CHA recap.

This last week I ended up going with my best travelling friend Wendy to CHA--the big trade show for craft and hobby. They hold the trade show twice a year, and usually in different locations. This show was in Anaheim.
It was warm.
There was this big flaming ball of heat in the sky. THE SUN! Oh yes, the sun...forgot about that thing in this frozen wasteland I call home.
Here is Wendy and myself at the doors of the convention center. Don't you mind that I look like a linebacker.

Here is the convention center. It was packed with many booths.

And just to prove that not all crafters are middle-aged housewives...we get a few hip and happenin' scrappers. (besides me) This was at the registration desk.

Of course we also have our share of um...unique individuals.
I am not 100 percent sure what was going on here.

There are all kinds of booths at CHA.
Not just scrapbooking.
Here was an interesting booth featuring feathers. Boas, and other feathery things. I kinda wanted to roll around on the floor for a minute or two.

There was this booth too.
Chock full 'o shells.
In case you wanted to decorate, uh...I am drawing a blank here.
But it sure was a lot of shells.

Not exactly sure about what was going on here either, but it was shiny and glittery and I blacked out for a minute as my inner-squirrel took over.

For those crafters who run out of scrapbook pages, or walls in their trailer park, this lady is sporting the latest in clothing decor. I am sure this will catch on. You know where you saw it first! You're welcome.

Speaking of catching something...guess who released their own scrapbook product line?
Paris Hilton.
That is right.
And if Paris makes you think of garish rhinestoned dogs and glossy cheapness, then you have her product line pretty much NAILED.
I didn't meet her personally, so the photos are grainy and crappy.
Her booth:

The goods:

Paris herself:

I did, however, meet Jane Seymour, who was delightful with her beauty and accent.
She was there painting, and was very sweet.
I refrained from yelling "Hide the PENNIES!" to her, which is funny if you have seen her movie "Somewhere in Time", and if you haven't...just move along, cause that made no sense to you, and it would take too long for me to explain it.



Let's move along to a whole bunch of shots of the projects I did for the show, for my manufacturers:
This first one is a Quickutz layout in their booth. This one is especially for Shay, since I used a photo of her twins. There are a couple of my cards too.

Another Quickutz layout:

And a layout and cards, still Quickutz.

Moving over to the Karen Foster booth, there were two ginormous ads featuring my projects.


I loaded these photos out of order, but here are some of my layouts in the Core'dinations cardstock booth:

And some more Karen Foster stuff. This layout, is the layout I made from the Mechanic photo shoot. Remember that one? I thought you did...

Oh wait, what is this? On day two of CHA, the same lady wore yet another pimped out, blinged up outfit. Who can compete with that? Someone call Martha. Stat!

On the second day, Wendy and I really got into the make and takes. This is where the manufacturers let you make projects to sample their new product or tools. It has been so long since I have put something together that someone else designed.
It was delightful.
Kinda like when someone else cooks you dinner, and all you have to do is shovel it into your mouth.
I came home with some cute projects!


I also tried a new craft.
Beading.
I loved it.
Here is Wendy digging through the beads to create her bracelet:

I made a really cute bracelet too.
I am not going to show you, cause I am a beading novice, and I may have beading professionals in my reading pool!
Maybe my cute is a professional ugly cause I don't know what I am doing, ya know? Case in point: this lady thinks her pants are cute.

Enough said.
We also attended the Two Peas in a Bucket cupcake social.
Two Peas is a scrapbooking online community that I have been a part of since 2002.
It was fun to meet people that I have chatted with online, in real life.
It was even awesome-er to eat the cupcakes.

They weren't Betty Crocker.
They were good.
Let's look closer:

I inhaled mine.
It was mocha creme. With an accent on the creme part.
Then I was up all night.
All hopped up on sugar, and uh, whatever mocha is...
Then, we flew home.
Made the flight without any incident.

There is still a lot of snow here.
And kids.

The end.

New Projects

I got the green light to sneak peek some of the new releases that will debut next week at CHA (craft and hobby association show in Anaheim).

First up, the much anticipated MECHANIC line from Karen Foster. And you may remember this photo shoot from a couple of blog posts back...

Then the new GRADUATION line also from Karen Foster, and using stock photos...so thanks to the anonymous strangers who are on the layouts I did.

My favorite of this release, the BABY BOY line. I really liked it, loved the color palette. The baby is one of my sisters' twins. Nice to have such delicious photos to work with. Almost makes me want to have another kid.
Just for the photos.
Almost.
Okay, not really.

Here are the twins again.
Yum.
This layout is featuring some new die cut shapes from Quickutz.

Then we have the new release from Core'dinations cardstock.
"Whitewash", a paper collection, where the top of the cardstock is white, and the core is colored. When you sand it or tear it, the color comes through. I love this stuff!
A card:

And a layout:

Whew.
That was a lot of linking.
Can you guys see when I link on this thing?
On one of my computers the links show up as blue, and on my other computer, you can't see the links at all...just wondering...

Just to clarify.

I hope most of you understand my personality enough to know that I am very sarcastic, and was being sarcastic while I was poking fun at Yoga.

There are some redeeming factors to Yoga.
I still do Yoga. Every Friday, in fact.

I really like this comment made by one of my readers, Terra, and since blogger doesn't give me an e-mail along with a comment, I couldn't ask her permission so I am hoping she doesn't mind me quoting her.

On a side note, I can't tell you how sad it makes me, on so many levels, to hear the commenter say that they would let fear keep them from going to a gym class. I don't even know where to start with that, it makes me so angry that this is what the human race has come to, that our collective self-esteem has plummeted so much. If we can't even get over fear of the GYM, for god's sake... we're in serious trouble. And of course, our children see us being afraid, and letting apprehension dictate our actions, and they learn that it's okay to let fear keep us from doing whatever seems a little difficult at first. Sad.

I totally agree.

I know that I have asked my own mom to come to a class with me, and she said she would be "too embarrassed."

Seriously you guys. I think it bears repeating: DO NOT let fear, or embarrassment keep you from going to the gym or a class.

Trying new things is hard.
But what is your health worth?

When I fell off the ball at the gym, or when I face-planted on the bench while doing push-ups....guess who saw?

NO ONE.

Everyone is so busy sweating their guts out, holding the correct form, and trying to push THEMSELVES that they could give a rats butt less about what you are doing.

It's true.
And I can't say enough good about going out to attend an actual class.
I would never push myself that hard at home.
Right next to the TV and a puffy comfy couch...are you kidding?
So please, please, don't let my comments, or your perception of what "other people might think" keep you from trying something new.

Okay, off my soapbox.

Not going back.

Last week I tried my first Yoga class.

Remember, that class was in the gym at the church.
I survived it.
It was only a half hour long.
And I kinda liked it.
I felt all stretchy and relaxed.

So Ponica talked me into trying the Yoga class at the gym. The real gym, not the church gym.

The gym Yoga class is a full hour.
I was a dummy, cause I went to an hour long pump class before Yoga.
I really like pump class.
I thought I could do both.
Boy, I am seriously shorting out in my brain lately.

So I was early for Yoga, cause I was already in the gym post-pump.
I grab a Yoga mat, and lay one out for Ponica who was meeting me over there.

I had to take my shoes and socks off.
Lucky for me, I had painted my toenails this week.
They were glittery! and purple!, and matched the yoga mat.
I had good toe self-esteem.
I think that is important for Yoga.

The regulars for the class started coming into the gym.
They had their own mats.
They wore Teva's and stretchy Yoga pants.
They had long flowing hair, pulled back into ponytails.

THOSE WERE THE MEN.

The girls that came in, were very earthy.
They smelled like incense.
No one else had painted toenails.

When they came in, they immediately started stretching.
Some dude/lady was doing hand-stands.

The teacher came in and put the music on.
Turned out all the lights.
The class went on.
And on.
Annnnnd onnnnnn.

My stupid mat was slippery, and I was already shaky in the shoulders from doing pump class. I almost face-planted during "downward dog."

I was super glad it was dark.

Finally, towards the end of class, the teacher had us all lay down on the mat in the "corpse" pose, for a cool-down. I guess? Not sure what it is called in Yoga.

Anyway, she started counting off our breathing.
In for two, out for six. In for two, out for six...

And then she said something like "stop breathing?" The whole class was just laying on their mats like they were asleep, or maybe dead. For a long time.

Then she rings this chime, and I am not kidding you...the whole class, rolled over on their sides, still asleep. Or maybe in a trance.

Then about five minutes later, she chimes the bell again, and they all immediately sit up into the lotus position. Like a cult of zombies.

Ponica said the chimes are because some people really do fall asleep, and they have trained their sub-conscious to listen for the chimes.
The first one is like a snooze button, I guess?

Yoga is for weirdies.

Supah-Star!

Today I had the craptastic opportunity to be in yet another video production.
Remember last time I did that?
HERE.

This time was better.
Not because I am getting better at it, but because most likely when they start editing, they will choose to cut the crazy lady (me) right out of the clip.
They filmed a handful of us this time, remember last time it was just me.
That was rotted.
At least they have a choice with this project.

I could hear myself talking, and I know I was a raving idiot.
But I looked good.

They had a hair and make-up lady there to try to do her best with what God and Super Cuts gave me.
Since I know you are all just dying to see what I look like...
Here you go.

Jayden, my 12 year old was the photographer.
Not really crisp images, but even better to smooth my wrinkles out.
Kinda like soft-focus, no?

Anyway. I am glad it is over.
Not sure why I say yes in the first place.
I am a sucker that way.

This was for an infomercial that will be airing in a few weeks.
I will most likely link you here.
You know, cause I like humiliation and stuff.

Oh Shoe-t.

Yesterday I had a lot of errands to run.
I try to pack all my errand-y things into one day, because I am a winter hermit, and the sun and fresh air hurt my lungs and eyes.

So yesterday was errand day.

I got almost everything done, all but the grocery store.
I figure another day of Ramens and a Flintstone vitamin are not going to kill the children.

Speaking of the children:
And killing them...

I was on my way home, and Shianne (mom #2) called me on my cellphone to check in.
"We are all home now. Everyone is fine."
"Great! I am on my way home, I will be there in about ten minutes."
"Oh, mom, you should probably know," she said, "Mikayla lost her shoe walking home."

What?

Last I checked, the school is literally ten minutes from our front porch. The roads have melted off, leaving her a straight, dry shot home.
How is losing a shoe possible?

Shianne continues: "We were kinda piddly-dinking on the way home, and we were playing in the big snow piles."

(Big snow piles= rock hard ledges of snow that the snowplow has piled up on the sides of the road.)

At some point, from what I gathered, Mikayla's foot broke though the crust of a snow drift and her shoe came off. I am not sure how their Kindergarten and Fourth Grade educations failed them at that point. And why it was so hard to STOP right there, reach a hand down into the HOLE IN THE SNOW and retrieve the shoe, but apparently that wasn't possible at that juncture.

She skipped (unevenly) home in a shoe and a sock.
This is Utah WINTER, people.

I made them march right back to the snow piles and dig around in them.

Mikayla has two good pairs of shoes right now.

Her patent leather Mary-Jane's she wears to church.
And these shoes.
Well, now shoe.
Not plural.
Not cool.

The shoe was never recovered.
I have always wondered how sometimes, I will be at Costco, or the mall, and there will be a worn and random shoe sitting in a cart, or displayed high on a post as to alert the owner, and I have always thought "what kind of idiot loses their shoe?"

Now I know.

And I also understand why some creatures in the animal kingdom eat their young directly after birth.

Namaste.

I did Yoga for my first time on Friday.

It was a pretty low-key class, it was free at the church.
There were approximately seventeen toddlers shrieking through the gym during class.
The sound reverberated off of the basketball banks, and nearly drown out the teacher.
I was even on the front row.

The class was only a half an hour long.
In that half an hour I was called:
A Cat (not a cool cat, just a plain old mangy flea ridden cat)
A Downward Dog
A Facing Dog
A Mountain
and a Cow.
Oh, and a Corpse.

The "Corpse" was aptly named as it was some sort-of "resting pose" directly after the teacher asked us to sit Indian style, and wrap our legs around our ears.

We had to hold this for a minute breathing deeply, and thinking of cleansing thoughts while trying not to get hit by the flying matchbox cars winging across the gym by the children.

It was kinda nice to curl up in a Corpse after that.
I might try that at home sometime.

"Oh man, Mom is in her Corpse, we better go make our own Ramen's."

Did I feel better?
I don't know.
I am not flexible, so there weren't a lot of moves I could actually pretzel myself into.
It did give me time to notice how gnarly my toes have gotten, being all cooped up in shoes up for the past few months.

Pedicures on the Saturday agenda.

Goodbye $89.00

Hey--
Just a heads up.
You all know how I like good smells.
Bath and Body Works is having their big sale.
It is only through this weekend.
You can order online, if you don't have a store close by you.
HERE.
They have the Anti-Bacterial soaps for $3, and the Wallflowers and refills for $5.
We ventured into the big city. To the mall.
I stocked up.

No, I am in no way affiliated. (I wish.)
Just like to cover up the smell of my boys, and this stuff does the trick.

Mr. Fix-it.

One of my manufacturers is coming out with an Auto Mechanic line.
Stickers, paper and embellishments featuring Auto Mechanical crud; for all your crafting needs.
Are you as excited as me?
You know, cause we are all just thrilled everytime our vehicles break! down! We want to scrap it!
And who doesn't have a really great relationship with the honest guys at the grease shop?
A good enough relationship to include them in our family scrapbook.
Good enough relationships to maybe send them a birthday card!!
Right?

Well, wait no more...you will soon have the perfect product line!

Needless to say, Sam had to pose for me. For some mechanical pictures.
I am sort-of glad.
I married a pretty handy guy, and he is constantly taking care of most of our vehicle break-downs by himself.
I just never thought to scrap about it. I guess it is a good thing that this product line forced my hand that way.
Of course, he was ecstatic about letting me shoot him! (With the camera.)
Here is what I got:

Please tell me that *your* mechanic also pretends that auto parts are indeed life-sized replicas of private body parts.
Or that *your* mechanic works the camera, and could easily moonlight in B grade adult films.

The last day of vacation from school.

Junior High is killing me.

All of a sudden, (7:06 pm sunday night) Jayden has a million projects that are due by...oh yeah! Tomorrow!
Please shoot me before I kill him.

He is giving me 1,000 excuses why it is "not his fault" that these assignments weren't worked on/finished during the past two weeks.

You know...the past two weeks where he has been doing nothing at all but eating sugar and generally terrorizing his siblings.

We had a nice long talk about not making excuses, owning your choices, and taking responsibility for (and hopefully learning something) from the bad ones. There was also a BONUS! side lecture on procrastination.

The whole parenting thing...it's not that fun sometimes.

It IS fun, however, to send them back to school...

Christmas in pictures.

I finally downloaded our Christmas pictures.
I didn't take a whole lot of them.
I was more interested this year in being a part of it all, instead of being the designated photo journalistic field reporter.

Christmas Eve:
I keep thinking that pretty soon Jayden will be too old to wear the zip-up PJ's.
But he still takes them with him on Scout camp-outs.
They are dang warm!
He doesn't care if he is ridiculed by his peers.
(Stud.)(Footed PJ Stud.)
I secretly hope he doesn't like them soon.
I kinda want them for me.
Warm, and also a great husband deterrent. (If you catch my drift...)

Here is the "before we let the kids go to town" on the presents.
Also, this is the reason I now feel like I am drowning in crap.
There is no place in our house to put all those things.
Help me.
(I am the lady rocking back and forth in the corner.)
(Behind the crap.)

The greed frenzy:
Much like throwing chum to hungry sharks.
I have seen that on the Discovery Channel.
It was less impressive with the sharks.

I am sad that this one is so out of focus, but this....THIS is what compels parents all over the globe to eagerly and willingly continue to participate in the Holiday-Of-All-Stress.
This look.
Worth more than all the Visa bills.

Christmas night. The flu hits.
DUN, DUN, DUNNNNN!

It swept through the whole family.
Fantastic!

And lastly, here is a sneak of some of the CHA stuff I have been working on...while sick...
(<----such a trooper I am!)
It is also the cute outfit I got Shianne for the bargain price of $9.09. And also, one of the last photos of her with her long hair.

Off to work!

2009 More! Posts!

I am going to make a good effort to post over here more often.
When I don't have much to report, I am just going to share some of my favorite links.
Here is one I check almost every day.
You can set the "filter" to avoid the off-colored posts.
I haven't been offended yet.
But that's not saying a whole lot.
Enjoy!
http://failblog.org/

Hair today...gone tomorrow.

That is the worst blog title ever.
I am a little distracted, and can't think of a better one right now.
I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and there is no milk in the fridge.
Therefore I am eating Quaker Oat Crunch out of a bowl, without milk.
Not going down well.
Kinda scratchy.
So you get what you get with the blog title, okay?

This is not to distract from the major event of yesterday.
My nine year old, Shianne, bobbed her hair off.
She donated 11" of hair to Locks of Love.
She has never had a haircut, besides the occasional trim, oh, and the one time, when her twin brother went to town on her with his Crayola Little Me Safety scissors.
Here is her before:

At the Salon:

During:




A super craptastic "after", of the back of her head.
She slept over at Grandma's house last night, but I expect that we will do a good "after" photo shoot in the very near future.

She looks older somehow, and she has been flipping her hair around, and generally acting a little sassier.
She has been wanting to cut it for a while now, and is very happy with the end result. I am excited too, the length she was at was getting hard to manage.
I think it will be a good change for a New! Year!

Speaking of...did you know Dick Clark was still alive?
Holy nuts.
He looks like a wax statue from Madame Tussuad's.
But only if the wax was kinda melty and trying to talk.
Poor guy!
I miss him hosting my stay-at-home New Years Celebration already.
Ryan Seacrest bugs.
I miss Bob Barker on the Price is Right too.

Okay, I really need some milk.
I guess I will have to wash this cereal down with some diet A&W.
Happy freaking New Year.

Back to "our" normal.

We put all the holiday crud away last night.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I am proud of myself, most years the stuff comes down 12/26.
How can it be that every year we need a new Tupperware tote?
I really didn't think I collected all that much this year.
Could be my packing skills.
I was in such a hurry to get it all stuffed back into the crawl space, that I literally shoved everything into the bins.
Note to self: Buy super glue for next Christmas.

I think we are finishing up on the sickness here.
Mikayla is better. (mostly)
I feel better.
Shayne is better.
Sam, who thought he was coming down with it said he feels good today.
I am knocking on...well, Formica.

Yesterday I edited photos all day.
I pick them up today.
I still need to finish 30 layouts and projects by the 2nd.
I have done ten already.

The kids have been doing their part to leave me extra studio time.
Santa brought them huge boxes of cereal to live on.
And a box of oranges.
Plus, they have been wearing the same footed pajamas for days!
Team players, I tell ya.

I looked up how many WW points my homemade almond roca was.
The almond roca that I have been eating like a starving person, handfuls at a time, so much that my teeth hurt.
Oh man, it is gooooooood.
Five points.
FIVE!
A piece!
Awesome.

January will be very sweaty and hungry.

Christmas is:

72 AA batteries.
Six laser tags guns.
Four remote control helicopters.
One helicopter rotors already tangled up in Shianne's hair.
Two talking monkeys.
Six Advil.
One slightly gross yellow cake freshly baked in Mikayla's Easy Bake Oven.
Three feet of snow...and counting. (Big storm coming tonight.)
Two garbage sacks full of paper and boxes.
One Lazy-Boy recliner box (already claimed by the monkey family)
Two exhausted parents. (3 am bedtime)
**side note, the kids slept until 9:00! Mom gave them some *special* hot cocoa last night that may or may not have contained um...(whispers) Dimetapp...
5,655 calories consumed by me...and counting.
Five happy kids.

Merry Christmas everyone!

So you think you are done...

...and then a random neighbor from around the block comes over with a gift.

I am in that frantic mode...the one where you wonder if you have under-purchased for one of the kids.
Or forgotten someone.
And then you start second-guessing ALL of the gifts you have socked away in the closet.

Sigh.

CHA (a scrapbook trade show) is right around the corner, and I have 41 layouts and projects to be completed before Jan 12th. That'll make me sleep good at night, yes? Having a butt-ton of assignments hanging over my head during the holidays.

I am also coming down with a cold.
Sore throat on one side, and stuffy-head achy head.

I do love me some Nyquil though.

On the agenda for today:
Update blog. (check!)
The annual! family! Candy-Day!

This is a tradition we did growing up in my house.
Everyone in the family takes a holiday treat recipe and makes it.
I even remember my Dad mixing up some rice-krispie squares.

My kids love it, and they are all old enough to make a lot of the recipes.
We will be making:

Cake Balls
Divinity
Orangecicle Fudge
Chocolate Fudge
Caramels
Rice Krispie Squares

Maybe the having a cold thing is a good idea.
If I can't taste anything, maybe I will be less inclined to eat it.

Hoping you have a Merry Christmas!
Wishing you confidence in your gift-giving, good treats on your table, and clear nasal passages!

Let it snow! (But only minimally.)

Well, folks--it looks like Christmas is still going to come.
As much as I pretend that it may go away if I don't venture out to the crowded stores full of cranky people and those super cinnamon-y smelling pine cones.
It is still coming.

I need to finish up on my Christmas stuff.

Of course, this is the week that Winter chose to come to Utah.
Here is the view from my front porch:

That would be my husband's truck.
He will have to scrape it, in order to go to work.
My van is tucked into the garage...
That is literally the only way I would ever leave the house in winter.
If I had to scrape every time...gloves or no gloves, it wouldn't happen.
It barely happens anyway.

The kids have been cooped up inside the house.
The have asked to go outside and play in the snow, and I keep saying "no."
Why?
Because I can't face the four foot pile of wet: gloves, mittens, scarves, coats, snow-pants, boots, socks, and ballet-tu-tu's. (<---don't ask, it was some "Nutcracker" thing last year.)
I barely manage the laundry, and Winter came.
Thanks Winter!
Love ya.

So since the kids have been cooped up in the house...they have been at each others' throats. Fighting, wrestling, breaking things, crying...I turn up the Christmas music super-loud to drown them out.

What the festive? It's fabulous here!

Finally, in a fit of desperation, (Brendan was particularly ornery), I told him to get on the treadmill, and DO NOT GET OFF until you have gone ONE MILE!!
He needed to work out some of his aggression.

I hear the treadmill crank up, and I hear the thunk, thunk, thunk of his men's size seven shoes. (He's ten.)

And I go upstairs to think of something for dinner.
After a few minutes, I go downstairs to grab something, and I hear this weird whizzing sound coming from the treadmill...


He has flipped the wheels out on his Heeley's and is kicked back, and coasting his mile on the treadmill.

Today all the children will be shoveling snow.

We all knew eventually I would stoop this low.

Tuesday night, after power-pump class at the gym, Ponica and I ran a couple of errands.
One of which was the grocery store, and I was really hungry for a snack, so like the good and faithful weight watcher that I am, I went to the single candy bar aisle, instead of the Theater sized and bagged candy aisle.

Really, I know I should have just waited until I got home, and feasted on the tasty rice cakes that have been gathering dust in my pantry for two months.
I just wanted something chocolatey and chewy, okay?

Anyway, here I am, by myself, in the candy aisle.
Well, I was kinda, sort-of a little bit gassy.
And alone.
And I maybe just let a little gas escape.
My stomach hurt.

And no kidding. RIGHT THEN, this guy walks into the aisle. Right to where I was standing, and not some random stranger, but a kid I went to high school with. Not my age, but I still knew who he was.

There was nowhere for me to go, and no one else to blame it on.
I was there.
And it was there. Hovering.

I grabbed a random candy bar and left.
So embarrassed.
And the candy bar I grabbed wasn't even one I liked.
I was not going back to that aisle.

The next day, (I can't even make this stuff up) in my inbox was a "friend" request from Facebook.

That guy!
I am not lying.
I must have made quite an impression.

A picture diary.

Looks like my posts have been pretty text-heavy for the past few weeks.
So here are some photos of the latest happenings:
First up.
My friend and gym buddy PONICA <----that is a link, in case you haven't been following the blog long...
Ponica has three kids. Her youngest is a daughter. She is a cute little turd, and she is little.
This picture was taken the other night when they were over at our house.

Can you see what the Daughter of Ponica chose to play with?
Hand-weights.
Yep.
She is clearly Ponica's child.
I think that blood is thicker than water. Or so the saying goes.
I needed some new pictures for an assignment.
This was the best I could do.
Indoor, at about 10:00 at night, with a flash.
Pretty craptastic, but it appears as if my girls actually like each other?
Weirdness.

Sam's dad owns a bowling center.
Sam and his dad have been working all summer long on getting everything ready to build a new center. In our town! YAY!
The past few weeks, they have broken ground on the new center.
The kids like to help, where they can.
It helps that my dad is the contractor for the project.
He doesn't think the kids are too pesky.
Yet.

Before you are too impressed with my boys, please note that what they are carrying is not plywood or Masonite.
It is foam.
Let my five year old daughter demonstrate:

Of course, she has been working out with Ponica's daughter.
Project?
Okay. Most of the stuff I have been working on I can't even share yet. Some of it has been for a book deal for Memory Makers Magazine. Oooooo!
Remember that I am HUGE in Europe? Yeah, I thought so.
But here is a little somethin' sporting some Core'dinations cardstock, and some Quickutz Silhouette shapes.

Those photos are old ones.
Mikayla is I think three there.
Here she is this afternoon:

This weekend, I met up with some friends and had lunch.
Some of them pictured are my online scrapping friends. It was pretty cool to meet them in real life.
Laura and Deneen came to Utah from California.
Just to go to lunch with me!
Right guys?
It had nothing to do with the free Utah trip they won from Creating Keepsakes...

Thank you for letting me steal the photos too.

We also did some warehouse shopping while they were here.
I only got us lost once trying to find the warehouse.
Those California girls were dying to see the industrial areas of Utah anyway...
I didn't need anything, but still managed to blow through $80.00.
It felt darn good to get out.
I need to do that more often.
(If you ever want to go to lunch...have your people call my people! I'm totally in.)
And other randomness with no photos:
(You are welcome.)
My laundry on Thursday was piled up. I bet it was at least 20 loads.
I am happy to report that it is finished.
There have been no signs of additional house guests.
I hit a pretty good clearance rack at Kohls, and got Shianne a darling outfit. I will probably need to take a picture of this one.
I had a $10.00 gift card (free from my last Kohls purchase) and after a teeny bit of flirting with the little cash register guy, I got an additional 30% off.
Picked up:
A plaid mini-skirt.
A long-sleeved shirt to match.
Pants for Mikayla.
Shirt for Mikayla.
All for $9.09

Love me a good bargain.
And minus the pretty standard stuff like highly-nutritional and tasty meals, educationally stimulating family activities, and intense personal scripture study, you should feel caught up with life at the Wadley Asylum.

The Christmas List part deux

I loved this comment from one of my blog readers, Marti.
Thanks Marti!

About 5 years ago, we started the "3-gift rule" with the kids (from Santa). Christ received 3 gifts at his birth and we told the kids they shouldn't receive more than HE did for HIS birthday so they are allowed 3 gifts only. It works great! They have to narrow it to their favorite 3 things. It works quite well. One year, my son wanted 4 things and he asked me "Why weren't there FOUR wise men?" . WE put the extra item in his stocking - it was a small thing. When the kids ask why other children receive more than 3 things from Santa, we explained that it was OUR rule and we told Santa that is how we want it done in our home.

Good luck with those lists! You have to admire their dedication :o)

I really want to start this in my house.
I broke it to the kids last night.
They seemed to be fine with it.
The kid that wrote the list?
Already found a loophole.
"Mom! That will be great! Cause one of the gifts Jesus got was GOLD!
A GIANT! BRICK! of GOLD!"
"Yes," I said, "but then the other two gifts were Frankincense and Myrrh, which are basically deodorant and cologne. So if you are okay with that being the other two gifts, then we are set."

Making a list...and CHUCKING it twice.

My kids have been unable to complete their homework, as of late, as their poor little hands are all cramped up.
They have been feverishly working on their Christmas! Lists!
Here is a sample of just one of my little darlings' Holiday Wish Lists.
Some of the items on that list include:

PS3 80GB Game System
Recharge Station
Remote
Wireless Controllers
Five or six games (Santa can just pick)
Guitar Hero World Tour Super Bundle
Portable DVD Player
Video iPod

This list...

The list went on for four pages.
That's right folks, college ruled, one item per line, FOUR PAGES...
And he assures me he is not finished.

I told him Santa would not be bringing him a whole bunch of expensive things.
"Why not?" he said, "he just has those elves make everything for free."

"Well, honey, someone has to pay the elves for all their hard work."
"Dad and I usually pay Santa for some of the expensive stuff..."
I was sweating! I didn't know where I was going with this.
I had to go into "labor laws", and "minimum wage"...to keep alive the LIE that is SANTA. Sigh...

It would be a lot easier if the kids just figured it out.
I know, I know, it would lose some of the "magic", but man! Santa gets a lot of credit for just sitting around in a red velour track suit.

Back to the list.
And the disappointment that will ensue for this kid come Christmas morning.
I can get on board with number 51: Soccer Ball.
Number 71: Boondoggle stuff (he went to Scout Camp, okay?)
Even number 73: Alvin and the Chipmunks Soundtrack.
A little annoying, but at least I KNOW WHAT IT IS!
The rest of the list has things like:
ZX Turbo
and Jetrax TG
(???!)
And, if Santa could not figure things out either, or if he just happened to have some extra room in that sleigh of his...I especially enjoyed number 53:

Covering all the bases, right there.

I think it would be entertaining for "Santa" to teach him a lesson on being greedy.

Maybe "Santa" could donate all of his allotted Christmas Funds to a charity.

Better yet, "Santa" could wrap up the utility, dentist and his emergency medical bills all stamped with a "Paid in Full, Merry Christmas!"

Or perhaps, "Santa" could wrap up a manila envelope, full of photos of this kids horribly-messy-should-be-condemned, apparently MOUSE INFESTED room, at various times throughout the year...accompanied by a festive North Pole letterhead correspondence card with the words:
"You Fail."

Thankful

Sam works the graveyard shift on weekends.
As a result, his sleep patterns are pretty messed up.
Sometimes it is frustrating, to have him still sleeping in the afternoon.

At night, I usually go to bed, and leave him watching a movie.
"Come to bed" I say.
"I am not tired."

The day before Thanksgiving, he slept in longer than usual.
I had to make sure he was still alive...

"What time did you go to bed last night?"
"After three."
"What were you doing?"
"You don't want to know."
Since he knew my imagination could conjure up something probably worse than what he was actually doing, he quickly explained that we had a MOUSE! in the house, and he stayed up to make sure it caught its demise.

A little background here.

I am deathly terrified of mice. That puts it mildly.

I am not actually sure there are words in the English language to describe my terror of mice.

"They are more afraid of you than you are of them."
That is a lie.

We had an unwanted visitor last year, and I almost put the house on the market.

He found our vulgar little house guest IN THE PLAYROOM!
WHERE MY BABIES PLAY!

He set a trap, and then blocked the door off by shoving a blanket under the bottom.
He watched the disgusting rodent go up to the peanut butter laden trap, run OVER it, and to the other side of the room.
Good quality trap, right there.
Then the offensive fur ball ran towards the door, was confused at it being closed off, and headed for the other side of the room.
In the process, the germ-infested creep ran over the top of Sam's slipper-clad foot.

(Sam is narrating this story, half asleep)

He said this is where he was only slightly embarrassed to admit that he squealed like a teenage girl, and did a rapid two-step that would have made his old clogging teacher proud.

As he skipped around the playroom, shaking himself, he realized he lost sight of the enemy.

Then he looked down.
Under his slipper.
And there it was.
Paws up.
Dead.

I am not sure it was being stepped on as much as being a witness to 190 pounds of man flitting about in slippers and underwear that did him in.

Whatever the reason, I am grateful it is gone.
And thankful that my husband loves me enough to leave me out of it.
Also thankful that my kids are old enough to clean out that playroom today without their skittish pansy of a mother.

A poll...

Just wondering, here.
Does anyone in your house use those bathroom fart fans?

I am really tired of being caught off guard; walking into a closed bathroom and right into a lingering cloud of post-turd aroma.

No more Christmas Shoes.

I think "Christmas Shoes" has got to be the sappiest, worst Christmas song ever.
Oh my gosh.
Even my kids moan in agony when it comes on the radio.
And every year, it is back.
Like head lice.

I have been listening to Christmas music on and off for a couple months now, from my own CD collection, but I recently found a local station who is playing it 24/7.

This gives me some good variety, but also subjects me to Christmas Shoes.
If you don't know what I am talking about: A: You are lucky. And B: Click on "Christmas Shoes" and it will link you to it. Don't come crying to me with your bleeding ear drums.

Also "Simply having a WONDERFUL Christmas Time."
I don't like that one either.
It affects me much like nails on a chalkboard.
What was Paul McCartney thinking?
What an insult to the Beatles.

Anyway, new this year...is CHRISTMAS SHOES: The Movie.
I am not kidding.
And it features Rob! Lowe! So it has GOT to be good. Right?

Really, can they milk the whole mom-dying-during-Christmas thing more?

Heavy sigh.

Stupid Sugar.

We all know that I have fallen off the wagon on the whole watching my weight thing.
Not so much fallen off the wagon...more like the wagon keeps driving by candy stores, and I cannot stop myself.

So needless to say, I am up three pounds.

I am not happy.

I want to be able to eat everything, and in large amounts. Like my kids.
I am not sure what happens as you get older.

I am back on points this week.
And next week.
And however long it takes to dump my extra few pounds.

I am realizing that this will never end.
Unless I get a TAPEWORM!
Hey? Anyone ever tried one of those?
Sigh.

Made this last night.

It was good.
Real. Good.

Orange Cream Fudge
INGREDIENTS
3 cups white sugar
2/3 cup evaporated milk
3/4 cup butter
1 (7 ounce) jar marshmallow creme
1 (11 ounce) package white chocolate chips
3 teaspoons orange extract
12 drops yellow food coloring
9 drops red food coloring

DIRECTIONS
Grease a 9 x 13 inch pan.
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, cream and butter. Heat to soft ball stage. Remove from heat and stir in marshmallow creme and white chocolate chips; mix well until the chips melt. Reserve 1 cup of mixture and set aside.
To the remaining mixture add orange flavoring, yellow and red food coloring. Stir well and pour into prepared pan. Pour reserved cream mixture on top. Using a knife, swirl layers for decorative effect.
Chill for 2 hours, or until firm, and cut into squares.

I ate two pieces.
It is very rich.
Do not ask me what I constitute as a "piece."
I had guilt, and thought about getting on the treadmill.
So I sat on the couch, and watched "Get Smart" with the kids until the guilty feeling passed.

I am still in awe.

Sam and I went and saw Body World 3 last night.

I have to say, this was the most awesome thing I have experienced in a very, very long time.

I am a really visual person, so lots of questions I had about human bodies was answered for me.

Sam wondered if somehow I had skipped health, or anatomy, or wherever it was I was supposed to learn this stuff.

I was completely fascinated.

For instance:
I was surprised at the location, and how small an appendix is.
I was equally as surprised at how large a liver is.
I saw where my gall bladder used to live.
And how tightly all the organs fit inside a body cavity.
I always imaged lungs looking like a mass of packing bubbles.
Nope. More like a really fine sponge.
You can't really see the alveoli.

The bodies were definitely either male or female, if you know what I mean...I would not take my kids.
If you catch my meaning there...
For those of you wondering about that.

If you get a chance to go--do it.
Wear comfortable shoes.
They don't let you bring in a purse, backpack, camera or anything, so leave that stuff in the car.
Plan on spending some time.

All in all we spent about 2 1/2 hours there, looking at organs, blood vessels, and full bodies.

Then we went to eat.

All those dried out muscles made me crave beef jerky.

NO WAY!!!

CLOWN MUG

<----click on that.
If I hold on to my investment, I can pay for therapy later. With ca$h.
(thanks, Lora!)
(edited to fix link, it works now :))

Tell me you wouldn't have bought this....

This set me back fifty cents at the thrift store.
I am irrationally scared of clowns and a couple of other things that I am ashamed to mention on my blog.
I bought it anyway.
It spoke to me.
Like a horrible, horrible nightmare.
I was sort-of, a little bit, afraid to not buy it.
What exactly is it, you ask?

Well, the scalp comes up...

It is a fabulous MUG!

And you can drink your favorite beverage out of the clown's head! YAY!
My current favorite is this:

Although a goal of mine, is to dump soda all together.
I am taking that one slow, I just broke up with caffeine, and I have been having a rough go.
One step at a time.
Happy clown will help me.
Or drag me under my bed at night and kill me.

My new BFF

There is this new kid that moved into the neighborhood.
He is in ninth grade.

He came over to our house Thursday, after he and Jayden got off the bus together.
They played some Foosball in the basement.
I was in the kitchen on the computer...I hollered down and asked Jayden how school went.
New Friend came upstairs with Jayden to introduce himself.
That is when he said IT...

"Are you the sister or the Mom?"

I love that new kid.

Finally have Internet again.

Our phone lines have been dead for four days.
Qwest finally figured it out.
They traced our lines back to a box that is located close to our elementary school.
The last technician to work there left the box unlocked and some kid went to town on all the wires in the box with a pair of scissors.
HA!
Anyway, I am baaaaaack!
Here is a quick costume gallery from Halloween.
First up, me and Ponica.
She made me dress up. I wasn't planning on it. She told me "everyone would be dressed up at the neighborhood trunk or treat."
You can plainly see she runs my life now.

Shianne as a...well, we never did give it a title. Punk-rock? Goth? Just an excuse to wear a lot of make-up, tease her hair, and if you scrolled down, she was wearing fish-nets.
Remember her back pack?
I thought you did.

Next up, Mikayla.
Your basic Witch.
Purchased the night before Halloween, on clearance for $10.00

Jayden did not dress up for school, and right before trunk or treat, he decided to throw something on.
Dad's stinky Hockey stuff.

Sigh.
Why does this kid always look like a nerd?
His dental face gear will be coming on Monday.
Killing self-esteem, it's our specialty here...

Brendan is always something scary, and black.
And the same make-up.
White skin, sunken cheeks.
He complains the whole time, and then loves it.

There you have it.

And in other news...
My Mom and Dad went on this cruise.
My Dad works for the airline too.
They flew stand-by.
They are currently stuck in Istanbul.

I am counting my blessings.

I voted.

Although I didn't really like either presidential candidate.
I will just be happy to have the elections over.
I am tired of it all.

I have, however, enjoyed picking up on some of the campaign lingo.

"I am Shaunte Wadley, and I approve of this dinner."
Has a way better ring to it than "Hey, guys! Come eat!"

"I am Shaunte Wadley, and I approve of this laundry."
Nice!

I went into Target today, and bought a bunch of Halloween candy on clearance. I know that this was a bad thing for the diet plan. But I got fun sized Snickers bags for $1.14!
Tell me you would have passed that up!
More wrappers! YAY!

I really don't have much else to report here.
Sam is out of town, but gets home tonight.
Since he has been gone, for a whopping two days:
The dishwasher plugged up. We have had to wash by hand.
Oh, the agony!
The dryer is not drying.
And...
My phones don't work.
No dial tone.
Hence, our internet has been unavailable.
I have been stealing internet from a neighbor.
I thought about baking them cookies.
But I am afraid the oven will die too.
Maybe I will take them some of these candy bars!

"I am Shaunte Wadley, I approve of this blog post."

Shhh...

When the kids go to school tomorrow, I am throwing out all the Halloween candy.
I can NOT take picking up one more candy wrapper!!!

My day sucked.

Yesterday was one of my least favorite days I have had on this earth so far.
I don’t like the dentist.
And yesterday, I had the privilege of spending two quality hours there. For myself. I had a little work done.

It started off nice. Around 2:00.

The office has warm cookies. I am not kidding. They are not even trick cookies made out of fluoride or something. A festive plate full of warm, chocolate chip cookies. They were in reception where you check in and out.

I declined, since I was having work done, and had just brushed the crap out of my teeth right before coming over. To prove how thorough I really am, and how did this girl get cavities anyway? I am not sure, she is such a good brusher!

They seated me, and offered me a soft, warm blanket.
I got my own TV. With a tiny remote.
Of course, nothing was on, so the assistant offered me a movie.

I chuckled inside, thinking a whole movie was a bit much, but I settled on one to watch because it was better than football and way better to drown out the horrible elevator music that is playing in the background.

Then the dentist came in, and his perky assistant with a clipboard.
They started that secret code talk.
“Looks like a 17 on J and A.”
“Possible 24 on J as well.”
Perky assistant scribbles away…
I am pretty sure a “17” means “this lady never flosses.”
And the other code was for the Mountain Dew deposits.

Then they both leave. Probably to talk about my super! awesome! shoes!. I wore the silver ones. They give me confidence. I needed confidence.

In fact, I almost chickened out in the parking lot.

Then this other chick comes in.

I guess her only job is to give people shots.
She has the worst job ever.
No one likes her.
She should get some awesome shoes.

The first order of business she attends to is to chain the token bib around my neck.

This sends the clear message, that yes, you will be drooling all over, and you will have no dignity at all, as you will not be able to feel said drool.

She gave me the numbing gel, and while I am holding two swabs in my mouth, and trying to prevent the drool from running down my chin…she proceeds to talk to me.

Why? Why do they do this?

She is talking about my kids from yesterday.
“Very well behaved” she said, “just great kids.”

And I am thinking “Well, pick a favorite, cause most likely you guys will be getting one for collateral when this bill hits.”

I mumbled something, and I think she translated it.

Then, she stuck me with the needle. IN THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH. I swear to you…she nicked my brain. I felt it in my scalp. I am not even lying. And I thought I was going to cry.

The second injection went into the side of my mouth, and I was numb in my ear.

What is that?!

Then she left. And the dentist came back.

Everything after that was a blur.

There was drilling, and grinding, and I smelled burning teeth, and the girl kept suctioning my lips and it made a horrible sound, and where does all that spit and blood and tooth shards go anyway? Where? Is there a big septic tank under the dentist office?

I couldn't hear the movie, what with the drilling and my newly deaf ear.

And they kept moving and blocking the movie anyway.

At one point I lifted my leg up, and moved the TV with my foot. I can thank the gym for that moment of dexterity.

Then the movie was OVER.

A 1 ½ hour movie.

The credits were rolling!

How long was I going to be in that chair? The blanket was sticking to my sweat and I felt claustrophobic and trapped, I wanted to scream, but I couldn't because, well…I had FOUR LATEX CLAD HANDS IN MY MOUTH.

And then, when I was praying for escape, it was over.

“You did great!” said perky.

What does that even mean? Are there really people who don’t do great? Laying there, deaf and mute?

“You have a temporary crown” she chirped “make sure you don’t put stress on it with anything like Corn-nuts.”

What the freak?

Corn-nuts?

She continued “Nothing sticky like Milk Duds, Sugar Babies or Gum.”

Ouch.
There goes the post trick-or-treat bag raid.

“You should be good to go then, call us if you have any questions.”

I ripped my sticky skin off of the naugahyde chair, and made my way to the front of the office.
To reception.
Where the cookies are!
Cookies I couldn't eat.

And I stood there all numb and drooled all over my super! awesome! shoes! while I made my next appointment.

I was numb until about nine, and then the pain hit.

Conveniently the pain hit while I was in Satan’s Warehouse, getting last minute Halloween costumes for the “very well behaved” kids. Kids who unbeknownst to me until TONIGHT lost our costume bag because they wanted to put on a play with them in July.

So don’t judge too harshly the costumes of the Wadley kids this year.