Non-vacation

This is where I should be:


I was supposed to fly in yesterday.
However, flights filled up.
There were 76 people on stand-by...and it snow-balled all day.
That was just to get there.
And already, at a week out, the flights are negative to get back home.
I had heroin flash-backs of last year.
Spending a couple days stuck in an airport.
I still vividly remember the hopeless, desperate feeling...
I am not really sure what triggered it, but I fell victim to a full blown anxiety attack.
Sick stomach, sweating, tight chest...
It just didn't feel right.
Sam was very supportive throughout my blubbering break-down.
He may have been a tad bit scared.
Let's back-track, and say that I have been under a lot of stress and pressure for the past month, and I think the flight situation was the proverbial straw.
Finally he said, "you know...you don't have to go..."
So I bailed.
And after I decided not to go, I felt peace. Weird.
Here is what I am missing:

And scrapping all day with awesome ladies:

Sigh...

So as it is...folks around these parts think I am gone.
My phone has been quiet.
The inbox has been empty.
And I have been taking a "Home Vacation."
Honestly, it has been rather nice.
I needed the time to re-group, and try to get my crap back together.
The kids are out of school on break, so we have no routine. We stayed up late last night, playing, and we all slept in this morning.

I am sad to not see my Getaway friends this year.
Sending them virgin jello shots, and Craisins, and big ol' Utah hugs.