dating a DJ

I guess I need to tell the Howard Jones story, since I posted a picture of he and I together, and left you all hanging about that.

I was working as a loan officer, and had a friend from High School come in one day. He came in with this guy, who wanted to get a loan for a car. They were friends, and my old friend, whom we will call Phil introduced me to "Rob." <---not his real name.

I worked Rob's loan up, and we chatted about things. Come to find out, he was a DJ for a local alternative radio station. We talked shop for a while. Talked about The Cure, and Erasure, and some NIN. Then he signed his loan papers, and went to pick up his car.

A day later, Phil called and told me Rob thought I was cool, and wanted to ask me out.

At this point in my life I had just survived a horrible relationship, and was not at all interested in dating. The thought sickened me, actually. I had just come to terms with spending the rest of my days as a nun, or a spinster librarian. I tried to tell Phil that, that I wasn't up for it, for the games and the obligation or any of that.

He assured me that Rob just wanted to hang out. No big deal. Besides, Rob wasn't the best looking guy ever. He reminded me of Charlie Brown, actually, with a head that was too big for his body, slightly balding, glasses...

I gave Phil permission to give him my phone number. If he was sure we could just be friends.

During that week, Rob would send me funny things via the fax machine at work. (This was pre-e-mail, people.) And it was all good. I was looking for a friend, and he seemed to be fine being one. He made me laugh. He had a great sense of humor, similar to my own, a little off the wall. We got along great.

That Saturday, he called me, I was at work, and told me that Howard Jones was going to be at the station that afternoon, and did I want to come down and hang out with HoJo. Um, YES! So he left me a VIP pass at the front desk, and I got to hang out with Howard Jones, ask him questions, eat lunch, watch his live radio broadcast. It was very cool. That night I went with Rob and Phil and Phil's date to the Howard Jones concert.

After that, on weekends, we would all hang out at the station where Rob would work, and in between songs we laughed and talked. I needed the friendship, and I was grateful to have a place to go and something to look forward to. I didn't feel any pressure from Rob. It was nice. I made it very clear that I was NOT looking for any type of relationship. He seemed to understand.

I should mention, however, that this was about the time that Sam came into my life. Freshly home from serving a two year LDS mission in Ecuador. We had always been friends in High School, but this was the first time we saw each other as potential dates. He was looking pretty good...but I was still hesitant about dating anyone.

Depeche Mode came into town. Rob asked me to go, and gave me backstage passes too. I love, love DM, and was so excited to meet them. It was unreal, to be standing there, right next to Martin L. Gore!

We went to the radio station after-concert party. Everyone seemed to be very interested in meeting me, when Rob introduced me around. I started to get it then. That he was reading into this wrong. I am not sure why a guy can't just be friends, but I knew I needed to break it off with him. It wasn't fair to him. And besides...even with me fighting it at every step, Sam was growing on me.

I don't remember how I broke it to him. I do remember Sam taking me to lunch one day, and we were casually holding hands, and a friend of Rob's saw us, and reported back to him that I was holding hands with some guy at the mall.

He was hurt. I didn't have an explanation for him. I felt really, really bad.

The next day, ON THE AIR! he proceeded to publicly bash me. Not by name, but anyone involved at the station knew. He went on and on how girls say they don't want a relationship, use you, and are holding hands with another guy the next day.

I didn't talk to him again, for years. And of course I married that other guy.

A couple years ago, I won something on the radio. It wasn't the same station, but Rob had switched stations, and I didn't keep track of him. As luck would have it, he worked at that station. So, the station put me in touch with him, and we talked. I was nervous, but everything was fine, after all those years. He was married, and happy. I was married and happy. We caught up, and I got closure.

I still hear him broadcast every once in a while. And I have awesome memories of what could have been a pretty dark time in my life without his friendship.