I love a man in uniform.

Seriously. Is there anything sexier than a man with flocked eyelashes?

Except maybe when the sexy man pauses to spit a glop of painty mucous into the toilet.

Painting is done. Hello, carpet!

But....he needed them...

Socks.

Apparently not a popular gift to give a ten year old boy.

Maybe I should have thrown in a comb.

She's ALIVE!

Wow. It has been a while, eh?

I have had a crazy run of life lately...all good, thankfully. Just busy, like we all are this time of year.

What have I been up to?

*Painted the entire downstairs. Remember how we took the roof off over the summer? Yeah, well that left us with a *new* ceiling downstairs. We added crown moulding, I have always wanted it...and finally had the excuse, because we had a gap over one wall where it didn't connect with the new ceiling. So, I taped everything off, and thought, oh heck--while it is taped, we might as well add color. I think picking paint color is horrible. I can't decide to save my life, and almost always the color ends up being so different from the 1" by 1" chip they give you. I chose a khaki color, that in some lights looks just like foamy greenish baby poo. You know what I am talking about (!!!). I am still getting used to it, and I think I like it.

*Organized two school class parties. PSA: If you sign up to help for a party, please mean it. Argh. I had last minute cancellations, and some serious anxiety. Leaving me to prepare a craft, treat and game for one class. I will feel better after 1:00 today, when they are both over. Why, oh why did I agree to be a room mom to two classes? Never again! Do you hear that, self? Plus, I have pack meeting tonight. Taking 30 boys ages 8-11 to a care center to sing carols. Must. Have. Caffeine.

*Finally found the last remaining tooth brushes on the planet. I have been looking everywhere for these. Oral B has spin brushes with a two minute timer on them. You push the button, and it beeps when two minutes is up. Genious! My kids think getting their teeth wet constitutes as brushing. The only bad thing about these brushes is they are Breast Cancer Awareness colors. Multi-hued pinks. My boys are going to have to just deal with it. Don't you love that last-minute crap of Christmas?

*Put the tree up. Last night, in fact. As soon as the paint wasn't tacky any longer. I mean, geez, it's the 20th. And poor Mikayla has been asking me when it is Christmas. To the kids, it's all about the decorating. Back in the day, they used to do the whole tree on Christmas eve. Were they on crack? You should see the half-butted job we did. Cause I don't care. Cause it is only going to be up for a week. I do love the Fisher-Price Little People Nativity. New this year for us, it has been up since Thanksgiving. I love that the kids can play with it. And they do, so far--Joseph has battled dinosaurs, and Mary and baby Jesus went for a cruise on the Little People Ark, finished by a tea party with Polly Pocket.

*Played in the first snowfall of the season. We got a ton of it! As much as I hate the cold, I do love a good snowfall. Everything is so pretty and white. As I get older, I really appreciate the changing seasons. Keeps you from being bored...what with the constant warm weather, and palm trees they have other places......;) I don't know how they *stand* it....

*Started planning for another trip. (The snow will have worn out it's welcome by then.) I think we are taking the kids to Disney World in January. Hey, when the flights are free....

* Bought a Mac. Yes, finally. I am going to have to re-learn everything yet again, but hopefully for the last time. I haven't gotten it yet, but it's coming!

*Skipped the gym this week. Heart-breaking.

* Got a speeding ticket. Merry Christmas to me.

*Baked, wrapped, partied, delivered gifts. Still going...

So, anyway. It's been one of those weeks where you look at the clock, and it is after midnight, and you still have a million things to do before you can go to bed. I haven't even started on the normal things like laundry. I am sure it will all wait for me.

Enjoy your holiday season! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Take lots of pictures and eat lots of goodies just cause I said so. I am going to take a little break until after Christmas, see you then!

Enabler Alert.

With the New Year right around the corner, and heck, with Christmas (Santa sometimes leaves *me* presents....;)) I love getting organizational things. It is a resolution for me, every year it seems like.

In the quest to become more organized, I have tried a lot of things. Some worked, some didn't. One thing I did right was these Paper Keepers. I have one for each of my paper manufacturers, and one for each color of cardstock. They line up on my shelves (and look so pretty!) , and whenever I need a certain paper brand, or color of cardstock, I just take the Paper Keeper down, thumb through it, and put it back on the shelf. My paper always stays protected, and it is very easy to thumb through, without lifting a whole horizontal stack. They hold a TON of 12x12 paper! My paper always looks nice too.

When I converted to this system, I paid some ca$h. They are running them on a great sale for the next couple of weeks. I am going to grab a few more, I am constantly outgrowing my stash!

They also have the 12x12 storage boxes, for horizontal storage. I use them for layouts that are in the works, but not finished...and published and sent back to me layouts, that are not yet filed in the albums. They are pretty darn handy as well. They have photo boxes too, and other organizational stuff. There is a Nifty $1.50 section, I haven't looked there lately, they may still have some chipboard mini-albums left.

Here is the link:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pg=products&grp=237

Happy Shopping! Remember, any order over $50.00 gets free shipping. You can't order for an hour..I need to get my order in first....

Some facts.

Did you know that an average of 60 people die of (fairly) natural causes on airplanes every year?

There was a lady, whose husband had a massive heart attack aboard an airplane. They were on a trans-atlantic flight, an 11 hour flight when he died.

The flight crew covered him in a blanket, and moved his wife, and his body up to first class...strapped him in a seat, and her next to him, holding his hand, and sobbing for the remainder of the flight.

Sam and I discussed this to some length.

I like to think I am compassionate. But honestly, and to my own horror, I guess I am the heartless one. I would need some serious therapy after being forced to sit next to a stiff for that long. For any amount of time, really. I mean, good gravy, did that poor lady check to see "if he was cold yet..." ((shudder)) As much as I love Sam.....I couldn't do that. Don't people lose control of bodily functions when they pass away? Can you imagine being in first class that trip?

"Could you do that?" I asked Sam.
"Do what?"
"Sit next to my dead body for an entire flight."
"Yeah, it wouldn't matter to me. I would just be doing the crossword puzzle."

Classic Sam.

It's a good day.

I am holding my breath.

The finish guys came today! They looked, they made marks, they brought in tools...lots of tools, and said they would be back tomorrow morning. YIPEE!!!!

At least, if that is another lie, I have tools to hock to pay for my "take it easy" meds.

The secret is out.

You wanna know my secret from the other day?

I have never been published in the scrapbooking world for anything other than a layout, well, and one mini-album. I decided to give the Card-making thing a whirl. Which, by the way, was very hard. For some reason cards were hard for me. They are a mini-layout, right? You would think? This should be easy for me. I struggled with them, but got a few cranked out, and submitted them.

Well, I got a phone call from Alisha, the editor of Cards magazine. At first I thought she might be calling for me to "please, don't submit anymore, you are taking up inbox space." But no...and I almost fell off my chair when she explained why she was calling. Not only am I getting a few cards published, but they wanted to use *three* of my cards on the COVER of the magazine!

WooHOOOO! Beginners luck, I am sure....but dang good luck to try something new, and score the cover!

I think the clincher was when I photographed the cards for submission. I used props! Yes, I did. For Easter, I used a plastic bunny....and for one of the "Friends" cards I posed it standing beside a cold Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is a Friend. Woo 'em with Dew, I always say. It's no wonder that card got picked. It was subliminal.

Tralalala...I am a card-maker now.

Oh look...a new post!

I guess the only thing going on with the house right now is that I am using its "unfinishedness" as a cool backdrop. Sigh....

We are still waiting on the finish man to hang the moldings and doors and well, all the "finish" stuff. Then we can paint everything. I have the carpet scheduled to be laid on the 11th. I hope we are all done by then.

What color of carpet did I get?

Well, thank you for asking.

I went into the store, and asked them what color they would recommend if one wanted to spill cherry Go-gurt/vomit/potting soil/magic bubbles/and that little girl florescent pink lard lipstick; grind it into said carpet with a shoe, and *not* show a stain. They laughed. I didn't.

I don't think that is too much to ask, really. I mean, we put a man on the moon. People have been living in homes with children for years...and we can't invent a carpet that is child-proof?

They proceeded to show me some nice off-white Berber selections with colored flecks that "will hide almost anything." Riiiight.

We went with a dark, poo brown. With some colored flecks. It wasn't called poo brown, of course...although I *do* think that should be a color, because I am sure there are other parents out there that are not willing to be a slave to their carpeting either. Ironically, it was called "Gingerbread." Which considering the holiday season, will probably be the first thing ground into it.

We picked out tile. Sam thinks he can install it himself. I feel a few more blog posts coming up about that....

And into my new studio will go some laminate fake wood flooring. This is so I can use my rolly chair to scoot around wherever I want. I don't know that I will ever have a need to leave my chair. Should work wonders for the big-butt problem I have been working on.

We are so stinking close. SO close! And yet...we wait.

I am not really excited about the idea of setting up Christmas a week before the big day. I hope we get things wrapped up soon. Or maybe we won't even do that Christmas thing...heh, heh.

Long post- but worth the read.

I am posting today, a story I read last night, that hit me pretty hard. Mostly because I could have written it, and secondly because it mentions almost getting hit in the head with a can of soup. (tee, hee) It is a little long, but please book mark it, and give it a read when you get a minute.

It is not very often that I share my serious side, but after reading this, I hope maybe we can all be more aware this holiday season.

Smile more. Be a little more patient. Slow our steps down to match our child. Brake and let someone in front of you in traffic. Small things, that might make our holiday seem that much better.

Hero at the Grocery Store
By Stephenie Meyer

Christmas stories happen in the most everyday places. I was part of one not long ago at the grocery store. I hope I never forget it, though the memory is bittersweet.

I had been shopping for almost an hour by the time I got to the checkout lines. My two youngest sons were with me, the four-year-old refusing to hold onto the cart, the two-year-old trying to climb out of the basket and jump down to play with his brother. Both got progressively whinier and louder as I tried to keep them under control, so I was looking for the fastest lane possible. I had two choices. In the first line were three customers, and they all had just a few purchases. In the second line was only one man, a harried young father with his own crying baby, but his cart was overflowing with groceries.

I quickly looked over the three-person line again. The woman in the front was very elderly, white haired and rail thin, and her hands were shaking as she tried unsuccessfully to unlatch her big purse. In the other line, the young father was throwing his food onto the conveyor belt with superhuman speed. I got in line behind him.

It was the right choice. I was able to start unloading my groceries before the elderly woman was even finished paying. My four-year-old was pulling candy from the shelf, and my little one was trying to help by lobbing cans of soup at me. I felt I couldn’t get out of the store fast enough.
And then, over the sound of the store’s cheery holiday music, I heard the checker in the other line talking loudly, too loudly. I glanced over as my hands kept working.

“No, I’m sorry,” the checker was almost shouting at the old woman, who didn’t seem to understand. “That card won’t work. You are past your limit. Do you have another way to pay?” The tiny old woman blinked at the checker with a confused expression. Not only were her hands shaking now, but her shoulders too. The teenage bagger rolled her eyes and sighed.
As I caught a soup can just before it hit my face, I thought to myself: “Boy, did I choose the right line! Those three are going to be there forever.” My mood was positively smug as my checker began scanning my food.

But the smiling woman directly in line behind the elderly lady had a different reaction. Quietly, with no fanfare, she moved to the older woman’s side and ran her own credit card through the reader.

“Merry Christmas,” she said softly, still smiling.

And then everyone was quiet. Even my rowdy children paused, feeling the change in the atmosphere.

It took a minute for the older woman to understand what had happened. The checker, her face thoughtful, hesitated with the receipt in her hand, not sure whom to give it to. The smiling woman took it and tucked it into the elderly woman’s bag.

“I can’t accept …” the older woman began to protest, with tears forming in her eyes.
The smiling woman interrupted her. “I can afford to do it. What I can’t afford is not to do it.”
“Let me help you out,” the suddenly respectful bagger insisted, taking the basket and also taking the old woman’s arm, the way she might have helped her own grandmother.
I watched the checker in my line pause before she pressed the total key to dab at the corner of her eyes with a tissue.

Paying for my groceries and gathering my children, I made it out of the store before the smiling woman. I had made the right choice of lanes, it seemed.

But as I walked out into the bright December sunshine, I was not thinking about my luck but about what I could not afford.

I could not afford my current, self-absorbed frame of mind.
I could not afford to have my children learn lessons of compassion only from strangers.
I could not afford to be so distant from the spirit of Christ at any time of the year—especially during this great season of giving.
I could not afford to let another stranger, another brother or sister, cross my path in need of help without doing something about it.

And that is why I hope never to forget the Christmas hero in the grocery store. The next time I have a chance to be that kind of a hero, I can’t afford to miss it.

I have a secret.

I just got some awesome news, that I can't share yet, but I am pretty excited. (!!!!!!!!!!) and a little... :0

No--I am not pregnant. That wouldn't be awesome news at this stage in my life. In fact, that would be horrible, weepy, "please, no" news.

Back to your regularly scheduled blog surfing.

I shouldn't laugh

I need to preface this post with an embarrassing nugget of personal information.

I will always ALWAYS laugh if someone gets hit in the head, or otherwise hurt in a funny way. I will feel bad too...oh yes, and help if I can, but most likely I will have to turn away for just a minute or two to compose myself.

It is so embarrassing, you know, for instance to watch your uncle hit your grandma in the head with a basketball during a family Sunday afternoon game...and laugh, hysterically. It is almost as though time slows down for me, as part of this impairment. I see everything in detail...her big boofy hair driven back from the force of the ball...the incredulous look...the glasses askew...
In spite of the withering looks from other family members...I can't help myself.

Most of my sisters have this same problem as well. Growing up, when one of us crash landed on a bike, or caught a snowball to the head, at least we knew it was worth a laugh.

So I went to the gym the other day.

I have mentioned before that my gym has a cardio theater. Large, dark, almost cold...with a huge screen, and they play pretty recent movies that rotate. The room is chock full of cardio equipment. For the past few weeks, I swear, they have played without fail "The Rookie" when I go in to do my cardio. Any show would be tolerable...except that one. I don't know why, but it really bugs me.

So I turned around and walked out. Big mistake.

Put my iPod back on, and did the cardio out in the gym while half-heartedly watching "Good Things Utah."

All of a sudden, all the personal trainers go running back to the cardio-theater. They come out, swarming around this girl in a rumpled purple suit, hair flying everywhere, sort-of half-carrying her. I am wondering what the H happened? So I finish my workout, and ask the girls working the daycare when I pick up Mikayla.

Apparently, another girl was running on the treadmill--full bore. Left it running to go get a drink.

Unsuspecting purple suit girl comes in, sees the open treadmill, and steps on it.

It FLUNG her three feet.

I missed that!!!?

That would have been worth suffering through "The Rookie" yet again.

Keep moving...nothing to see here....

Wow. I haven't been over here for a while...I just switched to the Beta version of Blogger--does it look prettier?

I wish I had something worthy to report, but sadly, I have nothing to say.

I finished up some layouts for my future rejection for the We R Memory Keepers design team search. I really liked the layouts though, so I guess motivation to scrap is good no matter what, eh?

The siding guys finished up today. The outside looks pretty good, the house looks a little boxy, but good. I should get off my butt and take some photos. Tomorrow for sure.

Inside...we are ready to paint. Then...finish carpentry, carpet and tile and pergo. I wonder if it will all be ready for Christmas? I would love to have our tree in the new addition. I don't dare to hope.

Did some Christmas shopping.

Bought all the Thanksgiving food stuff.

Did some cards for submission--I have never had a card published, going to give it a whirl.

Cleaned a little.

Cut my own bangs.

Made a new iPod playlist.

Bought some new Making Memories glitter--which is making my inner-squirrel happy with its sparkliness.

I told you I had nothing to report.

I will leave you with my layouts, so at least your stop here wasn't a total bust.

Throwing you a bone--gift idea...

I just wanted to share a quick project. And a cheap one to boot... I thought it would make a great Christmas gift for non-scrappers even, like maybe a Grandma Brag book. I taught this for a group of young women 12-18 years old and we completed the project in about an hour and a half.

The best part about it is the paper comes pre-cut to the exact size of the chipboard book. And the book and the paper are $1.50 each. You could use one pad of paper and it would be plenty for three books, maybe four.

The girls loved it!

I am going to be giving the kits out for gifts this year to my neices.

Here is the link for purchasing the mini-albums and paper. They are running a whole lot of great deals on holiday stuff. Click on the Nifty $1.50 link.
The albums:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=&pg=products&grp=380
The paper:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=&pg=products&grp=397
The holiday sale stuff:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pg=products&grp=15&pgID=1

And here are the instructions for the album, e-mail me if you have any questions.
You and Me Mini Album
Supplies needed (30 books):
30 loopy brads
60 green tags
60 white tags
30 5.5 by 2.5 inch white papers
120 circle punches
30 daisy punches
60 heart punches
30 hole punches
30 folder tabs
30 folder tab centers
30 yards ribbon cut into 4 inch pieces
Stuff to bring
Hole punches
Sanding discs
Credit cards (for glue) Q-tips for glue.
Misc punches
Scissors
Instructions
Cover:
Slightly sand cover, to bring out the debossed words. Circle dot paper, trim to 2.5 inches.
Purple strip ½ inch, adhere to bottom of circle dot paper.
Adhere white circle punch, and heart punch.
Page one:
Four square paper, adhere, round corners.
Zig-zag stripe, stripes going vertically.
Trim solid aqua paper to 2.5 x 2.5. Adhere, add daisy and center.
Page Two:
Couch floral, adhere, round corners
Shirt stripe, cut in half stripes running vertically. Glue outer three perimeters ONLY adhere, makes a pocket. Add ribbon to triangle tag, place in pocket.
Page Three:
Polka dot paper, adhere.
Paper tag trimmed 5.5 by 2.5, corners rounded. Fold in half, place flap side down and adhere. Adhere file tab, and center.
Trim pin stripe to ½ inch stripes run vertically. Stripes running horizontally. Add to opposite page, add circle and heart.
Page Four:
Retro flower, adhere.
Retro blocks, cut in half on the diagonal. Tear. Adhere outer edges only (to make pocket) insert tag.
Poke hole in the center of white circle. Add ribbon to loopy brad. Add brad to circle. Glue to page. *
Page Five:
Circle dot paper adhere.
Trim green paper to 2.5 by 2.5 adhere.
Glue circle on top of facing page circle. Sandwich in brad.
Four square paper, adhere.
Adhere white tag.

I don't know her, but I don't like her.

I share the same gym time with Perky Girl.

She checks her kid in at the same time that I do. She usually attends the classes, while I prefer to do my own thing. This mostly because I lack sufficient coordination to pull off a whole class. Especially ones that would require me to move my arms while moving my legs at the same time. I think I could keep up with most of the classes I have seen for the first five minutes, and then after that I would be the one in the back, jogging in place.

The classes at the gym are enclosed with glass walls. I am not sure if it is because humiliation is a great motivator, or for those silicone gals in the class who actually want the whole world to watch things bounce. The glass walls are right in front of the girly weight machines. I say girly because it seems like most of the men who attend the gym during mini-van hour are usually pumping free-weights in the back. It seems that hydraulics are for sissies--that the pulleys and pins are not as manly as rough-hewn plates of metal that make a satisfying clang on the floor of the gym when dropped.

Anyway, perky girl was in class today. She is always on the front row, up by the teacher. Kicking higher than the teacher. Doing more push-ups than the teacher. At a faster rate than the teacher. Boing, boing boing....her piggy-tails flying.... She runs to get a drink of water. Really. She ran. Across the gym to the drinking fountain...runs back, not wanting to miss a minute of that class.

Okay, I am a little jealous. Perky girl weighs as much as my third grader. And she sweats in perfect symmetrical patterns. She smiles while she works out. She loves the gym. It creeps me out.

Why do these people come to my gym? Honestly, if I get to the weight I am shooting for, I never want to go back to the gym. Ever. I think that it would be my reward. Congratulations! You graduated from the gym!

I can guarantee one thing. When I look at Perky girl--I know, I ain't never going to be that.

I would however, like to be able to fit into last years' winter attire. So I am still plugging along, basting in my own sweat. With the secret satisfaction that I have invested more into my work-out career than Perky girl....I have my own water bottle.

Every day this week....the gym...YAY ME!

You know what I really love about the gym?

Leaving it.

Hooey-boy.

I have been spending some time thumbing through decorating books and magazines for ideas on paint colors and accessories to use in our new addition. I was hesitant to share this with you, my blogging friends, because although we have shared a lot of personal life-moments together, I am still a tad afraid that you all will go out and buy this for yourselves, and leave me in the dust...On a waiting list, unable to scrape the cash together in time.

But the suspense is killing me. And so....With great pleasure I bring you, my upstairs guest bathroom decor:

Who can resist the festive poinsettia fabric, festooned with battenburg lace? And pray tell, how did they know that a dust-ruffle for the TUB was *just* what I never knew I always wanted.

Genius. Sheer decorative genius. And all 23 pieces for the low, low price of $39.99.

Get your credit cards ready....

Edited to add: You know I am being sarcastic, right? That this selection of ruffle-vomit is not really my style. And I am thinking also of all the gross molded crap my kids would have stuck and hidden in all the crevices of these velcro beauties the first 20 minutes they were hung up, if indeed they were attached. Pottery Barn e-mailed me this morning and threatened to pull my catalog subscription if I was serious, hence the clarification.

And another.

Sent via cell-phone camera from my friend Bryce. I am wondering if he felt a little strange firing the old camera up in a public restroom.

I am so making a mini-album out of these pictures. Do you think one of the magazines will pick it up? Hahahahahaha!

Happy Monday!

Mmmmm Bacon.

This could very well be the funniest thing I have seen.
Ever.
Sometimes people are pretty funny, even if by all intents and purposes it is vandalism.
Thanks to my friend Wendy and my *new* friend Wendy's husband Bob--this picture (and a few other less-tasteful ones) pulled me out of my latest funk.

Happy Sunday! I am sluffing church, and trying to catch up on laundry.

Pity Party.

I just need to vent a little. So bow out now if you aren't in a listening mood....

I woke up, unable to roll out of bed. I went to the gym yesterday and lifted all these stupid weights, and my whole body feels like it was hit by a mack truck. So much for exercise making you feel all healthy and crap.

My computer crashed. The guy who fixed it, got 'er back up. Came and installed it. Everything looked great. Saved all my old stuff on another drive.

Well, now my computer will not recognize my scanner. Re-installed everything, and it won't work, and I lost the stitching program that went with it.

Plus, a lot of my saved scrapbook pages that I scanned are corrupted. I lost all of my word documents, and had to get a new word processing program---not Word, which will require me to re-learn the whole new program. Can I just mention how long it has taken me to get all my programs learned?!

My iPod wasn't recognized either. Re-installed that. Apparently that wiped my iPod clean. I had to go into the old drive and click and drag every stinking individual song into my current iTunes. I know there is probably an easier way...but I am an old dog, hard for me to "get" a lot of computer things. Needless to say...that took a while.

And I get to the end of the playlists, and it freezes up with an error code, and erases again. I am ready to pack all my CD'd into a box with my iPod and mail it to Apple. "These are the songs I want on this POS...load it." Grrrrr. I think I have it figured, but truly it sucked up my whole morning. I just want things back the way they were.

The mud and tape part of the sheet rock crew came today, two trucks worth of guys. They came in, took a look around, and left. Never came back. WTH?

I thought, geez, maybe a nap will fix things...I lay down, and there is a mother-frickin' FLY, that kept landing on my face.

It's like today....the world hates me.

Then Sam came home from work, and told me how he passed two pretty nasty car wrecks on the way home, and how he was so glad that we were so blessed and healthy.

I threw a wooden spoon at him.

Now I know, there are a lot of bad situations, and I need to just get a grip and be grateful for my life. I need to be more positive like my glass-half-full husband, who...oh wait, SPENT THE WHOLE DAY GOLFING!

I just hope tomorrow is less frusterating or I am hitting a bar.

I'm Back!!!

After a week with no computer or internet..I am back!!

I have felt so lost!

I am still in the process of hooking up and re-installing everything. It stinks, but knock on wood, I didn't lose anything!

The sheet rockers finished up today too. For a minute, I felt something well up inside of me...I think it was excitement, but I quickly squelched it. Given the run of luck I have had lately I am afraid to be excited for fear that something will go wrong or be delayed yet again.

We had the nicest hispanic boys working on the sheet rock. I am truly going to miss them! Each morning Mikayla looked forward to opening the door and saying "Hola!" (Just like Dora the Explorer taught her.) It made her just giggle, and they were so nice to answer her and tell her she spoke very good Spanish. They played Latino music (KD, are you reading this?) and I really like most of it, although I can't understand more than a handful of words. They were very polite and hard working. I am a little sad they are finished.

But, the house looks awesome! The rooms are *rooms*, and aside from the inch of white dust covering every square inch of the house....I am excited!?? Oooo, better squelch that.

In closing....sucks to get kacked in the head with those car-stopper arm thingies.

Computer crash.

Just a quick "I am still alive" post.

My computer crashed. It is being fixed.

Come to think of it, everything I have touched lately has turned to crap.

Our Suburban needs a new transmission. The washer is freaking out. I made copies at a copy center and blew the copier. Sparks even. It was so bad this last week, Sam didn't want me touching HIM.

Oh well.

Anyone reading this?

To the 100 or so regulars that come here...thank you! Thanks for making me feel like I am sort-of communicating with adults.


I have no idea how to respond to your comments, it directs me to an empty blogger e-mail page. Just know that you have made me smile, and feel a little less like a psycho.

Weather extremes.

We came back from 85 degree weather, to Autumn in full force.

I have always loved Fall.

I love the rich colors of the leaves. I love crock-pot meals, and warm homemade bread. (Bread-maker!) I love having the holiday season right around the corner, and a good excuse to bring out the Christmas music. Cranking the Trans-Siberian Orchestra always puts me in a good mood.

Most of all, I love breaking out my sweatshirts and track pants again. I love the warm, comfortable bagginess of my cold season attire.

The razor gets used less too.

So...here's to Autumn. It's no beach in Puerto Rico, but it's still pretty cool.

Apologizing in Advance

I have been home from our trip for two days now.

For two days, I have been on the toilet. Constantly.

No, not sick, just normal happenings. I am relieving my bowels of a weeks worth of...um, "collection."

I have this thing, where whenever I go somewhere, could be overnight, could be a week. Could be a foreign country, a cruise ship, or camping in my own tent in the canyons 20 minutes away from my front door. I can't *go.* It's like my butt gets anxiety.

It's not that I don't "need" to *go.* I get the stomach cramps, the bloating... I just can't *go.*

And in Puerto Rico, I ate fresh fruit, greasy fried crud, pastries with cheesy-like substance in the center. I even drank water right out of the tap. One would think I would have the opposite problem that I did. One would think I would be able to produce stool O' plenty.

Nada.

Butt-anxiety. The toilet paper in the hotel mocks me.

Sam doesn't get it. He can *go* on cue. Anytime. Anywhere. Sometimes several times a day. My kids are fine too, in that respect.

It's almost like as soon as I hit my front door, and the smell from my paint, or sawdust or the general Wadley family stench--sent the signal to my bowels. Home Sweet Home.

And the bowels unclenched.

Knee deep...

...in laundry and photo editing.

And hopped up on cold meds.

Here are a few photos from the rain forest in Puerto Rico.
Happy Thursday!!

I'm home.

This past weekend was the Utah Education Association (UEA) weekend. Which basically means the kids were out of school, so Sam and I had the bright idea to take off on a quick vacay with the offspring. We dragged my Mom and Dad along with us, and flew away to Puerto Rico.

I am telling you--this was the coolest place I have ever been. Beautiful! And there is a rain forest in Puerto Rico. I have always dreamed of seeing a rain forest, and it was freaking awesome! Dense and green and lush. Saturated. That was the word that kept coming to my mind. You know when you edit photos in Photoshop, and you keep adding color until it almost looks unnatural...that was this rain forest. And the earthy smell, and the thick stillness. It was one of those "wish I could bottle this up and save some for later" moments. Sometimes just pictures and words alone don't do justice to an experience like that.

The beach was gorgeous. The colors of the whole island, and the people, and the local food...such a great place. Sensory overload. We plan on going back.

Some point in the middle of the trip I caught a cold. I feel like dog-crap. Just completely drained. And a cancelled flight, and Sam ditching me with all five kids. No luggage. Needing a vacation from our vacation.

I just wanted to check in. More later. Need to pack my oldest for Clear Creek (a 5th grade over-nighter...yipee!!)

Still running.

I went running again this morning. Hurt my knee again. Dang! I am really bummed.

I dropped down to one mile last week, and did fine, so I bumped it up to three this morning...

A few of you have asked about my iPod playlist I like to run with. So, here it is. A rather eclectic mix, but works for me. The beat is particularly great for use while LIMPING HOME.


Shauntes Songs to get you MOVING!!
(1) Baby One More Time
(2) Oops I Did It Again
(3) Lucky
(4) I’m a Slave for You
(5) Stronger
(6) Toxic
These first songs are Britney Spears. I am a closet fan. Yes, she is skanky. But dang if her music doesn’t get you moving! My dance moves could use some work. You could skip them if you wanted- but give them a chance if you haven’t relived your high school drill team years recently. Could be toxic.
(7) Strip
A classic by Adam Ant. A two hit wonder- he also did Goody Two Shoes. “…we’re just following ancient history…if I Strip for you, will you Strip for me….” Yeah, but only in pitch black with maybe one tea-light.
(8)You Sexy Thing-Hot Chocolate
A little 70’s number. I sometimes have to fight with myself, because it is so tempting to stop for a minute and just "do the hustle" right there on the street corner.
(9) Hey Baby
(10) Hella Good
Two in a row from No Doubt. The first being Shiannes favorite song. She insisted. And the second I think it a Gold’s Gym staple. I have never gone there when they haven’t played it. Brings back fond memories of me sweating my balls off on the Elliptical machine.
(11) Cotton Eyed-Joe-RedNex (their real name)
In my opinion, Country music at its best. Tim McGraw ain't got nothin' on the RedNex.
(12) Whenever, Whatever
(13) Ojos Asi
A little ethnic flavor from Shakira. Also, because on the first song-my favorite line…”lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse then with mountains.” I can relate...
(14) Peek-A-Boo-Siouxie and the Banshees
I don’t care who you are- this is a great song. One of my faves from High School. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I listened close and realized the song is talking about a lonely prostitute that gives, um...satisfaction to very specific body parts.
(15) 99 Luftballoons-Nena
This is the German version. Sometimes I sing along, and I think my accent is getting pretty good.
(16) Holding Out for a Hero-Bonnie Tyler
And aren’t we all still holding out? Where have all the good men gone? Were there any to begin with?
(17) Come On Eileen-Dexy’s Midnight Runners
Oh yeah. What a great song. If this song doesn’t make you want to go out and buy some new lingerie you need your hormone levels checked.
(18) Solsbury Hill
(19) Sometimes
This list wouldn’t be right without a little Erasure- the greatest band ever. I put it on the end of the list for the grand finale. They rock.

So there it is. My current playlist.

Cuckoo-Nut alert.

Last night I dreamed I went to an Erasure concert, well, a dress-rehearsal concert, actually. It was at my old high school, and all my high school friends were there, but older and fatter and a little wrinkly, like we are now.

I took Mikayla with me...and Andy Bell kept pulling her up in the stage to help him out. She was so cute, she had pink pants on and piggy tails.

It was a great dream. The concert was awesome! They did all my favorites. But we couldn't clap, you know, cause it was a dress-rehearsal.

Man, someone really needs to get out more.

House stuff.

Well, this last week has been insulation week. A boring step, but a necessary one, especially with the cold Utah weather rolling in.

Sam has been working two jobs, one a graveyard shift, so he is rarely home, which leaves him scratching his head to my frequent break-downs.

"Honey, when the boys pee, it freezes before it hits the bowl. When did you say the insulation was coming?" (this of course muffled by my sweatsuit and parka)

My dishwasher chops food particles into a fine mist and sprays them evenly over all the dishes in the cycle.

The doorbell isn't hooked up. No one knows this, and stands on my porch, ringing and ringing, until telepathically I feel them there.

My washer is possessed by the devil. Periodically it just stops, for no apparent reason, and I have to slam my fist down on the lid in the top left-hand corner to get it going again. The repair man came out, and it worked like a charm for him.

These are things I work around. But Tuesday took the cake. I had some insulation guys show up. Sam had gotten home at 4:30 am and was in bed. So I answered the door. They were a couple of hispanic workers. I have no problem with this, I *do* however have a problem with the fact that they didn't understand a word I was saying to them. They looked at me with that doe-eyed blank look, and then turned to each other and rattled something off in Spanish.

I am racking my brain trying to conjure up Spanish words that I know. I can count, and I know the months of the year, and how to say things not remotely related to "garage" or "power source" or "in addition to the original bid." Nothing is helpful. I tried hand-gestures and pointing...and finally, defeated, I went up and woke Sam, who speaks fluent Spanish.

He got dressed, and stumbled down, bleary-eyed.

Ten minutes later he came back upstairs.

"Why didn't you just tell them to open the garage, and start on the back wall?"
"Because I don't speak Spanish."
"Well, they were speaking English to me."

Whaaaaa?
They were playing DUMB with me??

Back that bus up.

Sam started out speaking Spanish, and that broke the ice, I guess, and made them remember that they really do understand and speak the English language.

It made me mad. So I left. I wandered around Target, and Costco, and the local scrapbook store. And then stopped in my Mom's house to kill more time.

And when I came home, the insulation was done.

And I have some new dishcloths and a pair of shoes and some Fancy Pants chipboard letters.


Que tenga un buen día!

Dirt Cheap.

I can't see how they would be making any money with these prices...

If you have ever been curious about the Clikit (an eyelet setting tool) now is the time to buy one. Last year they came out with the Jumbo eyelets (on clearance too) and the Jumbo adapter. Didn't think I would be doing eyelets again, but I love the huge ones! They have sayings around the perimeter.

Here is the link:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=4&pg=products&grp=633

Don't forget to check out what is left of the mini-chipboard albums. (For $1.50!)
Here:
http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=373


If your order is over fifty bucks, the whole thing ships free. I hate paying for shipping...

Happy Shopping, heh, heh.

Imaginisce

I have been doing a few layouts for the Imaginisce booth at Memory Trends. I really love working with their product. Lots of shiny embellishments, perfect for my inner squirrel!

Want to see?

So...that is what I have been up to. I have completed 67 layouts in about three weeks. Last night I designed a mini-album for a class, and today I am waiting for a package so I can design a calendar. You know what? As much as I love it...

...If I don't happen to see a paper trimmer until the CHA Winter rush in December, I don't think I will be sad.

Socks.

I used to have a few pairs of those bootie socks with pom-poms on the back, right where your heel goes. It was in Junior High, and quite fashionable, I believe. Of course, this was right during the height of LA Gear High-top popularity, and it was such a bad mix.

I remember hitting gym, and I either stuffed the pom-poms into the high-top, thus causing a painful lump right over my Achilles tendon, or I would simply and sadly yank the pom-pom off. This caused another major problem...When I would run, the stupid bootie sock, stripped of apparently the only elastic woven into it (when the pom-pom was severed) would gradually slide down into the shoe, and end up being balled up towards my toe. It still makes me frustrated just thinking about it. I called them creepers.

Sometimes I didn't even have clean socks to wear. Growing up in a family of five girls, anything left unattended was fair game. Bra's, shirts, chocolate, and yes, socks.

And we wore the socks, until literally I think they disintegrated into a puff of lint. What I hated more than the creepers were the quitters. The socks that lost the elastic up top, and when you walked, would creep down your leg, and hang out the bottoms of your pegged jeans. Pull them up...Down they slide. Pull, slide, pull, slide. All day long. Some genious that had a drawer full of quitters, started the "roll two nested pairs of socks down to the top of your LA Gears", just make sure they exactly match your off the shoulder Flashdance sweatshirt.

This was the beginning of my sock obsession.

When I got my first job, I started buying Hanes Crew length white in those bulk packages. No sliding down. Enough elastic everywhere to gently cup your foot. I was in heaven. And I hid them, from my sisters.

There is nothing like a new pair of socks, right out of the package. No stains, or stretchy bulges. Thick cottony goodness. No quitters or creepers.

I still wear Hanes Crew length. When they start to show signs of quitting, I retire them. I know they aren't in style. Everyone else is wearing No-Show booties again.

HA! I scoff at you.

Irony.

Sam bought me an iPod for my birthday. I love this thing! I am an 80's girl to be sure, and I love that I can pour all my [now vintage] classics into a teeny portable player.

I picked up running again. Got me one of those [extra large] tourniquet-type arm straps, and go out almost every morning. Before you roll your eyeballs...keep reading...

I have not been a real fan of running. But then again, I don't like exercise in general. I wish I did. I wish I was like those people who loooove a good game of tennis or soft-ball. But I am not. I hate the sweating, and the being tired, and the little voice inside my head that says "this is stupid, just quit. For the love of PETE, QUIT." And I always listen to the voice--the same voice that thinks since cookies have eggs and milk and flour in them, they are a suitable breakfast item.

Since the iPod, I actually enjoy the running. The 80's tunes, the fresh air, the thinking and planning of the day. I am up to 3 miles. Which, really, isn't terrible. I mean, I am not ever going to do the marathon thing, so I am okay with 3 miles. I look forward to the running--and the playlists I make for the running.

So I am thinking this could be it. The exercise that I like to do. And I am feeling pretty pumped about it during mile two, and then...

...my knee blows out. Seriously. If I would have had my cell phone with me, I would have made someone come pick my dumb butt up. As it were, I had to limp home. All day long my knee has been in pain. Not serious, but that up and down stairs takes a long time pain. Getting old sucks.

Irony. That I struggle with exercise, but do it anyway, and I am fine. Then once I find something I like...I can't do it.

I think it is God's way of telling me to just stay fluffy.

SInce it is now up on the Karen Foster site....

I am going to sneak peek a couple of layouts I did using the brand new product that will debut at Memory Trends. The second is from the Little Girl collection. Pinky and happy. The first is from the funky new Christmas collection. You can see the rest of the collection as well as all the other new releases here:

http://http://www.karenfosterdesign.com/tek9.asp?pg=products

And if you happen upon the home page, they are featuring my layout. Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week....

I just finished up 36 layouts using nine of the new lines! Whew! And they went postal today. I hope they make it there, it was hard to part with my "babies." I would just die if that box got lost somewhere.

Major cleaning day here. Everything is in shambles since the scrapbooking frenzy. Things smell funky and everything.

Update on the house...we have a four-way inspection on Monday, when that passes, we get insulation and sheetrock! YAY! There is a light, a faint light, at the end of this sawdust spewing tunnel. Can't wait to get settled in. I am getting excited. I need to start picking out some cool paint combos---any suggestions?

I am still here.

This is sad on so many levels.

First of all, cause this is my current scrap space. A Lifetime folding banquet table. It is in the kitchen, right in the main drag.

I am feverishly working on Memory Trends deadlines. Occasionally I have to cook food for the others that live here, and then I am a nervous wreck...."DON'T YOU FLING THAT CARROT!" This I say huddled over my pile of sacred scraps. Most nights I try to get away with putting a vitamin in their pocket, and sending them out to see what the neighbors are having for dinner. Mommy has work to do! And Mommy's job sends us all on vacations.

The second sadness of the photo is that I have workers in and out of the house due to the never-ending remodel that is still going on. And I know, they think I am a lunatic. I get up, send the kids off, and start a project, then I break, shower, and I am at it again. I feel like I need to explain myself. This is my "job." Cutting and pasting and drinking Mountain Dew by the two liter bottle. This is my job. But I just don't say anything, unless they need to scoot my table-studio to reach something. Or drop sawdust on me.

The next sad thing about the picture is that what you are looking at was after I cleaned up. I am the worlds messiest. Period. Somewhere in that stack is a child I am sure, probably looking for that carrot.

Anyway, back at it. 24 down, and twelve more to go...and then another manufacturer. If I didn't love what I did, I would be overwhelmed...but it is so fun, to play with new product.

Love my job.

Some good signs.

You know that I collect pictures of signs that make us laugh when I travel, and San Diego provided us with a few. They *may* have just been funny to us, what with our fine nights sleep on a motel 6 bed/rock, the five arguing kids in the back of a van, and lack of caffeine.

We had many dirty jokes that centered around the "Tickled Trout." The hair place looks like something straight out of a SNL skit. And who, seriously is the stick figure artist, cause they are a guaranteed laugh almost every time.

Anyway, just thought I would share.

Just a quick note.

I am still here, and alive and well. I guess I am not well, actually. I have a stupid cold thing, sinus, sneezing watery eyes, sore throat and body aches.

I am hoping I've contracted the West Nile Virus, cause I heard they are paying big bucks for people who have lived through that, and can give blood for them to study. HA!

Anyway....we got back from San Diego yesterday. More fun than you can shake a stick at. Whatever that means.

The kids! First time on a plane.
First time on a beach.
Good stuff.

I took a lot of pictures which need editing, and I am just starting the mad rush of layout assignments for Memory Trends, so please bear with me while I ignore this blog for a bit.


For your boredom relief...one of my favorite time-wasting sites.

http://www.husnain.com/budlight.htm

Might I suggest, in honor of my recent trip to the beach..."Mr. Paranoid of the Ocean Guy." Cause that is me, a little frightened of what lies beneath emphasized by the tickly sea grass.

TV watching.

Sam watches golf on TV every Sunday.

There really is nothing worse. And it goes on….and on….When they break for commercials, he switches the channel to the Bowling tournament. (Oh yes. He does.)

Sometimes I make dirty comments. (whispering like those stupid commentators) “Oooo, looks like he used his steel shaft for that hole” (polite clapping) Heh, heh. Sam is never amused.

One day, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Honey, is something else on?”
“Like what?”
“Anything.”
“I want to watch this.”

“Well, don’t you think if we are both watching TV together, maybe we could try to find something we are both interested in. I never watch TV, the least you could do is find a movie or something?”

“Are you kidding me? Did you happen to forget the YEAR you were obsessed with Trading Spaces, and never once did I complain when I had to watch that freak Frank sponge-paint whimsical borders or that ding-dong Doug and his big nose. (Good gads…he knew their names…) And just last week I didn’t say a word when you subjected me to a RIVETING hour long COOKIE BAKE-OFF on the Food Network! The Food Network….”(shaking head in disbelief)

Touché.

Labor Day weekend.

We went on an impromptu camping trip for labor day weekend. We dragged my mom and dad along with us.

We went to a spot up American Fork Canyon called Forest Lake. It is accessible only by off-road vehicles. We had to take the Jeep up. My husband, and my kids love taking the Jeep. Sam goes every year to Jeep Safari weekend in Moab. They love it!

I don't like the Jeep. I hate my hair in my face and my eyes and my mouth. I can't take the dust and the heat. But more than that, I don't like the hairy trails that we go on. And really, I don't understand why Sam felt compelled to take this trip. His Jeep isn't fixed from his last fiasco. It is technically only a two wheel drive right now, and with some thing-a-ma-bob he put on the wheels, it is only a one wheel drive. He explained the thing-a-ma-bob to me in great detail, and for survival purposes I blocked him out. Jeep talk is worse than an insurance salesman droning on....and on....and on....


Sure enough, about half way there, Sam scraped over a boulder and dropped his driveline. After we got it fixed, we had my dad tow us through the rest of the bad spots. Don't tell Sam I told you that. Somehow, being towed by someone else is damaging to your manhood.

We got there, and my mom and I threw tinfoil dinners in the fire while the men set up the tent. The tinfoil dinners were good. At least most of them. A couple were a little over-cooked and the meat was "butt-hard"--Jayden, 10.

One roasted hot-dog per year is all my arteries will allow.
Nothing like a good toasted marshmallow, though. I ate plenty of those.

They proceeded to blow up the air mattresses, one of which had a hole. Heeeeere is your bed, kids! Heh, heh. We went to bed, not to sleep, but to freeze all night...The joys. Not to mention, when Sam rolled over, it would literally fling me, and sharing a sleeping bag with a man is never recommended--what with the fondling and the gas.

The next morning the kids put their swimming suits on and waded all day in the disease infested puddle of a lake. It is quite pretty from a distance, but when you get closer, it is thick and green, and full of these slimy hideous creatures. We called them newts, but some other little boy who was there with his family called them salamanders. I am not really sure what they are. They were half fish and half lizard. So glad I brought hand sanitizer and wipes.

"Mom, here is how you catch a newt. You look at the water, and you see it turn into rings, then you look in the middle of the rings, and there will be a newt, wobbling. Then you can just grab it, it won't try to escape, cause they are kinda dumb."--Shayne, 7.

I am not a clean freak by any means. But one day and one night of camping is all I can muster. The next morning I was packing up as soon as I got up. All I kept thinking of was a hot shower. I am so not pioneer material. Neither is my mom. She hadn't been camping for 20 years. It had only been about 10 for me. I don't think either one of us is sad about what we might have missed out on all these years.

So, today...I am still doing the laundry from the camping trip. Shianne left her good leather sandals "behind that tall gray rock." I am still digesting that hot dog, and I still have dirt in my nose, which manifests itself each time I blow.

Good holiday weekend fun had by almost all.

My collection.

I don't know what any of this crap is.

You know, the whole house remodel thing is still going on. And each time one of the subs leave, I go around and try to tidy up a bit. I throw away their half-empty drink bottles, and lunch wrappers, and occasionally I find something to add to my collection, part of which is above. I don't know what any of it is. I don't know if it is important, or if I should be concerned that it wasn't replaced where it originally belonged. I just toss it all into "the box", which is becoming quite heavy.

I am discouraged. I am sick of nothing working. I am tired of plugging my curling iron into a shop light cord. My garbage disposal used to be on a switch, now that switch turns on a light, and I have no idea which switch will flip the disposal on. Each time I flip a switch or turn on water it is a crap shoot. I never know what is going on.

My washer was a disaster. It was hooked up, which was great considering the kids had resorted to wearing things out of my closet. "It's ready to go" they told me. So I waited until everyone left to unveil the embarrassing heaping pile of filth. I loaded the machine, and off it went! Granted, there is no hot water hooked up, but cold is good, when you are desperate.

I am sitting next to the machine, fascinated that it really is working and then, it begins to drain. And it sounds funny...but then again, I have never sat next to the machine listening to it work. And the water level rises, and I can hear it bubble up, and then it comes spewing out of a hole in the wall. I turn the valve off, and lift the lid of the machine, and call Sam.

"Dude. The washer just flooded the basement."
"Are you kidding?"
"Yeah, not much else going on tonight"

So I have to leave it, until the next day when he can look at it. Apparently when the line is installed it has a plug in it, that needs to be removed upon inspection.

Remember when they told me "It's ready to go?"

I guess in man-talk, that is not a literal phrase. That means, theoretically it *could* go, but needs more work before it WON'T FLOOD YOUR BASEMENT.

So today is apparently my 34th birthday. All this past year I have thought I was 32, and would be turning 33, but I guess not. I figured that one out last night when I was making my own birthday cake at quarter to eleven at night. I did the math, well, actually my ten year old did, and he is pretty good at math....

So I guess technically, I lost a whole year today.

Par for the course, cause I think birthdays suck anyway.

On a lighter note, I found out that high-waisted pants are back in. That means my whole stay at home mom wardrobe just got *that* much more valuable.

We love animals.

"Mom, when do you think that Fluffy will pass away?"

Totally cracked me up in that I-can't-laugh-out-loud-cause-he is-serious kind of way...cause what seven year old kid says "pass away"??!

" Well, Shayne, the pet store man told me guinea pigs live about five years, and we have had fluffy for a little over a year, so I guess another four years or so."

I am so not a pet person. My kids begged....I did the research. I did not need an animal with a life expectancy of more than five years. When the novelty wears off, it becomes mom's responsibility. Dogs-no. Cats-no. Hamsters--look too much like the mice that occasionally send me into cold sweats of FEAR. Fish-ideal, but been there, flushed that. Thus, the guinea pig.


"Why, honey?"

Thinking this will sprout into one of those touching, Hallmark moments.

"I was just thinking about other new pets we can have when Fluffy is done."

Cool shirts.

It is a dream come true, for a scrapper, to be on a design team, and have new product, AWESOME product shipped right to your door to scrap with, whenever your little heart desires.

Karen Foster has been so good to me. I love the product, love the people I get to work with. It seems like they are mind-readers sometimes, I think "it would be nice to have a paper line for all my camping pictures" and they come out with it. And the rhinestone brads---we all know how I feel about those. They are coming out with something at Memory Trends that I am dying for....when I can spill it I will, but keep your eyes open...

I am content.
I am happy.
Karen Foster fulfills all my needs(--scrapwise.)

And now, my fine readers--they have branched out into clothing. Shirts I never knew that I always wanted. Cool scrap shirts. Doodly coolness. They are the thick tee-shirts. This baby will stand up to all my post-crop washings! Heh, heh..

You can see them and order them here:

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=1&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=554

If they made sweat pants I would think I had died and gone to heaven.

I could get into this...

My new gym routine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

(Thanks Pam!)

Happy Friday everyone!

I am sorry for the frightening photo in the last post. I thought it was funny, but Sam said that is the stuff nightmares are made of.

My thought today is:

Who came up with the sound the dryer makes when a load is done? It has to be the RUDEST sound I have ever heard. And annoying. And truly, it makes me a little mad. I am going about my day, or watching a show, or on the phone--or simply lost in my own thoughts, and.......

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECKKKKKKKK! (cometakecareofmeRIGHTNOW)

Why didn't they put some type of a pretty chime in there? Something nice.

I hate that sound.

smile.

The backpacks are filled, the hair is combed, the breakfast is eaten.....
...and they are OFFFFF!!!

Suddenly, the sun is shining brighter, the birds are singing in the trees....the day is full of limitless possiblilities.

My toddler is still asleep.

I have the whole house to myself!

I am giddy. Six hours. Tra-la-la-la-la...

Happy First Day of School!!

Getting back on the wagon.

Since the whole house remodel, I have fallen off the Gym wagon. I kept going the first part of summer, and had grand intentions of continuing, but finally, my hundred daily excuses won out. I have no willpower... none.

With the heat, and the busy-ness of summer, one would think that my weight would simply maintain itself, until I could get back to humiliating myself once again on a public treadmill.

But, no. I am quite sure I have gained, although, part of the house remodel included me moving the full-length mirror into the garage. And ditching the scale. I will ENJOY the summer this year, by darn!! I will not let my poor self-image hold me back from playing with my kids.


And enjoy it I did. I ate like I just escaped a concentration camp. We sat and watched a lot of great movies. We camped, and played, and splashed in the water. And I personally did a whole lot of nothing.

So, alas, the time has come for me and the gym to get reacquainted. I am not really excited about it. But, I am ready to feel healthier, and more in control, and have some energy that wasn't injected into my veins courtesy of Pepsi-Cola.

Wish me luck, and motivation. I'm going to need it.

School starts in...

Two days, 20 hours and 25 minutes.....

I think a lesser mom would feel sad about four of her five darlings leaving the home each day.

But, I, RMOTY (reigning mother of the year) know that one should be excited. Not because I will soon have six hours a day to myself, oh no, but because of the wonderful educational and social opportunity public school provides for my offspring. Heh, heh...

Top Ten Reasons School is Great:

10) The dance festival. Anytime I can subject my boys to slicking their hair back, putting on a button up shirt, and holding hands with a cootie-infested GIRL, all the while shuffling along supposedly following dance steps to "Achy Breaky Heart" that there is good stuff.

9) The Art work. Portraits of me drawn by my children have evolved from a perky stick person, to a more realistic blimp-like and slightly overweight housewife.

8) The essays. "What I Did this Summer" And didn't they do a horror movie based on this? I love reading about what they think were the highlights...."and then Mom screemd hur hed off when she see ar nu pet snak in the tub."

7) The silence. Oh the blessed, blessed silence. The first week my ears bleed in adjustment.

6) Lunch dates with friends, that do not include dragging the riff-raff, and paying for food that will get boxed up in styrofoam containers and eventually left stashed under the seat in the Suburban.

5) School Pictures. I love the traditional "say cheese" portrait, with the occasional cheeto-orange mouth because pictures were after lunch.

4) New stuff. Clothes, back-packs, friends.

3) That my kids start using toothpaste and soap again, cause their teacher told the whole class about a cool thing called "high-jean."

2) The phone calls from potential (girl)friends. "Hi, is Jayden there...(giggle, giggle) "Yeah, hold on...."(ohmygoshSHEISGETTINGHIM!!!) *Click*

1) Yes. The SIX GLORIOUS HOURS of mommy time. Sometimes it even includes a nap.



Top Ten Reasons School is Crap:

10) Homework. I graduated, and here I am, getting my GED again.

9) Making school lunches. Every night.

8) Waking up early. From a nocturnal family, this is such a huge and painful adjustment.

7) Reports and posters that are usually due the next day.

6) Parent/Teacher conferences. Do you think they purposefully sit you in the tiny chairs for intimidation purposes?

5) Finding shoes and clean socks. Just the thought has my blood pressure rising already.

4) Catching every cold/obnoxious phrase (I know you are, but what am I)/infection that comes down the pike.

3) The Maturation Program. I have a fifth-grader this year, and I am already dreading the "Talk."

2) The dramatics of the girl. The on and off again friendships. The eye-ball rolls. The "you just don't understand!!!" The bawling.

1) Cause I actually do miss them.

Enabler Alert

Karen Foster sent all the designers an e-mail this afternoon letting us in on this clearance deal they are running with this online site. We could share with friends and family....which would be YOU! Awesome deals! Chipboard mini-albums for $1.50......?!! And that is just *one* of the deals.....Stock up, cause when it is gone, it's gone. Here is the link!

http://www.scrapbookpaper.com/tek9.asp?pgID=1&pg=products&pbk=1&grp=525

Enjoy!!

And then there was light.

I have light again in the kitchen! I thought I was going to cry, when the electrician flipped the switch, and 60 watts burst into life.

He must have been able to finally see the half-crazed cave woman from under the glow of the single, miraculous electric bulb. Or maybe it was when all five of the half-naked native children came out of the woodwork to dance and pray thanksgiving.

Eeeeeee! Light!!

Either way he left in a hurry.

Feel Great with Fiber

*This blog entry brought to you courtesy of the back of the box of Kelloggs (insertcopywritethingie) All Bran with Yogurt Bites*

Digestive Health

The time is now to pay attention to your digestive system. Located in the center of our bodies, it affects everything, but you probably dn't acknowledge it unless something goes wrong. If you are feeling bloated, sluggish, rundown, out-of-sorts, or a simple bullet away from escaping your home remodel (okay, I added the last part..) your body and especially your digestive system may be trying to tell you something.

What Upsets the Digestive System?

*Stress- stressful situations (coughcoughhomeremodelcough), and in particular, continued(whenthehelldoesitend) stress may upset your digestive system.

*Maturity- With age, the environment in the colon changes (getsfreakingsquishedfromhavingbabiessitonit), which increases the need for fiber to keep it in balance. And remember to drink plenty of water. Or mountain dew.

*Diet- Certain foods, especially those rich in fat and protein (andchocolateandflavor) can upset your digestive system. Rushing meals and eating on the go can also have an effect. (?!!)


My friend Jenn (Hi, Jenn) turned me on to this cereal, and I am here to tell you that this stuff works. If you need help getting the party started, um, below--then grab a box of this stuff. It tastes okay. I mean, its not Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, but it doesn't taste like the box it comes in either.

Just look at the lady on the box. Arms crossed over bloated and painfully distended abdomen. Gassy? No doubt. Look at the pained expression on her face.... "Hurry and take the mother-freaking photo, I have more gas than the Texaco." Notice her breakfast companion. Casual. Happy. Probably did his "business" twice already, and it isn't even noon.

Fiber--are you getting enough?

The miracle.

One day the crane came back, to put the roof(s) back on the new addition. We had a large gathering, mostly family and my SAHM peeps that thought it would bring some variety to their otherwise ordinary day.

Sam and my Dad are up in the new addition. They are brandishing 2x4's like little kids under a pinata, pushing and turning the roof until it was finally in position.

Then all the spectators hear a pop. It sounded like a nail gun, but it was actually the cable HOLDING THE ROOF.....snapping. "That can't be good," my dad says, not really knowing what the sound was. The crane operator was white as a sheet. There was nothing that could be done, but to finish placing the roof. So they did.

They pulled the cable in. There are 7 strands of cable wrapped into one large twisted mass. Five of the seven strands had snapped. Two strands, about the size of juice box straws, were all that were holding the roof from crashing down on the new addition, my Dad, and my husband.

The cables are tested every year, to 48,000 pounds. They estimate my roof to weigh in at about 5000. It should have never, ever snapped.

Miracle? Yes.

Not only would I be out a husband and a dad, but who would have finished my broken-down house?!

Afterwards, Sam asked me if I was snapping pictures of the whole process, (which is really sort-of offensive, considering my job) and I said of course I was.

Him: "So, would you have kept taking pictures if the roof would have fallen on me"
Me: "Yeah, probably."
Him: "Would you have scrapbooked it?"
Me: "Well....out of respect, I probably would have waited a year, and then I would have done a mini-album."

Priorities, people.

I wish this day would just end already.

Today was a scorcher.

Ordinarily I would be camped out underneath the useless swamp cooler vent, thumbing through a magazine and waiting for the sun to go down so I don't have to chew my air...all the while cursing the fact that we don't have central air like normal folk.

But, with the whole remodel thing, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE LUXURY OF A STUPID SWAMP COOLER. Truly, this day has been a suck-fest.

We have no electricity in the main level. And today, the plumbers came. Suddenly, we had no water. With the timely rain that flooded my entire kitchen, I have the pungent odor of molding towels wafting through the sweltering air. Add that to the infestation of flies, which I am CONVINCED are Satan's minions... seriously, I am sitting on the couch, holding a fly swatter, and a fly actually chose to LAND on my mother-freaking LIP!! My LIP!! WTH? Did it want me to kill it? Cause you can bet your left one that I chased that thing around and sent its butt smashing through its head with the swatter.

The plumbers stuck a ladder up in front of the fridge, blocking off my Mountain Dew supply. I think that was the last straw.

You know, we have had several people, friends and neighbors that have offered us assistance..."If you need anything at all, just holler." I am pretty sure that would not include me and my five kids showing up at the doorstep to relieve our bowels in their toilets. Even if we do bring our own toilet paper. There are some lines that just aren't meant to be crossed in society.

So it's been a crappy day.

No pun intended.