My nine year old, Shianne, bobbed her hair off.
She donated 11" of hair to Locks of Love.
She has never had a haircut, besides the occasional trim, oh, and the one time, when her twin brother went to town on her with his Crayola Little Me Safety scissors.
Here is her before:

At the Salon:

During:




A super craptastic "after", of the back of her head.
She slept over at Grandma's house last night, but I expect that we will do a good "after" photo shoot in the very near future.

She looks older somehow, and she has been flipping her hair around, and generally acting a little sassier.
She has been wanting to cut it for a while now, and is very happy with the end result. I am excited too, the length she was at was getting hard to manage.
I think it will be a good change for a New! Year!

Speaking of...did you know Dick Clark was still alive?
Holy nuts.
He looks like a wax statue from Madame Tussuad's.
But only if the wax was kinda melty and trying to talk.
Poor guy!
I miss him hosting my stay-at-home New Years Celebration already.
Ryan Seacrest bugs.
I miss Bob Barker on the Price is Right too.

Okay, I really need some milk.
I guess I will have to wash this cereal down with some diet A&W.
Happy freaking New Year.