the twins and starving.

I did a photoshoot of my sisters twin boys.
Then I got to sit and hold them all afternoon. I am such a sucker for newborns! And these little guys are good babies. I could just eat them up...no, really...read on--

I am on week three of Weight Watchers. I think my body has finally figured out that this isn't some funny joke. It's NOT that we need to go to the grocery store. That I am really only feeding it those 24 measly points a day. For some reason I have been really hungry lately. And gassy from all the fiber and veggies. My body is rejecting all the good food.

I have been trying to cook new things, things that I can eat with my whole family. Cause you want the definition of torture? When you make a Fudge Cheesecake Swirl bundt cake with cream cheese glaze and sprinkles, and serve it up to the family, and watch them dig in while you snack on RICE CAKES. Salivating. And cursing life without cake.

Or when you have a mid-day snack, and settle on a healthy-good-for-you YOGURT, and after eating the whole thing, figure out that it cost you FIVE BLOODY FREAKING POINTS! And then later that day, when you are out of points, you curse the yogurt again, and try satisfy your stomach,(which by now is trying to eat itself for survival)by gnawing on the inside of your cheeks.

Sometimes I dream of nachos.

In my last fat farm meeting, they instructed us on "The Art of Visualization." We all had to visualize ourselves in January. We were to be specific. Like saying "In January I want to be a skinnier" is not specific enough. More like saying "In January, I want to flounce into a room full of my peers, wearing a size eight, and having all heads turn in envy." (HUGE eyeroll)

We had to write down on a 3x5 card what we visualized.

The girl next to me, bless her, was probably 5'2" and weighed in at I am guessing 210. She happened to be engaged to be married in January. Her card said "I visualize myself walking down the aisle in a six 6-8 wedding dress that is form fitting."

I visualize her setting herself up for failure.

The instructor went around the room and asked people to read their cards.
Good thing she skipped me.
I visualized myself not needing these cheesy meetings anymore.