I wear my sunglasses at night.

One day, my ultra-conservative mom went to a beauty salon in Provo and had her make-up tattooed onto her face.
She had eyeliner, eyebrows and her whole lips tattooed.

I was in awe and slightly shocked.
This is the same lady that believes that caffeine is a tool of the devil, and gives you "that look" if you choose to partake of it.

I had to brown-bag my Mountain Dew in her house.

So she gets tattooed, right?

And she found out all about it from the little gray-haired ladies she works with at the temple.

Which is even stranger.
Anyway...
The day after she got it done, I am not going to lie, she looked like a cheap day-time hooker. (<---sorry, Laura, I bet your work Internet filter just banned me again.) Her face was puffy and swollen, and the eyeliner and eyebrows were heavy and dark. Think Amy Winehouse.

And her lips!
Oh, her lips looked like Botox gone really bad, and then sunburned to a crisp.

But after five days of swabbing the tattoos with Vaseline, they healed up, and de-puffed and she looked fantastic! And the best part...she didn't have to apply make-up every dad gum day.

She was the poster-child for permanent cosmetics, raved everyday about it and eventually wanted me and all my sisters to experience the freedom of NO! MORE! EYELINER!

So she paid for all of us to go in and have our eyeliner tattooed onto our faces.
We are such heathens.

Again, I am not going to lie to you. It hurt like hell.
It was like having a bee sting you over and over again in the same spot.
And then about ten more times just for fun.
The skin felt raw, and still, she keep stabbing the needle in...

I don't know how I stayed sitting there.

But it was worth it. I admit.
And the best gift my mom has given me.
Well, besides birthing me...
Because for the past nine years? I have not had to apply eyeliner.
And on my days when I don't want to put on any make-up, I still look okay, cause of the eyeliner.

It has started fading out. They say it eventually fades completely.
So today, I am going in to have it re-done.
All of my sisters are.

And my gym-friend Ponica said to me last night "Aren't you afraid they will slip and pop your eye?"

Why, no. I wasn't...BUT NOW I AM!!
So thanks for that, Pon.

Maybe this time I will take some pictures.
And some pain meds.
And then for five days, I am laying low. All puffy and stuff.

So if you see me at the grocery store with big sunglasses on, and think to yourself "It's ten o'clock at night, good gravy! What is with that lady?"

Just sparing you the hideousness.